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That is not at all what I mean. Of course it is a baby it just is not going to resemble one. It will be so tiny I do t see how cremation would be an option. Don't try and make me out to be a mean person for telling the truth. I have lost babies from 3 weeks to,32 weeks.

I really dont think you realized that your comment could have been taken as a little condescending. Any person over 12 would know what the baby looked like at 7 weeks. It just seemed like you were giving an anatomy lesson to a women who has children, and is aware of how pregnancy works, because she is in fact not 12.

I know loss better than anyone.

:bored:
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So what would you suggest I do with my baby?
whatever it is you think will make you feel better. no matter what you wont be the first person to do it. Be persistent and you will find someone who will help you. I would start with the hospitals and churches, I am sure they can help you figure out what to do next. Again, prepare yourself for insensitivity, but be persistent.
 
@disgusted4sho

<3 <3 <3

My d&c was performed at the hospital.

I only tell you this to illustrate that insensitivity about early miscarriage is awfully common. But my baby was referred to in my paperwork as "products of conception". It was hard to read. I understand the need for clinical terminology, but they might want to rethink that one.

Also, I do not recall being offered options for the remains. My memory is a bit foggy. So I do not know what was done.


If I got a re-do, 4sho, I would let nature take it's course and would have buried my little one in our garden beneath a rosemary shrub, maybe. (Rosemary is for remembrance). The down side to that would have been that we moved less than a year later. Still, it would have given me peace and some closure. (I hate that word, but it fits here)

I hope you are able to make a choice that gives you peace. I am glad you declined the d&c because it did not feel right to you.

Sending <3 your way.
 
my options are @mynameiskat Please? :popcorn:What did you do with your miscarriages? Honestly tho, :nailbiting: I need to know.

I know I word things poorly for that I am sorry. I was just trying to explain you very well may pass baby without even knowing it is a child. The baby may even never come out. Sometimes at that early gestation it is possible for your body to re-absorb the tissue.

I have even had friends who were set to get a d&c decided to wait and baby was actually just earlier than they thought and ended up being ok.

There is no one size fits all in the loss of a child. You just do what you can to heal.

I know you are not 12 but you also are not thinking clearly when you loose something so important to you. At 7 week fetus is less than 1/2 inch big. Even if you were able to pass it and keep it there is really no way to cremate that.

You could bury him or her in a garden and that would be a beautiful tribute. In my state they would consider it "medical waste" and not allow you to take it home if you had a d&c.

It is a cruel thing loss. My son was stillborn. He never took a breath so he never got a birth or death certificate. I couldn't even get the "free obit" my town offered because they require a certificate of death. I had to pay $500 to announce his birth and death on the same page.

I did not mean to offend. I just thought letting you know the truth was kinder than saying it will all be ok and having you plan a cremation and service.
 
@disgusted4sho

You absolutely can choose cremation at your baby's gestational age. Someone very close to me lost hers at 8 weeks, after trying for 17 years. Because that baby represented hope to them and was their first ever pregnancy, she talked to her OB and after she passed, had the remains cremated. It was fairly cheap, and I'm not sure if it was the funeral home or an outside service, but the remains were put into a pink & blue vial, on a pendant. It has a mom wrapping her arms around it. She wears it to remind herself of the hope they still have.

So, just wanted to say how so sorry I am. Don't focus on people who have trouble with words, or are seriously misinforming you based on personal experience alone, but she is in fact completely incorrect, because my friend cherishes her 8 week old! I so hope it works the same for you, if you so choose. :hug: Even if that isn't your choice, whatever you do, you will honor that baby's memory however you see fit.
[doublepost=1462149813,1462149553][/doublepost]This isn't the one she has. But on a quick search, I found this. <3

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Thank you @Forensicwx <3

This is what plays in my head tho, what you said, that leads me back to this story.

"Even if that isn't your choice, whatever you do, you will honor that baby's memory however you see fit."

