Tonya Odom Mom of 9 Charged With Leaving Tot Alone

**Whisper** · May 26th, 2010, 11:14 PM

BRIDGEPORT -- A 37-year-old mother of nine was arrested Wednesday after her child was found wandering alone in a city park and she didn't realize he was missing until late the next morning, police said.
Tonya Odom, of Kelsey Street, was charged with risk of injury to a minor, a felony, after she arrived at police headquarters to report her 3-year-old son missing roughly 16 hours after another mother found him alone in an East End park and called police, said Sgt. Roberto Melendez, head of the Bridgeport Police Youth Bureau.
Police said an interview with Odom indicated that one of her older daughters, she has several in their teens and three at least 18, took the younger children to the Tisdale School playground near their home and returned, apparently without doing a head count and missing the youngest.
Fortunately, a day-care worker from Hall Neighborhood House, who was at the playground Tuesday with her own children, noticed that everyone was leaving around 7:30 p.m., "and no one was leaving with him," Melendez said.
After waiting with the child for roughly half an hour, "she finally realized the parents weren't coming back and decided to call the police," he said.
Odom was sleeping when her children returned from the park. She awoke early to take another child to a doctor's appointment and realized the tot wasn't home when she returned about 11 a.m., Melendez said. He said that, although the mother had trusted her son to the care of his siblings, she is ultimately responsible for his well-being.
The toddler was taken Tuesday night to St. Vincent's Medical Center for evaluation, and is now in the custody of the state Department of Children and Families. The DCF is investigating.
The boy was clean and well dressed, and appeared healthy, police said.
[...]
She is five months pregnant with a 10th child, police said.
"Nice kid," said Melendez, who was awoken and called in to work at 11 p.m. to try to find the child's parents. "What if somebody grabbed him? ... (Some parents) don't realize the danger. They don't remember the cries of these parents who maybe just looked away for a second ... just one second and then you never see your child again."

http://www.greenwichtime.com/policer...one-501554.php

**this is going badly** · May 27th, 2010, 02:05 AM

I considered taking the "it could happen to anyone" approch to this one but the thing is this breed sow decided to have nine (actually 10) kids but then she expectes them to take care of each other while she gets in an (early evening) nap and who know what else. She is robbing her children of a childhood. I don't care if the oldest kid should have been more responsible. He isn't the one popping our a kid ever year or two and he should be doing NORMAL things that normal kids get to do, not babysitting 24/7.

**Dakota Valkyrie** · May 27th, 2010, 06:42 AM

Originally Posted by this is going badly

I considered taking the "it could happen to anyone" approch to this one but the thing is this breed sow decided to have nine (actually 10) kids but then she expectes them to take care of each other while she gets in an (early evening) nap and who know what else. She is robbing her children of a childhood. I don't care if the oldest kid should have been more responsible. He isn't the one popping our a kid ever year or two and he should be doing NORMAL things that normal kids get to do, not babysitting 24/7.

Sorry, I disagree. As a child of a large family (and married to a man from a family of 10 kids) from a community where large families are common, I can attest that you don't get robbed of your childhood. Your childhood is different than that of small families, but it is still a viable and fun filled childhood.

The issue here is poor parenting. Hundreds of cases here on D'D prove that parents can do a piss poor job no matter how many kids they have.

**TheMeaningOfItAll** · May 27th, 2010, 07:23 AM

The issue for me isn't mainly that the toddler was forgotten (although horrible, ask many kids of large families and they usually have a story about one member being left or forgotten at some point)...I'm mostly upset about the time line. She didn't notice the kid was missing for 16 hours!!! At best, that is neglect. If you can't notice that your child is missing, maybe you shouldn't be popping more out!

**seductress** · May 27th, 2010, 08:00 AM

No matter how many children you have, you have choices to make and all family member need to help with everything, that's called being a family.
When you trust your older children to take care of the younger children, you check in with them and make sure that all are doing well and all are accounted for. This is lazy parenting plain and simple. She is very, very lucky nothing serious happened to this little boy.

**koochie** · May 27th, 2010, 08:25 AM

Originally Posted by TheMeaningOfItAll

The issue for me isn't mainly that the toddler was forgotten (although horrible, ask many kids of large families and they usually have a story about one member being left or forgotten at some point)...I'm mostly upset about the time line. She didn't notice the kid was missing for 16 hours!!! At best, that is neglect. If you can't notice that your child is missing, maybe you shouldn't be popping more out!

i totally agree.... as a mother your job is to make sure your kids are safe and fed and in their beds at night...this lazy slob was sleeping from 7:30 until the next morning never once checking on the little ones? what the hell is wrong with her.

**Cholita** · May 27th, 2010, 07:10 PM

10 kids! Gawd damn!

**redsaid** · May 27th, 2010, 08:59 PM

Daddy(s) where are you? (in a sing song voice)

**revenge** · May 27th, 2010, 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by Dakota Valkyrie

Sorry, I disagree. As a child of a large family (and married to a man from a family of 10 kids) from a community where large families are common, I can attest that you don't get robbed of your childhood. Your childhood is different than that of small families, but it is still a viable and fun filled childhood.

