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bowling68

Well-Known Member
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A Phoenix toddler died in the back seat of a hot car, trying in vain to free himself after his drunken father left him there and went inside the house to sleep it off, authorities said Tuesday.

James Koryor, 41, was arrested and charged with manslaughter and child abuse, police said.

"It was an absolutely horrific death," Phoenix Police Sgt. Trent Crump said Tuesday,KTVK-TV reported.

There were no car seats inside the vehicle, and the boy tried desperately to get out, Crump said. It was not clear whether the doors were locked.

The dad was supposed to take his 2-year-old boy, along with his 5-year-old son, to get haircuts. Instead, he drove to a liquor store, bought a bottle of gin and drank it before driving home at about 2 p.m., police said.

Koryor went inside and fell asleep. The 5-year-old somehow managed to get out of the car, but the toddler was left behind with the windows up as high temperatures soared past 90.

The interior of the car was damaged from the toddler's attempts to get out, Crump said.

The mother was inside the home, studying. She discovered her son's body about 4 p.m., when she went out to drive to class. Neighbors said they heard weeping and wailing from the family's driveway.

Officers initially said there was confusion among family members about who was watching the children. Koryor later admitted to investigators that he had been drinking heavily, police said.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...ler-hot-car-boy-dies-police-article-1.2193143
 
He still looks drunk in the mugshot.

The five year old didn't run to mom and tell her two year old was still in the car?

ETA: My kids would have been all over each other tattling.
 
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Mom didn't notice dad came through the door A.) Missing children and B.) DRUNK? And the five year old when he went in the house he didn't tell mom hey my bro is stuck in the car?
 
ETA: My kids would have been all over each other tattling.

LOL I was thinking the same thing about my munchkins because after I down gin and leave my kids in the car they always make sure everyone's out. :sarcasm:
 
This whole story from start to finish is terrible. :(
Mom and Dad .. both negligent and a baby would be alive if they weren't fuckin IDIOTS !! :finger::finger::finger:
We can ask 900 questions ... why this? why that? plain and simple they both killed that kid.
 
Idk what to say. If I were to try to psych this sorry fucker out I'd say this: piece of shit drinking in the middle of the day while his girl studying shows he either has no motivation or feeling like a joke coz she's bettering herself and he's just a loser. So instead of doing right he goes and gets drunk to make himself feel "better" forgetting the baby can't just jump the fuck out the car like the 5y/o. Everyone assumes the baby is asleep in another room like dad. And we all know what assuming gets you.
I will admit if my husband has the kids I do check to see if he has both of them coz it's not that I don't trust him it's just shit happens.
What a crock of shit. The cops would have been picking up two bodies coz I would have stabbed the drunk motherfucker with that gin bottle. See how much he like that gin now.
 
Somehow I don't think it would have taken me two hours to realize my two year old wasn't in the house. Even in my college days when I was Nanny and Student and often studied with littles around. Also, if I knew my husband had the ability to drink a bottle of gin in a short amount of time I would have been doubly on top of things. I mean come on, it wasn't his first time drinking nor her first time dealing with the ramifications of his drinking. I applaud her trying to better herself, I just think she checked out on her kids once too often.

I appreciate that perspective, and you could be right, but without more detail, you are preaching from a high horse. We don't know that she knew he had the ability (or even propensity) to drink a full bottle of gin in no time flat, in the middle of the day. Personal circumstances can change, and people who used to start at a routine 5:00pm cocktail hour are suddenly downing something early out of nowhere. I mean, he was taking them to get haircuts. Instead, he went to the liquor store. It's unreasonable to expect mom to foresee that decision in the absence of prior DUIs or any other alcohol-related misconduct, which hasn't been reported. Maybe mom was studying that hard and long because, up to that point, she was given no reason to have anything but the utmost faith in his ability as a father?

