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StashRider
November 7th, 2008, 07:03 PM
Ok, uh..this is obviously my first time posting in the forums and at the suggestion of the lovely banners following me around and reminding me I haven't posted yet...I thought I would.

My name is Laurie and I first posted on the DreaminDemon a couple of months ago where I managed to offend Morbid and Impqueen in about two minutes. I sheepishly ran away with my tail tucked under and have now bravely reentered. I am more involved with read the Dreamindemon and less with the forums...but that will change probably since I have seemed to exhausted all other forms of entertainment on the web.

My bio:

I'll get the shitty stuff out the way first. I am a twice convicted felon who is still on probation. Needless to say I was a very selfish and stupid person who at the ages of 16-20 decided that my needs were paramount to that of my family and other random people who the the unfortunate luck of being in my sphere of destruction. I committed crime of forgery at age 20, was put on probation, then took off across the country in a stolen vehicle to "find myself" and 6 years later "found myself" in a world of shit when I came back to Texas. I have no "excuses" for my behavior and I fully take responsibility for my asshat ways. In fact I HATED every single one of the people I had to put up with in the month I was in jail and have found that there is a very good reason why they were all there. In fact most of them wear it as a badge of honor......a really stupid badge of honor. Worst 30 days of my life(slight exaggeration)

Now, with that out of the way, while I am no longer a dick in that particular format I am still a dick in very legal fashion.

Such as:

When I am personally finished with a conversation I tend to just walk away instead of finishing it.

I refuse to make eye contact with people on the bus and talk to them.

I won't talk to someone with disabilities just because they are disabled....I will treat them just I treat everyone else; a chore.

I don't "get" the whole god/ja/goddess/pagan/earth worship thing. Never had, never will and if someone mentions it my eyes glaze and I walk away, or if I am in a foul mood I'll start an endless and excruciating debate/mental fist fight that will end up with both parties in a fit of hate. SO, I promise not to start shit with you if you promise not to start shit with me. Deal?

I'm a complete narcissist. In fact, the biggest reason I signed up for the forums is so I can check out how much people respond to me. Isn't that sick? When I write a myspace post I am OBSESSIVE about the numbers of readers. Seriously, I want you to love me. Love me, love me, love me! Just don't expect me to talk to you on the bus. Really, that's why I have headphones on.

Good stuff:

I am not offended by much. In fact hardly anything. When I was a teen I was one of those kids who didn't look at porn on the 'net. I looked at all the gross photos and visited hate sites. In fact I tried to sign up with the Aryan nation(I'm Mexican), but my boyfriend(he used to be a neonazi before he found the healing qualities of the grateful dead) panicked and insisted that I couldn't because they would personally want to meet me when I signed up and then probably beat me to death after they discovered the fraud. I thought it was hilarious.

I took care of people with Autism and I loved it. Now if you think this contradicts my previous statement that I won't speak to people with disabilities, you're wrong. I said I won't talk to them just BECAUSE they are disabled. Listen, I'm really tired after a day of wrangling dogs and lifting them and running from the scary ones and cleaning up their feces so I don't want to talk to anyone after work. Besides I got paid to talk to guys with autism. And money makes all the difference.....

Hmm, I tried to think of some other positive stuff, but I can't. Screw it.

Thanks! Laurie :hello:

Dakota Valkyrie
November 7th, 2008, 07:24 PM
I love you already! Welcome!

StashRider
November 7th, 2008, 08:02 PM
Hooray! :lollypop:

Maggie Mae
November 7th, 2008, 10:28 PM
Glad you managed to make it back! We're neighbors. :)

impqueen
November 7th, 2008, 10:52 PM
If it helps at all, I have absolutely no memory of being a total bitch to you (or why), but I'm sure I was. I do that sometimes, just unleash the horrors within for no apparent reason.

Usually it's fixable with bourbon and a LUSH Sex Bomb (http://www.lushusa.com/shop/products/bath-shower/bath-bombs/sex-bomb).

Welcome back!

Dark Star
November 7th, 2008, 11:47 PM
Welcome. Your boyfriend was a neo nazi and is now a deadhead.......farrrrrrrrrr out!!! Goddammit that is just fucking cool.

In your bio you sound fucked up lol, much like the rest of us. You'll fit in just fine around here.

Peace~
Hippie:hippie:

SoUncool
November 8th, 2008, 10:55 AM
http://i36.tinypic.com/iynek4.gif

I think...

moonlilly1981
November 8th, 2008, 11:04 AM
http://i36.tinypic.com/34j7jhl.jpg

Sister Iroz
November 8th, 2008, 05:26 PM
http://i359.photobucket.com/albums/oo35/Special2bme/welcome19.gif

Gilbrit
November 8th, 2008, 08:10 PM
http://i324.photobucket.com/albums/k349/Gilbrit/Welcome/WelcomeSunflower.gif
Welcome to D'D!
Glad you are here!

StashRider
November 8th, 2008, 08:39 PM
Thanks everybody for the warm welcome. I promise I am not as much as a douchebag as I sound, I figure I should just set the bar low so I look better all the other times.

Glad to see some familiar faces; I've read a lot of some of your guys' posts when I started obsessing about the Caylee Anthony case.....

The case that brought me here though was about the girl who joined the cult and I think the whole cult pretty much killed her baby...I haven't read up on it lately.

And Impqueen, I totally had it coming. I think I was questioning the authenticity of all the relatives that visit and comment on the crime posts.....but you and Morbid set me straight.

I haven't felt this excited about a website since I found rotton.com when I was 15. I can't look at that shit anymore as I gotten more empathetic with my fellow human being, but this site picks up where I left off on that thread of human interest and I find it a worthy cause. I wholeheartedly endorse the mission statement here and I hope as an ex-offender and someone who has experience within my family and friends of shitheels, molesters, murderers, and general assholes I can add another perspective.

Thanks again!

nurseronda
November 8th, 2008, 11:25 PM
http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh20/nurseronda/welcome_18.gif

Unamused Cat
November 9th, 2008, 12:04 AM
http://i36.tinypic.com/2hog4nk.jpg

=^.^=

Morbid
November 12th, 2008, 08:24 PM
This is NOT a pre-canned response, $USERNAME. Even if you do see this entire message repeated in another intro thread, please believe me when I say I do not have a text file with this in it, that I simply cut-and-paste into every new member's Intro Thread. Because that is a bold-faced LIE.

So welcome to the site, $USERNAME, and I am glad that on $JOINDATE you decided to sign up and that you took the time to create this intro. So, enjoy yourself, $USERNAME and thanks for telling us all this interesting stuff about you. You are an awesome human being and I am sure you will fit right in.

Don't know what you did to offend me or Imp, but fuck it, great intro. Welcome to the site. Again.

Eagles Mom
November 12th, 2008, 10:27 PM
Hi and Welcome! :hello:

rebel450
November 12th, 2008, 10:36 PM
Hello and Welcome!:hello:

Nell
November 16th, 2008, 06:16 PM
Welcome. Did you notice Morbid and Imp are bitched at so much they can't remember specific instances? That is why I love them. And I too come her just to check on my posts and see the thanks I get. How else will I be validated as a person?

~Absynthe~
November 16th, 2008, 06:27 PM
welcome laurie thanks for the intro