Democratic Debate on CNN

[swivel]

I'll be "Live-Blogging" this one, so please join in if you can. I'll just be posting my thoughts and reactions as shit happens.

First off: Enormous response from the crowd. Fuck "Super Tuesday", it all comes down to Texas for the first time in my memory. They love this shit and the turnout is going to be insane.

[swivel]

They are standing one foot apart and Hillary has not struck Obama physically. I'm starting to worry that this will not be what I was hoping for.

[V...]

Ha ha ... I'm waiting too Swivel ... I'm waiting too.

[swivel]

Clinton's opening statement:

Hillary is connecting with the Texans. She used to live in Austin and San Antonio. Which makes her a Texan, I suppose. Name-dropping Barbara Jordan, who is too dead to distance herself from Hillary. Name-dropping Ann Richard (applause). Who is also too dead to distance herself from Hillary. Name-dropping Kefka. Must be trying to get on his eye-gougingly ugly website.

Taking credit for everyone in Texas having health care. She is promising to fight for "sick" people. She has a "lifetime of experience" and "proven results". Wants to take more money from the rich and give it to the "middle class" (she means poor people).

Thank you all very much.

[swivel]

Obama's opening statement:

Thanks to the University of Texas. He is saying that he and Clinton are friends (I.E. "DON'T HIT ME!)

We are at war, and our economy (world-leading GDP/capita) is in "shambles". He seems to blame foreclosures on someone OTHER than the greedy fucks that bought houses they can't afford. Sounds like he met a few people who lost their jobs. He is sitting beside another one, why doesn't he talk to her?

Sounds like he talks to a ton of depressing fucks. Not sure how he keeps from slitting his own throat. I wish he would talk to me, my life is fucking perfect.

He and Hillary both have "detailed" solutions. Some are the same, which means some are different. What is not lacking is "good ideas", it is that Washington is where good ideas go to die.

This is already longer than Hillary's speech. Dude is a fucking machine.

He wants to enlist the people in taking back their government. Name-dropping Barbara. But Hillary already did that. Damn, I wish that bitch was still kicking, get her side.

Applause for the nigga.

[swivel]

Fuck. Dude is speaking Spanish. THIS IS AMERICA, ASSHOLE!

Oh... he speaks English pretty well, too.

Question: Would you meet with Cuba's next leader?

Hillary: Cuba deserves a Democracy. They have a chance under Raul. I will be looking for changes (releasing prisoners, opening economy). I will reach out AFTER it demonstrates some change. CHANGE? Isn't that Obama's line? There has to be real changes before I meet with someone that old and smelly. 7/10

Obama: Liberty has not existed throughout the Castro regime. I would meet WITHOUT PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS. Holy shit. He would want preparations. USA needs to talk to their enemies as well as their friends. He wants a loosening on remittances and traveling restrictions. AS A START. Shit. 3/10

Conclusion: Hillary won this one. Obama gets more applause, but Hillary is correct. Goes to show who is more popular at the start.

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Question: How would you be different from your opponent in managing the economy?


Obama: The economy is in trouble. For 4 years. Working harder for less wages. Costs for everything are escalating (not HD-DVD players, brother!). We need to restore a sense of fairness and balance. Like in our tax code. End the Bush Tax cuts for wealthy, and give the poor people more tax breaks. He is promising $1000 for every poor person who will vote for him (not a bad deal). We need to engage in trade, but make sure that our LABOR unions are in charge of this process, not the businesses who are actually doing the trade. Fuck?! We are addicted to foreign oil (I don't know where my oil comes from, asshole, I like all oil). He says all Democrats agree on this agenda. But, how do we get it done? We have to form a working coalition. Overcome the special interests. Which Hillary won't do. 3/10.

