Sarah Haines goes to WA State to get hitched, leaves 12 y.o. home alone for 6 days

[Ravyn1965]

Mount Olive, NJ - Before Sarah Haines of Morris County embarked on a cross-country flight to get married to her boyfriend in the state of Washington, a neighbor said she stocked up on food and supplies for her 12-year-old daughter — who she left alone for the next six days.

Haines, 31, of the Flanders section of Mount Olive, was arrested Thursday night and charged with second-degree endangerment, according to an arrest affidavit filed in Superior Court in Morristown.

"She flew off to marry a guy in Washington state," said Haines’ next-door neighbor Sharon Bruin. "I think it’s crazy and awful and disgusting" that Haines left her daughter home alone for a week.

Before the girl went to school on June 3, Haines told her she would be leaving at noon to get married. When the girl came home that afternoon, Haines, a single parent who has sole custody of the child, was gone, according to the affidavit.

Her daughter found $10, "plenty of food and drinks" to take care of herself and three pet dogs, and a note from her mother saying a friend would be checking on her, the affidavit said.

Haines had told her daughter she’d return by Sunday, June 6, but last weekend, Haines contacted her daughter and said her return flight was canceled, forcing her to take a bus home, the affidavit said. The friend checked on the girl on June 5, 7 and 8, but the girl "cared for herself and the family dogs while left alone," the affidavit states. The girl also "had been afraid to shower because she was scared since the front door unlocks itself," according to the affidavit.

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Source

Something tells me that the neighbor quoted in the article dropped the dime. I'm not sure where I fall with this, but it does strike me odd that the Mom would go get married without having her daughter there to witness the union. I wonder if she told her new man she has a child. If he didn't know before, he sure knows now.

[MissKerosene]

OMG I know this woman!!! I used to play with her as a kid and have sleep overs and get into all sorts of trouble. FFS I thought I would never see the day.

I haven't seen this woman in at least 14 years but I do know she was a wild child when we were young and came from a very strict religious family. I had no idea she had a child.

Regardless this is shocking and she is an irresponsible idiot! To be honest tho from what I remember her as it seems not much has changed.

[Ravyn1965]

I live near the area. When I went to get my hair cut last Saturday, it was the talk of the salon, lol.

The reason I'm kind of on the fence with this is because A) The kid is 12 B) She left her plenty of food C) She had an adult checking up on her.

What gets me though is that her reasons for being gone were to get married. If it were me, I'd want my daughter at the wedding, not 3,000 miles away sitting home alone. That's why I'm wondering if her new man knew she had a daughter.

[AngelFire]

The girl also "had been afraid to shower because she was scared since the front door unlocks itself," according to the affidavit.

Sounds to me that this mom is pretty much a fuck up.

[Ravyn1965]

Sounds to me that this mom is pretty much a fuck up.

No argument from me there.

[Obsolete]

I was left alone plenty of times when I was that age. Her mom made sure she had everything she needed and had someone checking on her.

I know all kids are different and I think it all boils down to the maturity level of the 12 yr old. My daughter would have been perfectly fine staying by herself for a week at that age (not that I would have let her), my sisters daughter wouldn't have been.

My kid just turned 14 and I let her stay home for the weekend by herself for the first time. She had everything she needed and both neighbors on each side were watching out for her. She knew she could stay at their houses if she got scared at night (which she didn't) and she was just fine.

A week is a bit longer than I would have been comfortable with but I think people are pretty much making a bigger deal out of this than necessary.

[biteme]

Why does everyone think this so irresponsible, but sending a 16 year old off in the middle of the ocean for weeks alone in a small boat OK?
I'm sure the 12 year old has been trained to eat since she was born and is probably very efficient at it, more so than like the 16 year old world ocean crossing little girl is at sailing

[Obsolete]

Why does everyone think this so irresponsible, but sending a 16 year old off in the middle of the ocean for weeks alone in a small boat OK?
I'm sure the 12 year old has been trained to eat since she was born and is probably very efficient at it, more so than like the 16 year old world ocean crossing little girl is at sailing

[AngelFire]

Me personally, I don't agree with either one. I would not allow my 16 year old to sail around the world alone, and wouldn't leave my 12 year old alone at home either.

