Plastic Surgeon Writes Book Explaining 'What Happened to Mommy'

[TheMorningStar]

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/BeautySecrets/story?id=4675368&page=1
http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee314/fishincage/ht_beautiful_mommy_080417_mn.jpg
"My Beautiful Mommy" is billed by its author as the first book that explains plastic surgery to kids.

While some may jump to say that any tale about cosmetic surgery — breast, nose or tummy — isn't appropriate reading material for young kids, many members of the plastic surgery community are welcoming the new-age bedtime story. Some say they just wish they'd thought of the book idea first.

Let's hook 'em while their young!

Here is an excerpt:
"Why are you going to look different?" asks the daughter of her mother in the car ride back from the doctor's office.

"Not just different, my dear — prettier!" exclaims the mother.

This is insane! What kind of message is this sending? Doesn't seem to contain a section about mommy possibly dying.

[Athena]

Generally, I welcome efforts made to educate kids in unPC realms. I liked the idea of story books where kids had two moms or dads, for example, or the little kid who is a different color than his parents. They shouldn't be required reading, but they should be made available for parents having a difficult time approaching such a subject with their children delicately.

As for the message this is sending? It depends on how it's approached. Let me use an anecdote to illustrate:

My ex's sister worked for a plastic surgeon. She has a beautiful little daughter, Taeler. She's always been tall and lean for her age, with huge blue eyes and long, straight, blonde, Pantene Pro-V hair. When she was in kindergarten, she had little elf ears that would stick out from underneath her hair. Any adult would tell you that the ears were absolutely adorable. Unfortunately, however, Tae was being teased at school about them. Mom's solution? Put her under the knife. The operation to have ears "tucked" is minor, but it is surgery, nonetheless.

Now, I've got absolutely no beef with plastic surgery. I'll probably wind up getting some, some day. I feel like it should be viewed no differently than other measures of enhancement, like getting hair dyed or nails done, or even intense exercise. It's simply another form of modification. But the motivating factor is what counts, and is what I took issue with in Tae's case. She wasn't an adult who was getting surgery because, no matter how many lunges she did, she couldn't rid herself of those saddlebags. She was a beautiful 5 year old who was having her ears tucked because kids were making fun of her at school (something we all endure, to some degree).

I understood that her mom thought that she had Tae's best interests in mind. All things considered, Tae's mom was a good mother. But I worried about the precedent she may be setting for her child. If Tae is 16 and is underdeveloped and gets teased about it, will she feel the need to get her breasts worked on? For that matter, will she feel the need to address anything someone else views as an imperfection? That worries me.

If this book equates plastic surgery to innocent self-improvement, that's alright with me. If the mom is getting surgery, however, because someone else told her she had a flaw and has developed a complex? Well, I'm not judging anyone who gets surgery for that particular reason, but I don't think it's a standard we should be setting with our children.

[Lizard]

http://i30.tinypic.com/103j5tw.jpg

[TheMorningStar]

Generally, I welcome efforts made to educate kids in unPC realms. I liked the idea of story books where kids had two moms or dads, for example, or the little kid who is a different color than his parents. They shouldn't be required reading, but they should be made available for parents having a difficult time approaching such a subject with their children delicately.

I agree that books such as you mention are a good thing. They deal with problems that a child would have a very hard time understanding. I just do not think this book falls under the same umbrella. If mommy has a little bit of work done, the child probably won't really notice the difference and his/her peers most certainly would not either. I don't see a child being teased because their mother had some work done unless her mother ends up looking like this:
http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/9426/jocelynjl8.jpg



As for the message this is sending? It depends on how it's approached. Let me use an anecdote to illustrate:

My ex's sister worked for a plastic surgeon. She has a beautiful little daughter, Taeler. She's always been tall and lean for her age, with huge blue eyes and long, straight, blonde, Pantene Pro-V hair. When she was in kindergarten, she had little elf ears that would stick out from underneath her hair. Any adult would tell you that the ears were absolutely adorable. Unfortunately, however, Tae was being teased at school about them. Mom's solution? Put her under the knife. The operation to have ears "tucked" is minor, but it is surgery, nonetheless.

