Smell the blood! Andrew Whiteman says he's a 100-year-old vampire

**Dakota Valkyrie** · April 21st, 2010, 07:00 PM

A Michigan man found staggering outside a Drug Mart at 3 a.m. Saturday apparently wasn’t looking to shop, he was looking for blood.

Andrew Whiteman, 21, of Royal Oak, Mich., told Lorain County sheriff’s deputies he was a vampire who can smell blood. He also threatened to kill one of the deputies and his children, and also said he would live forever, according to a sheriff’s office report.
[...]

While being taken to the Lorain County Jail, Whiteman began to tell the deputies that the two of them were in trouble because they didn’t know he was actually a 100-year-old vampire and could smell their blood from the back seat of the patrol car.

Deputies had noticed Whiteman trying to gain entry into the store by kicking and pulling on the doors, according to the report. When deputies approached Whiteman, they noticed he was extremely intoxicated and had slurred speech and bloodshot eyes, the report said.

He recently came to the area to apply for fall classes at Oberlin College, according to the report.

When deputies asked what he was doing there, the only thing he stated was the owners of the store had told him if he’d bring them business, they would help him, but he couldn’t elaborate any further, according to the report. Whiteman was muddy and completely soaked from head to toe when deputies arrested him.

Whiteman had to be forced out of the patrol car once they arrived to the county jail and he continued to be irate and unruly throughout the entire booking process. He also told a female corrections officer at the jail that he wanted to eat her kidney, the report said.

Because of his behavior, Whiteman had to be placed in a four-point restraint chair.

http://www.morningjournal.com/articl.../mj2629571.txt

Does a four-point restraint chair work on a vampire?

**ImmortalOne** · April 21st, 2010, 07:33 PM

Lmao
roflmao
hahahahaha

**Aslan** · April 21st, 2010, 07:44 PM

Why is it that people who pretend to be vampires or warlocks are for the most part hideous to look at?
Notice:
FOLKS WHO RUN VAMPIRE/WARLOCK GROUPS: please recruit attractive people.

xoxo
Aslan

**LadyCygnet** · April 21st, 2010, 08:41 PM

Andrew Whiteman, 21, of Royal Oak, Mich., told Lorain County sheriff’s deputies he was a vampire who can smell blood.

And I say he's a 21 year-old nutbar.

**Dakota Valkyrie** · April 21st, 2010, 08:46 PM

Originally Posted by LadyCygnet

And I say he's a 21 year-old nutbar.

If a vampire smells blood, does a nutbar smell nuts? He could get arrested for that, too.

**CasperGirl** · April 21st, 2010, 08:50 PM

Hmmmm wonder if that other crazy ass vampire that was running for public office will come to defend one of his his his his errrmmmmmmm sheep? flock? What the hell is the word I am looking for. Oh hell nevermind.

**Valasca** · April 21st, 2010, 08:51 PM

Originally Posted by Dakota Valkyrie

Does a four-point restraint chair work on a vampire?

Only when you attach garlic to each point.

**Siobhan** · April 22nd, 2010, 08:38 AM

Originally Posted by CasperGirl

Hmmmm wonder if that other crazy ass vampire that was running for public office will come to defend one of his his his his errrmmmmmmm sheep? flock? What the hell is the word I am looking for. Oh hell nevermind.

"Fellow Nutbar"?

**lisaznola** · April 22nd, 2010, 09:24 AM

Damn, seems like another night at the Dungeon.

Dumb asses.
I actually know a couple people like this *giggles*. One is actually a cardiac researcher at Tulane!!!! She gives herself plasma I.V.'s because her vampire boyfriend (who no one sees, even her) drains her at night!
Another plans on getting married in a cemetery to a pirate! Yes, a vampire is going to marry a pirate in a cemetery! They have to break in since all NOLA cemeteries are closed at dusk, but, hey, what fun is a wedding without a few arrests?

Hey they are always fun to point and laugh at.

**Saffron** · April 22nd, 2010, 10:00 AM

Also, 100 years ago, men didn't wear their hair like that and few were clean shaven so how'd he grow his hair and maintain his baby ass face? I'd have given him a little more credit if he'd said he was a 200-300 year old vampire from the english or french nobility... they'd have longer hair and be clean shaven otherwise... duh.

I was chased around for awhile by a group of "vampires" about 20 years ago when I was doing research at the Cincinnati Public Library's old book collection for a book I was planning to write. They finally surrounded me in the elevator and asked me if I wanted to be like them and live forever... nut jobs.