Oxycontin addict Stephanie Pack says "I don't want to be addicted to something else"

[TheMorningStar]

This is just sad.
Stephanie is a really great person. I met her online about 8 years ago and we used to chat a bunch (but not for several years). Anyway, she was given a second chance today from Judge Conway. I hope she does well because she has a really great personality and beautiful children (I really hope they are safe). I know she is smarter than this but addiction is a bitch.

As most of you know, I know better than to trust a junkie. This one hits a little close to home. I worry for her kids, but also for one of my best ever internet buds.

http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee314/fishincage/DD/Pack.png


Pack has been in a Cleveland outpatient treatment program for the past six months. She said she is currently on 80 mg of methadone, which is used for opiate dependency.

"I don't want to be addicted to something else," Pack said during Tuesday's hearing.

"I am going to stay clean. I know it's not a high percentage rate," Pack told Conway, but said she truly wants to be drug-free.

Counselors want to eventually reduce Pack to being on 10 mg of methadone per week "at most," she said, because they don't feel comfortable reducing the dosage any faster.

"Six weeks getting me off is comfortable," Pack told Conway.

Huron County Assistant Prosecutor Richard Woodruff recommended probation instead of a jail term for Pack "to see if she could make it happen," referring to be drug-free.

"She's doing well," Woodruff said about her treatment.

In mid-September, Pack, 29, of 4559 Laylin Road, pleaded guilty to possession of Oxycontin for having nearly a dozen pills during an April 15 traffic stop on Bank Street. She testified Oct. 23 in a separate trial a mutual friend, Kurtis J. DeWitt, gave her the drugs for her birthday hours before she was arrested outside of DeWitt's Bank Street home.

"He said, 'Stephanie, I'm going to trust you. You can't tell anyone. I robbed Kaiser-Wells,'" Pack said when testifying for the state.

"I was completely, absolutely shocked," she said.

While in the Huron County Jail the day after the crime and Pack's arrest, DeWitt's getaway driver, Megan Lillo, gave her six Oxycontin pills, Pack said, so she would avoid "puking all over the place in the jail" from withdrawal.

DeWitt is serving 15 years in prison for the Benedict Avenue armed robbery and putting drugs into his body to sneak them into the jail. After four days of testimony, a jury convicted DeWitt's longtime girlfriend, Megan Lillo, for similar crimes. She will be sentenced Thursday.

Pack denied being friends with DeWitt or Lillo, calling them "shady people" when she testified.

Speaking about her drug addiction Tuesday, Pack said her dependency on opiates increased after she took the pain medication for back pain and a crashrelated sternum injury.

"Most of it was not recreational. ... Most of it was prescribed for pain," she said.

Her fiance has been driving her to Cleveland for treatment. Pack said her fiance doesn't drink or do drugs and her two children, who will be 2 and 5 in December and February, are living in "a safe environment."

"I've always been there for my children. They are the priority in my life," she said.

On Tuesday, Conway sentenced Pack to three years of intensively supervised probation and ordered her to undergo random drug screens at her own cost. She also was fined $500 and had her driver's license suspended for six months. If Pack violates her probation, she faces one year in prison.

"I do believe you'd be a good candidate for community control," Conway told her.

However, the judge warned Pack that her previous offenses, drug history and associations with DeWitt and Lillo gave him "pause."

"I'm going to tell you, you have to be very careful on probation," Conway said. "It's a very thin line and short rope to work with."

"I understand that and appreciate it, sir," Pack responded.

http://www.apria.com/resources/1,2725,494-1022547-3,00.html

[Pazuzu]

Gangsta mugshot!

[backlash]

Best mugshot ever.

[skeptik]

Suboxone is so much better than methodone. I really hope your friend can make it. Addiction is a motherfucker.

[thebooblady]

Pain meds can ruin someones life real quick, but I'm not sure she is serious about this.


LOOOVE my picture that they posted on the reflector website, isn't this "too offensive" for that?!
Mood: amused Posted 21 hours ago
Female, 29
Norwalk, Ohio


http://www.myspace.com/labcoatbud

[Pazuzu]

Suboxone is so much better than methodone. I really hope your friend can make it. Addiction is a motherfucker.