What if the woman in this story felt she was, in an odd way, honoring her baby. Doing so by continuing to carry the remains on her person. It could have been worse and she could have had the baby and drugs both together in the same "purse". Lol. But she said she was just transporting it from one place to another...not as if she made a habit of carrying the baby everywhere. And maybe in her time of grief she wasn't thinking clearly on how she should properly go about it. :shrug: Idk. A lot of people do cope with tragedy with the use of drugs. The combination not being the best but I feel like I shouldn't bash this woman too much considering the circumstances. Its :vomit: disgusting as fuck but hey :woot: its not like she tried selling this baby for her drug :spy: Idk. Level of stupidy astounds me on this site so maybe its possible someone would buy a "blood clot" baby for some sick reason. Lol
But that's not the story in this case so unless I'm missing something or just forgot that something I see no reason for this woman to have made headlines for that act alone. The drugs yes possibly. But drug possession is nothing new. Who cares if she just had the drugs on her. It happens all the time, everyday, everywhere. So meh...
 
@FrayedKnot I have experienced the cold hard sterile D/C.. sadness @disgusted4sho I have experienced letting nature take it's course and still ending up at the hospital in labor with people referring to my daughter as products of conception then on to burying my 4 month old son Kaiden from Sids. We had fertility treatment after fertility treatment - I am blessed to say that I have three beautiful daughters. They face some vitamin deficiencies because of me but healthy besides that ♡♡♡ Never give up ♡♡♡ I never in all these years forgotten a date ♡♡♡ Neither will you ♡♡♡
 
:jawdrop: Now how sterile and insensitive was that?
Well you know... Miscarriages and adopted kids don't count.:shifty:
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So what would you suggest I do with my baby?

Should I flush it and treat it as if its just a blood clot because that's what it looks like??!!?? I have a ultra sound picture. I seen my baby. I could never flush it down the toilet after already loving it.

Or should I stick it in a ziplock and quietly bury it in my garden? Wouldn't want to give my baby but a tiny hole in the earth because a blot clot can't have a funeral, right! Oh, not to mention how that's probably not an option either, huh?

No. My baby deserves the same as any other baby. That I know. .... This leads me to my last logical option. Cremation. Or so I thought, but now I need to know what you believe my options are @mynameiskat Please? :popcorn:What did you do with your miscarriages? Honestly tho, :nailbiting: I need to know.

<3<3<3 Im sorry for your loss too @Angels Mom @FrayedKnot and @mynameiskat. <3<3<3

Cremation.

The babies I lost at 26 and 28 weeks were cremated and buried in our family plot. The babies I lost at 13 weeks and 16 weeks and the twin to my living son I lost at 20 weeks, I was never given an option. .The hospital took care of that. I don't want to know what that means. So please, I don't want some fucking know it all to come in here and tell me any ghastly things.
 
My baby stopped growing at seven weeks. I refused a D&C and decided to let things take course naturally. Never would I decide to keep my baby in my purse tho. I'm looking into getting my baby cremated but I believe there are different ways to handling this. I feel like the grieving period will start again once it does come out so who knows how I'd really handle things. This is my first miscarriage. Any advice?
It's very hard. Sorry for your loss. There is a distinct pain with a loss of a child that no one else has meet. I lost a baby last october at 9 weeks. I opted for the DC. I couldn't handle the thought of miscarry at work. There was no heartbeat. I've cried, shouted and kept on going. There is no easy way to deal with it. My due date was 5/26/16.
 
Hugs :hug:mad:Fives My Charm :hug: @Keepalowprofile :hug: @Angels Mom :hug: @FrayedKnot :hug: @mynameiskat
I've actually now started to spot. How much longer do you think till it comes? I'm at the point now I just want this emotional rollercoaster to be over. :(

I spotted soon after finding out that my baby had no heartbeat, but honestly I didn't miscarry until about a month later at my job and it was horrible. They say there'll be a little blood but that's not what happened to me.

I won't tell you any more of mine because I don't want to freak you out.

We're here if you need us. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
 
@Angels Mom mom you were blessed with a little blood ♡♡♡ When I let nature take it's course I had to have blood I didn't stop bleeding - I had complications. But lots of women in my support group didn't. @disgusted4sho I forgot to mention I go to a support group once a week for mothers who lost children through miscarriages, stillbirths, and Sids. We show pics- talk about our experiences- where we are grief. We talk about our support systems or lack of one. We are sisters almost- we call each other in the middle of the night. We actually bought a park and created stones you could purchase with your child's information on it ♡♡♡
 
I opted for the D/C .
Except when I lost Jason's twin.

