by, January 19th, 2009 at 03:01 AM (428 Views)
It's a good thing I don't have children in the home. I have one of those killer bathtubs and tonight as I was draining the water I swear it sounded hungry. DD has opened my eyes to the death lure of the bathtub. I am vigilant.
The smelly guy at work that gets too close inside my personal space with his pants unzipped probably isn't just a gross, innocent fella. I bet he's a sex offender who gets off having his open fly at my face level when I'm sitting and he's standing too close. I am disgusted.
My bed is starting to appear like a killer too. I'm afraid of falling off and hitting the floor so hard that my head will shatter and I'll also get radial type breaks on my legs. I am considering a helmet.
The doting dad at the nearby park? The one just a little too touchy-feely with his kids? Possibly raping his children. I am suspicious.
I feel the need to change clothes under the bed covers (even though the bed probably plans to kill me). I want to install a shower curtain around the toilet and start bathing in the dark. This is a rent house and after reading some of the stories on here, I won't be surprised if there are hidden cameras in my bathroom or bedroom. I am not ready for my close-up Mr DeMille.
My sofa is in on the plot with the bathtub and the bed. Although I haven't been injured yet, one of the pups has slid off and hurt his back leg. I'm watching those heavy wooden legs on the couch, I just know it's aiming them my way when I'm barefoot -and walking in the dark to hide from the hidden cameras some perverted handy-man has installed in my house. I am NOT crazy.
These are just a few of the new ways I have of looking at what used to be ordinary for me. Thanks DD and you regular posters here for opening my eyes to the dangers.