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I have been "hooked" on DD for some time now, finally made an account when the main page went quiet for a few days (I needed my "fix").
Allow me to introduce myself....
I am Kelly, 31y/o single mother to a beautiful 10y/o daughter.
I live in NJ. I am a bartender/ mommy/ smartass/ superhero/ crusader (depending on the time of day).
I'm not sure what else I am supposed to include but I believe I have covered the basics.
I have DD to thank for keeping me up many of nights reading and researching stories as well as laughing at funny mug shots (seriously thanks guys!!).
 
Fetishes?
Easily butthurt?
Democratic or republican?
Pro choice or no?
Do you have a nice ass?
Favorite poster here, not FP.
Can I see your boobs?
 
Hi kelly,
I'm awake all night, which it kinda looks like u might be too. I've seen you lurking.
Welcome! Glad to have you.
Don't believe anything @carolinablue says if my name is included. If not, it's all true!
I gave u a cookie, but I need to be honest. It's Keebler. Elves make better cookies than me. Although sometimes I wonder what *magic* they put in them. o_O :cigar:

Have fun in the Den!
 
Fetishes?
Easily butthurt?
Democratic or republican?
Pro choice or no?
Do you have a nice ass?
Favorite poster here, not FP.
Can I see your boobs?
Fetishes? Not here
Easily butthurt? Not at all! I am a bartender, thick skin is a job requirement.
Democrat or Republican? I don't play favorites. Some I like, most I hate.
Pro choice? Yes and no. Not as a means of BC, I vote for the sterilization at that point. In cases of rape, absolutely!
Nice ass? Incredible ass!
Can you see my boobs? No
 
Fetishes? Not here
Easily butthurt? Not at all! I am a bartender, thick skin is a job requirement.
Democrat or Republican? I don't play favorites. Some I like, most I hate.
Pro choice? Yes and no. Not as a means of BC, I vote for the sterilization at that point. In cases of rape, absolutely!
Nice ass? Incredible ass!
Can you see my boobs? No

I liked all that till no boobs. :pout:
 
I gave u a cookie, but I need to be honest. It's Keebler. Elves make better cookies than me

No worries Fo, I have the BEST cookie recipe, passed down from my sainted mother, and now I'll pass it along to you:
1. Buy log of cookie dough
2. Slice
3. Bake
4. Take complete credit for cookies (afterall, you did have to use the oven-- it counts!):cool:
 
Welcome, I believe I've waited long enough to say "hello", you seem to be staying around, so far.

Before carolinablue gets here, let me just tell you that I am an absolute perfect angel:angelic: and if she says otherwise then she's had too much of her arthritis medicine:depressed:. Fo and I kept getting accused of all kinds of shenanigans with our overwhelming patriotism toward our service members' members:woot:. Oh shit, was there an extra "member" in there, Freudian slip.:sorry:

Anywho, welcome to the Den, make yourself at home. The kitchen is on your right but it's self-serve, I wait on NO ONE... EVER:shifty:.

But be careful what you choose, drinks tend to get spewed on keyboard and snacks have been known to, ummm, reappear. May I suggest steering clear of salsa? Just trust me there.

Welcome to the asylum and enjoy your stay.:D
 
Hi Kelly... we are short of cookies so mine's due until you stay here a little bit longer... Somehow all the guys here have the tendency to scare all the new ones...
words of wisdom: don't let your drinks unattended... Stay away from that sofa... wash your hands constantly... don't lean on the walls (some lunatics around here love to throw their feces all over the place and no one cares to clean...). Oh... I forgot: Nell is always right.
 
Welcome! I am new as well. I seem to be the only normal person around here, well balanced and a trusted voice of reason...at least that's what the voices keep telling me.
This site so far has been a lot of fun. People have been really nice. I am kinda butt hurt because no one has asked to see my boobs yet :(
LOVE the cookie recipe
 
Welcome kelly!:) Don't believe a single word anyone says about me:meh:. They have been bought by the Russian Mafiya :nailbiting:(I'm reading a book about them, and that's the way they spell it) I am a sweet l'il grammaw<3 from the deep Sou'f. Any further and I'd be in the Gulf of Mexico:drowning:. I am a perfect lady :smug:and nevah, evah say "fuck", "muthafuck", "ass clown", "piece a shit", "go suck a big bag of dicks" or "shut that asshole that you call a mouth. I want any shit outta you, I'll squeeze your head":jawdrop:. I would never say those things.:angelic:

I am the undisputed Queen of D'D:cool:. I appointed myself because someone has to keep these rowdy hoes, man whores and minions in line:meh:. Dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. You will start off as one of my hoes:joyful:! Perseve and suck up to me:kiss: and you'll become a MINION!:D You must also send me $40:happy:. The price of my herbal arthritis medicine has gone up,:greedy: so have the taxes in my queendom.:smuggrin:

I must warn you about certain members:eek:; we are inclusive, and therefore have many members with significant mental issues :wacky:due to long-term LSD usage. Forewarned is forearmed!

