http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/blog.php?1338-KiKi en Sun, 19 May 2013 06:44:35 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/blog.php?1338-KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?1273-continued Wed, 14 Jul 2010 07:49:57 GMT Image: http://i32.tinypic.com/2uyhoy0.jpg Middle of creepy alley. Right before Bella gets saved by creepers. Image:...
Middle of creepy alley. Right before Bella gets saved by creepers.


Restaurant that Bella and Edward eat at after he saves her.


Parking lot that Bella is saved in.


The house ]]> KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?1273-continued http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?1272-Twilight-trip-pics Wed, 14 Jul 2010 07:48:46 GMT Okay, so here are the pics from the trip to St. Helens to see the "Twilight" sights. I was pretty excited (I'm a "Twilight" nerd, I know)...so here are the pics. Enjoy!


In front of Charlie/Bella's house.


Creepy alley that creepy guys follow Bella in.


Bookstore that is supposedly in Port Angeles, WA.


Dress shop.

to be continued... ]]> KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?1272-Twilight-trip-pics http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?1261-Hmmm Sat, 19 Jun 2010 08:26:52 GMT There has been one thing that has always bothered me. I have never said it out loud, afraid that it would sound like the craziest or dumbest thing to... There has been one thing that has always bothered me. I have never said it out loud, afraid that it would sound like the craziest or dumbest thing to be bothered about. But for some reason, it has been bothering me more and more...so I am just going to put it out there. Get it off my chest.

Is it weird to say that I have never had an imagination? What am I saying? Of course it is! Well, I haven't. I HATED playing house or school or whatever when I was younger, it just either pissed me off or bored me. I had barbies and stuff, but I just wanted them so I could dress them up and do their hair. And I never had imaginary friends.

I don't dream. Or I guess I do, but I just NEVER remember my dreams. Any of them. Nell will tell me that I talked in my sleep, but I couldn't tell you why because I have no idea what I was dreaming about.

I also don't retain information. I really don't. Things that I just learned in high school, I don't really remember much of. Nell and Rob have conversations sometimes about stuff that I KNOW I should be able to talk about and recall information about...I just can't.

This has always just left me feeling really stupid and ridiculous. I don't participate in many conversations because I feel like whatever I say is dumb and pointless.

And I don't know what to say about having an imagination. I don't have much of one. I really don't. Trust me, I wish I did. Is there something wrong with me? Why don't I have an imagination? Why haven't I ever had one? These are just the same questions that I bother myself with all the time.

I just don't know....:dontknow: ]]> KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?1261-Hmmm http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?1075-Just-Thinking Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:01:46 GMT Hello. Wow! How long has it been since I posted a blog? Shit, well I have a million thoughts running through my mind, so I figured that I would just... Hello. Wow! How long has it been since I posted a blog? Shit, well I have a million thoughts running through my mind, so I figured that I would just share some in a blog. I hope you all enjoy some random chit chat.

To start, OMG I did not realize how freaking HUGE I used to be. Like, I knew I weighed a lot...my fuck. I went through our clothes today, to get rid of some that we don't wear anymore or ones that don't fit. Anyways, I held up this pair of shorts that I had and they were so BIG!!!! They wouldn't even fit Rob because they were so huge. =(

So now that I have lost 70 or so pounds, I am starting to feel a tiny bit more comfortable with my own skin. I don't feel amazing or anything, but I feel better than I used to. I hated being fat. Hated it. Don't know why I never really changed it...I could have. I'm so strange sometimes.

Then of course, I am thinking about the fact that yay for me, my two year anniversary is coming up in 4 months! =D

So weird to think about how it was two years ago. To think about how much I have changed and how much of a backbone I have now. I never stood up for myself. Ever. But now I can just tell anybody that pisses me off to fuck off (well, 80% of people anyways lol).

I loves my family. I really do. I don't know where my life would be without them. Nell, Rob, Seren. I love all three of them to death. That baby is like my own and I know I would just about die without her. I would be very sad without any of them.


Soooo...last week guess what I did? I went and took my placement test to get back into school!!! I am super excited and even more anxious. I needed the break from school. It made me WANT to go to school. On the 26th, I go back for my "SOAR" which is just final registration and meeting with my counselor. There, they will help me sign up for classes and I will start the beginning of Spring Term and the end of March!!