The reason I opted for the D/C was the amount of blood. And because I'm a wimp. Give me drugs and knock me out. Let me sleep this misery off.
 
@Angels Mom mom you were blessed with a little blood ♡♡♡ When I let nature take it's course I had to have blood I didn't stop bleeding - I had complications. But lots of women in my support group didn't. @disgusted4sho I forgot to mention I go to a support group once a week for mothers who lost children through miscarriages, stillbirths, and Sids. We show pics- talk about our experiences- where we are grief. We talk about our support systems or lack of one. We are sisters almost- we call each other in the middle of the night. We actually bought a park and created stones you could purchase with your child's information on it ♡♡♡

No I wasn't. I started off with a little blood then it stopped. Then a month later I miscarried and an ambulance had to come get me from work.

All of my clotting wouldn't come out so they had to go in an manually remove them and I had to stay because I was losing so much blood they became concerned.

I just don't want to write that in my first post because I didn't want to scare her.
 
No I wasn't. I started off with a little blood then it stopped. Then a month later I miscarried and an ambulance had to come get me from work.

All of my clotting wouldn't come out so they had to go in an manually remove them and I had to stay because I was losing so much blood they became concerned.

I just don't want to write that in my first post because I didn't want to scare her.

@Angels Mom My intention wasn't to scare her. Either way is tragedy. I personally would choose the D/C - Having them treat me so coldly in the ER - put me in the hospital overnight - my husband was my rock. I am so sorry we experienced a similar situation. @disgusted4sho just remember your little one is so special they are needed elsewhere right now ♡♡♡
 
My advice is allow yourself to feel and know that the pain of the loss never really goes away.

I've had a miscarriage and my daughter was stillborn. I still have their ultrasounds and I keep them in my heart.

Joy (stillborn daughter) is very hard for me even after 6 years but that just is a terrible side effect of the love that we as mother are capable of.

I'm sorry for your pain.
<3 I'm so sorry for your losses . :(
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Hugs :hug:mad:Fives My Charm :hug: @Keepalowprofile :hug: @Angels Mom :hug: @FrayedKnot :hug: @mynameiskat

I've actually now started to spot. How much longer do you think till it comes? I'm at the point now I just want this emotional rollercoaster to be over. :(
*hugs*
 
@disgusted4sho just checking on you. Has the spotting led to anything?

Nope. Nothing. Spotting stopped again. I keep trying to do heavy work so help move the process along..... But it seems that anything I try I get opposite results.

The first time I spotted I went to the hospital and they told me that there wasn't a heartbeat and although I was ten weeks at the time my baby was only seven.

That spotting was the only spotting I had for a couple of weeks. I really believed my baby was gonna be OK. I thought maybe I was just wrong about my last period and that threw things off a little. But then I got a second opinion two weeks later ultra sound and I seen my baby was still at 7 weeks and I seen no heartbeat, confirming demise.
And still no more spotting for weeks until the other day. But that was it...no more. :(
 
It is not very common but some early miscarriages can absorb back into the body. Make sure you get seen again in a few weeks to confirm. A D&C may be a last option.
 
Well its been almost two months now. I won't be scared by what you guys say, but I really want to know what to expect. Please? I'll be more scared when the time comes if I don't know what to do, how to handle it, and how to recover from it. Tell me the scary stuff. I know it might sound like a strange request but I don't wanna go on left in the dark. :bag:
 
Well its been almost two months now. I won't be scared by what you guys say, but I really want to know what to expect. Please? I'll be more scared when the time comes if I don't know what to do, how to handle it, and how to recover from it. Tell me the scary stuff. I know it might sound like a strange request but I don't wanna go on left in the dark. :bag:

A two month miscarriage is NOT normal. Please be seen. I would say a blighted ovum but if there was a heartbeat that could not be the case. You may have been offended by my original post but I am positive everyone will agree if it has been months... It is time to go in.
 
