DamagedGoods

Perhaps you're bored. Perhaps you wish to lower your own IQ and that of everyone around you, but you've discovered lobotomies are sort of frowned upon these days.

Whatever the reason, I'm here to help.

Now, I'm not actually ...

I've learned something today. A dog will be extremely disconcerted when, upon running, their collar unexpectedly revs like a muscle car.

And by extremely disconcerted I mean that they freak the hell out and take off in a mad dash to escape. ...

I have no lights in my backyard; I suppose I could buy some patio lights. This of course would require my going to a store and paying money for some patio lights, as I obviously don't already own them.

I DO however, own several of those ...

1. You see how there's a car ahead of me? Climbing on top of MY ass will not make HIM go faster. And trust me when I tell you; I do not believe in "paying it forward" when it comes to tailgating, so I'm not going to attempt to rear end him ...

I know you won't actually read this, because well, you're stupid. Or, you will read this, get defensive, and proceed to ignore everything I say. Still, I need to vent and I've discovered there isn't enough material in the world to make enough voodoo ...