Just a side note to all you parents out there: do NOT let your child work at Wendy's. They are the worst. They have stupid rules and I hate it there. You have to ask to go to the restroom or to get a drink of water. When you do get your "drink of water", it's in one 6 oz. cup (the cups for baby frosty's). They hire managers that spread gossip. The store managers act like children themselves. They managers play favoritism. You NEVER get anything free. You have to pay for soda. Even if you come in early, stay late, cover a shift, they don't care...you still have to pay for it. They tell you they will promote you, train you for a week, and then never promote you. If the store manager thinks you did anything wrong at all, your hours WILL be cut. No way out of that one.

You get yelled at if you don't get the dishes done by a certain time in the morning. You get yelled at if the dishes aren't done in a certain way. If you don't take a green scrub pad and scrub all around the underneath edge of the bacon pans, automatically yelled at. No cell phones, no smoke breaks. If something embarrassing happens and the store manger finds out, they will find it on the cameras and watch and laugh about it (happened to me personally). Drive-thru workers get it twice as bad to. Once you are on the clock, it is "Welcome to HELL."

A girl at work they other day ate a package of almonds that we have for the chicken mandarin salad (they are normally free and she didn't have any money), our manager made her pay .50 cents for eating the package of almonds. Her boyfriend had to bring it to work for her so she could pay for it.

It's not just me saying this. Carrie Jo from work has worked with the Wendy's chain for 12 years and she said they are all like that. This girl named Nancy has been working there for 6 years and said the exact same thing. They are fucking ridiculous.

Anyways...I have to quit ranting. This is probably really boring. Sorry. Oh well. I love you all if you took the time to read this! Big hugs from:

Yours truly,

Kiki:hello: ]]> KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?1075-Just-Thinking http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?726-It-s-been-quite-some-time Wed, 22 Apr 2009 04:33:27 GMT Hello to everyone!! I just figured that since I haven't been on that much lately, I would fill you all in with what has been going on lately...

SO I finished my Winter Term at school on a really shitty note...I failed my math class because I couldn't pass the placement test to move forward and I failed my Web Design class because the stupid bitch of a professor refused to help me out of class and I didn't understand it well enough...so I didn't go back to that school for Spring Term.

I moved in with Nell and Robert and am working full time at work, getting enough money to pay off what I owe at school until fall term when I start back to community college with a clean slate...

I am very excited about the new change in my life...but at the same time it is scary. I guess I was very sheltered when growing up, so the whole "acting like an adult thing" sucks major ass...I wasn't really embracing it very well, but Nell helped me out and calmed me down, so now I am a little better.

Then there is work. Well one of the two McDonald's in town closed down so that it could be remodeled so pretty much all of the employees from there came to our McDonald's. Let me tell you all: it fucking sucks. They all act like power hungry monsters and if they don't get their way, it's like the end of the fucking world. All of the managers are fucking evil bitches (except for the one that actually refers to herself as the bitch...I don't know why, but we get along really well). They treat me like shit...and if you read the "Dear So and So" thread, I decided that I am not putting up with it anymore...which has been working out pretty well actually...I mean I am in fights with a bunch of them because I am not dealing with bullshit, but the store manager and assistant both are on my side and are talking about moving me up (well, they already were, but now it's gonna go much much faster)! Joy for me!! Haha. I have to laugh about that...but anyways...

When I came back and said hi, a bunch of you were saying that you were worried about me, or missed me or wondered where I was and what I was doing. Well, there is the update for my life. I missed you all and hope you enjoy reading the update!! =)

Love,
Kiki ]]> KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?726-It-s-been-quite-some-time http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?594-How-Big-of-a-Bitch-Can-You-Be Mon, 09 Feb 2009 06:16:27 GMT Okay, so this is the fight that I am having with my best friend of 16 years...I sent this message to her via Myspace because she was not answering my... Okay, so this is the fight that I am having with my best friend of 16 years...I sent this message to her via Myspace because she was not answering my phone calls or replying to texts so I was starting to get worried that she either 1. Died or 2. Wasn't talking to me for some unknown reason...

This is our conversation...I need help on understanding some of this...

"Kari,

Hey, I just wanted to send you this message because are we not talking? Or what's up? I have texted you like 4 or 5 times and no reply. I have also called numerous times to try and talk to you...I will be really sad if you are not talking to me. I am trying to prove to you that things will be different this time...look, even my parents have said that they don't like my relationship but are willing to accept it.