My heart goes out to all of you mom's who have suffered a loss. I can't even imagine.

This story is a little vague. I can't help but wonder if she didn't mean anything bad by it. Obviously it is not a normal thing to put a fetus in your purse, but suppose it was just her way of dealing with the loss as well as taking drugs. She needs help regardless.
 
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~ @disgusted4sho ~ Allow me to express again my sympathy for your loss, a loss that has been compounded by the angst you are currently experiencing. My bestest bud and lifelong friend Jo, after having a very difficult time conceiving heard the dream robbing, devastating words that her baby's heart had ceased to beat at approximately 13 weeks in. She and her OBGYN discussed having the surgical DNC procedure which dilates the cervix and an instrument known as a curettage is used to scrape the fetus and any remaining soft tissue free from the uterus. The other alternative was waiting for the fetus to be expelled from the uterus naturally which for Jo sounded anything but natural. Nevertheless, brave soul that she has always been she chose to deliver naturally as she thought it far less invasive than the surgical procedure. I saw something leave my friends countenance on the day more than four weeks later when her wait was mercifully over.

Your hormones are also going to be flying all over the place and you are likely to be facing a few cluster patches of dark days ahead. (Umm, you did say you wouldn't be scared by what was said and that you really wanted to know some of the things that you could expect, right?) :nailbiting:

My prescription for you disgusted4sho would be to take care and be kind to yourself in the days ahead and let others be as generous of spirit as you so often are by allowing them to return that care and kindness to you.

I also found a link to What To Expect, a site that you might find helpful in answering some of the questions you have asked.

http://www.whattoexpect.com/forums/...-body-will-expel-this-missed-miscarriage.html
 
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http://www.ksat.com/news/grieving-woman-explains-why-she-carried-fetus-in-purse

Behind the glass of the jail's visitation center, Rivera sat grieving, wanting to tell her story of loss.

"I miscarried at a friend's house," she said.

She said it happened on April 3 and she carried the fetus in a plastic container in her purse for 25 days.

When asked why she carried it for so long, she said she didn't know what else to do.

"As a parent, you just want what's best for your child. Maybe I was trying to protect her until I could bury her. Maybe I just didn't want to let go. Maybe a part of me still doesn't want to let go," she said, tears running down her face.

Rivera was arrested Thursday, not for carrying the fetus, but for carrying drugs.

Rivera said she went to Cassiano Park on the West Side to look for a debit card she thought she lost. That's when police came over and told her she was violating the park's curfew.

Police found one gram of methamphetamine and one gram of heroin on her, but she said she doesn't do drugs anymore.

"I was carrying somebody else's stuff. It was easy money to hold onto it for somebody. I've been clean since November. I cleaned up to get pregnant," Rivera said.

After officers found the drugs, Rivera told them she had a fetus in her purse.

"The lady just looked shocked. She ran right away. I remember seeing her run to the other officers telling them what I had told her," she said.

Rivera told police she went to a hospital. But the hospital she named told KSAT 12 it has no record of her being there.

Officers confirmed Rivera was not under the influence when she was taken to jail. They said having the fetus with her was not a crime, but she couldn't keep it any longer.

"I was just doing what I thought was right. If you love your child, you would want them to have a resting place, somewhere you can take them flowers," she said.

The county took the fetus to a funeral home, where Rivera's family will plan a burial.

"I made some mistakes. I take responsibility for mistakes. But I didn't hurt my baby. I just wanted to protect her," Rivera said.

Traumatized, Rivera just wants to be understood.​
 
*sigh*

I hate to say this, but I may "get" her carrying the fetus around in Tupperware.

But, even a tiny fetus would smell with decomp, right?
 
My baby stopped growing at seven weeks. I refused a D&C and decided to let things take course naturally. Never would I decide to keep my baby in my purse tho. I'm looking into getting my baby cremated but I believe there are different ways to handling this. I feel like the grieving period will start again once it does come out so who knows how I'd really handle things. This is my first miscarriage. Any advice?
Oh dude I'm sorry that sucks. Hugs and cuddles to you
 
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