Absolutely, 100% true.

[TheMorningStar]

Pain meds can ruin someones life real quick, but I'm not sure she is serious about this.



http://www.myspace.com/labcoatbud

Yes, that is her myspace. I know she is serious about her children and their safety, but addiction is an awful thing causing one bad decision after another so I worry. She is a strong person. Guess I'm about to see how strong she really is.

[Pazuzu]

Good luck TMS. I have many, many friends I have lost to heroin/pill/other addictions. I am happy to say a few of them crawled out of it....although most have not. I am still friends with them and will be here if they clean up....but never trusting a junkie is a saying for a reason as you know.

[thebooblady]

Some info on her addiction in her own words:


My name is Stephanie, and I am looking into buprenorphine treatment for my opiate addiction.

I first started using drugs when I was 13 (i'm 29 now). I started off smoking pot and taking pain pills randomly, for a buzz in high school. When I was 17 I was diagnosed with Severe Aplastic Anemia, I almost died- I had a "rush" Make-A-Wish trip to California to meet john Travolta in 97 (I was 17 then) then i was scheduled for a bone marrow transplant (my best match that they could find was 3/5- the lowest that they will even consider doing) Luckily my counts finally stopped dropping, I was receiving 3-4 blood transfusions a week at one point, just to stay alive.

After recovering from my SAA, I had terrible anxiety and depression. I actually used heroin for the first time when I was still sick, at age 17. At that point I just snorted the drug, but later would become an introvenious user. I have strugged with alcoholism and drug addiction ever since, i drank heavily in my early 20s- then traded the alcohol addiction for harder drugs. I was arrested at age 23 for having a needle and spoon in my purse with residue of oxycontin, cocaine and heroin on it- 3 felonies! I also overdose 2 times around this time- both times I had seizures and stopped breathing, once I woke up on the way to the hospital (in my drug-dealing boyfriend's jeep) the second time, I came to in an ambulance.

Eventually I moved away to get away from the drugs (everyone I knew was using), not knowing that I had a warrant for 3 felonies, as I was high and barely remembered being arrested at all... they actually un-cuffed me and let me go right then, pending the analasis of my spoon residue. I moved to NJ and got pregnant with my first son, stayed clean for a few years, then moved back to Ohio (my home state) and got pulled over on my way to work one day... for the felonies that I didn't know I was charged with! Since I had been clean for years, the judge dropped the charges, as long as I met with a diversion counselor and was subject to drug-testing once a month for 9 months.

I remained clean for 2 more years, 5 years total- other than prescription pain meds for my messed up back and migraines. I have been to physical therapy for my back problems, and would go to my family Dr once every two weeks to get it manipulated, to avoid so much pain. I was prescribed 120 Tylenol 4's a month for a few years. I had my 2nd son during this time. Last November, I totalled my car, hitting a telephone pole- breaking my right wrist and sternum- HORRIBLY painful! I was prescribed lots of percocet, as a broken sternum is one of the most painful bones you can break! My thirst for the opiates came back full-force. Also,
my doctor would no longer manipulate my aching back, he was afraid of re-fracturing my sternum that way, so I was in lots of pain.

A couple months later I found myself injecting oxycontin again, not to nod out and be obliterated- but to feel happy, have patience with my kids and feel motivated to do housework! It also made it tolerable to stand for 12 hrs at my new job; It made me a better worker and mother, but I didn't realize how much I had began to use! I got to the point of shooting up 80mgs at a time, just to feel normal and not be sick. My back would even STILL hurt after that doseage while standing at work.

My heavy-drug-use lasted about 5 months, after that I got arrested for oxycontin possession on my birthday, April 15th. I am currently out on $5,000 bond awaiting trial. I had the most terrible withdrawls of my life following my arrest. I was violently ill for 2 weeks, and couldn't keep ANYTHING down. I lost 20 lbs during that time and went through absolutely terrible mental and physical anguish.

I actually checked myself into the local hospital when I was extremely dehydrated and very much sick with withdrawl, and all they did for me was give me iv fluids. I though I was going to DIE. I lied and told them that I could keep food/drinks down in order to get out to attend my pre-trial hearing in court. I was so scared in court that I almost passed out. My anxiety has never been so bad in my life, and the police also kept my xanax prescription and welbutrin. My family dr won't see me now, because of my arrest and the fact that I admitted to my drug-use when seeking help with my withdrawl in the hospital.


