What is your sign? (Part 3)
by, October 7th, 2008 at 01:24 PM (280 Views)
Virgo (Aug 24 - Sept. 23)--
This is the MOST confused sign on the planet. This sign is pretty realistic: No Frills. They love to fuck in showers not because it's kinky...but because of hygenic reasons...they are big into sanitary issues. Every Virgo I have ever met has issues...always going back to hygiene. They have to arrange time in their busy schedules to have sex...But when a reservation is made...You had better be there on time, if not a little early. With flowers. And Clean.
Virgos want to make their partner happy. That's it. USUALLY. You will always get a freaky Virgo. Even so, they will TRY to get YOU to cum. And if they can't make you cum, they will buy someone or something that will.
Yes you read that right.
They LIVE to touch...whether its you rubbing them, them rubbing you...them rubbing against your fox fur coat...whatever! Some Virgos WANT to be punished. They will do naughty things to be caught so they can be punished. They are perfect for Aries who want to punish SOMEBODY. Anybody! Pretend rape scenes also turn on Virgos. As long as they know they are secretly safe. If you have ever seen the Carnival Rape scene in 'Henry & June' this is a Virgo wet dream. Also all Virgos like to see Camel Toes...what's up with that? Sherlock Holmes was probably a Virgo...or a repressed Gemini.
Libra (Sept. 24 - Oct. 22)--
Let the games begin! Libra will try anything once. Twice to make sure they liked it. Three times to be absolutely sure. Do not touch a Libra's head during oral sex...that may work with an Aries, but not here. Libras LOVE giving oral - They LOVE getting it, too. But don't feel like they get enough...too bad, because they sure as hell are getting enough of everything else. They will buy toys to make YOU use it on THEM. Libras are mental creatures that believe in living and fulfilling fantasies that they haven't done in real life...which is rare because they have done almost EVERYTHING. They have no problem sploshing. To them, sitting in a pie COULD be fun. Porn? Bring it on! Sex, video AND food? ALRIGHT! They are heavily exhibitionistic by accident. They are accident prone, they lose bras, underwear, condoms....they also accidentally end up in bed with people. Amazing how THAT works! They like to cross dress. Both sexes do this quite well, actually. Male Librans are mistaken for women all the time, and Female Libras are mistaken for men every now and again too...its because they are under the goddess Aphrodite. They are never just ONE sex. They can always feel what the opposite sex feels. Which is why they are rarely clingy, except in rare circumstances when they have been led on, then watch the manipulative side of the scales swing. They love to role play and play dress up. They like to dress like hookers or Queen Elizabeth (This is the men, too!) Who are they really? It depends on what day of the week it is. They believe that life is too short to date ugly people in more ways than one. So if you are being shagged by a Libra, there is a good reason. Whether you are attractive physically, emotionally, mentally or have a fantastic sense of humor, there is always a reason for a Libra to be fucking you. But they HATE vulgarity. They despise feeling like they are on a waiting list to get your attention...worse yet, feeling like they are your groupie. That won't last long, then. They have already figured out HOW to destroy you...now they are biding their time to see how long until they throw YOU away...with nothing. But, if you get past all that, expect long luxurious nights talking and playing Strip Tarot or Naked Chess. They are the Graceful Slut...but not slutty and yet accident prone. If you are going to fuck a Libra: Get mirrors. Lots of them. They have more vanity issues than a Gemini. Nothing is TOO kinky for them. They are the eternal Courtesan or Concubine. They are sex therapists, porn writers who knows?
SCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov. 22) --
HOLEE SHIT! here comes the masters and mistresses of FUCKing
Sorry Leo, but Scorps ARE the leaders in the Kink O Rama factor (Leos are in second place, so don't worry that much leos)
Scorpios KNOW how to seduce.
They KNOW what is kinky.
They are highly manipulative.
They KNOW how to get you to do what THEY want.
They KNOW how to fuck.
And they are making room for modifications.
All they have to do is walk into a room and look at you, and you WILL be on your back assuming the position.
Leos and Scorpios make for a fabulous tryst.they are the BEST in bed together..but if the emotions are not there then that's a different story. Don't dare TRY to make a Scorpio jealous...they will duct tape you to a chair and make you watch them fuck your boss..or your sister/brother..or Mother...hell, that's their idea of a typical normal Thursday night. They love to use gag balls. They always have carpet burns on their knees and back...this is from their constant rutting like a wild weasel in heat. They are also very cunning and secretive.. They have a fetish for riding crops and bridles. Most Scorpios have mastered the Binaca Blowjob for heightened and elongated pleasure. I hope you can go the distance and can make them come...otherwise gods help ya.
Favorite Song: Master and Servant.
Most female Scorpios have a horrible tendency of being Alcohol Lesbians...get them drunk enough they will kiss a girl...or two....or three...or five....
but beware their sting!
Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21) --
Just for starters...THEY LOVE TO BE SHAVED.
True love is being shaved. Sagittarius love is being shaved by someone they love.
And they LOVE to travel. They are constantly moving. They are always packing and going somewhere. They are the outdoorsy type. Why fuck in a tent when you can be surrounded by Sequoias under a moonlit night and have sex? Sags will Fuck Everywhere! Most Sags flash body parts and are closet nudists. They will be the first to register for nude volleyball at the nudist resort. Don't get me wrong, they have a TON of provocative clothing at home, but they like to be naked. EVERYWHERE.
They don't know why its against the law to drive naked in a convertible especially. It just doesn't seem right. They are also bleeding heart cause fighters. They believe that sex is a biological function amongst friends...why fight it when you can fuck it? A perfect night for them is to :
Talk. Fuck. Talk. Fuck. Go out and look at sea otters..Pick some flowers...Talk. Fuck. Laugh. Have a drink. Talk. Fuck. Dinner. Fuck. Sleep. Fuck and Fuck some more!
Male Sags have more fetishes than a female Sag. Foot fetishes...Lingerie...Female Sags are nature lovers: Do it in the bushes, Sex on the beach, in the ocean, hell behind the local laundry mat! Kinky? they Love Kinky. Wear that pirate getup for these girls, they'll be on their knees in a heartbeat. They'll dress kinky and skip the panties under a short skirt if you're going out on the town, just to get you going, and I do mean going~ these girls want it all night long! Whipped cream, body oils and bondage, Licking and sucking, whatever it takes to keep the party going! . They believe in doing it and doing it often! fucking before the movie starts..., fucking at the theatre during the previews and maybe a quick blowjob on the way home.
Sag females love sexing up your whole body! Give them a chance, there won't be a body part they haven't sucked licked or fucked! You can touch them anywhere and they got hot because they're freaky like that! They love leg rubs and Jacuzzis, this is because their thighs are a hot spot...They'll be the ones holding you up fucking in the closet at your friends housewarming party at two in the morning. They are built for lot and lots of sex in any way shape or form, kinky or slow teasing, fast and hard or slow and easy if you want to get your freak on, Sagittarians are the way to go! None of the other signs love Sex as Much as a Sag!