"Toddlers & Tiaras" - Child Pageants

**Lizard** · March 11th, 2009, 01:22 AM

So I was flipping channels during a commercial and came upon Toddlers & Tiaras on TLC.

On any given weekend, on stages across the country, little girls and boys parade around wearing makeup, false eyelashes, spray tans and fake hair to be judged on their beauty, personality and costumes. Toddlers and Tiaras follows families on their quest for sparkly crowns, big titles, and lots of cash.

The preparation is intense as it gets down to the final week before the pageant. From hair and nail appointments, to finishing touches on gowns and suits, to numerous coaching sessions or rehearsals, each child preps for their performance. But once at the pageant, it's all up to the judges and drama ensues when every parent wants to prove that their child is beautiful.

http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/toddlers...nd-tiaras.html

I'm not sure I can explain how horrified I am after watching a few minutes of this show. We have a mother of a 2-year-old saying that "if we win this show, we'll be so proud." WE? We who? You and the two-year-old?

The show is playing as I type, and for the most part, I'm not seeing something that's fun. I'm not seeing something that is a warm and bonding experience between a mother and daughter.

Oh, shit, a mom just said, "Kayleigh will participate in pageants until she tells me she doesn't want to." Um, the kid can't really talk yet. And she doesn't want her fucking nails painted, you bitch.

Can someone explain this to me? I have this television show on; it shows the upper-middle-class homes of the Georgia pageant participants--but am I really watching a freak show?

One more time. Horrified.

If someone can convince me that what I'm watching is somehow good, please do.

**Unamused Cat** · March 11th, 2009, 02:16 AM

Originally Posted by Lizard

So I was flipping channels during a commercial and came upon Toddlers & Tiaras on TLC.

http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/toddlers...nd-tiaras.html

I'm not sure I can explain how horrified I am after watching a few minutes of this show. We have a mother of a 2-year-old saying that "if we win this show, we'll be so proud." WE? We who? You and the two-year-old?

The show is playing as I type, and for the most part, I'm not seeing something that's fun. I'm not seeing something that is a warm and bonding experience between a mother and daughter.

Oh, shit, a mom just said, "Kayleigh will participate in pageants until she tells me she doesn't want to." Um, the kid can't really talk yet. And she doesn't want her fucking nails painted, you bitch.

Can someone explain this to me? I have this television show on; it shows the upper-middle-class homes of the Georgia pageant participants--but am I really watching a freak show?

One more time. Horrified.

If someone can convince me that what I'm watching is somehow good, please do.

I don't go for that prissy crap. My Daughter played soccer, softball and basketball.

**Vilijonkka** · March 11th, 2009, 04:04 AM

I have always found this disturbing, from the times of that murdered Bennet (?) girl. I think it's mothers fullfilling their lost fantasies of being beauty queens, if you know what I mean.

I wasn't sure if it was a cultural thing, and boy am I happy to see it's not! In anycase, it's twisted. IMO. And I doubt toddlers are enjoying it.

**thebooblady** · March 11th, 2009, 08:11 AM

I used to reserve judgement on pageant mothers but after seeing that show I feel the same way as you. They had one with people from my area on so I watched it and I was horrified. Who the hell thinks it is okay to use spray tan and fake eye lashes on a 5 year old?? And the one that was on last night, I watched it for a few minutes. They were dragging the babies up there! They were crying! I would never parade my daughters around like a whore..because I think that is exactly what these pageants are.

**maryhaze** · March 11th, 2009, 04:33 PM

funny thing is my sons used to love to have their nails painted. & goth makeup. i'm called a freak & my kids were yapping for me to do it. just for fun on a rainy saturday.

**DarkPrincess** · March 11th, 2009, 04:39 PM

Pedos frequent these things which is the huge reason I don't like it.

**Athena** · March 11th, 2009, 04:45 PM

I've always had a problem with this. I just hope these mothers don't try to blame the media when little Kristy hits 14 starts starving herself.

Generally, my only problem is with the parents who push their kids to win competitions. There's a big difference between that and encouraging them to get involved in activities, or helping them meet their committments. But I really make the exception for these little kid pageants. I just don't see what's healthy about teaching children that young that it's not just okay, but recommended that you subject yourself to discomfort and augmentation for the sake of others' approval. I mean, let's be real - most teenagers tend to pick that up on their own. They don't need mom or dad reinforcing that particular value.