Hillary: I agree with a lot of what Obama just said. Tax the rich more. Hurt outsourcers. The rich have had a president for 7 years, now the lazy people need a president for a bit. She wants a trade "time-out". Inspect imported goods more vigorously. She wants to hurt lenders for loaning money at the RATE THE FUCKING FED DETERMINES YOU STUPID FUCKS. Sounds like she has talked to some pitiful people, too. These guys need more happy friends. She just said that millions of Americans are going to be "homeless", and empty neighborhoods will be everywhere. Fuck?! We need greener jobs and more roads. Rebuild America. End Bush's war on science (she is all over the fucking place). We need to be the "Innovation Nation" Catchy! 3/10

Conclusion: Draw.

[swivel]

Question: Would you stop raids on undocumented immigrants?

Hillary: Leaving babies in toilets is NOT the America I know. It is an admission of failure by the US government. We need immigration reform. Tougher borders, cracking down on employers. I want to work with Mexico to create more jobs for their people. Open a path for legal immigration. They need to learn English, be deported if they commit crimes, and this will be done in the first 100 days. 9/10

Obama: I would add - I've worked on this before in the Senate (House killed it). Critical that we tone down the rhetoric in immigration debate. Ugly talk directed at Hispanic community, hate crimes, etc... We are a nation of immigrants (except those 6 Injuns we ain't killed yet). Need to require that a path to citizenship means that new applications go to the back of the line. But, we need to fix the LEGAL immigration system (long waits, backlog, increased fees). Work with Mexico to fix THEIR side of the border. 9/10

Conclusion: Obama squeaks a win here. Near-draw.

[swivel]

HILLARY PUNCHED OBAMA!!! HILLARY PUNCHED OBAMA!!!



(j/k)

[swivel]

Question: Would you commit tonight to finishing the fence, speed up construction, or halt construction?

Hillary: Having been along the border (she is a Texan, remember), I can say there is a smart way to protect the borders, and a dumb way. And Texans are dumb. There may be places where a fence is needed. I voted for a fence thinking it would be a fence with very large gaps in it. Bush is an idiot. He started building a fence that went all the way across the border. I would not have voted had I known the fence wasn't going to have holes in it. Now she promotes "technology" instead of a "physical barrier". She must think Mexicans are dumb. Damn. She wants more people policing the borders, instead of an expensive fence. Bitch, the fence works for free once you build it! 1/10

Obama: I agree. Bush is a moron. I will reverse the policy that I previously voted for. A fence with holes is better than a fence that goes around all of your property. American people want justice, we are not going to deport the 12 million illegals, but they want order to the process. We need to deal with the constant influx, while getting the 12,000,000 out of the shadows. We need to pass an agreement that gives children raised here a college education. 3/10

Conclusion: Hillary is dumb.

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Question: Should America become bilingual? (He asked this with some Spanish thrown in the smarmy fuck)

Hillary: English needs to be our unified language. It brings us together. It is what immigrants have always done. But, I have voted AGAINST English being our "official" language. I represent NY, where people can't speak proper English to save their lives. English is important. It is the common language of our country. 5/10 (chickenshit)

Obama: It is important that everyone learns English. It binds us as a country. But, every student should learn a second language, and forget every word of it by the time you are a Senior. The world is more co-dependent. We need to communicate across borders, which is why kids need two languages. Standardized tests suck, I prefer teachers to pad grades to make themselves look like they are doing a decent job of fucking our kid's skulls.

Conclusion: McCain is going to fuck Obama's wife and whip both these guys on this issue.

[swivel]

Commercials.

Goddamn, this is exhausting for a hunt-and-peck typer. How am I doing? Is it almost over? Who is winning?

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Question: Hillary, you say the choice is "Talk vs. Action". Are you saying Obama is "All hate and no cattle".

Hillary: I've said that about Bush. Bush is an idiot. (applause) Sen. Obama and I have a lot in common. We both care about the future. We have run a vigorous campaign which is civil compared to bullshit that I've done in the past. But we see the world differently. And I offer solutions. I've been doing this for the past 35 years as the tag-along wife of an elected official. Our records and accomplishments have differences. An Obama supporter the other night couldn't name a SINGLE thing Obama has ever done. (DAMN!!!) 7/10 on the beat-down scale.

