Vatican Adds Seven New Deadly Sins

[Unamused Cat]

ROME — Drug pushers, the obscenely rich, environmental polluters and “manipulative” genetic scientists beware — you may be in danger of losing your mortal soul unless you repent.

After 1,500 years the Vatican has brought the seven deadly sins up to date by adding seven new ones for the age of globalization. The list, published yesterday in L’Osservatore Romano, the Vatican newspaper, came as the Pope deplored the “decreasing sense of sin” in today’s “secularized world” and the falling numbers of Roman Catholics going to confession.

The new deadly sins include polluting, genetic engineering, being obscenely rich, drug dealing, abortion, pedophilia and causing social injustice.

The Catholic Church divides sins into venial, or less serious, sins and mortal sins, which threaten the soul with eternal damnation unless absolved before death through confession and penitence.

It holds mortal sins to be “grave violations of the Ten Commandments and the Beatitudes,” including murder, contraception, abortion, perjury, adultery and lust.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that “immediately after death the souls of those who die in a state of mortal sin descend into Hell.”

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,336330,00.html

The Original Deadly 7

1. Pride
2. Wrath
3. Lust
4. Gluttony
5. Envy
6. Sloth
7. Greed

21st Century Sinning

1. Genetic Modification
2. Experimenting on Humans
3. Polluting the Environment
4. Causing Social Injustice
5. Causing Poverty
6. Becoming Obscenely Wealthy
7. Taking Drugs

[impqueen]

Nothing on there against raping children, I see.

And the Vatican is so going to hell on the New #6.

[dop]

Huh? I can understand the whole getetic modification, and to an extent human experimentation being new stuff and therefore not adressed beforehand but how are the rest of the five sins "new sins which have appeared on the horizon of humanity as a corollary of the unstoppable process of globalization.” That shit has been going around for centuries, way before the past seven sins were established.

Anyway, more shit for all the hipocrites to brush off in confession and go out feeling smug and do it again.

[Unamused Cat]

I guess I'm going to hell. I better go pick out a handbasket. :p

[TXChris]

I've cornered the market on handbaskets and, as such, will now offer them at 10x their original cost thereby becoming obscenely wealthy. I'll see you there, Unamused. :D

[Rotten Apple]

Well, I've got the original 7 covered and 2 of the new ones.

Only 5 more to go. Better clear my calendar, I think I'll be busy for a while.

[Jaded]

Oh well.....looks like I'm going to hell anyways. I already got the original 7 and a couple of the new ones under my belt. I guess all the cool people will be there when I get there. I won't have to put up with any of the perfect 'holier-than-thou' fucks...yay!

[Miss. Hill]

There is no such place as hell :diablo:! Everyone is a sinner in the eyes of Catholics, all you have to do is ask for forgiveness right before you die and your all good!

[Unamused Cat]

I've cornered the market on handbaskets and, as such, will now offer them at 10x their original cost thereby becoming obscenely wealthy. I'll see you there, Unamused. :D

LOL.. Be sure to bring your cowboy boots. We can do the Texas two-step in hell. :D

[Unamused Cat]

There is no such place as hell :diablo:! Everyone is a sinner in the eyes of Catholics, all you have to do is ask for forgiveness right before you die and your all good!

But the trick is knowing when you are fixin' to die.
:D

[gprime]

1. Genetic Modification

I do not see this as specifying that it must pertain to animals of some sort. So I guess modifying agricultural plants to survive less hospitable landscapes, in an effort to make more food available to the world's poor, is a deadly sin. Nice call.

2. Experimenting on Humans

Experimenting is nice and vague in meaning. I guess we can say goodbye to medical research, as at some point, it becomes tested on humans. Consent doesn't appear to be the issue, nor is this specific towards the unborn. So I guess experimenting with new heart medication that might save lives is automatic damnation. More fine work I see.

3. Polluting the Environment

Polluting is quite a bit less specific than you'd think. I mean anybody who has studied environmental science knows of noise pollution. And there is no question that the annoying mass bells cause exactly that. So I guess it is nice to know they'll be ending that, and finding new ways to draw in members, like reducing the frequency of child molestation.

4. Causing Social Injustice

Affirmative action seems pretty unjust, and helps to foster social tension. So I guess we can write off the entire Democratic party, and liberals all around the globe, as damned eternally. And I mean, establishing a woman as subordinate to her husband, and taking away any rights she might have due to religious reasoning is totally just, so there is no chance of church dogma contradicting this one.

5. Causing Poverty

Well, poverty is a relative term. And anybody not in it can be blamed for it, as there will always be a relative "poor" population, no matter how well off the people generally are. So I guess we can also write off most of the GOP as doomed. Hell, anybody with a job paying over $25,000 is screwed.

And, since ending colonialism, the standards of living have dropped greatly in Africa. Poverty has become more widespread. So anybody who is a citizen of a former colonial power might as well give it up too. Can't fault the Church here.

6. Becoming Obscenely Wealthy

Obviously for being an Atheist, Bill Gates was already going to Hell. And to say otherwise would be blasphemy. But, if he were a Catholic, it is nice to know he'd still never see the pearly gates. After all, $40 billion in charity just isn't enough. That greedy motherfucker only helped millions of people, rather than hundreds of millions of people. This is therefore probably the best one they came up with.

7. Taking Drugs

I had a headache earlier, so I took some asprin. Now I too will live in the dominion of Satan. How awesome is that? All I can say is that Catholics are damn lucky that priests have the magical power needed to turn wine into divine blood, otherwise any Catholic who has ever received communion, or in other words every adult or teenage Catholic who was ever active in the faith, would be done for. That was a close call!

All in all, I cannot possibly see how a good, doctrine-following Christian could have trouble following these basic, logically oriented rules that the Vatican has been issuing for its entire history.

[CPL CHUD]

What's funny is that a few hundred years ago even questioning this could land you imprisonment or worse. I'd laugh if there weren't still people who blindly subscribed to this, but at least the pile of crap is starting to teeter.

[Athena]

FYI -

In case it wasn't noted, these are just standard sins, easily absolved by a priest at confession. Deadly or cardinal sins are what will send you to hell. :)

[skeptical]

Aren't all of these NEW sins pretty much covered in one way or another by the old ones? I mean - "obscenely rich" could easily be covered by greed and glutony. Therfore it all seems a bit redundant to me. Man, at the rate the Pope is going I am going straight to hell with no hope of redemption!

[CPL CHUD]

FYI -

In case it wasn't noted, these are just standard sins, easily absolved by a priest at confession...

...or the flying spaghetti monster.

[impqueen]

Or Ceiling Cat.

[impqueen]

...or the flying spaghetti monster.

Ohhh, i hope he will touch me with His Noodly Appendage!

[Becca]

My, what big balls you have.

[Miss. Hill]

Did god give the direct orders for these new deadly (scary) sins?:p