I guess that I am just sad that you might not be talking to me and tell you that it's okay if you need time to think about it all and ask that you tell me the same thing as my parents did...I am not asking for you to like it, but I am asking for you to accept it and still be my best friend.

Also, I was there for you with no judgement whatsoever with the whole D and C situation. I am not going to drag that all up or anything but I just want you to realize that I didn't say one negative word about the whole situation the entire time that you were thinking about all that stuff with D...

Please consider all of this and please talk to me...I love you.

Kiki"

The last paragraph is about in the middle of school last year my best friend was texting this guy named D...who happens to be my cousin, also dating mine and best friends other friend C...they were texting about how D doesn't really love C anymore and that they wanted to lose their virginities to each other behind C's back...she had asked me what I thought and I told her that I think it's wrong to do that behind her back but whatever you decide, I am here for you because she had a lot of back history with D...so this is her reply to my message...

"im not talking to u right now cause i told u not to get back together with robert and oh look what u go and do. get back together with him. hes not right for u. obviously it doesnt matter what i say though cause when we talked at ur house that one night i thought that u were done with him but clearly i was mistaken. i dont like how u dont even listen to a word i say about him. i have been here for u for a long ass time and it still seems like what ever i say u dont wanna hear. im tired of supporting u through all this crap when everyone else isnt there because i feel like im just wasting my time. things r just getting ridiculous and idk if i can be friends with u much longer with the way that things r going."

My reply back...

"Are you serious? There are plenty of times when you haven't listened to me about things and we got into a fight. I don't know where you got the impression that I was over or done with Robert. It had been like a week after me and him broke up...I was no where even close to being over him so I don't know where you got that. You said "you're not going to get back together with him are you?" and I told you that if I did, things would be different. And they are different, I don't see how you can't see that...I am trying to make them different between us because I was stupid the first time around and now I am not making the same mistakes. I also don't understand how you can't see that Robert has been one of the best people that I have ever had in my life and he makes me feel so good about myself and he makes me happy...why doesn't that matter to you? I would be depressed without him...but whatever obviously that doesn't really matter because my relationship is "all about sex" and I need to "be with someone my own age"...whatever I don't know when you started to be so judgemental on my life and relationship but it hurts that you would start doing it now..."

Her reply..

"ya well idk what exactly is going on with u 2 and how its different at all. i dont see how u can say that u would be depressed without robert? i have been here for u but obviously that doesnt matter because u dont feel like u can talk to me about stuff i guess. just cause he makes u feel good about urself doesnt mean that hes right for u. have u ever thought about that? there r other guys in the world u know and just cause a few guys in the past havent been what u were looking for doesnt mean that u have to settle for whatever else comes along. i dont see y u even need a bf right now anyways. look at me i dont have one and im doing perfectly fine. im happy and doing good in school, have a good family life and pretty much couldnt ask for much more except for my best friend to go back to the way she use to be before she went all stupid. i did not say that ur relationship was all about sex but u r right that i said u should be with someone ur own age and u honestly cant tell me that u dont know anyone ur own age that wants a serious relationship! u can call me judgemental i dont really care im finally standing up for myself instead of just being the supportive friend that goes along with everything. maybe i guess u could say im being a bitch i dont really give a shit im just tired of all this crap and i want things to go back to normal. so u know whenever u decide to come back to the real world and be the kiki that i have known for like my whole life let me know."

My reply...

"Okay Kari, I want you to think about something...I am not you! I see that you are fine and happy and everything without having a boyfriend. But I am not. I was single for like 4 years before Robert and it was all good, but I want a relationship. Why shouldn't I be in a relationship right now? Just because I am in college, doesn't mean that I should experience all of the typical college experiences. And I'm not "settling" with Robert, I honestly really do love him, and you know what? Maybe he won't be the one for me in the future...I want to be with him forever, but no relationship is guaranteed and you know what else, that is why they call it dating. I don't have to be with him forever...I love him and he makes me happy and that is right for me right now...

I am trying to be myself but it makes it really hard realizing that the fact that my own best friend won't get over this and explain to me why it is such a big deal that I am with the man that I am with. Age shouldn't matter.

