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Rhoni

DD is my therapy

Rating: 3 votes, 5.00 average.
10 Comments
by
Rhoni
, November 22nd, 2008 at 02:08 PM (667 Views)
I felt the need to write and ramble a little or maybe a lot who knows when I start to write I never know how or where it will end..You will have to excuse my typos though my fingers have a hard time keeping up with my thoughts and I am not the best typer..(is that a word)

I found DD through googling a case I am sure we all know what case :) It doesn't matter how I found it I am just glad I did.You would be amazed and shocked if you could step into my mind for a short time..

I can relate to some of the stories here...I have lived a couple..The difference being I was one of the lucky ones I got out alive and I am not in prison, in a nut hut,living on the streets or on drugs (well depends on if you count maryjane as a drug and thats debatable and for another blog) ..

I feel most of these stories to the core of my heart..I cry for all the children who didn't make it out..I aspire to be a better person in their honor..You hear to many criminals use the excuse they were abused as a child and that is why they are like they are ..Well I say BULLSHIT..

I was abused but I never killed, molested kidnapped,carjacked or robbed anyone in my life..It is a lame excuse to use your past as an excuse for your present..I mean don't get me wrong I have issues I know stem from my childhood but I work on them..

From the moment I started reading DD something good happened..I wanted to be even better I have seriously calmed down a whole lot..I stop to think more before I speak and that is a major accomplishment for me..I want to be the exception not a statistic..I refuse to let what my parents and the state did to me decide who or what I will be, or how I will act as an adult..That is if I ever decide to grow up and be an adult..

This site really has been great therapy for me I told Imp she should probably charge me hourly :)~ I have met some really awesome people here..Some very caring thoughtful people..I have also laughed my ass off on numerous occasions at the sarcastic and witty people..

I am sarcastic opinionated and sometimes to outspoken for my own good but I have a heart like oatmeal all mushy and shit..It makes for a very interesting combination in a person..

I guess I have rambled on enough my main point to all this was a HUGE thanks to all my fellow Demons and to the site for helping me be a better me..


Rhoni

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  1. Sister Iroz's Avatar
    Rhoni, thanks so much for sharing. I know your life had to definitely have it's ups and downs (probably more downs growing up) and I'm sorry you had to go through it. Sounds like you have definitely learned a lot in life and on DD and ready to release, share and help others. I am here anytime you need a friend to talk too.

    Love Special
  2. Peeperann's Avatar
    Ah (((Rhoni))) my sweet. If they only really knew what you have been thru, people would know the true hero you are.

    I hate to think of what you have been thru, but, it has made you the strong, empathetic, amazing person you are today. You are a survivor, not a victim! And i'm more blessed than you know to call you my friend.
  3. Rhoni's Avatar
    You know you 2 are the ones who started it..I felt like I could talk to you guys that night in DD ..I believe things happen for a reason..I was meant to find this site and through it continue to heal..
  4. Harley_Tech's Avatar
    So where are your boobie pictures again? :)

    R
  5. Stella's Avatar
    I'm so glad you felt the need to write and ramble a bit. Like you, I stumbled upon DD at the beginning of the Caylee ordeal and just found a spot where I felt comfortable.

    It took me years to realize that I was (verbally) abused by my mom due to circumstance that were out of my control (birth defect); and that led me into a marriage where the verbal abuse continued.

    After a bit of therapy (only 6 weeks), I realized it wasn't me after all. Much to the dismay of my mom, I left this person who constantly verbally abused me and had many, many affairs. I left an upscale lifestyle, moved into an apartment I could afford all by myself.

    Now I am who I should be. Not who he thinks I should be; not who my mom thinks I should be. I am Stella -- take it or leave it.

    Congrats to you, Rhoni. Special told me you were a great person. (And make Harley look for your boobie pics, don't tell him where they are.)
  6. MadmamainNC's Avatar
    Rhoni, I'm so glad you shared with us. I too am a survivor of abuse, but of the spousal kind. It breaks you down and kills your spirit. It took me a long time to learn that I can be loved.
    I went from an unloving father to an unloving, controlling, physically and mentally abusive husband. I was almost 40 when I realized that I had value and self worth. Sometimes, I get days when I feel those old feelings come back and doubt myself as a person.

    I found this site through "the case" and lurked for a good bit before mustering up the courage to speak on the boards. I haven't shut up since. But it's therapeutic. I find it's helpful to be reminded daily, how not to act as well as a 24/7 group therapy session on here.

    We're all like a family of misfits when you think about it and maybe that's what we all have in common and why we are so comfortable being here.

    I have a funny to share. We had the house torn apart yesterday with moving around furniture to make room for our many guest coming on Thursday. Anyway, on top of all the chaos, I decide to go through every drawer in the house and shred paper or old bills and paint the dinning room. Let's just say it was a seriously dysfunctional cleaning rampage on my part. The house looked like a cyclone hit it. Anyway, my girls were getting tired and it was 11:00pm. We've been working all day. They want to go to bed and leave the rest for morning (keep in mind they are 20 and 24). What do I flip off with?
    "OMG, you can't leave this mess like this, What if Tristian(my granddaughter) gets up and trips over something and gets hurt?" Social services will come in here and take her away and the pictures of the living room and dinning room will end up on DD.
    My girls about died. Sam's response was..."OH God, The Catholic guilt stopped working years ago, now she's using Dreamin' Demons to get us to do stuff. Mom, you have ISSUES!!!!!" End result, in an hour, everything was neat and tidy and back in it's spot. We were exhausted!
  7. Rhoni's Avatar
    LOL Madmama using DD to get them to do stuff and it worked!!! That was great thank you for sharing
  8. Smore9564's Avatar
    Hi Rhoni.. Just wanted to say thanks for sharing and "rock on sister"!!!!!!!!
    Love ya
    sheri
  9. Lizard's Avatar
    If imp won't take your hard-earned money, I will. I'll send you my address and only charge you hourly. You'll be contributing to my ability to obsessively collect worthless things, and we all know, that's a good thing.

    Or, just keep posting your shit to the RLD. Cuz damn, you're HAWT!
  10. Trish's Avatar
    Thanks for sharing your blog Rhoni. Sorry that I somehow missed it until Today. I have a great deal of respect for you my friend. So many people use their past as an excuse. You have used your past to strengthen yourself,to become a better person every day. I am so glad that you found DD and that we have had a chance to get to know each other.