All Blog Entries

I woke up this morning to the work phone ringing off the hook. Its Ms. X calling from Dr. Y about their fucked up server. I ask her a question she says she will call me back. So, I get up and feed the cat and try to take a shit. She calls back. I ask ...

Perhaps you're bored. Perhaps you wish to lower your own IQ and that of everyone around you, but you've discovered lobotomies are sort of frowned upon these days.

Whatever the reason, I'm here to help.

Now, I'm not actually ...

Once there was a girl full of love who never complained.
Abandoned and alone, she adopted me when I needed her most.
It was cold and rainy that September eleven years ago.

She taught me to savor anticipation.
She taught ...

I've learned something today. A dog will be extremely disconcerted when, upon running, their collar unexpectedly revs like a muscle car.

And by extremely disconcerted I mean that they freak the hell out and take off in a mad dash to escape. ...

I have no lights in my backyard; I suppose I could buy some patio lights. This of course would require my going to a store and paying money for some patio lights, as I obviously don't already own them.

I DO however, own several of those ...