Silvahalo

I read so many postings regarding children involved in abuse. Some on this site and a couple of other sites where I try to help bring awareness on child abuse on the staggering number of cases that occur daily.

Did you know that roughly, 2,4000 cases a DAY occur in the U.S. alone? FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!!! FUCK, LORD CHRIST PLEASE LET ME KILL THE BASTARDS WHO DO THIS SICK SHIT!!

It is beyond me that children, infants for godsake are beaten, stabbed, punched, mutilated, burned, decapitated, dropped, raped...the list goes on and on and on....

Now I consider myself a decent, person..no where near perfect. I have a bit of temper,
(na, ya think?), I'm not much of a house-keeper and I can cook well but don't do it as often as I should...but at the end of the day, my babies are feed, clean, loved and meticulously cared for in every other need they may have.

So then tell me this....

Why do I want so badly to kill every fucking loser, bastard I read about???!!?!?!
I swear, I swear, if I could find away to kill them and not lose my sanity, my soul and my babies I'D DO IT!!! YES, I'D DO IT!!!!! I FUCKING HATE BABY KILLERS!!!!!! I FUCKING HATE BABY KILLER, HATE THE CREATURES, THE VILE CANCER OF A PUTRID SOUL!!!
LORD CHRIST - MOTHER OF GOD--- PLEASE HEP ME BECAUSE I'M GOING TO KILL THESE BASTARDS!!!!!!!...in my dreams I suppose it will have to do.

But you see...I'm cursed and blessed at the same time. When I do something I do it with passion and commit to it. So being a mother is all consuming and I adore being just that...but when I read about the BABY KILLERS out there, I feel myself changing....I want to draw my Katana sword and go hunting. I can feel the glow about me as my passion to rid the world of these bastards consumes my every pore...I smell like a fuck'n slayer, a knight that kills for the helpless...the hopeless.

Someday, I just can't take the fact that a beautiful innocent soul has died. Found alone, dirty and abandoned as trash. Or beaten beyond recognition so that its tiny head is deformed due to multiple fractures. Even more, when I read of death so vile, so heinous that the stench of death bleeds from the pages I read...a baby stabbed 135 times minutes after leaving the womb...my heart literately hurts...I ache...every single muscle, bone aches. I physically got ill after a couple cases I read caused me to retch.

When the hate and anger subside, and eventually it does, I pray and hug my children...and for a while my world again is perfect.

But then I go to bed and lay there thinking how warm, safe and loved I am and out there countless children have nothing....don't know the warmth of a bed, a mother or father who love them...to be feed and clothed with care. To be kissed good night

...so....

to get to sleep...I kiss them good night in my heart, in my soul and tell them I love them and that I am their warrior...their Seraphim Knight.

Sleep sweet little ones...