Texas judge allows the mother (Marissa Evans) collection of dead son's sperm

[Tazzzz]

Would you be as creeped out if she was carrying a baby for a child that couldn't have one? It would be the same. Cause i really, really doubt she is going to implant her own son's sperm in her womb. So she would just be a gestational surrogate using someone else's egg. Just like these ladies have done...........

Thoughs are all fine examples of a mother helping out there "LIVING" child Nell. Your talking Apples and Oranges. Its not the same thing. In your cases a living child went to the mom and the mother was just a surrogate for them. When the mom was done she handed the kids over and her job was finished.

In this case we have a mom who wants to replace a dead son, and have some one give girth to his children for her to raise. The son didn't leave a will or any paper work asking for this, its all the moms idea. We don't know what his wishes were and frankly neither did his mom. There are ethical issues involved here. Just because its her son, what gives her the right to do this??? Hell she might have even broken the law by donating his body parts, he certainly never authorized that.

What if after you died one of your kids said, fuck I miss my mom, and they got some of your DNA and had the doctors make up a fertile egg for some one to carry, is that right or wrong ?? just because we can do it doesnt mean we should.

[Nell]

Even if you do authorize your organs to be donated the hospital still needs the consent of the next of kin. So she did nothing wrong. And i don't see anything wrong with it. She obviously was a halfway decent parent to her son, so who cares if she goes through with this. She will do a better job than alot of parents out there.

And he is dead now. He cares not what she does with his sperm. I am certain of that.

And since you edited to add after I replied i will edit also.

I would have no problem with my kids doing that, although you are talking cloning me, not making offspring with my eggs, which i find different. Know why i wouldn't care? Again, cause i would be DEAD.

[penelopejo]

What you are saying is that no grandparent should be allowed to raise their grandchildren, whether their parents are living or dead, because it is unethical?

The court made the decision to allow her to harvest her son's sperm. So what if she wants to raise her grandchild? I've seen many grandparents raise their grandchildren. It's horrible to think that if my child were to die later in life that I would not be able to harvest her eggs. I am planning on her being my only child. And from what I am reading from all the grandparents on this site, being a grandparent is a wonderful feeling.

It could be possible that her just knowing his sperm is there, is a calming feeling. As in, I still have my son here, even though he's dead.

We don't even know if his sperm is viable. Which, I hope it is. And I hope a child is born from it. And I would love for 20 year from now for that child to read this and think, damn, people think I'm gross for being born after my daddy died all because my grandma wanted me and loved me before I was ever conceived.

[Tazzzz]

What you are saying is that no grandparent should be allowed to raise their grandchildren, whether their parents are living or dead, because it is unethical?

The issue isnt about a grandparent raising there grandkids and if they will love them and maybe do a good job of it. Thats not even the point, The point is if its ok to harvest eggs or sperm of a adult or minor child to give them life.

By the way I did read that in Texas she did have the right to donate his body part, but just barley, and the judge did give her the rights to harvest the sperm, but that is still up for debate as they try to figure out the laws. And thoughs laws may change for it or against it. This kind of thing has never happened before so its all has to be worked out in a court of law.

[penelopejo]

Then if they tell her no, that she cannot use his sperm, how will we treat all other IVF via sperm donors?

What if someone wants his sperm because he looks like her husband who is shooting blanks. (And it would be easier this way because people search long and hard for donors who match themselves.) She would need the permission from her, and the court already told her no that she couldn't use it. Wouldn't that be some bullshit too? I mean, there are women out there everyday using sperm from men they do not know about and could possibly be lying about their medical history just to get money for putting sperm in a cup. Now we have this lady, who is holding this sperm, who we don't even know is gonna ever use it, and we are telling her it's skeevy that she did so? Because she took it from her dead son?

[Tazzzz]

Then if they tell her no, that she cannot use his sperm, how will we treat all other IVF via sperm donors?

Now we have this lady, who is holding this sperm, who we don't even know is gonna ever use it, and we are telling her it's skeevy that she did so? Because she took it from her dead son?

Yes, I guess that is the point, Is it skeevy or not skeevy thing to do.

[nurseronda]

I could understand if it was your husband but not your son.that's just fucked up.

It may just be a way of ensuring that her bloodline continues even after her death. It would be my guess that she is too old to have another child and this was her only son. I love being a Grandma and this woman probably wants to watch her grandkids grow up and have kids of their own. This mother loved her son so much and I believe any child that would come from this action would be loved unconditionally.

