colliefreak
Active Member
I am so sick of the excuses given to psychopaths - yes , early life and childhood abuse and trauma causes hell and often a lifetime of problems , but it's not a always a factor , some people would be bad no matter how they were brought up .
Myself and my siblings were abused and witnessed every hell known to man, but my brother wrapped his arms around me to protect me from beatings and walked me to school barefoot in the snow so I could get a free school meal . He never raped and murdered or abused and neither did I or any of the people I know who had it just as hard - in fact , the vilest people I knew and know have all had decent average or privileged upbringings .
It makes people who have overcome battles by birth look bad when defence use those excuses in court - it's not the case that the abused go on to abuse as a sure cert - you only hear that excuse in defence trials especially the pedos who LIE that they were victims so they did it too - true survivors will tell you that's horse shit. I'm not talking about the genuinely disturbed but the ones who really didn't have you much to rebel or get mad over except their own dark souls and hearts .
I'll be more willing to believe that this boy was loved and maybe spoilt at home and just a freak loner as some are and that sweet girl paid the price .
1) I am extremely sorry for what you went through and grateful that it sounds as if you all have the resilience to overcome it as best you all could. Not all people have that resilience (compare Elizabeth Smart to someone else who goes through a similar experience and comes out with debilitating ptsd and you can see what I mean by resilience). A good friend of mine was extremely neglected by heroin addict parents and spent her whole childhood sitting in front of the tv. She has a great career doing what she loves, a solid relationship, many friends, and a full happy life. Our past does not necessarily define us, this is true.
2) The perpetrator of this crime had a rough life and his mother was apparently absent much of the time and could be abusive. This is not an excuse but it explains factors that contributed to his rage.
3) While many people who are sexually abused do not go on to abuse children (thank god), others do take on the role of identifying with the abuser. That is why it is common knowledge that there can be a cycle of abuse. Not everyone turns out the same way, but the differences mostly have to do with protective factors (ie. at the very least good genes and resilience but often there is at least one positive role model or influence in the kid's life).
4) I know it is irritating to hear what sounds like excuses in court or on here, but many people are curious/have a need to know *why* when something like this happens. Sure there can be psychopaths who are just completely wired wrong and come from loving backgrounds with no known trauma and go on to commit heinous crimes. But that doesn't mean that a lot of violent criminals don't have a ton of stuff against them from the get go.