**Steph** · March 11th, 2009, 04:51 PM

I watch this show b/c literally, I couldn't turn away from the trainwreck. I HATE child pageants. If your daughter is being carried across the stage by you - you are doing it for yourself. Also, I can't stand how they sexualize younger girls. And the Mothers. Oh the mothers. Can anyone say unfulfilled dreams so I'll use my child?!?
TLC needs to be careful about what they show as well. The last episode, this 5ish year old girl threw a fit, so TLC proceeded to show her, wearing only underwear for probably 5 minutes. I'm sorry, but do you know how many pedo's have those minutes DVRd and are currently wearing out their tvs? SO irresponsible.

BUT - I have to admit, I am a supporter of the Miss America pageant system - it paid for over 1/2 my college tuition. Yes, Guilty admission, I competed in locals for Miss MD w/in the Miss America system. And NO, I am not prissy - 4 years varsity soccer and lacrosse, equestrian team in college, etc. BUT, I had an older friend who was Miss Md and encouraged me to do locals

The thing to remember about the difference b/w the Pageants on Toddlers and Tiaras (and Miss USA for that matter) is that they have ENORMOUS entrance fees - ie, even if you win, you didn't make that much. Also, these pageants are completely looks, and I hate what they teach kids! We've probably all gotten fliers to "Compete in LittleMiss Perfect, only$1500 in sponsership required!" GAG.

Miss America's system doesn't have entry fees, and 1st and 2nd runners up receive $1K or $2K in scholarship money. 40% of your score is based on talent (mine was flute) 30% is Interview (off stage, panel of judges) and the final 30% is divided b/w Evening and Swimsuit. So it really isn't all looks (if it were, there were a couple more I would have won!!) Also, for the Teens in the Miss America system - NO swim suits, so in my opinion, doesn't sexualize contestants as much.

So Lizard - I cannot tell you that this show is good. But I will say that I watch it and spend an enjoyable hour going "OMFG OMFG OMFG"

**Shizz** · March 11th, 2009, 05:04 PM

If you are a parent and you subject your child to this, you are out of your mind.

**MadmamainNC** · March 11th, 2009, 05:07 PM

Personally I think it's creepy. Some of these little children have false teeth put in over their original ones, hair extensions and after make-up, don't even look like they normally do. If that doesn't instill horrible self imagine issues in a little girl, I don't know what does? "Here hunny, you're not so pretty so let me change you so you stand a chance against the other girls".

I was watching a show a while back (Could have been Wife Swap or the like) and the mother was arguing the point that these contest help towards earning college scholarships etc. Does this woman realize how much money she is investing in the dresses, classes and other things that goes into preparing these girls for competition? She was spending at least $20,000 a year on that crap. That money can be better invested elsewhere and pay entirely for college, graduate school and possibly the birth of her first grandchild. Doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to figure that one out.

I truly think it's for the parents. They live vicariously through their children and that bothers the hell out of me. It's selfish, plain and simple.

**Athena** · March 11th, 2009, 05:16 PM

Originally Posted by MadmamainNC

Personally I think it's creepy. Some of these little children have false teeth put in over their original ones, hair extensions and after make-up, don't even look like they normally do.

OMG! DID YOU SEE THE DR. PHIL EPISODE?!?

That was probably the point in my life where my opinion of these mothers went from mild disdain to flat out contempt. He had a picture of this woman's 4 (or so) year old daughter in all her Jon Benet glory on the big screen amove his stage. He pointed out her false teeth, her spray tan, her hair extensions - I think she may have even been wearing color contacts - then said, "That's just creepy."

Preach it, Dr. Phil... Preach it.

**Steph** · March 11th, 2009, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by MadmamainNC

Personally I think it's creepy. Some of these little children have false teeth put in over their original ones, hair extensions and after make-up, don't even look like they normally do. If that doesn't instill horrible self imagine issues in a little girl, I don't know what does? "Here hunny, you're not so pretty so let me change you so you stand a chance against the other girls".

