DamagedGoods

Malq was fortunate in comparison to some of his countrymen but cannot be considered lucky by any stretch. Through sheer grit and determination he managed to escape the spinach field that would later be known as Malqaggedon Ground Zero. By chance, the day his settlement was razed, by farmers whose husbandry of the land was corrupted by greed, he was out tracking a rogue band of E. Coli. The E. Coli were just as devastated by the farmer's manic harvesting. They had strayed far in search of food and shelter.

That small amount of luck would be the only afforded to Malq. Once clear of the spinach fields he still had to cross the dreaded alfalfa patch to reach the coast. This territory was controlled by the brutal dung beetle.

In a side note, during my interview with Malq I was amazed by his determination, but during his re-telling of his ordeal in the alfalfa patch I was stunned and often in awe of his impossible grace. Although obviously trying for Malq - at times breaking down, he was always honest and forever courageous. One day, I hope to tell this story to my children to show them the beauty of survival against the greatest odds

Dung Beetles are known for their cruelty and eye watering lack of hygiene. Malq was repeatedly forced to trade his insecty virtue for safe passage. It was here that he earned his nickname Malq-de-tête. So named for the vicious headaches he had by taking repeated poundings to the forehead from the Dung Beetles shit plastered armour covered testicles. Everybody knows the phrase 't-bagging' but the beetles had a technique called 'steeping' where groups as large as 4-6 would surround a person and wallop their testicles against the victims skull. This caused migraines, concussion and even comas. The long term effects of this torture have not been studied but an informal investigation has noted increases in depression, PTS disorder, recurring nightmares, and erratic behaviours. It was months before the strange indentations faded from his countenance.

I believe this may have been part of what drove him to his more risqué adventures later in his journey. As you will see further in this examination, there were many, less-than usual states of dress in which he could be found in the future.

Here we have a map detailing Malq's escape after finding his home in ruins: