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Thread: My name is Indrid Cold, and I'm about to lie to you

  1. #1
    Squire IndridCold's Avatar
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    My name is Indrid Cold, and I'm about to lie to you

    Morbid has already posted an intro and I have a first post up at the blog, but I thought I'd do a formal howdy post here.

    The lie I refer to in the title line above is my name. It isn't Indrid Cold, that's for sure. Many people might know that I pulled that one out of John Keel's book, The Mothman Prophecies (Richard Gere was in a crappy movie based on the book a few years ago).

    I'm a professional writer, though I don't know that it will always show when I post, here or at the blog. That's why we perfessional-types have us some editors what to fix our grammar n' spellin' and all.

    So here's what I'll tell you:

    -- I'm around the same age as Morbid. Maybe a little older.
    -- I'm pasty and male. I'm 6'0" but that doesn't tell you much, because so are several million other pasty guys out there.
    -- I live in a haunted house. That's neither here nor there, but it's pretty fucking cool.
    -- I won't be able to post as often as Imp -- but then again, she does have "queen" in her name. Think about chess -- if Imp is the Impqueen of blogging at DD, I'm merely a rook, at best. Still, I'll try to keep it regular, like my grandpa after his prunejuice.
    -- Unlike a lot of people who get paid to write, I won't pimp the day job here. I say this because I've noticed how writers will do that, and it just kind of pisses me off. Also, you'd know my real name, then.
    -- I am about as voracious a reader as you will ever meet.
    -- Everyone says it, I mean it; I like all kinds of music. Seriously. It's a little weird. I've got mp3s of everyone from Kanye West to Frank Zappa, Yo-Yo Ma to Imogene Heap. With Metallica, Van Halen (when they were good) and Led Zeppelin thrown in. I'll stop now, the list would get ridiculous.
    -- While I read everything I can get my hands on, I have a preference for true crime, crime fiction, horror, suspense and history. I also read biographies and have a weird affinity for stories about pandemics and plagues. I've read a lot of books about the 1918 influenza pandemic and the Black Death.
    -- I'm a bit of a movie buff. Some recent favorites include No Country for Old Men, Capote, Zodiac, The Grudge and The Ring. J-Horror can be awesome because the Japanese managed to turn the genre on its end and bring some original cinematography, original concepts to the horror movie. It was getting kinda stale.
    -- I do watch more TV than I should. I'm embarrassed by how much I like South Park and Adult Swim.

    That's all I can think of without giving away the farm. You got questions, ask 'em -- I reserve the right to not answer, of course.

    IC

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  3. #2
    Grand Count nurseronda's Avatar
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    Welcome to the site.:D

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    Enigmatic Motherfucker Morbid's Avatar
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    Aside from the first half of your music list, and going by your reading, movie and television tastes...we may be brothers. Did your dad happen to impregnate a young Spanish girl in Madrid? :)

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    Baron dop's Avatar
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    Welcome to the board.

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    Vivisectionist
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    welcome

    1. i would have left a space between the words Indrid and Cold, but other than that its a great name, and i wish i had thought of it first. so go fuck yourself.

    2. personally, i liked the movie, even though i realize i am in the minority report on that one.

    3. i got nothing.

  9. #6
    Squire IndridCold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morbid View Post
    Aside from the first half of your music list, and going by your reading, movie and television tastes...we may be brothers. Did your dad happen to impregnate a young Spanish girl in Madrid? :)
    Dude, knowing my dad, I wouldn't freaking rule it out. He was a major pimp back in the day, has a thing for European and latino women, and has been to every continent save Antarctica. My mom is a saint for having stayed with his dog-ass.

  10. #7
    Non-cooch slinger Rotten Apple's Avatar
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    What a great intro.

    As far as being pasty, this is the internet, it pretty much goes without saying that you are going to be pasty.

    Admitting that you like Kanye West scores you big points with me. Around here that is akin to saying you wear adult diapers at night because you wet the bed. Unfortunately, some of the guys may demand that you turn in your man card. Just a warning. But don't worry I'll loan you a purse and some heels, you'll fit in with the ladies just fine.

    However, your avatar frightens me. I will have to skip your forum posts in order to save myself from bad childhood memories and nightmares. If you do see some of my responses to your posts just be aware that it is probably drunk chat night and my bravery to look a psycho clown in the face is probably coming from a bottle of the truck. I can not be held responsible for any incoherent babbling and I reserve the right to deny any and all things said during those times. Deal? Cool.

    Welcome.

  11. #8
    Grand Knight maryhaze's Avatar
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    ooooh, baby you tell me your haunted house stories & i'll tell you mine. this house is older than dirt & the dead outnumber the living here. & welcome!:)

  12. #9
    Wadi Thooo Wannabe Lizard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maryhaze View Post
    ooooh, baby you tell me your haunted house stories & i'll tell you mine.
    I hope swivel doesn't read this. He probably would be jealous.
    Lizard is not woman, and not a man. She is something you will never understand. ~From the collected works of the great and marvelous Morbid

    It's hard to shoot yourself in the foot when it's in your mouth. ~Stephen Colbert

  13. #10
    Meow Baby! Unamused Cat's Avatar
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    Welcome to the board IC. :)

  14. #11
    Libertine Enchantress impqueen's Avatar
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    Indrid,

    Welcome to the site! I've said it elsewhere, but I'm really glad you're here.