I was watching a show a while back (Could have been Wife Swap or the like) and the mother was arguing the point that these contest help towards earning college scholarships etc. Does this woman realize how much money she is investing in the dresses, classes and other things that goes into preparing these girls for competition? She was spending at least $20,000 a year on that crap. That money can be better invested elsewhere and pay entirely for college, graduate school and possibly the birth of her first grandchild. Doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to figure that one out.

I truly think it's for the parents. They live vicariously through their children and that bothers the hell out of me. It's selfish, plain and simple.

You brought out points I forgot (the teeth thingys) etc - thank you!!
was it the WS where the Mom also talked about "Sparkling" all the time? If that girl was 5 you bet she'd be on toddlers and tiaras.
The families that do this (child pageants) so obviously overextend themselves - agree w/you 100%. I swear some of those tiny gowns cost more than the homes they live in. My parents lucked out b/c I was working so could contribute, AND would use gowns from my prom/homecoming (and my friend was my coach for free)

**Dakota Valkyrie** · March 11th, 2009, 05:23 PM

Originally Posted by MadmamainNC

Does this woman realize how much money she is investing in the dresses, classes and other things that goes into preparing these girls for competition? She was spending at least $20,000 a year on that crap. That money can be better invested elsewhere and pay entirely for college, graduate school and possibly the birth of her first grandchild. Doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to figure that one out.

I never even thought of it this way! Cool!! More ammo (if I can remember it when the time comes).

Anyone who says they are doing for their kid is delusional.

My daughter came to me when she was 8 and wanted to compete because her friend was competing. I said "No". If she had truly wanted to do it, I would have never heard the end of it and would have considered it at age 12 or so. At 14 she did go to a model audition. I knew it was a scam thing but didn't tell her. When the price and the paperwork came (they accepted her, of course), she decided it wasn't worth it... gentle guidance helped LOL

I do see the benefit of some pageant programs and for teens that actually want to do it. Everyone else is just making a fool of themselves and their kid.

**Silvahalo** · March 11th, 2009, 05:27 PM

I was such a prissy, girly girl and loved the thrill of putting on a new dress...rare occasion, and doing my hair. I think my mother might have put us girls in this type of thing had she had the resources.

As a mother myself, I'd never do it. I have two boys and have been told a number of times they should model. My husband and I both agree we don't care to put them in the lime-light and exposed to an industry that is well, skin deep. Admittedly, I have on occasion entered some pictures of my kiddos to CuteKid.com. I was enticed as the winning entries can win $25,0000 for college. Yeah, that's sweet. I never submit enough as each entry is $25 and I'm usually tucking that into their college fund instead....budgets tight anyhow.

I think these pageants are disturbing and rob children of a carefree childhood. Parents who do this are most certainly looking to fulfill a personal dream and doing so by putting their child in these zany, zoo-like, pedo-fest gatherings in hopes to reach them. Besides it goes totally against what I want my boys to value. Putting such a high value on appearance instead of the inner workings of a person, is not my idea of good parenting. Yeah, sure it's fun to dress up and make pretend, but this is no where near fostering an imagination or positive self-esteem. The pressure alone I see these children under make me want to call CPS on these mothers.

If my children ever get noticed because of their looks it will be because someone noticed their picture in the paper after winning a scholastic scholarship. Besides, I don't need anyone to convince me my children are beautiful.

**Dakota Valkyrie** · March 11th, 2009, 05:46 PM

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjWDHFwCrfc"]YouTube - Child Beauty Pageants - Step right up! Come join the fun![/ame]

AND I got wondering if any studies have been done. I am sure there have but I didn't feel like digging too far. A small study of one area:

This study evaluated the association between childhood beauty pageants and adult disordered eating, body dissatisfaction, depression, and self-esteem. Eleven women who participated in childhood beauty pageants were matched on age and BMI with 11 non-participating women.

Childhood pageant participants scored higher on body dissatisfaction, interpersonal distrust, and impulse dysregulation than non-participants, and showed a trend toward greater ineffectiveness.

There were no significant differences between groups on measures of bulimia, body perception, depression, and self-esteem.

