Happy Birthday, Morbid!!

[impqueen]

A long time ago, in a uterus far, far away kicked a fetus impatient with his place in the world. It was too cramped, too small for a young man with big ideas and a thing coming out his belly button, and besides, the walls were closing in like that part in Star Wars where they're in the trash compactor. And so it was that on February 27, 1986 or 1865 or 1492 or 1973 or 1992, Morbid Eugene Filibuster was born. He was red, screaming, bloody and had horns - kind of like now, only smaller. The person, I mean, not the horns.

His early childhood was mostly normal, with the exception of the horns. Sent to school as Buster Filbuster so as not to frighten the teachers, his mother made him wear a hat. A pivotal moment came in first grade in the form of three pretty little girls in the lunch line - a striking little brunette, and angel-faced blonde, and a redhead. The blonde was sweet and adorable and offered little Buster her lunch. The lovely brunette kicked him in the shin, but then kissed him - on the mouth. The redhead took his hat, stole his lunch money, and then took one horn in her hand, and asked, "Is the other horn bigger?"
This singular day changed Buster forever - and possibly, it changed the world.

In high school, Morbid found that girls of all shapes and sizes wanted to feel those horns. Due to his perpetual blushy redness and his unusual protuberances (all three of them), the girls came a-runnin', panties at the ready. But none of them ever stayed, and Morbid, who had stopped going by Buster in the second grade, began quietly to pursue other interests: horror movies, comic books, and American Idol.

With the discovery of the Internet in 1974 by Barack Obama, Morbid found a new outlet for his horny woes. His right arm grew bigger and bigger, until he realized it was time to switch hands. Girls who didn't talk back were fun.. for a few decades. But Morbid found that he missed the panty-throwing he'd enjoyed back when his horns were big and his head was small.

"What if", he mused one day between masturbatory sessions, "What if I made my own website, where hot sexually ambiguous women would throw panties at me and kiss each other in chat rooms? What if we could talk about horror movies and comic books? What if I could find a way to publicly shame people who aren't nice to little kids with horns and confuse them, making them feel all weird and conflicted with feelings of anger and lust and adoration all at once?"

And thus Dreamin' Demon was created. Not so much with the public shaming right at first, but as Morbid's confidence and panty collection grew, so did his need for revenge. Which he found when I showed up a few months ago and asked him if his other horn was bigger. I've been locked in his basement since, but that's another story. I did hook him up with the brunette's number, that ought to get me something, but nooo, it's all You Ruined My Childhood up in here.

Four years after the site's creation, Morbid is more than a horny man. He's a big horny man with a website. And phenomenal administrative power tools, which are like a penis only less tangible and without the penis part. He pays all the bills for this mother site, which I should mention are significant, and he lets me say whatever I want on the front page. (Because he feels a little guilty about the restraints, I think). And while a personal website is never a democracy, Morbid manages to make this place feel like one - for all of us. He has an unpaid staff (not all of us are restrained), and he gives us a voice, a place to speak or rant or laugh or yell.

It's really a thankless job. Morbid doesn't get a lot of thanks. He gets a lot of panties, but not so much on the "thank you for paying the bills and letting us write whatever we want, Morbid". In a very literal way, he is the father of this website (wash your hands when you leave or he'll be the father of more than that.) It seems only fitting that today, on his birthday - his really real almost not even made up birthday - that we tell him so.

Thanks, Morbid. I love the site, I love you in a no-touching-clause kind of way, and I have only one last thing to add:

is the other horn bigger?

[TalkingJesus]

Happy birthday, Morbid. May all your wildest dreams come true unless it's one about Morbid on Talking Jesus love.

You rock, man. Thanks for welcoming all of us into your piece of the internet. Happy birthday! Can you drive now?

[So Jaded]

Happy Birthday Morbid!! :present:

[Kathy]

Happy Birthday Morbid!

http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee287/gooser562/funny.jpg

Thanks for everything you do behind the scenes. :love:

And seriously, is the other horn bigger?


(Great post Imp!)

[Kathy]

Oh wait, here's the cake I made for you. I hope you like it. :D

(That is Swivel jumping out of your cake.)

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j225/motts84/funny/birthday.jpg

[Miss. Hill]

http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t112/deannamhill/birthday-1.jpg

[impqueen]

damn, Miss Hill, i hope MY birthday is as hot as that.

Wait. It will be. I'm a girl.

