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Owd Scrat

Well-Known Member
Hi all

I've just been in hell for weeks now. I don't know if I'm going or coming.

A little after Hallowe'en my son Seth who's 3 in January was diagnosed with Leukemia. He's really sick and with the treatment now even worse. Hes been such an angel though, I spend every moment he's awake with him, it's so so precious now. It always was but its in sharp relief and I love him moe than anything in the world. The doctors are positive about the outcome.

I was very angry now I'm extremely depressed and am terrified, I don't what to say, do or think anymore. I hide everything for him, I don't want him to see me scared, crying or anything. I feel like I'm going to break and lose my mind.

I don't know. I just can't grasp the idea of losing him, I can't make it if he does. What do I do????

I'm very alone with no family. My mom died 6 years ago. My sisters are back in Wi.

I'm stark fucking terrified and lost. I don't even know exactly why I'm posting this , to reach out in this hell I guess. I feel I have no right to impose on others. I am not myself at all, whatever that is. I dont know anything, anymore.

Please please pray, send positive energy, kind thoughts and whatever luck you can spare to my precious angel. I jokingly call him my angel cherub lover babe, among the other dozen nicknames I have for him.

Thank you very much for being able to post and share something so devasting.

Share
 

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Jesus Owd, why didn't you say something? My hormone problems are nothing compared to this! I am so sorry honey, he is an angel pie. I hope he will be ok, and even though I can be a huge freakin bitch you can talk to me anytime, day or night. I am almost always here, just lurking.
 
Share,

I'm so sorry to hear that your little boy is sick. Leukemia is rough - chemo is not fun. What type does Seth have?

I'm glad to hear the doctors are positive about his prognosis, but I know how hard this can be on both of you. Seth - and you - are in my thoughts. I'm here if you need anything or want to talk, or just yell at the universe.
 
There are just absolutely no words I can think of to say that would help or alleviate any of your stress, but I'll be sending my well wishes and good thoughts in your family's direction.
 
I am so sorry for all you are going through. I am glad to hear the doctors are positive. You are in my thoughts. Please post and come to us to blow off steam anytime.

 
Owd, I am so sorry to hear about this. I hope he gets better as soon as possible. He is a beautiful little boy and I hope that it gets better!
 
Jesus Owd, why didn't you say something? My hormone problems are nothing compared to this! I am so sorry honey, he is an angel pie. I hope he will be ok, and even though I can be a huge freakin bitch you can talk to me anytime, day or night. I am almost always here, just lurking.

Nell, I just read your blog and I can completely relate!! After Seth was born I also had my tubes tied. My depression and all around CRAZYNESS was off the charts. I'd cry for hours, for no reason. Or for the stupidest reasons. I was SO irritable!! Angry alot too. What hell!

Don't feel your problems are any less, we all have loads to bare, in the middle of them they all feel equally hellish and never ending! Thank you so much for your kind words! :hug:

Everyone else who has so quickly posted and are thinking such loving and healing thoughts .....THANK YOU. Just from these little posts I feel stronger, sounds sad I suppose but i'm so alone.

You guys are awesome :hug: :hug: :hug:

:grouphug:
 
I'm sorry that you are going through this, Owd. I have no children, but I know it can't be easy. You will both be in my thoughts and I wish you both the best of luck. He looks precious and I am glad to hear that the doctors have positive thoughts. I am also here if needed, for anything...you came to the right place. Keep us updated, and remember you're not alone
 
Of course I'll pray for your son. Great strides are being made every day in childhood leukemia research, these days the cure rate is over 70%! Back as recently as the 'late 70's it was the reverse, only a 30% cure rate.

http://www.leukemia-info.com/support.html

http://www.chop.edu/consumer/jsp/division/generic.jsp?id=80749

Yes! I've read as much as I can on it all, his chances are so much better than ever before too. It was caught early. I noticed some changes....nothing major. From just normal bumping and falling a toddler does he was covered in bruises. He would cry and tell me his arm or shoulder would hurt...but I never saw him hurt it. He just seemed tired alot and not his usual loud and rambunctious self. I thought it might be anemia, I had that when I was little. Many same symptoms I guess. I'm so glad I brought him in right away.
 
Share, you are a soul I know only through postings and I can say that I would like to know you better. My heart goes out to you. Your little angel is so beautiful. I am here for you in any way that you need.

May prayers and thoughts of healing energy find their way to you and little Seth.

Kisses sweet one.
 
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Hi all
Please please pray, send positive energy, kind thoughts and whatever luck you can spare to my precious angel. I jokingly call him my angel cherub lover babe, among the other dozen nicknames I have for him.

Thank you very much for being able to post and share something so devasting.

Share

Share,

Damn, that is a tough one to deal with. As you see here, there are plenty of good people that understand and are more than willing to help you though a tough time.

Seth looks like a tough customer that will fight through this. He's a good lookin little man.

I do know this, you can't hide feelings from kids. It's OK to be scared and it's OK for him to know you are. You both face tough, scary times and anyone would be scared, adult or child. All they really want from us is love because it makes life less scary.