I guess it is just really hard that through everything that we have been through, and with how many times I have been there for you and just supported you with everything, that the one in a few chances that I need you to back me up, and you don't...why is that? I am trying to be the person that you know and are talking about, but you won't even let me try with you because I am with Robert...that shouldn't even matter...you should just be able to trust and believe me when I say that I am how I used to be...but whatever I don't appreciate the times that you have been there and I don't "trust you to talk to about stuff." What stuff are you talking about?? Because I talk to you about EVERYTHING!! Whatever Kari, I love you like the sister that I have never had and I am sorry that things have gotten to be like this..."

And this is the reply that I just got back from her...

"i know that ur not im not stupid. if u want a relationship with robert then y dont u actually have one with him and not him and nell? i dont even consider that a relationship because hes with another girl but obviously u like the 3some so it really doesnt matter what i say.

you are so not back to the way u use to be and if u r well not to me anyways. u act different and i dont like it but u know whatever u wanna do go ahead and do it cause i know that whatever i say to u isnt going to change the person u r now.

im actually glad that this is happening now because now i can find a new best friend in college while i still have the chance. oh and tell nell to not message me on myspace. this is none of her fucking business and idk y u would even bring her into this whole thing anyways. but really im not joking this friendship is OVER!!!!!"

So I guess I am just really hurt and confused...I just lost my best friend...why would she go from being my #1 supporter to being worse than my parents?? I don't get it...*sigh* Please help, I am at a loss...Oh and sorry that this is so long... ]]> KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?594-How-Big-of-a-Bitch-Can-You-Be http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?564-I-m-Messed-Up Tue, 03 Feb 2009 06:12:08 GMT I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I feel so happy when I am with Nell and Robert but then during the week when I am at school, I feel so depressed or just not happy.

I never want to go to class. I do anyways ONLY because I am paying for it. I don't feel happy to be at school anymore. Sometimes I wish I would have just gone to community college or something so I wouldn't be feeling like this. I don't feel passionate about anything...like I have no idea what I am doing with my life or what I want to do with it. I always just feel like laying around and doing nothing.

I talk to people all the time and I will feel happy and good and then I get to be by myself and I feel alone and like my own friends (like ones that I have had forever) never have time for me anymore...even though I am always trying to find someway of talking to them at least once a week. It's like they all are moving on and I am being left in the dust and I am constantly being replaced. My best guy friend of all time was talking to me on the phone last week and told me that I wasn't his "twin" anymore because he found a girl in school who he connects with as well as he did with me...and he's now dating her so like she has the complete package for him...and I just texted him so that I could talk to him about this and he said that he was busy...

But the weird thing is, is that on the weekends when I am at Nell and Robert's, those feelings all just disappear. I feel happy and complete. And I know that is all that matters and everything, but sometimes it is just sooo hard to try and understand why this is happening to me. I am so tired of feeling like this and feeling like I am fighting to be happy.

I guess I am just always asking the question of why. Why am I feeling like this? Why are all of my friends ditching me and leaving me behind? Why don't I have any passionate feelings for school anymore? Why do I cry everytime I think about this? Why, why, why???

All the questions bring me to the answer that I am just messed up and there are no answers for me anymore. ]]> KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?564-I-m-Messed-Up http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?480-Update!! Sat, 10 Jan 2009 22:24:23 GMT Okay sorry everyone...I finally have some time to come and post to my blog to update you all!!! So, Rob sent me a long text about how he wanted to... Okay sorry everyone...I finally have some time to come and post to my blog to update you all!!!

So, Rob sent me a long text about how he wanted to talk so I met him after work and guess what? We're back together!! I guess I am soooo amazing, that it was just too hard to be away from me!! Haha I am just kidding...had to throw a joke in there!

I couldn't be happier...it's like our relationship went back to the way it was at the beginning. I feel so loved and cared for and that he wants to be with me again! I am so happy that I have this man in my life. I love him so much and it makes me happy that I was missed enough for him to want me back.

There is my update on my life so not everyone is still reading my sad post. I also wanted to say thank you to everyone who was so supportive and that was there for me while all of that was happening! I don't know if I would have made it without you all...love you! ]]> KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?480-Update!! http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?425-At-a-Loss Wed, 17 Dec 2008 02:48:05 GMT Okay, I just had to come in and update everyone. I need help. I have felt so depressed today. It's bad. Robert broke up with me. He told me that I was the problem and that he doesn't have the energy for me and that he needs to take a break. But then also says that he doesn't hate me and doesn't want me to stop coming over. What the fuck? It's just so confusing and I feel so hurt. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel?