    Things you should know:

    I am handcuffed to the couch for hours a day or until my posting quota is met. Beware, or the same thing could happen to you. Especially if you look hot in Kathy's heels.

    Speaking of the couch.. I'd avoid it unless you bring nonoxynol-9 and Clorox wipes. Even then, it's sketchy when Morbid gets lonely.

    You have the awesome taste in music. Just noting.

    If you are a panty collector, you can totally expand your collection here.

    Perhaps most importantly, Drunken Chat is at random, but almost always on Thursday, Friday, and/or Saturday nights. We may call other nights depending on personal circumstances (drunk, or bored).

    I am not as insane as Morbid said I was, and yes, I am who you think I am.

    Welcome!

  15. #12
    Ream Me Up, Scotty swivel's Avatar
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    Welcome to the site.

    If you can't get enough of reading, check in on our book club. We are doing our first book right now: "The Dark Side of Man" by Michael P. Ghiglieri

    The books I have lined up are a non-fiction tour of what makes the human race capable of the crimes you guys write about on the front page. Some of the books upcoming: "Beyond Revenge", "Why We Lie", "The Myth of Monogamy", "The Natural History of Rape", and "Predictably Irrational".

    Just don't let any of your reading take up time better spent writing for our esteemed site. And, when you get a little harem of DD chicks chasing after you with their panties swinging around their heads, throw a fella a bone, would ya?

  16. #13
    Wadi Thooo Wannabe Lizard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by swivel View Post
    And, when you get a little harem of DD chicks chasing after you with their panties swinging around their heads, throw a fella a bone, would ya?
    Don't listen to him, Indrid Cold. swivel has a fucking brilliant wife who used to be a guy, so DD chicks swinging panties doesn't mean shit to him. Probably would drive him away. He's just trying to be nice in that skewed swivel way.
    Lizard is not woman, and not a man. She is something you will never understand. ~From the collected works of the great and marvelous Morbid

    It's hard to shoot yourself in the foot when it's in your mouth. ~Stephen Colbert

  17. #14
    Grand Count Mom of 4's Avatar
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    Welcome, so glad you joined us here in the forum too. Loved your first story on the front page too.

    I love your taste in music, books, movies and even your avatar. Freaky ass clowns don't scare me though.:D

  18. #15
    Middle Aged Malcontent Zora's Avatar
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    Oh, holy hell ... it's a really scary clown avatar.

    It could only be creepier if the clown is also a midget.

    Welcome, IndridCold, AllOneWord.

  19. #16
    Necessary Evil What Would Satan Do's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Being the Father Of All Lies, I take being lied to as a compliment!
    so...
    Welcome IC!

    Voracious reader?
    Varied musical taste?
    [as]?
    Awesome!

    (so long as you like the good [as] not the anime [as]...well except Big O, Big O kicks ass!)
    So what are your favorite [as] shows?
    The good die young.
    Pricks, live forever!

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  21. #17
    Knight ashdavus's Avatar
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    Welcome

    :D

  22. #18
    Knight ashdavus's Avatar
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    Welcome to DD! I am something of a come and go...drifting between lurking and posting as I presently am homeless and living at the mercy of my in-laws. See...I lie too. I'm not REALLY homeless...my house is in Ohio. Unfortunately I live in Colorado.
    I like your music list. I was fearful that I was the only wierdo who did odd things like having both Pachelbell in Canon D and Sir Mix a Lot on the same ipod! I don't feel like such an oddball now.

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  24. #19
    Grand Knight maryhaze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lizard View Post
    I hope swivel doesn't read this. He probably would be jealous.
    yeah, but Swivel hasn't seen my DD girls yet. hell, i'ma gonna share. but my hubby has to post the pix cuz i'm a computer moron.:p crap, Swivel prolly likes little tiny, girly girls. any takers on a big-boobed, long blonde haired really cranky bitch????

  25. #20
    Wadi Thooo Wannabe Lizard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maryhaze View Post
    yeah, but Swivel hasn't seen my DD girls yet. hell, i'ma gonna share. but my hubby has to post the pix cuz i'm a computer moron.:p crap, Swivel prolly likes little tiny, girly girls. any takers on a big-boobed, long blonde haired really cranky bitch????
    Can't say I usually swing in the female direction, but I'm gonna have to be a taker on this one!!!
    Lizard is not woman, and not a man. She is something you will never understand. ~From the collected works of the great and marvelous Morbid

    It's hard to shoot yourself in the foot when it's in your mouth. ~Stephen Colbert

  26. #21
    Grand Count AnalBreeze's Avatar
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    Welcome and I love your taste in movies! :D

  27. #22
    Squire IndridCold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathy View Post
    What a great intro.

