moonlilly1981

Some people thrive on drama. Im not one of them. I hate it with every single ounce of me. There are a few people in my life who seem to crave it, and in turn seek it out.

I finnaly ended up having to enroll my son in daycare. Didnt want to as its expensive and when I moved in with my best friend and her husband I was told that she would take care of my two while I was at work. I was supposed to be able to save money and get fully back on my feet. But it just wasnt working out for my boy. Its expensive and takes up half my weekly pay check. But he is doing really well. He loves it there and dosnt want to come home in the evening now.

Since I enrolled him we havnt had as many behavior problems. Granted he still gets angry. He still raises his hand to me when he gets angry. He even told my boyfriend that Im not the boss of him but hes the boss of me. He gets that shit from his father. Even though his dad only sees him about once a month it is still rubbing off. But I know in time he wont be as angry and will go back to being the sweet boy I know.

His new pediatrician tried to kill him. Kota needed a couple of shots and I told the dr straight up that he had a bad reaction to the dpt. The dpt was injected into his thigh and the next day he had a welt the size of a soft ball. Raised, red, and hot to the touch. I told the dr about it when I picked up his shot records for the daycare. He said "oh its normal just put ice on it and give him motrin." I did and nothing happened so I started giving him benadryl. I know an allergic reaction when I see one. When I dropped him off at daycare thursday morning it was still the size of a softball even with benadryl. When I picked him up from daycare that evening he sounded like he was losing his voice. By the time I went to put him in the bath his whole thigh from an inch above the knee up to the hip bone was raised, red, hot to the touch, and starting to turn purple. I knew then that it was serious and his thoat was actually closing up. So I rushed him to urgent care where they put him on a crap load of meds. Thankfully Jordan watched my daughter cause it was getting late and was a school night. When I got home it was after eleven and they were both laying in my bed watching a movie. Silly man didnt know she shouldnt be up that late, and of course Savannah wasnt about to tell him that.

As of this morning when I got him dressed you can barely even tell that he had a reaction to it. His voice is back to normal, and the reaction on his thigh is almost gone. I only really see it because I knew it was there.

My love life is great too. Learning how to trust seems to be the only hurdle in our way. Sadly its not him who is having a hard time trusting its me. Im cynical and always think something bad is going to happen when it comes to relationships with other human beings. Its not just in romantic relationships either its all of them. Family, friends, coworkers, and pretty much anyone else. Im one who rarely ever lets me guard down. And there are only a small handful of people I have opened up to. I never ask for help unless im at the end of my rope and he dosnt understand that. Money is never an issue for him. Me however its always an issue. I'm trying to get bills paid off. Its happening but its a slow process. But no matter what I say he dosnt quite get that I dont like it when he spends money on me. That yeah I need stuff fixed on my car and my cell phone bill is coming due again but I dont want or need him to pay for those things. If he takes me out then cool go right ahead and pay. But I dont need him to take care of me. I'm a grown ass woman and I can pay for my own stuff. We arn't married, dont even live in the same house. He just stays over all the time. Maybe I will let him buy groceries and that will make him feel better. Hes there all the time anyways.

But its boundries all the time with me. Rules here and regs there...I dont know why he puts up with it. But we are equals in this relationship. Both of us put forth the effort its not just one sided. I had that with my last two relationships. It didnt pan out because of it. We both do what we want, when we want, and how we want. Thats what I have been looking for and thats what I need. My kids are just that my kids. His kids are his kids, if either of us needs help on a particular day with watching them we ask and as long as we are able to we will watch each others kids. Its a learning process. I had to learn that his kids cant pet strangers dogs at the park even if the owner says its okay and im right there. And he had to learn that Savannah can't stay up past nine on a school night