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Thread: Naked neighbour "put me off men & sausages", says a Fugly Denise Woodage

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    Great Regent Tazzzz's Avatar
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    Naked neighbour "put me off men & sausages", says a Fugly Denise Woodage

    Denise Woodage



    LoL, like she ever had a chance at finding a man. Good thing I wasnt on that jury, I would have busted a gut over that one.


    The victim of garden pervert Paul Darlow – who told a court he had put her off men and sausages for life – has told how she still suffers flashbacks. Denise Woodage saw oddball Darlow pleasuring himself in his back garden in Churchwood Walk, Calcot, and frequently spotted him going about his chores naked – save for a pair of boots.

    Naked gardener 'puts neighbour off sausages'

    Darlow faced trial at Reading Crown Court after denying indecent exposure with intent to cause alarm or distress but was convicted last Friday. He was jailed for six weeks.

    The 54-year-old, who is mum to Hazel, 26, told the Post she was now anti-men as a result of seeing Darlow’s “pale and hairy” body in the November chill and is now on anti-depressants.

    Mrs Woodage, who does not work, first saw the 53-year-old flashing in March 2008. She complained to police and they installed CCTV. In November 2008 – after capturing Darlow on film flashing his bits yet again – he was arrested and charged with indecent exposure.

    He initially denied the incidents but during his trial, before Judge Zoë Smith, he confessed to touching himself outdoors. However, he claimed he did not realise Mrs Woodage could see his actions and he did not intend to cause her distress – a claim the jury did not believe.

    Mrs Woodage told the Post: “I am now on anti-depressants and also sleeping tablets – this has really affected me. There are not many houses in this street and [there are] a lot of children. I would’ve hated for them to see Darlow flashing.

    I didn’t even know his name when I first saw him but I was horrified. I couldn’t believe it. “He looks younger than he is and he was well-endowed and really hairy. “It has put me off men.

    “Initially I didn’t think anyone would believe me. When it happened again I raced over to my neighbour’s house – I didn’t want to go to another neighbour as he has a poor heart and I was worried about the shock. This has affected me so much. I do not like going out now. He has been given a jail sentence but I have received a life sentence.”

    Sarah Darlow, Darlow’s wife, told the Post yesterday: “I stuck by him throughout the case but now I have left him. He obviously needs help and he said he is willing to get it.”

    Darlow was also given a Sexual Offences Prohibition Order which will run indefinitely and prohibits him from exposing his genitals in front of members of the public. And he was ordered to sign the Sexual Offenders’ Register for seven years
    http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/s/2...put_me_off_men
    Some people are like Slinkies. They aren’t really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to my face when I push them down a flight of stairs.

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    Pickle Me Jaded Jaded's Avatar
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    “I am now on anti-depressants and also sleeping tablets – this has really affected me.
    Initially I didn’t think anyone would believe me. When it happened again I raced over to my neighbour’s house – I didn’t want to go to another neighbour as he has a poor heart and I was worried about the shock. This has affected me so much. I do not like going out now. He has been given a jail sentence but I have received a life sentence.
    OMFG. Put her out of my misery...
    "Never make a decision when you need to pee."
    --Leonard Cohen (Beautiful Losers)

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    Happily Unhinged
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    he was well-endowed and really hairy. “It has put me off men.
    Those aren't necessarily two things that put me off men. (unless his hairy back melted into his ass)

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    Super Bowl XLV Champions! MichaelJCheaney's Avatar
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    Something tells me there is no man alive that would want her anywhere near their sausage.....

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    blurts with aplomb petrina's Avatar
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    see i think that if we "expose" the public to more nudity, then ladies like mrs weinerschnitzel would not be so freaked when they see the occasional hairy penis.

    an ounce of prevention ... or is that a few inches of it anyways.

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    Super Bowl XLV Champions! MichaelJCheaney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by petrina View Post
    see i think that if we "expose" the public to more nudity, then ladies like mrs weinerschnitzel would not be so freaked when they see the occasional hairy penis.

    an ounce of prevention ... or is that a few inches of it anyways.
    Hairy Peni are the problem petrina......I mean lets face it I don't know too many women that actually like seeing a hairy penis....which is why I :ahem: manscape......

    besides I suspect mrs weinerschnitzel is either a lesbian or a virgin.....