[Ravyn1965]

The only thing that's sticking with me is that she left her kid at home to go across the country to get married. Why leave your kid at home for an important event like that?

I don't think she's so irresponsible as "OMG, hang the bitch!" I do think, however, she should have done something about that front lock before she went off to tie the knot with her internet Romeo so that her kid could feel safe taking a damned shower.

There was a similar story in the same area about 2-3 years ago. In that case, the kid was 13. Her "Mom" was living at a boyfriend's house in another town for months. She would come by every so often and give her daughter a few bucks, otherwise the kid wouldn't hear a thing from her. When the daughter had no money, she went a put a pizza on the tab at the pizza joint they were living above. When the tab started getting a bit much, the pizza joint owner started questioning the kid, who became all flustered. The owner then notified the cops that something wasn't right.

When the cops showed up, they found the girl living alone, no food in the house and the electricity cut off. The reason this went on so long is that the kid faithfully reported to school every day and gave no impression to school staff that something was wrong.

Her "Mom's" excuse for this? She was behind on rent and didn't want to deal with the landlord. She was arrested for child abandonment and he daughter was sent to live with her ex-husband. The ex lived in another state and the child spent the summers with him. He said he called every weekend to talk to his daughter and she gave him no clue that she was there alone and in such dire straights.

[MissKerosene]

I have to say that my initial response was more shock over the fact that I knew this woman as a child. She was a good friend then although as I said a wild child, not to mention it is weird to see a place I know so very well on DD.

Regardless I do not think she intended any evil on this child, is it irresponsible in my view??? Well yes, considering the selfish reason and the fact at 12 she is a prime target for predators IMO. But at the end of the day I don't wish to see her crucified only that she is taught a lesson and helped to be a more reliable,adult parent to this wee girl. As I said it has been at the very least 14 years since I have spoken to Sarah but she wasn't a horrible person just a "wild child" as I stated earlier. I am sure we have both changed a hell of a lot to when we knew each other.

And to me 12 and 16 is a world of difference in terms of responsibility and self preservation. I am not saying there aren't 12 year olds very capable of caring for themselves for a week but she is still a wee girl. The law is the law and she has broken the law and put her child at risk. So in my eyes it is in the hands of the law now.

[Obsolete]

The laws must be very different in NJ than it is here, this wouldn't be against the law in Oregon.

[Ravyn1965]

MOUNT OLIVE — Bail was reduced today for a Mount Olive woman accused of leaving her 12-year-old daughter home alone for six days while she went away across the country to get married.

Sarah Haines, 31, of the Flanders section of the township, was charged Thursday with second-degree child endangerment after authorities learned she had left her daughter home alone for a week beginning on June 3, when she flew off to the state of Washington to marry her boyfriend, authorities have said.

Haines, whose bail initially was set at $100,000, was being held in the Morris County jail. During a bail hearing today in Superior Court in Morristown, Morris County Assistant Prosecutor and defense attorney Thomas Fischer agreed to ask Judge Philip Maenza to lower the bail to $10,000. Maenza agreed and reduced the bail to that amount.

“This is a defendant who recklessly abandoned her child and abdicated her parental responsibility,” said Rodriguez, noting there also were “prior incidents where this defendant left the child home with other people (to care for the girl) and left the area for long periods of time."

However, Rodriguez said Haines has no prior criminal record, and there was no prior involvement by the state Division of Youth and Family Services with Haines.

DYFS became involved last week after learning the girl was alone, and now is handling all matters regarding placement and custody of the girl, Rodriguez told the judge. A DYFS hearing on the Haines case that was closed to the public also was scheduled to be held today in Superior Court in Morristown.

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Source

[eracsurfer]

OMG I know this woman!!! I used to play with her as a kid and have sleep overs and get into all sorts of trouble. FFS I thought I would never see the day.

I haven't seen this woman in at least 14 years but I do know she was a wild child when we were young and came from a very strict religious family. I had no idea she had a child.

Regardless this is shocking and she is an irresponsible idiot! To be honest tho from what I remember her as it seems not much has changed.

Wait a minute MK... You know this woman? Doesn't that mean that you are OBLIGATED to post that we should keep our comments to ourselves and that we don't know the whole story...etc. ?