[Aena]

She has found the egg donor and the surrogate and plans to go ahead with the implantation and pregnancy...


A grieving mother whose 21-year-old died after a nightclub fight is preparing to become a grandmother - using his sperm.
Marissa Evans began her quest to have a grandchild after a judge ruled in 2009 that a doctor in Austin, Texas, could collect the sperm of Nikolas Evans.
Now Mrs Evans has announced she's found both a surrogate mother and an egg donor.
She said: 'We're hoping that by the end of April our surrogate is pregnant. And I just know it's going to work.'
Nikolas died in March of 2009 after he was punched by Eric Skeeter outside an Austin club.
He fell to the ground, hit his head and died ten days later.
Mrs Evans said at the time she wanted a child for her son who had always talked about one day having children.

The egg donor and woman who will carry the child are two different people in two different countries.
Mrs Evans made a deal with a surrogacy clinic in another country not to reveal where they are located.
The egg donor lives in Russia.
'She really resembled him in facial features and education and interest and body type,' Mrs Evans said. 'It was really kind of uncanny and I just knew that she was going to be the one.'
Mrs Evans said she looked into surrogacy clinics in the U.S., but found they were all too expensive.
The total cost involved, including going abroad for the procedures and covering the surrogate mother's doctor bills, is around $70,000.
A friend is paying some of the cost and the rest she's trying to raise with an online fund.
If, for whatever reason, something goes wrong Mrs Evans said she'll simply try again.
'I know there's going to be haters out there who don't believe in what I'm doing, but they also probably have never been in my shoes,' she told Austin News's kxan.com.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz1xFigWhIx

[Aena]

Ok so after I found that update I went looking for an update to see if there had been a baby born. I came across Marissa's blog and from what I read, the only thing she has gotten so far is heartbreak. Everyone who agreed to do the surrogacy just ran off with her money and agreed for the fame of it. The only good news is her other son Ryan is expecting a baby, she did she say she isn't giving up on the dream of Nikolas having a baby though. I will link the blog, if I am not supposed to, someone remove it for me please...


I have been in contact with several Dr’s about the surrogacy. This dream will never die. I just can’t make the mistakes I have made in the past; trusting people who take my money for the “fame” of it all UGH. I have to think positively that if this is what Nikolas wants for me and my life and my family that the right person or people will come along and make this dream a reality. I am NOT too old to raise a child. We are raising a 5 year old now….not too much different than doing the baby thing again. LOL






http://www.nikolasevans.com/

[Nell]

Ha! Since my Kiki is now going to be a surrogate for someone this thread makes me Lol.

[VAS1326]

Honestly this woman is doing this for her and not for her son as she tries to make it out to sound. Yes he may have wanted kids and a family but he is not here to enjoy those things so doing it on his behalf is not for him but for her. I trully think her whole mission here is to keep herself focused on something other than dealing with her son's death. Maybe she thinks if his sperm creates a child it will be like her son living on. To be honest I wonder if she will ever have a grandchild that way. If the child wasn't meant to be it won't be and she needs to accept that sooner or later. There is a reason everything has fell through for her. I just feel so sad for her that she chose this way to handle her grief because if a child is never born from that sperm she will never find the peace and closure she is looking for.

As to wether or not this is ethical I don't know. Does she plan on the child calling her grandma or mom? I mean to be born an orphan on purpose is sad in my opinion. I'm sure she will want the child to know about his biological father but still it would have to be confusing for the child at one point or another. I can't imagine it would be an easy thing to explain. Can you imagine that conversation on a date when discussing their parents and family lives? I guess he could just stick with I was raised by my grandma and never give details.

What if the child is nothing like her son? Will she be disappointed that he wasn't a recreation of his father? I mean she said at one point she chose a donor who looked similiar to her son with similiar interest as if trying to make sure the child has the same traits as her son. However; even so you can still end up with a child that looks like neither parent due to dormant genetics. What would she do then? What if the personality traits are night and day between the child and her son? I'm sure she can have a boy sperm selected to guarentee a boy but what about everything else. Will it break her heart not to get the spitting image of her son whose memory she is trying to preserve? I don't think she is doing this to fullfill his wish but to satisfy her own need to have her son back. I don't feel that's the right reason to use his sperm to create life.

I just think whatever peace she is hoping to find will not be found this way. I hope if a child is born from this he doesn't lose out because of it.