I've seen these folks do some amazing things, and put some very scared kids and their parents at ease when facing tough times. Maybe they can be of some help. http://www.shrinershq.org/Hospitals/Main/

All my best wishes for you and your little man.

R
 
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Share,

I'm so sorry to hear that your little boy is sick. Leukemia is rough - chemo is not fun. What type does Seth have?

I'm glad to hear the doctors are positive about his prognosis, but I know how hard this can be on both of you. Seth - and you - are in my thoughts. I'm here if you need anything or want to talk, or just yell at the universe.

He has Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, I had no idea there were so many kinds of Leukemia. It's all so overwhelming trying take everything in and then all the treatment and different medications too.
 
Owd shitfire I am glad you unloaded a little. Please anytime you need to vent do so. Whoah I am with Nell, I wished you would have shared already. Sometimes just being able to talk to someone, anyone is a relief. Honestly my sister, I cannot imagine either one of my children being ill. My heart goes out to you. Your son is so beautiful and like others have said the cure rate for Leukemia is so much better. Please, keep us posted. Use this thread to vent, updates, laugh, cry, whatever you need to do. Big hugs. PM me anytime. Need to talk? I will give you my number.
Much love and peace,
Hippie
 
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Owd, my heart is breaking with yours! That is so upsetting to hear this news and I wish I was close enough to do this in person (((((((owd)))))))). I'm glad you have opened up to us so we can be here for you. Please don't hesitate to PM me when you feel like talking. My prayers are with you and your son.

Also, on are Social Group Pizza Party we have a prayer thread and I will make sure I post there for you. Please consider joining our Group so we can be there for you.
 
Sending healing thoughts and prayers. Hope Seth gets better quickly.
Please send a PM if you want to talk or just vent.
 
Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia support group
Owd, I googled this and several different groups came up.
and what raven said..

My sister is an RN and went through this with her two year old 7 years ago.
I called her and asked what you should do. She said get in touch with one of these groups right way. They are so helpful, you can find success stories and people who are going thru the same thing you are.

I'm giving every ounce of my love and hope for you now.
I hope this helps. Malq
 
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Owd, I am so very sorry to hear about Seth's illness. He is a very beautiful boy. I know he is strong like his mother and he will make it. Don't think otherwise. Sending you both good wishes, positive energy and even prayers.

... for you both
 
If you need to talk I'm here, I may not have gone through what you are, but I can listen with the best of them, & I've got experience with cancer unfortunately. You aren't imposing on anyone with this, but then again I've stopped from reaching out myself so many times for that reason, so I understand it, its hard to work against it.

I hope with all my heart everything turns out ok

:hug:
 
Well Damn!

What a sweet face he has. You and yours are in my thoughts.

(my baby has the same double cowlick that gives him the rooster do! I love it)
 
Owd
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son. Knowing you will have enough strength to get both you and Seth through this. It's amazing what we can do, when we are faced with these very unpleasant life situations.
 
((((((hugs)))))))

Owd,
Onething you don't have to worry about is being all alone, like "special" said there's a thread for prayers, come on over.
It was created for members who need a shoulder to lean on, cry on...whatever you need !
 
Aww Owd I am so sorry to hear about your son. I am sending you positive energy, thoughts and prayers your way.

(((((( hugs )))))))
 
Owd sweets
There is not much I can add other than you and your son will surely be in my thoughts.

I agree with Malq - find a local support group or even an online one of folks who have been in your position. That will help with hope and feeling alone.

And you can surely lean on any or all of us. There is a big family here and we all care. Tough times are what friends are for and no one needs to suffer in silence. I'm glad you shared.

Feel free to PM me - even if it's for nothing more than vent.
 
I can't even imagine the stress you must be dealing with. My daughter was ten weeks early, and that was scary enough!

If it's OK with you, I can post his name to a reiki list I'm on. positive energy can be a very good thing sometimes.

and along with everyone else... I'm available any time, if you need someone to vent to.

-Linda/LadyE
 
Owd, I'm so very sorry to hear this.

I am, however, happy to hear he's got ALL. I became familiar with leukemia through the story of a child with AML, and that's another story altogether. ALL is totally beatable, and doctors are doing better all the time. So many kids get through ALL just fine. I am sending all good thoughts that Seth will be one of the many.

There are great support groups out there for parents dealing with catastrophic illness. What state do you live in, Owd? I might be able to direct you to resources, depending on where you are. Also, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society does great work, including providing resource information. Touch base with them if you haven't already.

I am a regular platelet donor because of the constant need leukemia patients have for platelets. When next I donate, I shall do it with Seth's speedy recovery in my heart.
 
I am so very sorry. Of course i'll pray for Seth and you. Everyday. Please lean on everyone here for strength as I personally can tell you they are wonderful. I will go now to the prayer thread and get a prayer chain started, it really does help.

I'm really glad the doctors see a positive out come for him, he's a beautiful child. God bless both of you, Peeper
 
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