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    Habitual Line Stepper dmax's Avatar
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    That mugshot is a good cure for bestiality. Has worked for me, anyhow!
    "When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it became optional. I'm getting out before Obama makes it mandatory."
    ~ Gy.Sgt. Harry Berres, USMC ~

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    Super Bowl XLV Champions! MichaelJCheaney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dmax View Post
    That mugshot is a good cure for bestiality. Has worked for me, anyhow!
    A good cure?

    It might end up being a cause.......

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    Quote Originally Posted by MichaelJCheaney View Post
    A good cure?

    It might end up being a cause.......
    Absolutely.

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    Habitual Line Stepper dmax's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MichaelJCheaney View Post
    A good cure?

    It might end up being a cause.......
    If you say you wouldn't hit that, Cheaney, you're a liar! You obviously have no good taste in women.
    "When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it became optional. I'm getting out before Obama makes it mandatory."
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    Why is everyone focusing on her looks? For god's sake, she's a victim here.

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    Habitual Line Stepper dmax's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thinkgoat View Post
    Why is everyone focusing on her looks? For god's sake, she's a victim here.
    Thank you.
    "When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it became optional. I'm getting out before Obama makes it mandatory."
    ~ Gy.Sgt. Harry Berres, USMC ~

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    blurts with aplomb petrina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MichaelJCheaney View Post
    I mean lets face it I don't know too many women that actually like seeing a hairy penis...
    hey, i am an equal opportunity penis lover. and... stubble creeps me out.

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    Super Bowl XLV Champions! MichaelJCheaney's Avatar
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    I bet she BROKE every penis she ever climbed on......

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    Super Bowl XLV Champions! MichaelJCheaney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by petrina View Post
    hey, i am an equal opportunity penis lover. and... stubble creeps me out.
    No stubble here......

    Obviously you have been dating the wrong kind of guys.....

  16. #16
    Super Bowl XLV Champions! MichaelJCheaney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dmax View Post
    If you say you wouldn't hit that, Cheaney, you're a liar! You obviously have no good taste in women.
    I'd hit that....

    With a 2 by 4.....
    Last edited by MichaelJCheaney; September 4th, 2009 at 04:31 PM.

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    Great Baron jus shaking my head's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thinkgoat View Post
    Why is everyone focusing on her looks? For god's sake, she's a victim here.
    She wasn't "so-called" famous? No fake boobs?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin

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    Marshal Tassa's Avatar
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    She has a 26 year old daughter -- I'm pretty sure she's seen a penis before (unless she had an IVF baby). Give me a fucking break!

  19. #19
    Super Bowl XLV Champions! MichaelJCheaney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tassa View Post
    She has a 26 year old daughter -- I'm pretty sure she's seen a penis before (unless she had an IVF baby). Give me a fucking break!
    She may have seen a penis before.

    But I'm betting she had no idea what to do with it......

  20. #20
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    I had a guy flash me once and i yelled at him "GIMME SOME OF THAT!"

    He covered up and left. This woman has no imagination.

    Annnddd...........

    I still like penis.
    Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with obedience, jealousy nor fear. It is there most pure, perfect, and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. - Percy Byshe Shelley

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    Habitual Line Stepper dmax's Avatar
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    Eenie meenie miney dirge...I think these two threads should merge!

    "When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it became optional. I'm getting out before Obama makes it mandatory."
    ~ Gy.Sgt. Harry Berres, USMC ~

  22. #22
    Regent cubby's Avatar
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    Her 15 seconds of fame and nothing more. I can understand being shocked to see a neighbor wandering about nekkid but to be put on anti-depressants because of it....give me a break!!

    It would be the funniest thing I'd seen in awhile.

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    Imagine the poor hairy hung guy having to go through life knowing someone like her had been obsessing over him. He's the one who needs medication

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