[Hippiepoet]

Happy Birthday, dearest Morbid. (It's also my brother's birthday today.....isn't that special) ;) I too want to thank you for a wonderful site, a wonderful place to hang out, and a great place to get your freak on! May your birthday be a wonderful day, full of joy, and may all your wishes come true. (that sounded like a crock of shit!!!! hahahahhaa)
Really boss, Have a great day. Glad your parents fucked and you were made. :D
Peace and hugs,
Hippie

[Morbid]

Awwwwwww!

Seriously, if my 24-year-old heart still worked, it would be welled up with emotion and pride and black blood. But still. Thanks Imp, you are wonderful. As are all of you in your own beautiful, speshul ways. If it wasn't for all of you my 32nd birthday would not be what it is turning out to be today, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that it become complete when swivel gives me my phone sex he promised.

And I would also like to "step out" for second to publicly tell someone who may or may not read this today, thank you for the present. I loved it and I love you very much. And seriously, thanks guys. Like a lot of people, I usually just let my birthday slide by unnoticed, so it was a welcome surprise to see this thread for my 28th birthday.

But anyway, thanks for all the birthday wishes, I am finally able to drink legally, so I say we all get drunk at lunch, 1st round on me, and come back to work\home PLASTERED! Rock on, muthafuckas!

[Becca]

Happy Birthday Morbid!


Thank you for letting us all stand in the shadow of your glory and occassionally get hit by a ray of sunshine that reflects off your beautiful golden locks. I love this site and all the cool people here..I don't flash my boobies to everyone ya know..I truly appreciate all the hard work you, and the others, do so thank you.

Have a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious fucktastic day! :party:

[Pirelli Jones]

Have a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious fucktastic day! :party:

Ditto!

Happy B-Day!

[Hippiepoet]

Thought since there is so many of us, (Morbid followers) that we might need another cake.
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b39/hippienurse/TitsA.gif

[ells9824]

http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/jj124/los_volidos/Happy-birthday.gif

[McVain]

Have a mighty good god damned fucking Birthday sir. Say hello to your couch for me and then pound the fuck out of that bitch.

[Zora]

Happy Birthday. Morbid. I'm sure you don't look a day over whatever age you're claiming to be.

And thanks for all you do here. :D

(Loved what you wrote, Imp!)

[CPL CHUD]

Happy birthday Killroy. Don't get kicked out of the Chuck E. Cheese ball pit this year! I'm afraid they might sue.

[Morbid]

Happy birthday Killroy. Don't get kicked out of the Chuck E. Cheese ball pit this year! I'm afraid they might sue.

Not this year. I got a plan. Little fucker wont be able to tell Mr. Manager I'm not playing nice if they are knocked the fuck out at the bottom of the pit.

[Kathy]

Happy birthday Killroy. Don't get kicked out of the Chuck E. Cheese ball pit this year! I'm afraid they might sue.

Was it the Chuck E. Cheese ball pit?

Damn, I thought he meant something else entirely. I gotta return this gift certificate to Flaming Steve's Chicken Wings and Bondage Dungeon and get something else before the day is over.

I guess I shouldn't assume when people speak so fondly of a ball pit...

[Horrorholic]

Happy Birthday Morbid!

Just pretend this cake says Morbid on it instead of Donna!

http://schottdorf.org/images/amsterdam/penis-birthday-cake.jpg

[skeptical]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MORBID!:) Hope this birthday brings you everything you want and desire. Your website is great. I am totally addicted.:D

[sweet_misery]

Happy Birthday, Morbid!!!

http://myspace.drewpydraws.com/ccimages/RonBirthday.gif

[Hippiepoet]

For Morbid, a more traditional cake. Ummm it's a gift and a cake....yeah a giftcake!:D

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b39/hippienurse/happy_birthday_cake_04a.jpg

[impqueen]

You people make me HATE being on the west coast. I'm perpetually the last to know everything.

Morbid, honey...I'd give you ceremonial birthday head, but I'm no cradle robber. Let me know when you're legal. ;)

I'm legal. When it's my birthday, I'm calling. ;)

[sweet_misery]

I'm perpetually the last to know everything.

Same here and it sucks.

[Athena]

I'm legal. When it's my birthday, I'm calling. ;)

You don't need a special day, ma. Holla at yo' girl. ;)

[Kathy]

Bump. :party:

(for the east coast bitches)

[aspartame]

Happy Birthday!

*throws my special extra stinky panties*



BTW Impy that was a beautiful post!

[aspartame]

Bump. :party:

(for the east coast bitches)



WEST SIDE!!!

[Morbid]

Happy Birthday!

*throws my special extra stinky panties*

WTF is up with all this GLITTER? And what..the...hell...rhinestones??? :)

[Athena]

Glitter? You'll be vacuuming that out of your carpet for years. @_@

[swivel]

I don't get it. What the fuck is this thread all about?