    As far as being pasty, this is the internet, it pretty much goes without saying that you are going to be pasty.

    Admitting that you like Kanye West scores you big points with me. Around here that is akin to saying you wear adult diapers at night because you wet the bed. Unfortunately, some of the guys may demand that you turn in your man card. Just a warning. But don't worry I'll loan you a purse and some heels, you'll fit in with the ladies just fine.

    However, your avatar frightens me. I will have to skip your forum posts in order to save myself from bad childhood memories and nightmares. If you do see some of my responses to your posts just be aware that it is probably drunk chat night and my bravery to look a psycho clown in the face is probably coming from a bottle of the truck. I can not be held responsible for any incoherent babbling and I reserve the right to deny any and all things said during those times. Deal? Cool.

    Welcome.
    I'll beat the first sonofawhore who asks for my man card to death with this beautiful patent leather clutch I just got at Macy's. It will, at that time, contain a brick.

    Just sayin. :D

    And about the psycho clown -- I explain him thisaway: he's what I see whenever I see any clown, anywhere, no matter what the clown himself actually looks like.

    Deal. Cool.

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  29. #23
    Grand Knight maryhaze's Avatar
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    way cool, i can give you the name of a clown that i'd like to see beat to death. he's why i can't make hippie's patchouli soap.

  30. #24
    Squire IndridCold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zora View Post
    Oh, holy hell ... it's a really scary clown avatar.

    It could only be creepier if the clown is also a midget.
    How do you know he's not?

    Dude actually gets around using only his considerable maw o' teeth. He has a bit of an overbite, just juts that face out there and scoots.

    He's not actually a dwarf, he's just missing his arms and legs. The folks at the circus tell me he lost them fondling one of the lions.

    I could handle all that, I just find my clown avatar's taste in neoprene bodysuits with the arm and leg holes sewn shut even more disturbing than his toothy visage.

    Hee. I used the word visage.

    Maybe I need to go to bed now.

  31. #25
    Squire IndridCold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maryhaze View Post
    way cool, i can give you the name of a clown that i'd like to see beat to death. he's why i can't make hippie's patchouli soap.
    Send that fucker my way. Gimme a minute to change into my flats, though. Indrid Cold can't bludgeon a bitch (in the non-gender specific sense of the word) with a brick-filled patent leather clutch unless Indrid has his flats on.

    Indrid is going to quit talking in the 3rd person now. It's kinda clown-creepy, after a while.

    You know, another reason I picked that avatar has to do with that old saying from Alice Cooper, "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me." My avatar looks like the clown I useta imagine whenever I heard that line.

  32. #26
    Squire IndridCold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by What Would Satan Do View Post
    Being the Father Of All Lies, I take being lied to as a compliment!
    so...
    Welcome IC!

    Voracious reader?
    Varied musical taste?
    [as]?
    Awesome!

    (so long as you like the good [as] not the anime [as]...well except Big O, Big O kicks ass!)
    So what are your favorite [as] shows?
    Howdy, O Bringer of Light.

    I get queasy the moment anime hits the screen on AS. Even though my oldest son likes anime and draws it exceedingly well, it now only reminds me of a cannibal killer I once researched. Guy had a fetish for anime, manga, hentai.

    My favorite AS shows are many and sometimes change -- ATHF, Tim & Eric (I do realize they are loathed by some), Metalocalypse... oh, I fucking LOVE Squidbillies. No one knows that Squidbillies is some of the most dead-on cultural satire ever put into a cartoon format. I like Moral Orel, Boondocks, the Oblongs, still like the Brak Show and Space Ghost Coast to Coast. I once worked with Eddie, the guy who did some of the music for some of these shows, and he was incredible. And pretty nucking futty.

    In holy darkness,

    IC

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  34. #27
    Grand Knight maryhaze's Avatar
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    dude, flats or pumps i'll give you a complimentary blowjob!!!!!! one of my parrots is named Zorak. the lone locust of the apocolypse. & alice rocks the fuckin universe..........

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  36. #28
    Grand Knight Angel's Avatar
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    Welcome! Be sure to write a story about a cussing Angel, and the evil people she smites with her flaming sword......er, tongue.....ummm, you know what I mean. Glad to have you here.

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  38. #29
    Squire IndridCold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maryhaze View Post
    dude, flats or pumps i'll give you a complimentary blowjob!!!!!! one of my parrots is named Zorak. the lone locust of the apocolypse. & alice rocks the fuckin universe..........
    ZOIKS, Raggie! And complimentary, no less. Tito, hand me a tissue, I think I'm coming down with a case of the vapors! :D

  39. #30
    Squire IndridCold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angel View Post
    Welcome! Be sure to write a story about a cussing Angel, and the evil people she smites with her flaming sword......er, tongue.....ummm, you know what I mean. Glad to have you here.
    All right now, how the hell did you know the plot of my first full-length work of fiction? A guy can't even write a novel anymore.. ;)

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