Man mauled by depressed poodle.

**MichaelJCheaney** · January 22nd, 2009, 08:47 PM

Former French president Jacques Chirac was rushed to hospital after being mauled by his own 'clinically depressed' pet dog.
The 76-year-old statesman was savaged by his white Maltese dog - which suffers from frenzied fits and is being treated with anti-depressants.
The animal, named Sumo, had become increasingly violent over the past years and was prone to making 'vicious, unprovoked attacks', Chirac's wife Bernadette said.

The former president, who ruled France for 12 years until 2007, was taken to hospital in Paris where he was treated as an outpatient and sent home, VSD magazine reported.
Mrs Chirac said: 'The dog went for him for no apparent reason.
'We were already aware the animal was unpredictable and is actually being treated with pills for depression.
'My husband was bitten quite badly, but he is certain to make a full recovery over the coming weeks.'
The former French First Lady did not reveal where on his body Chirac was bitten.
The pet, named after the Japanese form of wrestling, was a gift to the Chiracs from their grandson Martin.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Poor guy couldn't raise the white flag of surrender fast enough.

**Pete Bondurant** · January 22nd, 2009, 08:52 PM

That dog should be made an honourary American citizen. If only John McClane had won the election!

**Dakota Valkyrie** · January 22nd, 2009, 08:54 PM

You know damn well the only reason this made the news is because the guy was who he was.

LOL anyway. Good thing it wasn't a pack of schizophrenic wiener dogs.

**pissedoffindaytona** · January 22nd, 2009, 08:58 PM

Poor Jacques, prob got bit in the nads, I wonder how old Sumo is? I'm sure his meds will be changed again...

**MichaelJCheaney** · January 22nd, 2009, 08:59 PM

Poodles on Prozac....

**MichaelJCheaney** · January 22nd, 2009, 09:00 PM

Originally Posted by Dakota_Valkyrie

You know damn well the only reason this made the news is because the guy was who he was.

LOL anyway. Good thing it wasn't a pack of schizophrenic wiener dogs.

I just wonder if the conversation between the Shrink and the Poodle went something like this:

“ So, Sumo, tell me, vhat hav you been doing lately, ya?”
“ Gee, doc, I just don't have the energy to even bark at the mailman anymore, My life is just a dreary round of naps, rotten food, and being forced to ride around with that moron Chirac. I swear, if he calls me 'bitsy-bookums' one more time, I'm gonna snap out. I mean really snap out. Then we'll see who's the master. You'll see. They're all gonna see....”

The funniest part though is that he got his ass kicked by a 5 pound dog....

**Athena** · January 22nd, 2009, 09:01 PM

He owned a poodle? Seriously, way to perpetuate a stereotype, Chirac.

...and put that fucker down, now. You don't treat a goddamn dog with pills. We aren't even clear on how pills effect humans, yet.

**Kitty** · January 22nd, 2009, 09:07 PM

Originally Posted by Pete Bondurant

That dog should be made an honourary American citizen. If only John McClane had won the election!

Well.. the Obamas are looking for a dog... =)

**Kitty** · January 22nd, 2009, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by Athena

He owned a poodle? Seriously, way to perpetuate a stereotype, Chirac.

...and put that fucker down, now. You don't treat a goddamn dog with pills. We aren't even clear on how pills effect humans, yet.

Michael is guilty of false advertising..

The 76-year-old statesman was savaged by his white Maltese dog - which suffers from frenzied fits and is being treated with anti-depressants.

I've really GOT to start reading all the posts before I flap my fingers.. lol

**MichaelJCheaney** · January 22nd, 2009, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by Athena

He owned a poodle? Seriously, way to perpetuate a stereotype, Chirac.

...and put that fucker down, now. You don't treat a goddamn dog with pills. We aren't even clear on how pills effect humans, yet.

And he even decided to name it SUMO!

There is just so many one liners.

I don't even KNOW where to begin.