Then of course I worry about losing my friendship with Nell and losing the beautiful baby girl Serendipity. I don't want to at all because I care about them so much...I just feel so sad and so hurt. You see, I did so much for him, gave him everything that I have and yet it seems like he just dumped me to the side of the road. What was it all for? What did our relationship mean? And even though he has hurt me so much, I am still in love with him. I am still wanting to be with him and want to cuddle with him.

Am I crazy for still wanting this? Am I stupid for still being in love with him? I guess I am just really hurt and confused. I don't know what to think or feel. Help please before I lose my mind. I feel unloved, unwanted and worthless. *sigh* I just feel like crying all the time...please help. ]]> KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?425-At-a-Loss http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?413-I-m-lucky Wed, 10 Dec 2008 18:09:58 GMT I just had to come to my blog and post my thoughts right now. I feel like I am the luckiest girl alive! I am IN LOVE with the 2 greatest people that... I just had to come to my blog and post my thoughts right now. I feel like I am the luckiest girl alive! I am IN LOVE with the 2 greatest people that I know. My boyfriend Robert has been one of the most amazing things that has happened in my life...I get a smile on my face just thinking about being with him. He has always found a way to make me feel beautiful, smart and almost perfect. I don't know where I would be without him in my life.
I am also in love with a wonderful woman. Nell is possibly the greatest girlfriend that I could ever ask for. She ALWAYS knows how to make me smile and makes me look forward to each day. It makes me happy just seeing her or hearing her voice and knowing that she loves me just as much as I love her.
Between Nell and Robert, they have a beautiful baby girl named Serendipity...I love that baby so much. Just as if she were my own. She is so adorable and I love seeing her smile everyday!
I just feel so lucky to be loved by these three! I strive to be my best every single day because of them! I go to sleep every night and wake up every morning thinking of them and the love that we share. I know that I would not make it day to day without them by my side pushing me to do my best! I just wanted to say that because it was on my mind and I had to brag just a little with how lucky I am!

I love all of you with all my heart!

~*Kiki*~ ]]> KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?413-I-m-lucky http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?356-Fuck-Life-seriously! Fri, 21 Nov 2008 01:19:05 GMT Oh my god. I really really really hate feeling like this. I hate myself sometimes and I don't know why. I have woken up every night since Monday with a burning pinching feeling in my back and it hurts so bad that I cry and cry until it stops. I have tried taking Advil, Excedrin, Ibprofen and Tylenol but none of it seems to work. No matter what, my back hurts. And the thing is is that it shouldn't be hurting at all because I had breast reduction surgery to get rid of this pain. And it's worse now than it was before!
I hate to complain so I am going to apologize to those who have real life problems and issues that are far less meaningful than this because I feel selfish for complaining but I am going to explode if I don't.
Everything is seriously bugging the shit out of me. Like I went to meet with my adviser because she is only open for an hour today and in order to register for classes tomorrow, I have to meet with her. So I get there at 4:05 and she is already meeting with someone so whatever not a big deal right? Well when it rolls around to 4:45 it is a big deal. I was just getting pissed off because the girl kept asking my adviser stupid ass questions like how long she had been teaching and where she grew up and shit. I was just thinking to myself, "you have got to be fucking kidding me! Bitch, you are not the only one that has to talk to her today!" I feel absolutely horrible for even thinking like that but seriously! Who would do that? She even saw me sitting on the damn floor waiting for their meeting to be done. Then my back started burning so bad that I started crying and couldn't stop. When I tried to get off the floor it hurt even worse and shot pain up into my entire back into my neck. So I just sat there for like 5 min and finally I forced myself to get up to meet with my adviser which took a total of 7 minutes!
Now I'm in the library at school waiting for the next 2 meetings that I have because I need extra credit for psychology and I can't leave without going to these meetings. Now I am starting to shake because the last time I ate was at 7:30 this morning.

I just really hate feeling depressed and I HATE crying in front of people or even talking about it because then I feel like a selfish, conceited person. I'm all alone at school and I hate that to. I just want to be held by my bf and to stop feeling like this. ]]> KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?356-Fuck-Life-seriously! http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?292-What-the-Hell-is-up-with-parents Fri, 17 Oct 2008 02:22:10 GMT So I am just sitting here in college and brewing about my parents. I have always been close with my mother and a little close to my step-father. I... So I am just sitting here in college and brewing about my parents. I have always been close with my mother and a little close to my step-father. I even let my step-father adopt me when I was 12 because he has always been the closest thing to a dad that I ever had. With my mom, I have always felt like I could go to her with anything and ask her anything...until lately.

