KiKi

Okay, so this is the fight that I am having with my best friend of 16 years...I sent this message to her via Myspace because she was not answering my phone calls or replying to texts so I was starting to get worried that she either 1. Died or 2. Wasn't talking to me for some unknown reason...

This is our conversation...I need help on understanding some of this...

"Kari,

Hey, I just wanted to send you this message because are we not talking? Or what's up? I have texted you like 4 or 5 times and no reply. I have also called numerous times to try and talk to you...I will be really sad if you are not talking to me. I am trying to prove to you that things will be different this time...look, even my parents have said that they don't like my relationship but are willing to accept it.

I guess that I am just sad that you might not be talking to me and tell you that it's okay if you need time to think about it all and ask that you tell me the same thing as my parents did...I am not asking for you to like it, but I am asking for you to accept it and still be my best friend.

Also, I was there for you with no judgement whatsoever with the whole D and C situation. I am not going to drag that all up or anything but I just want you to realize that I didn't say one negative word about the whole situation the entire time that you were thinking about all that stuff with D...

Please consider all of this and please talk to me...I love you.

Kiki"

The last paragraph is about in the middle of school last year my best friend was texting this guy named D...who happens to be my cousin, also dating mine and best friends other friend C...they were texting about how D doesn't really love C anymore and that they wanted to lose their virginities to each other behind C's back...she had asked me what I thought and I told her that I think it's wrong to do that behind her back but whatever you decide, I am here for you because she had a lot of back history with D...so this is her reply to my message...

"im not talking to u right now cause i told u not to get back together with robert and oh look what u go and do. get back together with him. hes not right for u. obviously it doesnt matter what i say though cause when we talked at ur house that one night i thought that u were done with him but clearly i was mistaken. i dont like how u dont even listen to a word i say about him. i have been here for u for a long ass time and it still seems like what ever i say u dont wanna hear. im tired of supporting u through all this crap when everyone else isnt there because i feel like im just wasting my time. things r just getting ridiculous and idk if i can be friends with u much longer with the way that things r going."

My reply back...

"Are you serious? There are plenty of times when you haven't listened to me about things and we got into a fight. I don't know where you got the impression that I was over or done with Robert. It had been like a week after me and him broke up...I was no where even close to being over him so I don't know where you got that. You said "you're not going to get back together with him are you?" and I told you that if I did, things would be different. And they are different, I don't see how you can't see that...I am trying to make them different between us because I was stupid the first time around and now I am not making the same mistakes. I also don't understand how you can't see that Robert has been one of the best people that I have ever had in my life and he makes me feel so good about myself and he makes me happy...why doesn't that matter to you? I would be depressed without him...but whatever obviously that doesn't really matter because my relationship is "all about sex" and I need to "be with someone my own age"...whatever I don't know when you started to be so judgemental on my life and relationship but it hurts that you would start doing it now..."

Her reply..

"ya well idk what exactly is going on with u 2 and how its different at all. i dont see how u can say that u would be depressed without robert? i have been here for u but obviously that doesnt matter because u dont feel like u can talk to me about stuff i guess. just cause he makes u feel good about urself doesnt mean that hes right for u. have u ever thought about that? there r other guys in the world u know and just cause a few guys in the past havent been what u were looking for doesnt mean that u have to settle for whatever else comes along. i dont see y u even need a bf right now anyways. look at me i dont have one and im doing perfectly fine. im happy and doing good in school, have a good family life and pretty much couldnt ask for much more except for my best friend to go back to the way she use to be before she went all stupid. i did not say that ur relationship was all about sex but u r right that i said u should be with someone ur own age and u honestly cant tell me that u dont know anyone ur own age that wants a serious relationship! u can call me judgemental i dont really care im finally standing up for myself instead of just being the supportive friend that goes along with everything. maybe i guess u could say im being a bitch i dont really give a shit im just tired of all this crap and i want things to go back to normal. so u know whenever u decide to come back to the real world and be the kiki that i have known for like my whole life let me know."

My reply...

"Okay Kari, I want you to think about something...I am not you! I see that you are fine and happy and everything without having a boyfriend. But I am not. I was single for like 4 years before Robert and it was all good, but I want a relationship. Why shouldn't I be in a relationship right now? Just because I am in college, doesn't mean that I should experience all of the typical college experiences. And I'm not "settling" with Robert, I honestly really do love him, and you know what? Maybe he won't be the one for me in the future...I want to be with him forever, but no relationship is guaranteed and you know what else, that is why they call it dating. I don't have to be with him forever...I love him and he makes me happy and that is right for me right now...

I am trying to be myself but it makes it really hard realizing that the fact that my own best friend won't get over this and explain to me why it is such a big deal that I am with the man that I am with. Age shouldn't matter.

I guess it is just really hard that through everything that we have been through, and with how many times I have been there for you and just supported you with everything, that the one in a few chances that I need you to back me up, and you don't...why is that? I am trying to be the person that you know and are talking about, but you won't even let me try with you because I am with Robert...that shouldn't even matter...you should just be able to trust and believe me when I say that I am how I used to be...but whatever I don't appreciate the times that you have been there and I don't "trust you to talk to about stuff." What stuff are you talking about?? Because I talk to you about EVERYTHING!! Whatever Kari, I love you like the sister that I have never had and I am sorry that things have gotten to be like this..."

And this is the reply that I just got back from her...

"i know that ur not im not stupid. if u want a relationship with robert then y dont u actually have one with him and not him and nell? i dont even consider that a relationship because hes with another girl but obviously u like the 3some so it really doesnt matter what i say.

you are so not back to the way u use to be and if u r well not to me anyways. u act different and i dont like it but u know whatever u wanna do go ahead and do it cause i know that whatever i say to u isnt going to change the person u r now.

im actually glad that this is happening now because now i can find a new best friend in college while i still have the chance. oh and tell nell to not message me on myspace. this is none of her fucking business and idk y u would even bring her into this whole thing anyways. but really im not joking this friendship is OVER!!!!!"

So I guess I am just really hurt and confused...I just lost my best friend...why would she go from being my #1 supporter to being worse than my parents?? I don't get it...*sigh* Please help, I am at a loss...Oh and sorry that this is so long...