And, we don't know what she was studying. I'm preparing for a mechanical engineering degree, and I fully expect to be checked out for two hours straight sometimes. :p
 
@Athena, I get you, but having dealt with the type that can pound even a pint of hard alcohol in the blink of an eye, it's rarely a brand new habit. (Those MC guys can drink, know what I'm sayin'?) The guy is 41, I kind of have to stand by my original thoughts. Just like I wouldn't wear ear buds while studying if there were littles in the house, I wouldn't trust that for two whole hours my two year old was being silent. Just me. Might stem from having falsely been accused of child abuse when I was 13? (Even the cops didn't buy the accusations because they knew me) I'm not sure, but I'm a checker, annoyingly so. :)

I was raised by alcoholics. The first time I experienced my dad chugging a bottle was when I was grown and picked him up to go Christmas shopping for mom. He had always been an occasional cocktail hour wino. I just don't like throwing anyone under the bus in the absence of irrefutable evidence. We can assume he exhibited prior behavior, but I can easily see how this would play out otherwise. In the meantime, this woman lost a child whose life she was schooling herself to improve. He's the bad guy. I don't like making studying mom a villain. <3
 
the article said she was studying.

Yes but studying in the home... I am not blaming her per say, however, studying does not put your parenting obligations on hold. When she was getting ready to go to school she didn't notice her baby was not in the home, she noticed when she went to go to school. This leads me to believe there is a lack of proper supervision in the home, and why her priorities in some areas are spot on, others areas are lacking to say the least...

And it also states the neighbors heard crying and weeping from the driveway, they too are lacking something...
 
I do check to see if he has both of them coz it's not that I don't trust him it's just shit happens.

Thank you! Shit does happen and I refuse to turn otherwise loving and caring parents into monsters because they made a horrible mistake. In this case though, yeah - WTF dude, you had to get that shitty drunk with your kids in the car? I am surprised he didn't crash the car. I see tear streaks on his face in the mug shot, I am sure he will never forgive himself.

To the mom though, I cannot cast any blame her way until there is more info. Perhaps, she was studying out back and didn't even know they came home? Maybe she had her ear buds in and music blasting. The story gives me no indication of her knowing anything other than the boys dad took them to get haircuts.
 
Just like I wouldn't wear ear buds while studying if there were littles in the house, I wouldn't trust that for two whole hours my two year old was being silent. Just me... I'm not sure, but I'm a checker, annoyingly so. :)

I will admit if my husband has the kids I do check to see if he has both of them coz it's not that I don't trust him it's just shit happens.

These comments perfectly sum up responsible, attentive parenting. When I was raising my daughter, I never would have presumed she was "ok" for two friggin' hours without checking on her in some fashion. Before gaining sole custody of her at the age of 4, I knew I had to stand as a barrier between her safety and her mother's drinking. You can remove the alcoholism from the equation, if you wish, and I still would have been checking up on her, because it's what you "just do" as a parent concerned about the safety of your child. Hell, if I don't hear any noise from my wife for more than 30 minutes, I'm asking her if she's "okay" or if she needs anything.

I also went to school while my daughter was growing up, and did my studying either with her, to encourage her own sense of studying and doing homework, or after she went to sleep, because I didn't want to shortchange her childhood.

Even with another responsible adult in the household, I think both should be "keeping an ear open" to what's going on around them, rather than holing up in some bubble world because it's the other parent's "turn" to watch the child. It's never somebody else's "turn;" if it's your child then you are always involved, 24/7.

For those parents who are not that involved, well, they end up here, as a story, where we sit around and bitch about their stupidity.
 
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Yes but studying in the home
I can KIND OF see why Mom MAY not have noticed:
While I was in school, it was a well-known rule in my house that I was NOT to be disturbed. The boys/hubs came in and out of the house very quietly and there were times where I would realize that I hadn't heard anything from them in a while. Sometimes I'd check, sometimes I wouldn't. Of course, I didn't have a gin swilling loser and my kids were a tad older, so I trusted that they were all fine and well. If I did NOT have that trust, then I would have checked every time there was any sort of movement or noise in the house.
 
There's zoned out and plain ol' don't give a shit. The mom falls into the later for me. Studying or not, your children come first. If I sent my kids off to get hair cuts, it wouldn't matter what I was doing, when they got home I'd stop to check out the new hair cuts and compliment them on it. She was so wrapped up that she didn't even want to see their new do's? Kids get excited over silly little things like that and run to show it off. She didn't even check after she was done studying, she only found him because she went to get in the car and leave.
 
Ewwww, this is a sticky and godawful sad one. :( Personally, I've gotta take the alcohol out of it in order to understand this one, even though he most likely wouldn't have left the kids in the car, and probably would've gone in to talk to mom to at least say, "We're back," or whatever had he not been shit-faced. Just a guess, but maybe he didn't want mom knowing he'd gotten drunk when he was just supposed to be doing something as simple as taking the kids for haircuts, either. (?)