I have been clean from oxycontin since then, but have recently taken vicodin to motivate myself to play with my kids and clean the house. I just want to be happy and energetic WITHOUT breaking the law, my kids are the world to me and I never want to go to jail again.

The police still have my I phone and vehicle, until my trial is over- causing me to lose my job (no transportation) and I cannot go to treatment without a vehicle because I live in a small town that doesn't have experience with such drug-addiction or treatment.

I believe that I got arrested for a reason, to get clean. I very much want to stay clean, but I also want to feel happy, energetic and "normal" again. I currently have no motivation at all, am depressed and my previously-treated anxiety is now untreated and 100X worse than it has ever been. I hope that I will be able to try seboxone as a replacement therapy, but I'm not sure if I have to be drug-tested by the courts at some point if it's even feasable to start.

My fiance is not very understanding, he seems to think that the fact that I love my family should make me not want to use drugs- I couldn't love them any more, that's totally not the issue here! I want to be better FOR them, if it were just me, I wouldn't even care what happens. He just doesn't understand, and gets furious when I try to tell him that he doesn't understand. He doesn't drink or use drugs, how COULD he understand what I'm going through right now? I'm very frustrated, scared of jail-time, stranded at my house with no car, no job, newly-sober... you get the picture.

If anyone had any advice, I would appreciate it. I am scared to go to jail and be away from my kids, I'm scared to stay sober, scared to do drugs again- just TERRIFIED of everything. I have no family Dr now, after getting arrested and checking myself into the hospital for treatment- I must have freaked him out. I even get treated like crap at the local hospital because I am a drug-addict. They look at you like you're not even a person if you have track-marks... you're a disease to them. It's humiliating.

All that I want is to be happy and sober, and a good mother. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted you to be able to get the whole picture- and I'm pretty sure you know my entire story now!

Good luck to all who are addicted and in recovery, I hope to join you in recovery very soon!


http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vbulletin/archive/index.php?t-21435.html

[badfish76]

Bless her heart. I wish her the best and I am pulling for her.

I do love the mugshot tho. She's my kinda gal. LOL!

[Shadow]

speaking as someone who was physically addicted to dilaudid after a botched surgery and being on a steady dose of this medication for 5 1/2 wks in the hospital and an additional 2 1/2 wks at home, i crashed, and i crashed hard. when i went to the ER, the attending doc, told me i had all the text books symptoms of addiction. i didn't want the pain meds anymore, as i wasn't in pain, but my addiction was purely of a physical nature and it was *hell*. i couldn't sleep, i had 'weepy' eyes, i was nauseous, i was dizzy, i had a horrid headache, and every muscle in my body felt like tensed to the point of breaking. the doctor took pity on me and put me on a medication to help ease some of the symptoms and get me through the withdrawal phase. the medication given me was clonidine. it eased *some* but not all of the symptoms..after the initial two weeks of withdrawal, i began to notice the symptoms were beginning to go away. Now, when i have to be on pain meds, i am very careful to take only what i need, as prescribed. i warn the doctors before they prescribe anything to me, that i've had physical addiction in the past. the ER doc told me that the reason i had the withdrawal symptoms, i stopped taking the dilaudid all at once, instead of slowly weening myself off. i think it was a learning experience for me.

i hope your friend is able to stay off the pain killers and get her life together. living life is so much better than existing in a haze. :)

~ceisdsgil

[thebooblady]

I feel very bad for her in a way bc I've had multiple operations and the most serious was on my back. I had a congenital cyst growing into my spine. For YEARS, I would lie awake in bed and cry because it hurt so badly. My parents didn't think it was serious. They thought I had pulled a muscle from playing soccer. Anyhow, I ended up having a softball sized mass removed from my back. They had to take bone from my hip and a rib from my left side to replace vertebrae that was damaged. I have two metal rods in my back. If I thought that the pain was unbearable beforehand, it was nothing compared to recovery. I can still remember being wheeled out of the ER and my father placing his hand on the bed rail. The vibration made my body tremble in pain. I couldn't move my finger without excrutiating pain.

