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Scribbles & Musings

I'm sad.

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8 Comments
by
ScribbleMuse
, December 23rd, 2009 at 03:40 PM (394 Views)
I have this rare Christmas spirit and am too broke to do anything with it. My jeep is broken down because of a minor (thank God, CHEAP) problem with the battery or some such crap. My daughter is in another state, doing her usual thing with Granny, Papaw, Aunt & Uncle.

I know things are technically fine and this is just the storm before the calm, but right now I just feel sad. It's been a rough time, as much as I was pissed at getting fired it didn't help the fact that I was fired, and it didn't stop my feelings being absurdly hurt. Being unemployed has sucked ass. I've put out resumes in more than 50 places, but the holidays have slowed my profession in terms of hiring.

Again, I'm not bitching too much because I realize that I'm blessed in a million ways, first being that I'll be getting unemployment even if it won't start until next month. I swallowed my guilt because frankly, what happened to me was not fair, and I've been paying unemployment taxes all my life, so screw the guilt. I can accept it for a month or two until I get back on my feet. Also, the loans for school came through and toward the end of January I'll be getting a great boost from those.

So I know life is only suck right NOW. But I'm still sad today. I'm tired of trying to stay positive, and to be honest I just want to cry and wail and bitch and whine and do every other messy and absurd thing I can think of. Sorry to unload here but I am trying to hide these sorts of things from my friends and family and yet need to get them out--I feel better already.

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Comments

  1. TheMeaningOfItAll's Avatar
    ((Hug)) Sometimes it just feels good to let it all out. We all have sad days. Hang in there, Scrib!
  2. ScribbleMuse's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by TheMeaningOfItAll
    ((Hug)) Sometimes it just feels good to let it all out. We all have sad days. Hang in there, Scrib!
    Thanks Meaning. :) It definitely did feel good, in addition to the 'exercise' I got a while ago (which is posted about in the general forum since I figured a good example of someone else's REALLY stupid stupidity would lift someone else's spirits too and it's always good to me to laugh at myself).

    It also helps to concentrate on those good things that I mentioned, because I've been in much worse places, made worse because there was no way that I could see out from them. I try not to be annoyingly optimistic, but at the same time, I do try to stay positive or else I have a major tendency to turn into an Eeyore/Debbie Downer quite easily.

    Life is good, just sometimes boring and semi-hard. lol
  3. Nell's Avatar
    Do what I do. Cuss out in your head who is pissin you off lately. For me it is usually someone here. Then take a hot shower and cry. After you get out smoke a bowl or get a drink then watch a comedy you have seen before. One you know will make you laugh. It works. Hope you feel better.
  4. ScribbleMuse's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Nell
    Do what I do. Cuss out in your head who is pissin you off lately. For me it is usually someone here. Then take a hot shower and cry. After you get out smoke a bowl or get a drink then watch a comedy you have seen before. One you know will make you laugh. It works. Hope you feel better.
    Great advice. Except the bowl, since I don't have any and that makes me feel like crying. I really, really, really really wish I had one but have none. Sigh. I have never in my life wanted some more than I want some now! lol

    And for some reason, I'm real good at crying today, and keep doing it, so the thought of sitting in the shower for a while and doing it seems like the best idea I've heard in a looooong time.

    As for the comedy, I'm on my way to get the Hangover and Four Christmases in a bit, which I've reserved at a RedBox. I haven't seen either, so I'm hoping they're as good as I've been looking forward to. Again, they sound like just the remedy.

    You are one of the smartest people I know right now based on this most excellent advice! *grin* You oughta have a round with my hubby to teach him a few things. He wanted to help me by getting me a ride to where his brother is decorating his mom's christmas tree. I love the man, but golly he has no idea how to handle me sometimes... lol
  5. moonlilly1981's Avatar
    Sometimes we just need a good cry. Dont feel bad just let it all out.
  6. ~Absynthe~'s Avatar
    I agree with all the posts someday s we need a good cry a bowl a few good comedy's a blog so we can let it all out a bubble bath or shower keep yer head up darling it will all come out in the wash .take care of yourself and have a wonderful holidayhugs
  7. malq's Avatar
    I hate crows. They caw in the morning and wake me up. I wait till I have a mood like that and then I give them both barrels when they take over a tree. Nothing like a Double Barrel 12 gauge scattering crows to cheer me up.
  8. ScribbleMuse's Avatar
    *hugs* to everyone.

    Feeling much better today--slept on the couch last night b/c I fell asleep watching old episodes of NCIS and didn't feel like getting up when I felt the sleepy coming on, so I have a crick in my neck, but something about sleeping in "new" surroundings is neat.

    And I wish I had something I hated enough to shoot at because that WOULD be a mood buster. However, I only hate molestors and child abusers that much, and I'd be pissed to spend time in jail for ridding the world of that trash. Sigh. So I guess for now I'll depend on shower sobbing, finding people to argue with, and comedies... lol And of course posting around here, which is sure to bring on a smile. :)