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Thread: Tard sues "Cap'n Crunch" says she thought "Crunchberries" were real fruit.

  1. #1
    Great Regent Tazzzz's Avatar
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    Tard sues "Cap'n Crunch" says she thought "Crunchberries" were real fruit.



    LoL, how do you say that shit and keep a straight face, anyone who thinks Crunchberries are a real fruit , needs to be taken out back and shot for being so stupid.


    There are days every now and then when my actual legal work directly intersects with my blog work. This is one of those days.

    On May 21, a judge of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed a complaint filed by a woman who said she had purchased "Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries" because she believed "crunchberries" were real fruit. The plaintiff, Janine Sugawara, alleged that she had only recently learned to her dismay that said "berries" were in fact simply brightly-colored cereal balls, and that although the product did contain some strawberry fruit concentrate, it was not otherwise redeemed by fruit. She sued, on behalf of herself and all similarly situated consumers who also apparently believed that there are fields somewhere in our land thronged by crunchberry bushes.

    According to the complaint, Sugawara and other consumers were misled not only by the use of the word "berries" in the name, but also by the front of the box, which features the product's namesake, Cap'n Crunch, aggressively "thrusting a spoonful of 'Crunchberries' at the prospective buyer." Plaintiff claimed that this message was reinforced by other marketing representing the product as a "combination of Crunch biscuits and colorful red, purple, teal and green berries." Yet in actuality, the product contained "no berries of any kind." Plaintiff brought claims for fraud, breach of warranty, and our notorious and ever-popular California Unfair Competition Law and Consumer Legal Remedies Act.

    Under the UCL, courts have held that a plaintiff must show that a representation was "likely to deceive a reasonable consumer." [As a disclaimer, I should tell you that my firm represents defendants in UCL cases (among others).] Actual fraud claims, and warranty claims, are harder to prove, so if Sugawara didn't win on the UCL claims, she would be leaving without even any lovely parting gifts. And she did not:

    In this case . . . while the challenged packaging contains the word "berries" it does so only in conjunction with the descriptive term "crunch." This Court is not aware of, nor has Plaintiff alleged the existence of, any actual fruit referred to as a "crunchberry." Furthermore, the "Crunchberries" depicted on the [box] are round, crunchy, brightly-colored cereal balls, and the [box] clearly states both that the Product contains "sweetened corn & oat cereal" and that the cereal is "enlarged to show texture." Thus, a reasonable consumer would not be deceived into believing that the Product in the instant case contained a fruit that does not exist. . . . So far as this Court has been made aware, there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world.

    The court, Judge Morrison England, Jr., also pointed out that the plaintiff acknowledged in her opposition to the motion to dismiss that "[c]lose inspection [of the box] reveals that Crunchberries . . . are not really berries." Plaintiff did not explain why she could not reasonably have figured this out at any point during the four years she alleged she bought Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries in reliance on defendant's fraud.

    Finally, the court held that while a first-time loser on a motion to dismiss would typically get a chance to amend the complaint, this one wouldn't:


    In this case, . . . it is simply impossible for Plaintiff to file an amended complaint stating a claim based upon these facts. The survival of the instant claim would require this Court to ignore all concepts of personal responsibility and common sense. The Court has no intention of allowing that to happen.
    Case dissmissed.

    Judge England also noted another federal court had "previously rejected substantially similar claims directed against the packaging of Fruit Loops [sic] cereal, and brought by these same Plaintiff attorneys." He found that their attack on "Crunchberries" should fare no better than their prior claims that "Froot Loops" did not contain real froot.
    http://www.loweringthebar.net/2009/0...dge-rules.html
    Some people are like Slinkies. They aren’t really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to my face when I push them down a flight of stairs.

  2. #2
    Great Regent Tazzzz's Avatar
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    Ohh My God , I cant stop laughing. People even sued Froot Loops" cause they didnt contain any real real "froot". Uhh hello it fucking "froot" , you jackass tard.
    Some people are like Slinkies. They aren’t really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to my face when I push them down a flight of stairs.

  3. #3
    Happily Unhinged
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    Flippin' looks like real fruit to me...all perfect and porous like that. Next thing they'll tell me is that eating Lucky Charms will bring forth no luck. That's all I fucking need at a time like this.


    Edit: And I won't go Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs

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    I call Bullshit!
    They must have thought long and hard on who to sue.

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    Grand Marquises
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    It took her 4 years to realise that the crunchberries she was crunching on were not actually 'berries', and that there are no such thing as crunchberries??!!!!!


    Cap'n Crunch, aggressively "thrusting a spoonful of 'Crunchberries' at the prospective buyer."


    OMFG! I need air, cant breathe for laughing!

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    Great Count ~Absynthe~'s Avatar
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    :dohhere's your sign.
    Last edited by ~Absynthe~; June 5th, 2009 at 07:18 PM. Reason: typo
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    DG Jong Il
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    So... you mean... this is why my crunchberry bush never grows??
    TheMorningStar : I hear that my meat always smells damned tasty

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    Super Bowl XLV Champions! MichaelJCheaney's Avatar
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    Next thing you know people will be telling me that the Flintstones aren't real people....

    Or that there are no such things a leprechauns....

    And what is this Reasonable consumer clause?

    Clearly the plaintiff was not a "reasonable consumer" in fact I would call her too stupid to breed.....although something tells me she already has...

    And what about the lawyers?

    They must have known how stupid this woman was....how could they not, especially since they wanted to take it to class action status.

    And any reasonable person knows damn well the only people who make out on class action suits, are the lawyers!

    So this dumbass would have gotten suckered twice!

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by MichaelJCheaney View Post
    Next thing you know people will be telling me that the Flintstones aren't real people....

    Or that there are no such things a leprechauns....

    Stop Stop STOP

    There are leprechauns. They mess up my house constantly and they're always after me Lucky Charms.

  10. #10
    blurts with aplomb petrina's Avatar
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    cant wait til this bitch tries to eat dingleberries

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    Marshal tutkill's Avatar
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    Is Willy Wonka real????? :)

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    Twilight Junkie!
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Absynthe~ View Post
    :dohhere's your sign.
    I'm outta thanks but that's funny!!

    also apparently believed that there are fields somewhere in our land thronged by crunchberry bushes.
    *snortgiggle* It's scary how stupid some people are. Or what they will do for a buck. Damn, i'm gonna keep giggling over this one all night!

  13. #13
    Great Marquises
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    LOL, she loves cap'n crunch and froot loops and her name is Sugawara.
    Sheevaa: I can understand...I got peed on for the first time and got all excited about it:P
    DamagedGoods: mm... my meat smells damned tasty, it's a shame I've got another few hours to wait for it.
    newstarshipsmell :Sorry, DG, but the Laerma nuts only grow on trees on the world of Dezoris in the Algol star system so unless you have a spaceship...
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    Grand Marshal proudmom's Avatar
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    oh my gosh!!!!! Laughed so hard i might have peed myself..

  15. #15
    Grand King
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    LOL...I don't know what is funnier,the story or the posts...

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    Great Marshal Little Pea's Avatar
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    Damn I needed that, ROTFL!

    The comments were the funniest part, y'all are hilarious!

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