Toy Box

So it begins. This morning, at around 2:30, my cocaine and whore party was interrupted by the ringing of my telephone. As I crawled out of bed...er, finished a line off the tits of a model, I answered.

"You call me?" the other end asked
"Nope" I stated
"Who is this?" they asked.
"Who the fuck is this?" I asked back

They hang up.

Hey, it has happened before, it will happen again. We have all gotten them. Hell, I used to get calls from a woman almost every weekend. She would get my number mixed with her bf, and would be drunk as hell begging me to come get her out of jail. For a few weeks I would let her know she had the wrong number, but she didn't believe it and would end up calling me names...as well as Charles. Finally, one night I simply told her that I was on my way and to sit tight. Never heard back from her after that.

Anyway, I scrolled through my recently called numbers to see who called and see that it is from Private Number. As were the 2 calls before that one that I must have slept....partied...through. Shit. Then, like clockwork, they call back.

"Why you be trippin'?" An obvious kid asks me.
"Motherfucker, you are going to be trippin' as soon as I find your goddamn number in about 5 minutes."

They laugh and hang up.

A few screw ups there on my part. I answered, they saw that I was mad, and I lied about getting their umber and they knew it. So, of course, they called back. Instead of answering, I took this time to take a piss, and then simply turned my ringers off. Back to bed...er, I mean, back to the models who were all whining for my attention.

This morning, like a fisherman checking his traps, I check the CallerID. Sure enough, they called 4 more recorded times throughout the early morning hours. I say "recorded" because one of the tricks they were using as I turned the ringers down on my phones earlier, was to just let it ring for half a ring. Fuckers. So I figure I will call ATT tomorrow with the times and see what they can do about getting me an acutal number.

As I typed this, another call.

"Did I wake you, sleepy boy?" A kid, using a real high-pitched voice asked.
"No." I answered calmly, waiting to barrage them with the future pain I was going to inflict on them once I got their number.
"Fag." he states and hangs up.

Motherfucker. So it seems I am dealing with ME when I was 12. Karma is a bitch. But that's ok, as I got payback for making similar calls when I was a kid, in the days before CallerID, when I ran across a guy who threatened to trace the call we had made to him. A statement that we all laughed at before calling him a cocksucker and hanging up. He called us back 2 minutes later. It was the end of my prank calling career.

Hopefully, I will get the same joy of ending these fuckers career as well. I suspect they are friends or acquaintances of my kid. We will soon find out. So, in order to not forget about the times and such, and maybe help out anyone else who gets such calls, I will document the progress of me trying to track down these kids.

Call Log:

2:06
2:08
2:09
2:10
2:11
4:12
4:13
4:14
4:19
9:13