by, December 23rd, 2009 at 03:40 PM (394 Views)
I have this rare Christmas spirit and am too broke to do anything with it. My jeep is broken down because of a minor (thank God, CHEAP) problem with the battery or some such crap. My daughter is in another state, doing her usual thing with Granny, Papaw, Aunt & Uncle.
I know things are technically fine and this is just the storm before the calm, but right now I just feel sad. It's been a rough time, as much as I was pissed at getting fired it didn't help the fact that I was fired, and it didn't stop my feelings being absurdly hurt. Being unemployed has sucked ass. I've put out resumes in more than 50 places, but the holidays have slowed my profession in terms of hiring.
Again, I'm not bitching too much because I realize that I'm blessed in a million ways, first being that I'll be getting unemployment even if it won't start until next month. I swallowed my guilt because frankly, what happened to me was not fair, and I've been paying unemployment taxes all my life, so screw the guilt. I can accept it for a month or two until I get back on my feet. Also, the loans for school came through and toward the end of January I'll be getting a great boost from those.
So I know life is only suck right NOW. But I'm still sad today. I'm tired of trying to stay positive, and to be honest I just want to cry and wail and bitch and whine and do every other messy and absurd thing I can think of. Sorry to unload here but I am trying to hide these sorts of things from my friends and family and yet need to get them out--I feel better already.