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Thread: Woman Marries Wall

  1. #1
    Buddy the Elf Maggie Mae's Avatar
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    Woman Marries Wall



    A Swedish woman with a fetish for inanimate objects has revealed she's been married to the Berlin Wall for 29 years.

    Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, 54, whose surname means Berlin Wall in German, wed the concrete structure in 1979, reports the Daily Telegraph.

    Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who has been diagnosed with a condition called Objectum-Sexuality, claimed she fell in love with the wall when she first saw it on TV as a child.

    She began collecting "his" pictures and saving up for visits. On her sixth trip in 1979 they tied the knot before a handful of guests.

    While she remains a virgin with humans, she insists she had a full, loving relationship with the wall.

    Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who lives in Liden, northern Sweden, said: "I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy.

    "The Great Wall of China's attractive, but he's too thick - my husband is sexier."

    While the rest of mankind rejoiced when the Berlin Wall was largely torn down in 1989, its "wife" was horrified.

    She's never been back and now has only model to remind her of "his" former glory.

    Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who has shifted her affections to a nearby garden fence, said: "What they did was awful. They mutilated my husband."
    http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2870071.html
    "I am EVERYWHERE." -TheMorningStar

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  3. #2
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    Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who has shifted her affections to a nearby garden fence
    I wonder if it's white picket or wrought iron? Possibly chain link if she's into bad boys.
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    Were they registered at Wal Mart?

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    Nun the worse for where Sister Iroz's Avatar
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    Well, if I had it to do over again that might be the way to go, that way it couldn't talk back. Sounds like the perfect relationship to me!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Special2bme View Post
    Well, if I had it to do over again that might be the way to go, that way it couldn't talk back. Sounds like the perfect relationship to me!
    Yeah, but he would never take you anywhere.
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    With my all by myself... SoUncool's Avatar
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    I'd marry a wall if he'd pay the bills and keep his mortar-hole shut...
    YOUR mom.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Special2bme View Post
    Well, if I had it to do over again that might be the way to go, that way it couldn't talk back. Sounds like the perfect relationship to me!
    It would literally be like talking to a wall...not that much different than a conventional marriage, then.

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    Super Bowl XLV Champions! MichaelJCheaney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaVen Blackehart View Post
    Were they registered at Wal Mart?
    WAL-Mart!

    I get it!!!!!

    HA!

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  14. #9
    Hater of Everything
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaVen Blackehart View Post
    It would literally be like talking to a wall...not that much different than a conventional marriage, then.
    That's pretty much what I was thinking.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MichaelJCheaney View Post
    WAL-Mart!

    I get it!!!!!

    HA!
    Now I get it too.

    I now pronounce you husband and wall?
    I lost my viginity to a wall?
    My wall and I are leaving on vacation tommorrow, come over for dinner tonite...

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    If by some odd chance they were to have kids, they would probably be walleyed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dakota_Valkyrie View Post
    I wonder if it's white picket or wrought iron? Possibly chain link if she's into bad boys.
    I've always been very turned on by wrought iron fences as well! Especially those with the wicked spikes...

    So I guess I have Objectum-Sexuality with a dash of S & M thrown in!

  20. #13
    Buddy the Elf Maggie Mae's Avatar
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    My amusement comes mostly from the fact that this is a FETISH ... not a disorder. Also that she assures people she made it with her man ... LMFAO.
    "I am EVERYWHERE." -TheMorningStar

    "It won't let me do you." -Eagles Mom

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    Pickle Me Jaded Jaded's Avatar
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    Ok, so now I don't feel so bad for my close relationship with my Mr. Coffee. We are still in the hand-holding phase though.
    "Never make a decision when you need to pee."
    --Leonard Cohen (Beautiful Losers)

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  23. #15
    Grand Prince
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    Come to think of it, I am having a close relationship with mr coffee too.
    That means only one thing, well two. I'm gay and he's cheating. That really sucks.

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    It's Complicated.... Just my luck sucks's Avatar
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    No biggie-- Me? I was once married to the original box of rocks.

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  27. #17
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    And who says buildingas are not sexy...??





    More about Eija-Riitta and her beloved one...



    - http://www.berlinermauer.se/
    - http://www.objectum-sexuality.org/
    - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_sexuality

    How cruel of them to take him away from her...

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  29. #18
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    This woman married the Eiffel Tower, there is even an hour long documentary of it for when you get bored. There is also one of a woman in love with the Golden Gate bridge. The has a chunk of iron from it, in which she gets intimate with. Of course the GG reciprocates. He loves her back.

    The odd thing is , people with objectivism, or objectophilia, seem otherwise normal and intelligent.

    http://documentarystorm.com/married-...-eiffel-tower/
    Last edited by malq; January 23rd, 2012 at 10:15 AM.
    "Where the fuck am I ? - Amelia Earhart, 1937

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  31. #19
    Regent cubby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just my luck sucks View Post
    No biggie-- Me? I was once married to the original box of rocks.
    Sister In Law!! I was once married to his brother-----Bag of Hammers!!! LOL

  32. #20
    Seraphim Sass
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    Mrs Berliner-Mauer, who lives in Liden, northern Sweden, said: "I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy.
    She could have just married a tattooed penis with horizontal lines. Probably more fun than lets say, trying to fuck a long, slim wall.

    People are so fucking weird.
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