So you are saying this mother risked her childs life just so she wouldn't be teased? I find that to be beyond insanity.



Now, I've got absolutely no beef with plastic surgery. I'll probably wind up getting some, some day. I feel like it should be viewed no differently than other measures of enhancement, like getting hair dyed or nails done, or even intense exercise. It's simply another form of modification.

Getting your hair dyed or your nails done is not going to kill you. Intense excercise might if you have some kind of an unknown heart defect, otherwise its going to extend your life (and improve your quality of life). These needless surgeries can turn deadly as we have seen recently here at DD http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2425



But the motivating factor is what counts, and is what I took issue with in Tae's case. She wasn't an adult who was getting surgery because, no matter how many lunges she did, she couldn't rid herself of those saddlebags. She was a beautiful 5 year old who was having her ears tucked because kids were making fun of her at school (something we all endure, to some degree).

I understood that her mom thought that she had Tae's best interests in mind. All things considered, Tae's mom was a good mother. But I worried about the precedent she may be setting for her child. If Tae is 16 and is underdeveloped and gets teased about it, will she feel the need to get her breasts worked on? For that matter, will she feel the need to address anything someone else views as an imperfection? That worries me.

I am glad to hear that nothing bad happened to Tae. As you point out, will she feel the need to address anything someone else views as an imperfection with cosmetic surgery? I don't see where mom did her a favor.
I can see your point about motivating factors though such as facial reconstruction after a car accident.

I certainly do not look down upon those who choose to have a tummy tuck or a boob lift as adults, but I do think there have to be better ways to deal with their lack of self worth than risking their life just to look better.

If you decided to get surgery done, I would probably try to talk you out of it and if anything happened to you under the knife just think how that would affect those who you love and who love you as you are now.


I don't think it's a standard we should be setting with our children.

Damn straight!

[maryhaze]

after 8 months in the hospital for a transplant, chemo, strokes & all the rest, when i got out i had no boobs left. so i got implants. twice because i wasn't really happy with the first outcome. the 2nd time i also had my hips & eyes done. i have to say it never even occured to me to tell the kids anything about it. they were i think 5 & 7 at the time & i just didn't tell them, they never noticed & there it is.:oops:

[TheMorningStar]

after 8 months in the hospital for a transplant, chemo, strokes & all the rest, when i got out i had no boobs left. so i got implants. twice because i wasn't really happy with the first outcome. the 2nd time i also had my hips & eyes done. i have to say it never even occured to me to tell the kids anything about it. they were i think 5 & 7 at the time & i just didn't tell them, they never noticed & there it is.:oops:

Thanks for posting your story. I see more clearly the motivation aspect that Athena was talking about.
That so must have sucked.

[impqueen]

If i ever save up enough for my body overhaul, I am pretty sure I will not be sitting Impspawn II down to discuss it with him. Impspawn I, sure, but she's old enough to want implants of her own. Just goes to show anyone can write a kids' book about anything.

Next up: "Why Daddy Shook The Baby And Not You: A Love Story", by Imp Queen.

[Rotten Apple]

I think if you have a GOOD surgeon, most kids won't even notice the difference.

If you are going in for an extreme makeover, well you obviously have some issues you need to resolve with yourself first.

I can't WAIT for my first round of plastic surgery!!! "D

[Raq me darkly]

A lot of the surgery horror stories is what makes me think twice about going under the knife for anything (I didn't want to go to the hospital last october to have my hand fixed - can't you just give me a local in the office????).

Makes me think of Number Twelve Looks Just Like You (http://www.tv.com/the-twilight-zone/number-twelve-looks-just-like-you/episode/12722/summary.html):

From the intro:
Given the chance, what young girl wouldn't happily exchange a plain face for a lovely one? What girl could refuse the opportunity to be beautiful? For want of a better estimate, let's call it the year 2000. At any rate, imagine a time in the future when science has developed a means of giving everyone the face and body he dreams of. It may not happen tomorrow - but it happens now in the Twilight Zone.