Obama: Actions do speak louder than words. Over the past 20 years, I have acted a lot. (lists some shit). Nigga, point out the fact that Hillary has LESS experience than you do! She's been elected to office TWICE. Nail the bitch. Sheesh... he is still listing shit he's done. Why is the semi-colon under my pinky? I never use the fucking semi-colon. There should be a vowel there. He's saying we have had 19 debates, and the people have seen them, and every major paper in Texas endorses me. Are these people being duped? Or are they duped by Washington? We need to stop bickering and get some shit done, yo. The reason I'm doing well is because people understand that we need to inspire people to get involved in government in order to unite this country and get shit done. 8/10. MASSIVE applause. Hillary is squirming. Foot-stomping, now. Shit.

Conclusion: Obama hit that like O.J.

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Question: You've been accused of plagiarism.

Obama: You are talking about two lines in a single speech out of the thousands that I have given over the past months. Lines from my National Co-Chair, who gave me the line and suggested that I use it, so this honkey bitch is silly. This is the "silly season" in politics, which discourages people. People want to know about jobs, healthcare, and affordable education. He admits that some of his speeches are "pretty good". Now he is listing some of his better ideas. Obama just served up a FACIAL! 10/10. The plagiarism debacle just worked in his favor. Unreal reaction.

Hillary: If your candidacy is about words, they should be your own words. You shouldn't be able to Xerox your positions (Obama mutters some shit to the bitch here, the crowd boos). Wow. This is what CNN will be running for a week. Low fucking blow. She says to "go look at the Youtube videos". She is pointing out differences in policy (mortgage moratoriums, universal healthcare). She says we need to come together after smacking him down. Obama is raising his hand to speak while Hillary waxes about her failed attempt at universal healthcare.

Obama: I will debate differences in issues. But bitch better watch her mouth or I'm gonna blacken that other eye. He goes on to say that his healthcare plan focuses on reducing costs, not on FORCING everyone to have healthcare. The 15 million left out are the ones that don't want healthcare, not the people I'm ignoring.

Conclusion: This was the "smackdown" question so far. And it was designed as such. I think Obama came out fine here, Hillary looks desperate.

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Question: Hillary, do you think that Obama isn't ready to be Commander in Chief.

Hillary: Your question sucks. I want to talk about healthcare. We need to force everyone to have healthcare. Liberty is overrated. Socialism is better than Democracy.

Obama: Bitch is crazy.

Moderator: Get back on topic, please.

Hillary: No. This issue is more important. Obama's plan has a mandate on parents to insure children, or be subject to a fine. His plan sucks.

Obama: My plan does not suck. You suck. (the moderators are SOOOOO pissed. These guys have taken over the debate. Hillary is grinning like phone is on vibrate and Bill keeps calling)

Moderator: Back to the original question. In English. Is Obama not ready to be Commander in Chief?

Hillary: I've been around the world. Served on the Senate Armed Services Committee. I have been married to a CIF. Serious problems are present in the world. Lists some current-events. I think that I will be ready on Day One to be president, turn our economy around, and clean up Bush's mess.

Obama: I wouldn't be running if I didn't think I was a good CIF. My number one job is to keep Americans safe. I will not hesitate to act against those who would do us harm. I will support our troops, properly rotate them, supply them, train them, etc. I will use our military wisely. I was against the way. The bitch to my left was wrong. Don't forget that she started the war she now promises to end. I was right and bitch was wrong. Who's the man now, dawg? 7/10

Conclusion: Obama won this round (both of them). Hillary is PISSED.

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Question: Were you guys wrong to vote against the surge? Is Iraq better off today, than it was 6 months ago, because of the surge?