These findings suggest childhood beauty pageant participation may influence adult body dissatisfaction, interpersonal distrust, and impulse dysregulation, but not bulimic behaviors, body perception, depression, and self-esteem.

http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/con...4034590~db=all

**flawed_existence** · March 11th, 2009, 06:00 PM

I find pagents to be sickening. The idea of sexualizing children is extremely disturbing to me. The point has been made on this thread the pedophiles LOVE the pagents. I can well believe it. Poor little girls. So much for the innocence of childhood.

**Insomniac** · March 11th, 2009, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by Shizz

If you are a parent and you subject your child to this, you are out of your mind.

If you are a parent and subject your child to this, you shouldn't be allowed to breed.

**MadmamainNC** · March 11th, 2009, 07:13 PM

Silva, I must say your boys are beautiful and a little commercial work if they like to ham for the camera isn't a bad thing.
The difference is, a child that does a commercial Ad is portraying a child. Even modeling children's clothing isn't on the same level as the pageantry. And I know how much you love playing with the camera so IMO, it can be fun.

DV, that video is again "creepy". They look like dolls. Last doll that creeped me out was Talking Tina and she wanted to kill people. I see a similarity.

**joo** · March 11th, 2009, 10:06 PM

It's pretty obvious that the parents on the Toddlers and Tiaras show enter their children in these pageants out of insecurity about their own looks, a "hey, at least I had pretty kids" type of thing.

While I do find all the fake hair, teeth, tan stuff too superficial for young girls, I never thought of it as abusive or damaging. After all, all the girls (except for Marleigh and the one four year old from Mississippi with the "two moms") seemed to be having fun with it all. However, that was until last week, when I saw the episode with (I think) Holly, the 7 year old from West Virginia.

First of all, her mom let her dye her hair and shave her legs. WTF.

Secondly, this is the family that allowed the two year old to run around in her underwear, not only in front of everyone at the pageant but everyone on national TV. As Steph mentioned, pedo's wet dream.

I also got a creepy child toucher vibe from the grandfather.

I actually expected more trainwreck from this show (I've watched every episode). Most of the girls and families seem pretty well adjusted. I personally wouldn't allow my daughter (if I had one) to participate in pageants because I wouldn't want her to be so focused on the importance of looks. I do think that pageants can be an acceptable activity as long as the parents keep it in proper perspective.

**Lizard** · March 11th, 2009, 10:17 PM

BTW, I goofed in my original post. The kid named "Kayleigh" or "Hayleigh" actually was all right. When asked how many pageants her daughter is in, Story's mom said "1 or 2 a month." As for Kayleigh (Hayleigh?), more like 2 a year. Plus, this girl seemed a lot more balanced--like she was enjoying herself--and wore no make-up, hair extensions, etc. I found an article earlier today about this episode; I have to go find it so I can post the URL here....

**Dakota Valkyrie** · March 12th, 2009, 12:17 PM

I bet pageant parents are like sports parents (or band, or cheer, or 4H, or etc...). Some are cut-throat to the point of dangerous, others are just doing it for something to do, and there are a zillion variations in the middle.

**Athena** · March 12th, 2009, 12:26 PM

What's the difference between "body dissatisfaction" and "body perception"? Wouldn't you think that body dissatisfaction is the down side of body perception?

**Lizard** · March 12th, 2009, 12:26 PM

Here's the link to the site I mentioned last night.

http://jezebel.com/5146160/this-kid-...?autoplay=true

**penelopejo** · March 12th, 2009, 12:35 PM

I don't know which show is worse, this one, or Little Miss Perfect. I watched Little Miss Perfect last night, and there was this one little girl, didn't have fake hair, no fake teeth, no fake tan, nothing. The mother had her as plain as could be. Even her dress was plain white, short, but just white. All she had on was mascara and lip gloss. After they walked the stage together, the mom was crying. The daughter asked if she was ok, and the mom said," yes, honey, I am. It's just that you're so beautiful and I'll never be as beautiful as you are." My jaw just dropped cause the little girl started crying. Like crying cause her mom said that. Like it's her fault that she's beautiful. And I know that little girl took it that way because if she had taken it any other way, she wouldn't have started crying. I changed it afterward. I didn't want to see who won, but I hoped it was her because all the other little girls were tarted up, as peeper said. It's just a shame that these little girls are subjected to all this fake stuff. it's like saying they aren't beautiful just the way they are.

and btw, the little girl i just mentioned, was the one who wanted the mascara and lip gloss on, the mother didn't want to put it on her. She gave in after being prodded so long by her daughter.

