CPL CHUD
May 6th, 2008, 02:52 PM
DEVIL STORY
http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/9643/dseg1.png
Sometimes to find the grade A cheese cinema you've got to really drag your nets deep into the abyss. At the bottom of these murky depths of long forgotten horror you'll find the ever elusive French thriller Devil Story. This is a movie that defied all my expectations from reel one; a true dive into the weird world of foreign obscurity.
Since I doubt most people will ever get the chance to check this flick out I'll delve pretty deeply into the plot, if you want to be kind and say that there in fact is one. The Devil Story revolves around a witch mother and her son (a guy who looks like a muppet dressed in the S.S.'s finest) whose family legacy seems to be causing shipwrecks, making pacts with the devil, raising mummies with camel toes from the dead, and stealing horses. Needless to say this really pisses off the only other two local yocals around; an elderly couple who use their humongous castle as a bed and breakfast for travelers that lose their way. After kicking off the film with a slew of senseless killings delivered by none other than the Nazi muppet man, we are introduced to a wayward couple which includes a woman who wins my no-prize as the most inhumanly curious and clumsiest cow to ever grace the small screen. Soon enough the couple finds their way to the local castle to spend the night and the old timers running the knook tell them about all the local legends. Standard fare for low budget flicks really. When the couple hit the sack the proverbial shit hits the fan.
The curious cow I was talking about before begins investigating strange sounds, including the braying wild stallion which has been driving the old man who owns the castle absolutely bonkers. He runs out into the night vowing to fill it's belly full of buck shot, while the girl stumbles around in the dark looking totally bewildered. And I wasn't kidding about her being klumsy either, she falls into a grave right next to where the witch mother and her mongoloid son are performing some dark ritual, one thing leads to the next, and she ends up impaling the old hag with a fence.....accidently. Not that the muppet faced son could do much about it, he gets his head kicked in by the same wild equine that the old castle owner has been ineptly hunting. The witch's kin eventually catches up to the dumb broad in charge of his mother's death only to be hit by a car and set on fire. Talk about bad luck. Oh yeah, a mummy rises from the dead in search of some sweat zombie ass while all this other jazz is going on. Cut to the old stooge castle owner furiously firing his shotgun at the galloping horse, and missing, at least five thousand times, even though the horse prances around him no more than a couple feet away. Eventually the mummy runs into him, busts his guts open, and the girl wakes up from a fever dream only to be swallowed whole by the ground. I really couldn't make this up if I tried.
Crazy doesn't begin to describe this, but I dug it none the less. From the crappy Casio keyboard soundtrack to the over extended shots of gushing blood; it doesn't get any more low budget, no brains, and big gore than this. Did I mention it featured a French chick frollicing in the woods? Yes, it is confirmed, the French do, indeed, frollic.
YouTube - 'Devil Story' Opening Sequence
*I'd like to thank Chris for sending me the VHS transfer of this flick. If you're reading this, thanks again man!*
http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/9643/dseg1.png
Sometimes to find the grade A cheese cinema you've got to really drag your nets deep into the abyss. At the bottom of these murky depths of long forgotten horror you'll find the ever elusive French thriller Devil Story. This is a movie that defied all my expectations from reel one; a true dive into the weird world of foreign obscurity.
Since I doubt most people will ever get the chance to check this flick out I'll delve pretty deeply into the plot, if you want to be kind and say that there in fact is one. The Devil Story revolves around a witch mother and her son (a guy who looks like a muppet dressed in the S.S.'s finest) whose family legacy seems to be causing shipwrecks, making pacts with the devil, raising mummies with camel toes from the dead, and stealing horses. Needless to say this really pisses off the only other two local yocals around; an elderly couple who use their humongous castle as a bed and breakfast for travelers that lose their way. After kicking off the film with a slew of senseless killings delivered by none other than the Nazi muppet man, we are introduced to a wayward couple which includes a woman who wins my no-prize as the most inhumanly curious and clumsiest cow to ever grace the small screen. Soon enough the couple finds their way to the local castle to spend the night and the old timers running the knook tell them about all the local legends. Standard fare for low budget flicks really. When the couple hit the sack the proverbial shit hits the fan.
The curious cow I was talking about before begins investigating strange sounds, including the braying wild stallion which has been driving the old man who owns the castle absolutely bonkers. He runs out into the night vowing to fill it's belly full of buck shot, while the girl stumbles around in the dark looking totally bewildered. And I wasn't kidding about her being klumsy either, she falls into a grave right next to where the witch mother and her mongoloid son are performing some dark ritual, one thing leads to the next, and she ends up impaling the old hag with a fence.....accidently. Not that the muppet faced son could do much about it, he gets his head kicked in by the same wild equine that the old castle owner has been ineptly hunting. The witch's kin eventually catches up to the dumb broad in charge of his mother's death only to be hit by a car and set on fire. Talk about bad luck. Oh yeah, a mummy rises from the dead in search of some sweat zombie ass while all this other jazz is going on. Cut to the old stooge castle owner furiously firing his shotgun at the galloping horse, and missing, at least five thousand times, even though the horse prances around him no more than a couple feet away. Eventually the mummy runs into him, busts his guts open, and the girl wakes up from a fever dream only to be swallowed whole by the ground. I really couldn't make this up if I tried.
Crazy doesn't begin to describe this, but I dug it none the less. From the crappy Casio keyboard soundtrack to the over extended shots of gushing blood; it doesn't get any more low budget, no brains, and big gore than this. Did I mention it featured a French chick frollicing in the woods? Yes, it is confirmed, the French do, indeed, frollic.
YouTube - 'Devil Story' Opening Sequence
*I'd like to thank Chris for sending me the VHS transfer of this flick. If you're reading this, thanks again man!*