Get back to work, people.

[aspartame]

sorry!!! i wore them for 3 days to make sure they were nice and ripe. at lease it was glitter and not pubes!!!

HAHAAA

[aspartame]

I don't get it. What the fuck is this thread all about?

Get back to work, people.

hey go format your computer!!!

[swivel]

Since Morbid is quite the mystery, I thought I would use his birthday as an excuse to tell you guys a little something about his past.

Back when Morbid and I were real-life friends, he and I were heavy smokers. Except there was a difference in how we went about it. You see, I used to employ these handy devices called "ash-trays". Damndest things, you just flick the charred ash right in this little vessel, and it keeps the ashes in one place, for later disposal.

What Morbid did was something a little less-clever. Morbid tried to keep all of the ash attached to the cigarette. He would smoke in a gingerly fashion, eying the ash in a curious, threatening manner. Sucking gently. And then, with the care of a child playing "Operation", he would place the cigarette down on his computer desk. By balancing the fucking thing on the tip of the butt. Swear to god.

The cigarette would stand there, like a porn-star cock, a tiny red line of fire working its way down like sensuous lips, leaving behind a pillar of gray ejaculate. They would burn down to the filter, these towers of ash, until his desk was littered with the delicate corpse of a day's bad habit. You couldn't sneeze around his computer, or it would kick up a cloud like a Hummer on a country road.

The worst part is that the lazy fuck would do this even if there was an ashtray 10 feet away. Collecting them around a keyboard that looked like it was excavated from Pompeii. Not a care in the world.


Happy Birthday you skinny fuck. Get a goddamn haircut.

[ThreeOnAMeathook]

I know I'm probably late, but happy birthday, mate.

Rad list too.

[aspartame]

The cigarette would stand there, like a porn-star cock,.

hahaha im totally gonna try that!

[Morbid]

The worst part is that the lazy fuck would do this even if there was an ashtray 10 feet away. Collecting them around a keyboard that looked like it was excavated from Pompeii. Not a care in the world.

Hey, seriously, it may have been lazy and nasty...but it truly was a work of art. Sometimes I would look at my little skeleton society of abandoned skyscrapers of ash and cotton made courtesy of Winston Lights, and MARVEL at it.

hahaha im totally gonna try that!

It works.

[Athena]

...Winston Lights...

:eek:

No wonder you quit.

[Morbid]

:eek:

No wonder you quit.

Hey, don't hate. Besides, now that I have stopped and choose to be self-righteous, dissing one brand of cigarette over the other is akin to judging the taste of a turd based on it's color.
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oh, dark green IS better.

[ZombieBabe]

I'm a little late to the party, but Happy Birthday just the same....







:go:

[AnalBreeze]

me too, Happy Birthday big guy! :D

[Tolo]

Happy Birthday, Morbid!

[VisualKei]

Happy Birthday Morbid.

[Hippiepoet]

Since Morbid is quite the mystery, I thought I would use his birthday as an excuse to tell you guys a little something about his past.

Back when Morbid and I were real-life friends, he and I were heavy smokers. Except there was a difference in how we went about it. You see, I used to employ these handy devices called "ash-trays". Damndest things, you just flick the charred ash right in this little vessel, and it keeps the ashes in one place, for later disposal.

What Morbid did was something a little less-clever. Morbid tried to keep all of the ash attached to the cigarette. He would smoke in a gingerly fashion, eying the ash in a curious, threatening manner. Sucking gently. And then, with the care of a child playing "Operation", he would place the cigarette down on his computer desk. By balancing the fucking thing on the tip of the butt. Swear to god.

The cigarette would stand there, like a porn-star cock, a tiny red line of fire working its way down like sensuous lips, leaving behind a pillar of gray ejaculate. They would burn down to the filter, these towers of ash, until his desk was littered with the delicate corpse of a day's bad habit. You couldn't sneeze around his computer, or it would kick up a cloud like a Hummer on a country road.

The worst part is that the lazy fuck would do this even if there was an ashtray 10 feet away. Collecting them around a keyboard that looked like it was excavated from Pompeii. Not a care in the world.


Happy Birthday you skinny fuck. Get a goddamn haircut.
Swivel, goddammit, I love you, man. I laughed out loud so hard I had tears coming from my eyes. The cat was looking at me like, "Fuck, something must of set her off from the Dreamin' Demon". :D Very funny story.

[gprime]

Happy birthday...

http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/9526/tommygv6.jpg

[mrbishop77]

Wow, that....is .....disturbing.:D

Happy BDay Morbid.