Now I am all confused. I mean after all of them that said "What if it was someone you knew", weren't you supposed to be a hypocrit and stand up for her stupidity?

[redsaid]

Wait a minute MK... You know this woman? Doesn't that mean that you are OBLIGATED to post that we should keep our comments to ourselves and that we don't know the whole story...etc. ?

Now I am all confused. I mean after all of them that said "What if it was someone you knew", weren't you supposed to be a hypocrit and stand up for her stupidity?

[redsaid]

Sounds to me that this mom is pretty much a fuck up.

I don't even take a shower without my husband home. It freaks me out. I really have to force myself to relax if he's not there to watch the front door.

I wouldn't do this, leave her alone all that time. She may have been a very good girl and mature enough to take care of herself. But the feeling of being abandoned is terrible.
Why doesn't mommy want me there.....

[MissKerosene]

Wait a minute MK... You know this woman? Doesn't that mean that you are OBLIGATED to post that we should keep our comments to ourselves and that we don't know the whole story...etc. ?

Now I am all confused. I mean after all of them that said "What if it was someone you knew", weren't you supposed to be a hypocrit and stand up for her stupidity?

Say what you like baby doll. Facts are facts and I am not one to rain on anyone's parade. Have fun kiddo's!!!!!!!!!!! Just because I knew her doesnt excuse her behavior or crimes. So yeah yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tundratot]

This was a stupid and selfish action on Ms. Haines' part. I agree she probably was concealing her daughter from her fiance. I also think she may have gone farther, if this little sojourn had worked out, and left her daughter alone for quite a long time before reuniting as a family.

I don't think a 12 year old is too young to be left alone in the house for a while, like hours, but not overnight. It's encouraging that she did leave plenty of food and a neighbor to watch out for the girl, but the girl was clearly unprepared for the responsibility and the emotional strength to be alone. She didn't know how to take care of the dogs, apparently. If she was afraid to shower because of the door, the house was not secure and neither was she. Can you imagine her fright at night alone with a door that unlatches itself? Even as a fully grown adult, it took me some time to get used to living alone in a house. I can't imagine how callous this mother was not to even consider her daughter's fears as she left her for days.

[MC30]

that lady better thank god i wasn't her 12 year old. i would have told her to take the last bus out, and it would have been party city....i was a bad kid.

[Dakota Valkyrie]

A Flanders woman pleaded guilty today to child neglect to resolve a charge of leaving her 12-year-old daughter home alone for a week while she traveled to Idaho to get married.

Sarah Haines, 31, admitted before Superior Court Judge David Ironson in Morristown to a civil violation that technically is equivalent to a fourth-degree crime. Morris County Assistant Prosecutor Meg Rodriguez has recommended that Haines be sentenced on Feb. 25 to probation for three years and ordered to follow all rules imposed by the state Division of Youth and Family Services.

Under questioning by defense lawyer Thomas Fischer, Haines admitted she left her Mount Olive home on June 3 and failed to provide adequate care and supervision to her 12-year-old daughter in her seven-day absence.

Haines declined comment after her plea but Fischer said Haines had made arrangements with a friend to care for or look after her daughter but the girl wound up staying alone at her own home most of the time her mother was gone.

The newly-married Haines has since given birth to another child. DYFS has returned the now-13-year-old to her care but has put family resources in place, Fischer said.
[...]

http://www.dailyrecord.com/article/2...rried-in-Idaho

Fischer said there was “a lot of misunderstanding” about the case.

When Haines left the state, “She had a friend the daughter was supposed to stay with. The friend let her down,” the attorney said.

Fischer said the daughter stayed with the friend “for part of the weekend,” but the friend then “took her home and dropped her off.”

“It was an inadequate arrangement and it fell apart,” he said.

Haines pleaded guilty “to close this chapter,” Fischer said. “It was a fair resolution.”

Morris County Prosecutor Robert Bianchi commented, "We believe this plea strikes the balance for punishing this conduct, but also puts into place services to ensure the child's safety and mother's rehabilitation. While the mother's conduct was extremely reckless, it is also true that thankfully no serious harm happened to the child."

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/201...its_to_le.html