I was pushing the button on the morphine pump over and over, even though it was allowed in 8 minute increments. They sent me home with a super sized bottle of 500 mg percocets and I panicked when they ran low. Thankfully, they weened me off with something else. I was only 15 and I knew then that if I had the means to obtain something else, I would have. When I was 7, my finger was smashed with a rock. The ER doc pulled the remaining piece tying to put it into place. I endured 3 operations, lost all joints in that finger, and had the surgeon remove pins while I was totally awake. I soaked my finger in peroxide nightly and 3 years later my brother accidentally bent it at right degree angle while we were fighting. They bent it back into place without pain meds of any kind. A broken nose, a csection, etc..I've been through pain.

But anyhow, regardless of the pain I have learned to live with it. I don't take any pain meds even though my back hurts so badly some days. Could I get it legitamately? Sure. I could be on oxycontin right now. But, I choose to manage the pain in my head, and not with drugs. My mother in law died just over a year ago from an accidental pain med overdose that she was using for similiar issues that I had. In my belief, the problem lies between a combination of the person abusing the drug and physicians prescribing it without any recourse. Stephanie needs to learn to live with the pain. When you've had surgery on your back, you're going to be in pain..FOREVER. Crying about your back and being doped up all the time is just an excuse to be high, imo.

[TheMorningStar]

I Myspace PM'd her a link to this site and thread. I hope she shows up and reads what you guys have to say (and gets addicted to D'D).

[Bay]

Love that mugshot.
Methadone is extremely inexpensive, as compared to oxycontin.
Hope all goes well for her.

[Awhell]

She'll make it if she wants to.
I have seen some addicts make it, some fall right back to where they were.
And in every single case, the ones that failed wanted to. So, I hope she has the will to make it.

[Dneilz]

Since her doctor fucked her over, I would suggest she contact her hospital and ask for a referrel for a doctor from the ER doctor who seen her.

I was on darvocet for 4 years due to a knee injury. When I went off it (cold turkey) I had some really bad issues with depression. The only med that helped me was neurontin. It is commonly used to treat nerve damage and spasm, also epilepsy but they have found it to be helpful with depression and anxiety as well.

[Dneilz]

I refused pain meds after my c section with Hope because of what happened with the Darvocet.

[malq]

Thanks for sharing her story TMS. I hope she comes around here.

[skeptik]

Little FYI for your girl--

Suboxine is covered by medicaid in FL. It's probably covered in other states too.

No, I have never been on it or had a problem with opiates. I have a close contact at a Suboxine clinic. Benzos were what fucked me over. I eventually got off of them but---oh holy fuck. It was touch and go for years. Some days it still is.

[backlash]

Thanks for sharing her story TMS. I hope she comes around here.

Me too. She would have a ton of support.

[Labcoatbud]

I'm a bit late.... But I'm here now. Been on only 15 mg of methadone a day since shortly after court. I had NO idea this site existed- my worst parts of my life are forever engraved on the Internet :/ gotta l-word technology! Only taking my scrips (the correct doses, even!). What is this site, exactly? And which of my few, great Internet buddies posted this?

Re: my mugshot- I had just been questioned & held for about 6 hours by the time i made it to jail, what can I say? ;)

[Valasca]

What the hell? She's not here to threaten libel/slander? She spells pretty good. No threats, no crying.
What the hell?
I'm confused.

[TheMorningStar]

You nuts are gonna love her and I think you will like it here Steph.
Labcoatbud Here is what the site is about:
http://www.dreamindemon.com/gunshot-by-computer/#purpose
But its so much more. The people here are really great.
Who am I? We knew each other from the Adult Swim Forums from long ago.
If you go back far enough in your myspace PM's ( 11-5-2009 ) you will see me telling you about this thread and this crazy place.

[Labcoatbud]

Actually, starting a sentence with "Been" was incorrect grammar, but thanks for letting that one slide :) is thatwhat most people here DO? This is (obviously) my first visit to this site, so I'm a tad lost & lazy. Is it just random bs-ing about life and such, or is there a "theme"?