True, the year 2000 they portray isn't like the 2000 we went through (heck, are any of their future dates "accurate"?), but with shows like The Swan (http://www.tv.com/swan/show/25662/summary.html), we are rapidly coming to the future portrayed in the episode.

[nurseronda]

I posted this link under childrens books yesterday...:D

[TheMorningStar]

oops :o

[Luci]

I had plastics 2 mths ago.. And I have a 5 yr old and 2 yr old daughters, and they know I had "boo-boos" and thats all they needed to know. One day when they are older they will be told about it and they can make their own adult choices when needed if they want any surgeries and I will support any decision they make once they are like I said, grown adults. I think Plastic Surgery is an art that can be used tactfully when needed. I think the book saying that "mommy is going to be PRETTIER" is very self-absorbed and sends the wrong message to small children that if they don't feel pretty enough they should go under the knife when in reality, they shouldn't be pressured at a young age to be "prettier" and I think that mommy reading this book to them will make them start looking for their own imperfections, WAY too early in life. They will have plenty of time to do this once they are older! ;)

[Athena]

I agree that books such as you mention are a good thing. They deal with problems that a child would have a very hard time understanding. I just do not think this book falls under the same umbrella. If mommy has a little bit of work done, the child probably won't really notice the difference and his/her peers most certainly would not either. I don't see a child being teased because their mother had some work done unless her mother ends up looking like this:

It's not always about getting teased. It's about education and understanding. Surgeries require recovery time; they can result in bruises and such that a kid might be curious about. And I definitely disagree with you about what kids will notice. Children are remarkably observant. When I was a kid, a friend's mother has liposuction done. Although I don't know the exact contents of this book, it might have been useful.


So you are saying this mother risked her childs life just so she wouldn't be teased? I find that to be beyond insanity.

That's a bit melodramatic, to say she "risked her child's life". By technicality only, I suppose...although this particular procedure isn't any more dangerous than your average cut that could become infected. In fact, it's probably safer in that it was watched much more closely. You see, the primary danger with plastic surgery is not the surgery itself, it is the general anesthesia typically involved. Second to that, it's risk of infection. Her procedure required only local anesthetic and the risk of infection was practically nonexistant when compared to more intrusive plastic surgeries.

All that being said, I definitely agree that any surgery just to avoid being teased is unreasonable.


Getting your hair dyed or your nails done is not going to kill you. Intense excercise might if you have some kind of an unknown heart defect, otherwise its going to extend your life (and improve your quality of life). These needless surgeries can turn deadly as we have seen recently here at DD http://www.dreamindemon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2425

Generally speaking, the risk is minimal. I had to have all four impacted wisdom teeth surgically removed so that I could get braces. It was a procedure I wouldn't have undergone, otherwise. All so my teeth could be straight and pretty. A needless surgery. Yet, no one passes judgment on me for having braces, or what I had to go through to get them. Why should these other surgeries be viewed any differently?


I certainly do not look down upon those who choose to have a tummy tuck or a boob lift as adults, but I do think there have to be better ways to deal with their lack of self worth than risking their life just to look better.

I believe this to be a flawed perspective, my dear.

You don't have to think that something's wrong with you to want to improve. My desire to wear makeup and such is not born out of insecurity, necessarily. I realise that presentation is everything and that the money and time I spend on my appearance is an investment that gets a return.


If you decided to get surgery done, I would probably try to talk you out of it and if anything happened to you under the knife just think how that would affect those who you love and who love you as you are now.


You're sweet, and I anticipate a certain amount of that. But if you're worried about that kind of thing, you really ought to lecture me about my drinking, smoking, recreational drug use, lapses in exercise and aggressive driving habits, as all of the above pose a MUCH clearer threat to me than does a cosmetic surgery. ;) This is because I research everything I consider doing, and I know better than to opt for general anesthesia for a minimally invasive surgery. When local or minimally invasive anesthesia is used, the rate of death attached to plastic surgeries plummets.