I really can't judge this one well b/c I've always been hypervigilant and borderline neurotic about certain things and I haven't always considered it a good or "normal" thing, just a "me" thing, but b/c of it, "Oh my God! I thought you had the kids!?" was never a question I had to/would've had to ask anyone. On the other hand, we know this crap happens with or without booze, etc., w/parents who deliberately leave their kids in the car in hot weather.

Whereas I'd be asking to see the kids haircuts the minute they hit the door no matter what I was doing (I'm sound aware to the point of hearing a fly sneeze - survival thing), I can see a situation where maybe mom heard them come in, heard the 5 y.o. running around/talking in the house, maybe even talked to him for a few minutes, and naturally assumed the 2 y.o. had come in with him and was with dad, and also assumed that dad may have gone in the other room with the 2 y.o. to watch tv or something. As nutso as I was/am, I can actually see that being a normal scenario w/people who trust each other. That's the one thing that stands out to me the most (assuming they're normal, otherwise non-negligent parents), and that's that mom, rightly or wrongly, trusted him with the kids, and that trust is no small thing between caring parents/partners.

Did he make a deadly mistake? The worst a parent can make when they choose to drive impaired with their kids, IMPO. But w/no more history/info than we have (and this is just me), his pic looks like he's shell-shocked (in addition to some impairment) and those tear stains look real. I can't imagine how either of them feels and I can't even let my mind go there thinking about what the baby went through, but I just thank my lucky stars I've never had to find out. :pout:

ETA: Just caught your comment about wanting to see the haircuts after I posted, Sudo. I'm the same way.
 
Even with another responsible adult in the household, I think both should be "keeping an ear open" to what's going on around them, rather than holing up in some bubble world because it's the other parent's "turn" to watch the child. It's never somebody else's "turn;" if it's your child then you are always involved, 24/7.

For those parents who are not that involved, well, they end up here, as a story, where we sit around and bitch about their stupidity.

I've been podcasting on and off for the site for the entirety of my child's life. And on those evenings, I make sure I am completely uninterrupted by our child... for the two hours it often takes.

I guess I'm a bad parent? Give me a fuckin' break.

I pity the parents who didn't believe it was healthy for everyone for them to occasionally take time out to focus on their own needs and interests.

I need to walk away from this thread. A mom is getting lambasted for taking a mere two hours to study... WHILE she thought her husband was out running an errand with the children. Just un-fucking-believably self-righteous, baselessly judgmental nonsense.
 
I've been podcasting on and off for the site for the entirety of my child's life. And on those evenings, I make sure I am completely uninterrupted by our child... for the two hours it often takes.

I guess I'm a bad parent? Give me a fuckin' break.

I pity the parents who didn't believe it was healthy for everyone for them to occasionally take time out to focus on their own needs and interests.

I need to walk away from this thread. A mom is getting lambasted for taking a mere two hours to study... WHILE she thought her husband was out running an errand with the children. Just un-fucking-believably self-righteous, baselessly judgmental nonsense.

I'm not lambasting her for studying. I'm lambasting her for not giving two fucks. They obviously share a vehicle, since she went to get into it and discovered her son passed out inside. Where were the car seats? Two children, zero car seats.

The child was not gone for 2 hours. He left, went to the liquor store and drove back home. He was home by 2pm and the mom went to class at 4pm. The child sat in the driveway baking to death for 2 hours. She had 2 hours after they'd came home to wonder about her children's welfare. Heck even if she thought the littlest was sleeping, she didn't even check on him or give him a kiss on the way out the door to class.

There's a huge difference between taking "me" time or study time and just plain old not caring enough to even say good bye or see the new hair cuts. If your girl got a hair cut wouldn't you want to see it? Even if it's for 5 minutes while they are sleeping before you run out the door?
 
A mom is getting lambasted for taking a mere two hours to study... WHILE she thought her husband was out running an errand with the children.
I have to agree with you @Athena , shocking because we tend to disagree on a lot.