The issue here is poor parenting. Hundreds of cases here on D'D prove that parents can do a piss poor job no matter how many kids they have.

exactly. how much time passed before she even realized he was gone?! as a mother that is unfathomable. large families can be a blessing but i think the ability to have children sometimes should really require a license.

my god.

**this is going badly** · May 28th, 2010, 03:15 AM

Originally Posted by Dakota Valkyrie

Sorry, I disagree. As a child of a large family (and married to a man from a family of 10 kids) from a community where large families are common, I can attest that you don't get robbed of your childhood. Your childhood is different than that of small families, but it is still a viable and fun filled childhood.

The issue here is poor parenting. Hundreds of cases here on D'D prove that parents can do a piss poor job no matter how many kids they have.

I grew up in a large family and on a farm to boot. I am not talking about the responsibility of membership in a large family or normal helping, or chores or even baby sitting. But I know for sure that my (foster)mom never took a nap, I doubt it would even have occured to her! She worked very hard (they BOTH did) and by her example (not by her expectation) we learned to work hard as well.

As I said, I did read this and came back to comment after it "stewed" for a while.

I have had more than one foster child who had far to much responsibility and duty and was expected to "pick up the slack" for parents who did nothing but slack.

This woman was "napping" at 7:30PM. She is pregnaant and I get that she iwas tired. But who feed, bathed and put the kids to bed? I suspect that there was lots of fending for youself going on in this home, meaning no family table dinners, no baths. And on this night apparently no tooth brushing, or bed time stories or tucking in either...Otherwise wouldn't an absent toddler be MISSED by someone? Did she get up at some point to eat and watch TV? I bet she did. DId she look in on her kids? She did not even check in on them in the morning before she left the house. She did not know her baby was missing for 18 hours.

Parents make mistakes. I make plenty myself. I am not usually a hard ass but this really sounds like the older kids are taking care of the younger kids 24/7 and I really think it is unfair (and slovenly) to do this. Strongly enough to come back and explain my thinking further.

**VXIII** · May 24th, 2011, 12:10 AM

Originally Posted by redsaid

Daddy(s) where are you? (in a sing song voice)

Like in the movie classic Warriors, come out and playyay....

**Silvahalo** · May 24th, 2011, 12:49 AM

A 37-year-old mother of nine was arrested Wednesday after her child was found wandering alone in a city park and she didn't realize he was missing until late the next morning, police said.

Could hardly get past this part. 9 kids and one one the way.....didn't notice her tot was missing 'till next day at 11am....fuckity hell. I'm all for family helping one another, it's all good for siblings to help with the littles I did it, mini-mom (but that's another post), but another thing all together to leave the duty and the expectations of a child(ren) to parent.
NO way, not a chance I'd go to bed no matter how damn tired and not check in on my child. To me that speaks of the mother leaving far to much responsibility on a child caring for the siblings, when it's her duty first and foremost to make sure all are cared fore, clean, feed, tucked in bed and not fucking missing. just my .02.

glad baby was found by a concerned person and not a vile fuck.

**Robynne** · May 24th, 2011, 01:20 AM

I still want to know about daddy. Where the hell is he? Why in the fuck is she on her 10th kid? Is there a daddy? Or is this a case of...
She got pregnant, and daddy didn't step up. So, it's off to find a new daddy, and then got pregnant again, and 2nd daddy took off, so off to find another new daddy, etc.
Or, one night stand after one night stand resulted in 9 children, one on the way, and who knows if there have been any miscarriages.

Police said an interview with Odom indicated that one of her older daughters, she has several in their teens and three at least 18

It sounds as if she started young.

**misssmartypants** · May 24th, 2011, 04:24 PM

At the time I was 37, my daughter was 20, and my son 17. There is nothing wrong with that. I had them young myself, but I also didnt keep pooping kids out over and over again. There are people who love children, and love a large family. They are usually prepped for it, and good for them. Maybe she thought along the lines of the Duggers, who transfer responsibility of the youngest to the oldest. But thats ok for them cause they're married, right? And she might not be? I know it wasnt right that the little guy was left behind, but it sounds as if mom had alot going on in her household. She should have kept a better eye, and is in despair, Im sure. The kid was clean, well dressed and healthy. Amazing. Just lost in the fray.

**KyFyre** · May 24th, 2011, 04:55 PM

Ya know, I'm all for people having big families if that is their desire and they can afford it. But, in this case it sounds like the mother has more responsibility than she can handle on her own. It's fine to allow older siblings to babysit - I babysat a lot from the age 11 and up and it wasn't just my siblings that I kept, but as others have pointed out this particular mother had no idea she was even missing a child for nearly a full day and it COULD have had terrible consequences.

What if instead of someone who obviously loves kids enough to work with them had not found this baby? What if a pedo or lunatic of another variety had found the child?

Would mom be any less responsible had something bad happened to the little one if that had happened just because she had entrusted the child's care to their older sibling?

I'm grateful that the baby is safe and sound, but this is one mom that sounds to be ill equipped to be having more and more children. Not everyone can be the family from "19 and Counting" who while the parents DO depend on their older children to help out, the parents still know where each of their children are at every moment. Sure its fun to have a lot of siblings but, if mom can't even be bothered to notice one is missing, it's probably a safe bet that her choice to keep having more children is going to cost some - if not all - of her children in big ways.