Hillary: Our soldiers are awesome. So more of them was more awesome. But the surge has failed because the Iraqi government hasn't done enough to take advantage of the relative calm that is present now. I want to withdraw our troops within 60 days of taking office. Because camel-jockeys don't deserve our love and protection. We are wasting money and lives and all we stand to do is bring liberty to hundreds of millions of other human beings. But their skin is darker, so they need to take care of themselves. 0/10 Massive fail here. Same party that mocks Bush for not being willing to admit when HE is wrong. You were wrong, bitch. Own up. McCain would destroy you.

Obama: The violence has been reduced. But our soldiers should get all the credit for this, and McCain needs to go to hell. This is just a tactical victory in a huge strategic blunder. I am better-suited to combat McCain because I am not the hypocrite that Hillary is on the war. Our foreign aid to South America is 2.7 billion, which is what we spend in Iraq in a week. We need to honor our veterans more. 1/10. Same unwillingness as Hillary to admit he is a douche to vote against the troops, then use them for political gain.

Conclusion: These idiots are wrong on the war. They only oppose it because a Republican started it.

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Question: Obama, you had 91 million in earmarks. Will you disclose where that money went?

Obama: I already have. I helped start "Google for Government" where citizens can see what we are doing, who sponsored it, who got the contract, etc. The idea is to open up the process and have more disclosure. Now, these projects are important for our States, and the votes I get for them in return. 10/10

Hillary: (her number was 342 million) Bush inherited a balanced budget and a surplus and it is now gone (bullshit, that surplus was gone before he was sworn in, it was a BUBBLE ECONOMY). I want to tax the rich and give to the poor. More Bush-Blaming, ignoring the question... No score for not answering the question.

Conclusion: Blowout.

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Question: Should Superdelegates vote their conscious?

Hillary: It will sort itself out. We will have a unified party and go on to victory in November.

Obama: These primaries should count for something.

Conclusion: Obama has already won the nomination.

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Question: What was the moment of crisis that tested you the most?

Obama: It wasn't a single moment. It was the entire trajectory of my life. I've had some rocky moments when I was off course. The most important thing for me was to learn how to take responsibility for my own actions. It was a cumulative experience. 5/10. Unique answer, but wholly unsatisfying. I want TRAUMA, nigga!

Hillary: My husband. (MASSIVE APPLAUSE)

Conclusion: I would say Hillary, but she stayed with the fucktwat, so what did she learn? Obama.

[swivel]

It is over and no blood was drawn.

I don't think Hillary did what she needed to do here. She needed to attack him, but she played him for a draw.

The only way this works is if the negative ads are in the works, and they spend the rest of their limited funds on these last two states.

I still think Hillary is done. Even if she wins these two states, it will be by slim margins, splitting the delegates. When he beats her, it is by a wide margin. He can't be caught, the superdelegates won't save her, this shit is OVER.

[impqueen]

Swiv Is Magical, can you come to my house and personally give me the play by play of every single debate forever? Bring the wife and a lasagna, I'll pour Chianti or sweet tea, and then I can turn the volume off and laugh.

This bitch crazy, indeed. 'Cause you know that's what he was saying under his breath there for awhile.

[CPL CHUD]

This thread made me regret watching the debate in the first place. Swivel was channeling what these muppets were really thinking.

[swivel]

This thread made me regret watching the debate in the first place. Swivel was channeling what these muppets were really thinking.

It was fun for me even if nobody else ever read it. I hate I didn't do this earlier. It made watching so much more fun.

Also makes live-blogging an MMA event seem like a breeze in comparison. You can't appreciate how bad these guys are at sticking to a single topic until you are parsing it into text.

Watching the aftermath today, everyone I have seen has agreed with my initial reaction. Hillary didn't deliver the knockout punch needed, and some are even saying that her comments about "being fine after all of this" sounded very much like a concession speech.

It will be Obama vs. McCain. I don't think the media will be able to besmirch the reputation of either man. They are heavy contrasts, but neither man is a fanatic within their respective party. The unusual case of having two eloquent public servants, neither of whom would be terrible for our country, having a discourse on issues that are polar opposites of one another. But, both of them claim that their ideas are truly what will serve this country best.

This should be epic.