Krystal
Veteran Member
Goddamn, Florida is making this easy today.
First we have drunken, brawling parents and now we have a man (I'm using that term very loosely here) who assaulted his mother with potato salad.
Seems that on Saturday night Jonathan Smith, 34, was having a quiet meal with his mother of chicken and potato salad when he got his pissed off on and grabbed the closest weapon to teach his mother a lesson about daring to argue with his dumbass. And that handy-dandy weapon was his helping of potato salad.
According to police reports, Smith was pissed off about, who the fuck knows, and in response to his bad mood he proceeded to pelt his mother with the food from his plate. Wait, I think I know why he was mad... He's 34 and having a romantic Saturday night dinner with his mother. And I bet she doesn't put out either. Sorry, that part was wrong, I hope there is a big enough hand basket to Hell for us all because I know a few of you chuckled with that one.
Smith's mother asked him to stop, even pleaded with him to stop but all to no avail. In fact, he even escalated his behavior. After covering his mother's face and hair with potato salad, he then pushed her to the ground and spit on her as he fled her home.
Now, Smith's get-away vehicle was none other than a bicycle. Anyone surprised by that? Yeah, I didn't figure you would be.
When apprehended by the police, the arresting officer noted that Smith appeared "intoxicated". Another big shock there, said no one after reading that part.
Smith was arrest and charged with misdemeanor Battery and a Probation Violation for a 2014 Burglary conviction. He is currently being held in Manatee County Jail.
As a side note, the article mentions an assault in Florida earlier in the week where a man assaulted his girlfriend with a plate of sauerkraut. It's been a bad week in Florida for food assaults.
In that assault, 40 year old Matthew Burnett got into a fight with his 36 year old girlfriend, of 10 months , when he "smashed" a plate of sauerkraut in her face. He then went ahead and shoved the victim up against the wall and "snatched" her glasses from her face.
It is reported that the victim in the sauerkraut assault had minor injuries but refused medical treatment. Burnett was arrested for misdemeanor Domestic Battery and posted a bail of $500, with an upcoming court date on September 22nd.
Link:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/cri...en-attacking-relatives-food-article-1.2339207
First we have drunken, brawling parents and now we have a man (I'm using that term very loosely here) who assaulted his mother with potato salad.
Seems that on Saturday night Jonathan Smith, 34, was having a quiet meal with his mother of chicken and potato salad when he got his pissed off on and grabbed the closest weapon to teach his mother a lesson about daring to argue with his dumbass. And that handy-dandy weapon was his helping of potato salad.
According to police reports, Smith was pissed off about, who the fuck knows, and in response to his bad mood he proceeded to pelt his mother with the food from his plate. Wait, I think I know why he was mad... He's 34 and having a romantic Saturday night dinner with his mother. And I bet she doesn't put out either. Sorry, that part was wrong, I hope there is a big enough hand basket to Hell for us all because I know a few of you chuckled with that one.
Smith's mother asked him to stop, even pleaded with him to stop but all to no avail. In fact, he even escalated his behavior. After covering his mother's face and hair with potato salad, he then pushed her to the ground and spit on her as he fled her home.
Now, Smith's get-away vehicle was none other than a bicycle. Anyone surprised by that? Yeah, I didn't figure you would be.
When apprehended by the police, the arresting officer noted that Smith appeared "intoxicated". Another big shock there, said no one after reading that part.
Smith was arrest and charged with misdemeanor Battery and a Probation Violation for a 2014 Burglary conviction. He is currently being held in Manatee County Jail.
As a side note, the article mentions an assault in Florida earlier in the week where a man assaulted his girlfriend with a plate of sauerkraut. It's been a bad week in Florida for food assaults.
In that assault, 40 year old Matthew Burnett got into a fight with his 36 year old girlfriend, of 10 months , when he "smashed" a plate of sauerkraut in her face. He then went ahead and shoved the victim up against the wall and "snatched" her glasses from her face.
It is reported that the victim in the sauerkraut assault had minor injuries but refused medical treatment. Burnett was arrested for misdemeanor Domestic Battery and posted a bail of $500, with an upcoming court date on September 22nd.
Link:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/cri...en-attacking-relatives-food-article-1.2339207
