Sonic the Hedgehog loves me more bee-otch!!!

[DamagedGoods]

Sonic the Hedgehog loves me more than he loves Alix Henriol

Things are not looking good for your sanity when you want to eat out Sonic the Hedgehog's ass. If you've never heard of Alix Henriol, well... it gets worse... much... MUCH worse. Perhaps I'm not being understanding enough... I'll lead you through the evidence and let you decide. Let's just say I suspect you'll begin to see Tree-marriers as sane rational members of human society.

Maybe you've heard of her, but just incase...and well.. hell, its worth a second look.

I really don't even have to put much effort into making this shit funny but here goes:

Alix loves Sonic.. really loves him, in fact she thinks she is married to him. Yes, married to a video game character, I can't fathom it either. I'm wondering where she thinks Sonic lives...across the street from Banjo Kazooie and the Super Mario brothers? She likes to take videos of herself, just... lookin around... She's even semi-normal looking. Who'da thunk? She wants to ingest all of Sonic's various bodily excretions and fluids, all of them, shit, piss, vomit, snot; you name it. To say she is obsessed is to be the uber-master of understatement.

Now, on to the evidence, proceed at your own risk.

http://www.sonic-online.com/sonicpassion/

http://www.sonic-online.com/forum/in...howtopic=12232

Satire Myspace

The Real Deal

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52N04PIydgI"]Dude who cares way too fucking much[/ame]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...Alix%20Henriol

Freaky bitch's youtube

http://www.alix-henriol.com/

Its epic... and not in a good way...

Don't say I didn't warn you.

[Manfred von Assenhammer]

yeah, all this stuff raeped my brain, and it's all really horrible. but there was one thing that really confused me about all of this.

on that first page, about 2/3 down there's a post by some robophile perv asking a perfectly logical question: can the mod open a board for those who are living the principle of plural marriage with video game characters? that Alix whore answers back with something about how she can't "extol the unfaithfulness" and that polygamy is wrong and harmful, and how if it's illegal in most countries it must be bad. i would quote this shit, but it's a screencap and not text.

now i'm not exactly a fan of polygamy or anything. but if you are sexually attracted to sonic the hedgehog and you think you're married to him, do you really have the right to judge anyone? maybe it's just me, but i think polygamy in general (not video game character polygamy) is FAR less insane than wanting to give sonic a rimjob.

and now that i have that horrific thought in my brain, i can't go on any longer. i'll be sure to give dg credit in my suicide note.

[DamagedGoods]

Chickipedia entry that I strongly suspect was written by Alix

[Insomniac]

God damn. I need a drink after reading this.

[sheevaa]

I truly wonder how she er...gets it on with her "hubby". I'm too squeamish to keep researching THAT, though!

[Manfred von Assenhammer]

I truly wonder how she er...gets it on with her "hubby". I'm too squeamish to keep researching THAT, though!

i have no clue, and i really don't think i want to know. i can see two obvious complications, though. 1. bestiality is illegal in many jurisdictions. 2. sonic is a fictional character in a video game, making it absolutely impossible for them to ever actually consummate their psychotic imaginary "marriage". so as much as horrible stories like this can stick in your brain when you'd rather they didn't, there's no point in contemplating the logic behind any of this, because there is none. it is 279% batshit insane no matter what way you look at it.

amazingly, this epic moron is not the only sickass furry pervert(or furvert, if you will) to become obsessed with sonic. in fact, there seems to be something about sonic that attracts freaks. if anyone is curious about just how stupid and weird the internet can get, read more about the sonic fandom here:


http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Sonic_the_Hedgehog


seeing all this makes me wonder what exactly the game designers who created sonic would think about how their character has been turned into a sex object for fucking insane furverts. did they have any clue of the horror they were unleashing on the world? would they sue her for destroying the good name of their character? or would they commit seppuku out of shame for creating something that has become so degraded? these are the questions i really want an answer to.