Around January, both of my parents started acting differently. My mom became very stressed out because my dad's business was pretty much going down hill fast. Then in April, my dad had a heart attack and had stop doing anything with his business. Which then put all the financial stuff on my mom. This then helped my parents change more and more. My dad started yelling at me more and more and my mom started to tell my dad EVERYTHING that I was telling her...which has never happened before. I eventually stopped telling my mom anything that was going on except if I was okay with my dad knowing it as well. Starting towards the end of May, my mom started borrowing money from me left and right on top of expecting me to pay my bills on top of that (I have been paying my own bills since I was 15). I had a savings account that in order to get money out, I had to have my dad sign the withdraw slip. So one day I had my dad sign the slip to go get like 50 dollars out of the 600 that I had in there and I had NO money in there. I called my mom and she had forged my dad's signature and taken the money out without my permission to pay for her electric bill and their cell phone bill. Even though I had already given her 200 for that month. I called my mom to ask her about it, and she begged me crying not to tell my dad because her accounts were overdrawn and she couldn't pay the bills because my dad wasn't working. So I forgave her and told to pay me back whenever she could because I needed the money to.

So it's the middle of the summer and my mom has continuously borrowed money from me promising to use the money she owes me to buy me a laptop for college because she didn't give me a high school graduation present either because she didn't have the money. By the end of the summer, my mom had made a complete 180 in an attitude change. My dad started working again, but that didn't matter. I started to hang out and stay the night with my friend and she started to freak out on me because she was 31 and didn't understand why my friend wanted to hang out with me and finally told me that once I was 18 it didn't matter what I did anymore but until then I was to stay at home. So I did. When I turned 18 I pretty much moved out of my house and lived with my bf and gf. I told my mom and dad both two weeks after I turned 18 that I had a bf that was 25. They freaked the fuck out on me.

They continued to freak out on me and still are to this day saying that my bf doesn't really love me because he's 25 and I lost my virginity to him and he has another gf and a child but we were all living together, we all know about it, both his mom and her mom know about it and they didn't freak out. Every time that I talk to my parents, they freak out because they haven't met him yet but I refuse to introduce him to them because they are acting like assholes. That and they are always telling me that he is a piece of shit and a pedifile because he is 25 and he is dating me and somebody else. It is really starting to piss me off.

So last weekend my dad blew up on me in public when I was shopping because he was saying that my bf is a piece of shit and that he doesn't really love me just the usual. I went over to my house to spend time with my family because my parents tell me everyday that 1) it is MY fault that my dad had a heart attack and 2) that because of me, my mom is on depression medication and she cries herself to sleep every night. Like that is really my fault? No. I know it's not because my dad doesn't take care of himself at all and he wasn't working so he's the reason that they are in hole for their bills and shit and why my mom is depressed because she has spent 5 months paying all the bills by herself (with my laptop and college money). So I went over there to visit so they would stop but no...my dad said the entire time that I no longer had any morals or intuitions and he's always talking about my sex life like it's any of his ffing business. So I finally flipped and said whatever I'm gone and I left.

Now it's been almost a week since I have talked to both of my parents and today I get a text from my mom that says, "Is that R(my bf) that you're kissing on your myspace or is it D(gf)?" and I was confused because you can totally tell that it is my bf and even in my albums it says "me and my bf. I can't get enough of his kisses." So I told her and she freaked that it's because she hasn't met him yet. So when I told her sorry she said, "For what? Completely breaking my heart, or cutting me out of your life?" I couldn't even respond to that. I was so livid that I got on here to start a thread about it. I'm completely at a loss because I am going to lose my shit soon. Am I just over reacting or do I have a right to be upset? Please help, I'm sorry the thread is so long. It's my first one.

Oh yeah and by the way, my mom still owes me 400 dollars and she made up shit to my financial aid counselor so my parents wouldn't have to take out a loan so now I have to take out 2 loans for school...then turned around and wouldn't let my grandparents give me money for school because she said that I was doing good on my own and that THEY took out a loan for me so the one loan I took out gave me extra money for my books and stuff. I am just pissed...more like unbelieveably livid and don't know what to do anymore. Please Help!

Kiki ]]> KiKi http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/entry.php?292-What-the-Hell-is-up-with-parents