**Silvahalo** · March 12th, 2009, 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by MadmamainNC

Silva, I must say your boys are beautiful and a little commercial work if they like to ham for the camera isn't a bad thing.
The difference is, a child that does a commercial Ad is portraying a child. Even modeling children's clothing isn't on the same level as the pageantry. And I know how much you love playing with the camera so IMO, it can be fun.

DV, that video is again "creepy". They look like dolls. Last doll that creeped me out was Talking Tina and she wanted to kill people. I see a similarity.

Thanks Madmama, that I'd probably be O.K., with as long is it wasn't very long hours. I want my boys to have fun being kids....thanks for the compliment!

**Eagles Mom** · March 12th, 2009, 01:00 PM

When the princess was little I had a couple of people try to talk me into having her do pageants. They got a resounding Hell No!

I don't think any child should believe their self worth comes from what they look like. Don't most of us spend their early lives trying to convince them that isn't the important part? Work hard, study hard and do your best?
Nah....just look good and everything will be easy for you...you don't need to be able to do anything else.

Then when my kid was in about 4th grade one of her classmates was big into beauty pagaents, missed a lot of school and so forth. When report cards came out and she was failing classes because she couldn't read her mom told her "it's alright honey, you're pretty and that's really all that counts".

Just makes me want to shake my head.

**Dakota Valkyrie** · March 12th, 2009, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by Eagles Mom

...When report cards came out and she was failing classes because she couldn't read her mom told her "it's alright honey, you're pretty and that's really all that counts"....

Holy shitoley! Twice in my reign as Attilla-the-Mom I pulled kids from extracurriculars for dropping grades... they were still respectable grades but the drop was the concern. Both kids got their acts together and were able to return and kept grades up after that.

I can't even fathom that mentality. Why keep a kid in school at all, then? Why not just silicone them up and turn them out on the corner? Post them on Craigslist as being available for Father-Daughter dances? Maybe marry them off at 12? Those suggestions are just as ridiculous as poo-pooing poor performance in school.

**Eagles Mom** · March 12th, 2009, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by Dakota_Valkyrie

Holy shitoley! Twice in my reign as Attilla-the-Mom I pulled kids from extracurriculars for dropping grades... they were still respectable grades but the drop was the concern. Both kids got their acts together and were able to return and kept grades up after that.

I can't even fathom that mentality. Why keep a kid in school at all, then? Why not just silicone them up and turn them out on the corner? Post them on Craigslist as being available for Father-Daughter dances? Maybe marry them off at 12? Those suggestions are just as ridiculous as poo-pooing poor performance in school.

DV, I agree with you. In my world a B means you obviously don't have enough time to study. Extracurricular stuff always comes in behind school work.

Did I mention I'm a hard ass about that stuff? Some kid once told the princess that she was glad that I that wasn't her mom. My kid politely replied, yeah my mom is glad too.

**Athena** · March 12th, 2009, 05:39 PM

Heh... My mom's neighborhood nick name was "The Warden", if that gives you any idea about the way my sister and I were raised. We were always one of only three places, really - At school, in our room doing homework or playing the fuck outside. Not much middle ground.

**chatdenuit** · March 14th, 2009, 09:50 AM

Read this post earlier (yesterday actually) and talked it over with hubby. I can see the munchkin wanting to do this, but that's gonna be a problem. She's only two and a half and already likes dress up (can't imagine why - I don't). All that aside, I really do think that this kind of thing is more of a way for parents to live out their own dreams, which is really sick.
On a funnier note, just thought I'd ask if anyone has seen "Little Miss Sunshine"? I thought the movie did a really good job of poking fun at the pageant scene. I mean here's this adorable little girl dancing her heart out, albeit in a lewd fashion, in the talent show and the pageant people are looking at her like she's nuts when in fact it's really the whole set up that's crazy.