[Silvahalo]

I don't find this disturbing at all. Really, I've read disturbing things and this isn't one of them. I remember telling hubs when we first married and put a hold on having kids right away, that IF he were to die before hand, I'd have his sperm harvested....and I was serious then...don't know what that makes me or if I would have actually done it....and hubs was fine with it. I'm glad it never came to nothing like that. Just saying I can understand the mother's desperation for her son and wanting to keep him alive through grandchildren.


Nikolas Evans


Missy Evans

AUSTIN — Eric Skeeter will soon walk out of an Austin jail. Because of a plea agreement, he will only serve 10 years' probation for beating and killing Nikolas Evans outside a bar on 6th Street.Missy Evans, the victim's mother, is going through a roller coaster of emotions.
There is anger over the sentence. She said she hoped the judge would at least give her son's killer a harsher penalty, since he had a criminal history.
"I thought for sure some kind of stipulation besides community service and restitution," Evans said. "I thought for sure extra jail time, because he's on parole now."
While disappointed, Evans said it's time to move forward with her plans to become a grandmother using her son's sperm.
In April, she successfully got a doctor to collect Nickolas' sperm, postmortem.
"We're using an anonymous egg donor and his sperm, and we'll try until we get it," she said. Evans said hundreds of women volunteered to help her dream come true, and a surrogate will carry the fertilized egg.
Some have criticized her decision, but Evans said her son talked frequently about wanting three boys.
"I think it helps me and my other son and my family, too — to know this is a huge possibility for us, and to keep him forever," she said.
Evans said she has fought a hard legal battle to make this possible; now she wants to help pass legislation that will make it easier for other families to do the same.
"So those mothers who lose their sons to war might be able to have this possibility without so much red tape," she said.
[...]

Bless the Evans' and the memory of Nikolas.

[SkummyRummy]

*Sigh* The poor mama...grief will make you do some crazy shit. She needs to move on and get some kind of closure. Like be happy about her living son's soon to be child. I wonder how often this is thought of when an adult child or spouse passes. Those thoughts raced through my mind when my boyfriend/daughter's dad passed at the young age of 20. I def wanted his sperm but sadly he was dead for too long and I doubt his mother would even be ok with that...but I dont know if I'd feel the same about my adult child...Some things aren't meant to be

[VAS1326]

She is crazy if she thinks the baby will make all the pain go away, she doesn't realize yet the hurt she will feel as she watches this child grow up without his father. It is a whole other kind of hurt and pain that you have to live with when things happen and you find yourself saying "I wish your dad was here" I cried all the way through my son's kindergarden graduation because I was sitting there alone while all the kids had BOTH parents there. It hurt me when he started t-ball and was the only boy without his father there with him. There is a lot of hurt that comes with raising a child who lost a parent. What will she do when he is old enough to start asking for a father? My son was 3 when my husband died. He was in kindergarden when he started asking for a "new dad" so he could have one like his friends and cousins do. If you ever want to see me emotional ask me if I think about what my husband has or will missed with the kids. It's not even what he missed but what my children won't/don't have him there for that gets me. Do you think when my daughter gets married she won't be thinking about the fact her father is not there to walk her down the aisle? It pains me that they hurt and they missed out on a life with him.

Yes grandparents can raise children and I know that but it has to be difficult. And no matter how hard she tries that child will not be a replica of his father. She can raise him the exact same way but as we see with siblings no two people raised in the same household are exactly alike. I can tell you this from my experience of having 3 children with dead fathers. My oldest is the only one who really knew her father as she was 9 when he died. She is a lot like her dad is many ways. She does things the way she saw him do them or how he taught her. She picked up some of his atttitudes, manurisms ect. My 2nd born was 3 when his dad died and he is a lot like me. His attitudes are like mine, his maneurisms are like mine and he does things the way I do them. My son who is about to be 3 in a few weeks, his father committed sucide when I was pregnant. My fiance has been dad to him since he was a few months old (he legally adopted him) and he acts like my fiance, not his bio father.

What I'm saying here is since her grandbaby will never have known his dad and never been exposed to how his dad talked, acted, and did things he will most likely end up more like the people who raise him opposed to his biological father.

I really don't know if producing people is the way we should be mourning our dead. To have a memory live on does not require a child being born in my opinion. I honestly think if this is a pratice that will become mainstream we need to have it be included in the living will. Just like you can decide if you want the plug pulled in certain cirumstances you should also have to say if you want your sperm/egg's used after you die as well. Maybe it's because I am a spiritual person but I feel if you die before you have kids that was the way it was meant to be.