[TheMorningStar]

It's not always about getting teased. It's about education and understanding. Surgeries require recovery time; they can result in bruises and such that a kid might be curious about. And I definitely disagree with you about what kids will notice. Children are remarkably observant. When I was a kid, a friend's mother has liposuction done. Although I don't know the exact contents of this book, it might have been useful.

Not having read the book I can only go by what was reported. It appears to be only addressing cosmetic surgeries. Was it necessary for your friend's mother to get liposuction for health reasons (benefits outweigh the risks)? I think a book that explains to children what mommy or daddy are going to be going through after necessary surgery would be very useful.




That's a bit melodramatic, to say she "risked her child's life". By technicality only, I suppose...although this particular procedure isn't any more dangerous than your average cut that could become infected. In fact, it's probably safer in that it was watched much more closely. You see, the primary danger with plastic surgery is not the surgery itself, it is the general anesthesia typically involved. Second to that, it's risk of infection. Her procedure required only local anesthetic and the risk of infection was practically nonexistent when compared to more intrusive plastic surgeries.

All that being said, I definitely agree that any surgery just to avoid being teased is unreasonable.

Thank you. General anesthesia is a big risk for any surgery.


Generally speaking, the risk is minimal. I had to have all four impacted wisdom teeth surgically removed so that I could get braces. It was a procedure I wouldn't have undergone, otherwise. All so my teeth could be straight and pretty. A needless surgery. Yet, no one passes judgment on me for having braces, or what I had to go through to get them. Why should these other surgeries be viewed any differently?

Are you sure removing your wisdom teeth wasn't necessary? A trapped wisdom tooth sack can continue to grow and destroy bone in the jaw and can even cause the bone to fracture while eating. Other tumors develop around the impacted teeth, such as keratocysts, ameloblastomas and even rare cancers.



I realize that presentation is everything and that the money and time I spend on my appearance is an investment that gets a return.

Yes, this is completely true. Sad, but true.



You're sweet, and I anticipate a certain amount of that. But if you're worried about that kind of thing, you really ought to lecture me about my drinking, smoking, recreational drug use, lapses in exercise and aggressive driving habits, as all of the above pose a MUCH clearer threat to me than does a cosmetic surgery. ;) This is because I research everything I consider doing, and I know better than to opt for general anesthesia for a minimally invasive surgery. When local or minimally invasive anesthesia is used, the rate of death attached to plastic surgeries plummets.

How can I lecture you on drinking, smoking, recreational drug use, and aggressive driving habits when I do the same? ;) I could go on and on about how exercise is better than crack though.
I am sure it is more dangerous to get behind the wheel of a car every day then it is to have cosmetic surgery. If I could get away with not driving, I would. Again, it comes back to the motivation you mentioned before. I think its a sad reflection on our society that we put so much emphasis on the way we look. It is an inescapable truth.

I would probably buy a copy if it were a pop-up book.

[maryhaze]

Thanks for posting your story. I see more clearly the motivation aspect that Athena was talking about.
That so must have sucked.

i did it for myself. i wasn't happy with the way i looked. dh was fine with it, but i wasn't. as far as the bruising goes, i almost always look like i just had a car wreck, because between the dogs & the horses, i get the shit beat out of me on a regular basis & the anti-rejection drugs make me bruise very easily. i've had more than one nurse ask me if i need a domestic violence counselor.:D if dh even yells at the tv the dogs want to rip him apart!

[TKaz]

Just the fact that the book says "prettier" is disturbing to me.

I work my butt off, I used to be a tad overweight from pregnancies & my own laziness but now I work out a LOT & my kids see this. My pre-teen is proud of her rock hard abs she got from karate - this ACCOMPLISHMENT is so much more important.
But as a teen my gapped front teeth were knocked out, I had them fixed & the gap was covered. Now my daughter has that gap & our teeth look nothing alike, I wish I'd kept my gap!!!

There are things I'd love to fix. All battle scars from pregnancies - but I've worked hard & what my kids see is important so I'll just keep on keepin' on.....with a very supportive bra.