She didn't leave the kids with a babysitter, the DOTM, or anything else like we too many times see here. The kids were with their FATHER, their 41 year old FATHER, that's who she is supposed to be able to trust with their kids. And I can't fault her for trusting him to watch the children as she would. I trust my husband with my kids and they are not his biological children, but he is my husband, a man that I trust with my life or I wouldn't have married him. Does that make me a negligent mother?

Unless something Earth-shattering comes out about the mother, I can't blame her, I can't blame her for trusting the kids' father with the kids. She didn't do anything that most of us wouldn't do without hesitation.

Would I have checked out my kids' haircuts? Yep, I would have, but that doesn't make me a good parent and her a bad parent, it just means I would have. Would I have kissed my kids before leaving for school? Yep, but she didn't, again a difference that doesn't make one of us bad and the other good. That still doesn't make what HE did her fault.
 
My husband, the kids and I went shopping together about 3 weeks after my Emma was born. We had a ton of groceries to unload and because the place where we pulled our van in was shaded, we always got the kids out last, due to an incident where my 3 yr old had tried to run to the road while I was trying to unload groceries. ( we initially got the kids out first, it was our routine, but after Kiersa tried to run to the road, we changed our routine.) So, anyway groceries are in and we're getting kids out of the van. This was our first trip together since Emma had been born. I see my husband on her side of the van unbuckling her. I get my two oldest girls out and we go in and dad is coming behind with Kiersa. Per our routine, we now have everyone in, bolt the door, start putting away groceries. Not even 5 minutes had passed because I had taken my shoes off and as I walked into the kitchen to assist in putting groceries away, my husband asked, "Where's Emma?"
I ran outside scooped her up and held her, shaking and sobbing. My husband was just unbuckling her and adjusting the baby shade on the window. I had processed it as he had gotten her out. I will NEVER forgive myself for that. The van door was still open and she wasn't even sweating but all I could think of was what if it was summer? What if the door hadn't been open? What if it would have been a shopping trip while my husband was at work? Since that day I neurotically count my kids, over and over, making sure we are all together and safe. Nothing even close to that has happened since that day.
But...It did happen, even if only for a moment. It happened to me, and with the shit I read here, It never should have. I have no excuse.
I have 7 Budweisers in my fridge in case I get the urge to drink. They've been there almost three months. I have 2/3 of a bottle of red wine on my counter, but I'm pretty sure it needs to be thrown out. If I ever downed a bottle of gin I wouldn't make it in the house.
ETA: My point would be kinda useful, huh? My point is it can happen without booze involved, without malice. I am thankful my husband was on the ball because he saved her. But we were doing an activity together. If we hadn't been? I don't even want to consider. We don't 'take turns' parenting but we do believe in giving each other 'breaks' from the children. I am really torn on this one. I'm trying very hard not to blame the mom out of what I believe is a desire to just blame someone, anyone, because a precious baby is gone.
 
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BTW, I completely blame the dad, just on the fence about the mom. Leaning towards her being uninvolved to a degree due to the lack of carseats alone. @Krystal said it best about it not making you a good or bad mom for checking haircut, kissing goodbye, but the carseat issue does not fall under parenting preferences or styles.
 
I can KIND OF see why Mom MAY not have noticed:
While I was in school, it was a well-known rule in my house that I was NOT to be disturbed. The boys/hubs came in and out of the house very quietly and there were times where I would realize that I hadn't heard anything from them in a while. Sometimes I'd check, sometimes I wouldn't. Of course, I didn't have a gin swilling loser and my kids were a tad older, so I trusted that they were all fine and well. If I did NOT have that trust, then I would have checked every time there was any sort of movement or noise in the house.
I can totally see that, I think you not have a gin swilling husband gave you that peace of mind :rolleyes:
 
I can totally see that, I think you not have a gin swilling husband gave you that peace of mind :rolleyes:
Assuming he wasn't good at hiding his drinking.

I'll give my personal example: When I detoxed in 2012 I had been an addict for 20 years, my then-husband of at that point 8 years didn't know until the last year or 2, so for about 6 years of our marriage he had no idea I was a drug-addict because I was a functional addict. If he is an alcoholic he could very well be a functional alcoholic and she doesn't know the full extent of his problem.
 
Do even functional alcoholics need to drink regularly to avoid shaking? Or maintain a certain amount of alcohol in the system? Because if they do, and she was aware of his problem to any degree, why would she let him be unsupervised with the kids?
 
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