Peeperann
A Message for All Women
by , January 1st, 2009 at 02:31 PM (717 Views)
This is for all women who are unsure what’s happening to them in their relationships. After I got divorced, I met a man who seemed perfect. He was so sweet and funny and attentive. He made me laugh and told me I was beautiful and smart. He always called me his "Angel". He would do anything for me, cook, clean, give me foot rubs. I fell completely in love with him. But, after a while, I noticed a change. He started to get moody and wanted to left alone. We had already moved in together, so it was hard to understand why he wanted to be alone. Then, he would blow up over nothing. He would tell me I was being stupid and I was blowing it out of proportion. Then everything would be great for a few days, maybe a week. Then he'd blow up again, over nothing. Again, he'd say I was stupid, that it was my fault. I was in his face too much, or he didn't like the dinner I’d cooked. He'd say I never did anything right and that I was worthless. He'd call me "stupid bitch", tell me I was fat, (which I’m not). Then I’d cry and tell him I didn't deserve to be treated like that. He'd apologize and be great for a few days. Then things got much worse, when he'd blow up, he would call me filthy names, like, whore, slut and some I’m not sure I should post on here. He also started pushing me, and even spit in my face.
I threw him out of my house, as I knew I deserved better than that. But after a day or two, he call and be crying and saying things like, "if it weren't for you, I’d be dead already", and how much he loved and needed me. He even went to counseling as I told him I wouldn't take him back unless he did. Well, he was great for about a month, then he blew up again, and called me filthy names, broke a bunch of furniture and grabbed my hair and slammed into a door frame, spit in my face again and punched me. He rarely actually hit me or hurt me physically, mostly it was just words, but I can tell you, words hurt so much more.
I threw him out again, and again, after a few days, of him crying and begging, I took him back. I'm still not sure why, guess I thought i'd be the one who could "save" him. It got to the point; he'd steal my car while I was at work, get drunk and total it. He did that twice. He got put in jail for 2-3 days for that, and couple of times for domestic abuse. But he was always out in a few days. Finally, after 2 1/2 years, I could take no more, I threw him out and was determined I would never take him back. I even got an emergency protection order. Well, one night he called my phone about 30 times, I wouldn't answer, finally I listened to a voice mail he'd left and it said he was on his way to my house. I called him and told him I’d call 911, He said go ahead, he was only 5 minutes away and would probably get there before the police did. I called 911 immediately, but as soon as I hung up, he was already at my front door. I called 911 back and told them he was already there. He was pounding on the door, saying he loved me and just needed to talk to me. I was still on the phone with 911, then I heard my door frame start to crack, I started screaming for help, he tore my door off its hinges, threw it across my living room and ran up the stairs, grabbed my left wrist and started dragging me down the stairs. He broke that wrist, two of my ribs at that point. Then he threw me to the floor in front of my doorway and started slamming my head on the ceramic tile. He was also bashing my face with his forehead; he broke my nose and fractured my skull in the back. I also had a huge cut where my head had bashed, and it took almost 30 staples to close. I was bruised from top to bottom for weeks.
If I hadn't called to police before he got there, I’d be dead now. He actually saw them coming up the driveway and jumped off me and grabbed the door, I crawled over by my stairs and he tried holding the door into the frame. He told them not to come in, or I’d be dead before they got to me. Thank God, they just pushed the door down and tackled him. As they were putting me into the ambulance, He was shouting that he loved me and would never hurt me. Thank God, he pled guilty, (I mean they had all the evidence anyway) and is now in prison for a long time.
What I want other women to get from this, is it starts with just words. Maybe it won't progress to the physical, maybe it will. But your body can heal from its wounds. It takes a lot longer for your heart and emotions to heal. So if any of you are going through anything even remotely like this, get out now. If you need help to get out, ask, there is so much help out there.
I hope this helps even just one person, God bless.
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