[sanityslipping]

Shit I need to look at dates on things... I'm sittin here thinking, who the hell goes on Myspace? Even Tom quit lol



Welcome to the DD Lady, and congrats on all you have overcome!

[Labcoatbud]

Thanks! :) I miss the good 'ol A.S. Days! I'll for sure check this "place-in-space" out! <3

[Labcoatbud]

Shit I need to look at dates on things... I'm sittin here thinking, who the hell goes on Myspace? Even Tom quit lol



Welcome to the DD Lady, and congrats on all you have overcome!

Thanks so much! It seems like a "hater-free"-zone so far, which is always a plus- especially when my whole (sometimes downright SCARY) past/life-story is on here... I'm SO glad that I made it through all that insanity! Gonna go peruse this site now...

[AngelFire]

Your mug shot looks like the character Molly Ringwald played in the Breakfast Club....The hard core version, lol. Best mug ever!!!! Glad you came around. You will like it here....plus no one tells you to mind your manners. I eat with both elbows on the table, damn it!:ciao:

[HeatherHabilatory]

Damn. Best mugshot ever! I'm half tempted to go do something illegal just to copy this mugshot!!!!

Labcoatbud ... i wish you the best! Hope you can stick to recovery!

[malq]

You did show up! We all have no shame and some let it all out there and some keep it in, but if you are a friend of The Morning Stars, you are a friend of ours. Glad you have been clean cept for doses. If you are on only 15 mg's why are you still on it? Even a quadriplegic could kick it. Regardless , stick around and post on some other stuff.

This is a true crime site with a lot of different spinnoff topics. there are sub forums that deal with everything from bipolar/depression to everyone's favorite tunes with everything in between.. Reality Bites is the definitive true crime that is the heart of the site. I like Strange But True stories and have a lot of fun with those. You can start a blog and tell a story or just lurk and read. There some real characters around here and when you get to know them, you will realize it's more than a true crime forum.

Please check out the front page, it is the main exposure of the site. The owner, Morbid writes a lot of those stories that come from the forums and ones he finds by other means. so find a story, post it and if you like to argue constuctively, find Three Things. Read the rules on that one though. It's a debate forum.

i'm just a run of the mill poster, but there are a few mods and it is very loosely moderated unless you are a pain in the ass.:confused3: fucking hell, I almost wrote a review for DD, I need a drink.

[VXIII]

You sound like you are doing great, down to 15 mgs from 80 is a big step.

[Jerri Blank]

You did show up! We all have no shame and some let it all out there and some keep it in, but if you are a friend of The Morning Stars, you are a friend of ours. Agreed! Welcome to DD!

[MissDemeanor]

I am proof that addiction to painkillers can be overcome. It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life, but I did it. In January of 2007 I was experiencing pain in my upper thigh, in the groin area. It hurt so bad it kept me up all night. I woke up on the morning of January 20th and I could not take the pain anymore. I called an ambulance because we had no vehicle. We had only lived in Arizona for 2 weeks when this happened. I was terrified.
When I got to the hospital and explained my symptoms to the Doctor he immediately ordered an ultrasound of my leg which revealed a massive blood clot in my main vein. It extended from my pelvis to my knee. I also learned I was 2 months pregnant that same day. I was flown by helicopter to another hospital on the edge of town. I was admitted and given percocet for pain. I felt like I was floating on a cloud. It was an absolutely amazing feeling. The pain was gone, I felt awesome. I was in the hospital for two weeks on blood thinners and percocet. I was released with a prescription for 60 percs plus a refill.
I loved the feeling they gave me so much that started taking them again after I had the baby. I was not physically addicted though. Mine was all psychological. I took them for almost 2 years before my Husband gave me an ultimatum. Get clean or get out. I had to go through rehab in a psych ward to get off the suckers, but I did it. Been clean for a year and a half. I went to ER's, Doctors, Dentists, Urgent Care clinic...wherever I had to, to get those drugs. I am ashamed, embarrassed and disgusted with myself for what I put my family and myself through.
I feel horrible for this girl because I know exactly what she is going through. She does not WANT to do the things she is doing. It is something her mind and body are telling her she has to do. I am praying that she kicks this and pulls through it. I wish her all the luck in the world and I hope she can find some good people to support her though it.