Morbid. He is the source of all evil:devil:. He disappeared our blogs on a drunken whim, and thus deprived the world of our wit:arghh:. He lives in a burnt-out hovel, forages in dumpsters and he was once mistaken for a bag of trash:joyful: and thrown into a garbage truck.He owns a weapon of mass destruction...his greasy, reeking SOFA:dead:! You WILL get lice, fleas and a ghastly STD:shifty: just by walking past it:wtf:. The CDC has declared it a biohazard:dead:. The entire staff of the Communicable Diseases Unit walked out when it was brought in for testing:eek:x30. Now they're suing for emotional distress:shifty: and attempted murder:nailbiting:. He also walks the streets singing that goddam song from Barney.:banghead:

Jaded she is Morbid's consort/partner in asshattery:clown::clown:. Almost as bad as he is, but she does bathe once in a while:rolleyes:. Unfortunately, she performs her ablutions in the City Park duck pond:crack:. All the ducks waddled away quacking loudly:woot:. She has also been known to follow strangers down the street threatening to get nekid :jawdrop:unless they give her money:greedy:. She once jumped on a cop's back:jawdrop:, smacked his butt;) and hollered "HiYo Silver..AWAAAAY!" :wacky:He is still in Sunny Acres Rest Home.:(

Lithiumgirl Guess how she got her name!;) We keep her chained to the James Crise thread :rolleyes:where she can do no damage:meh:, because the posters in that thread are all coocoo for Cocoa Puffs:jawdrop:. She talks to them all day:whistle:. She sorta wanders thru the forums:bag:, dropping incoherent posts warning us of the coming Apocalypse.:nailbiting: She's looking forward to it:angelic: and even bought a new dress:kiss:. She is my latest hoe<3.

Krystal and Forensic They are practically joined at the hip;) (it was a difficult birth:joyful:), so I mention them jointly:crack:...get it? Joined at the hip...the hip is a joint...I made a joke, so LAUGH:mad:. They beat up Navy Seals for fun:jawdrop:; don't mess with them:wideyed:! They are devoted to our boys in service<3, and have dedicated their lives to serving the Marine Corp. ;)(heheheheh, I said "serving".:nana::nana::nana::nana:) Plus, they are the enforcers in my realm:smug:, because SOME of my peasants are slacking on the taxes:mad:.

Nell She got hauled in for hiding in the bushes :pand growling at passers-by:eek:. At least she didn't bite anyone;:rolleyes: but she DID try to pee on the cop arresting her:shame:. She's shitcanned for a few days:sour: until she promises:angelic: to go back to the "squirt the postman with a water gun full of red dye". :wideyed:

Pete He is in love with JLaw<3. He also craps on all my posts:banghead:, and is in disgrace:shame:. I would have him lashed,:shifty: but he grows on you. Like fungus:D. Anyway, PLEEEZE, never mention or refer to JLaw's transgender status:nailbiting:. Petah will go all defcon 5:punch:, and try to usurp my throne:jawdrop:. Also, do not post pics of a nekid Hitler frolicking with the SS:woot:; he doesn't like that:(. He is also annoyingly intelligent:meh: and will reduce you to tears:arghh:. Ask him for a hyena picture;).

I am simply exhausted and must smok...I mean TAKE my arthritis medicine:D;). Wanna cat:cat:? I have :cat:x12, all rescues. I'll pay you $20 to take one:bag:. Cat fud and vet bills are killing us.:greedy:

You are now a HOE:)! Start posting:cool:. And don't forget to give me lots of "awesomes".:smug:

Now! Fa God's don't disappear! I am getting paranoid about welcoming people only to frighten them, and then they run away. Hurts my fuckin' feelings!


 
No worries Fo, I have the BEST cookie recipe, passed down from my sainted mother, and now I'll pass it along to you:
1. Buy log of cookie dough
2. Slice
3. Bake
4. Take complete credit for cookies (afterall, you did have to use the oven-- it counts!):cool:
they always taste funky :(
 
I used to live in South Jersey, and my family is still there, so I've given you an extra special cookie - it's actually two cookies sandwiching a thick layer of frosting, like they make at the Deluxe Italian Bakery in Runnemede.

Along with Nell, I would like to see your ass, though. Just sayin'.
 
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