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Forensicwx

Final Roll Call 4153. STLCO 10-42 10/13 @ 1519
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Him & his ex-fiancé.

His cats do all sorts of tricks — including coming to his defense at trial.

An accused perv prep school teacher claimed Thursday that the used bottle of lubricant found in his Chelsea apartment as his ex-fiancée caught him with his 16-year-old student could have been the handiwork of his frisky pets.

Richard Hovan made the bizarre claim in Manhattan Supreme Court during cross-examination as Assistant District Attorney Shanda Strain confronted him with mountains of evidence — including records of thousands of texts with the girl, flirty emails and proof they had spent the night together.

“The lube is almost empty, right?” Strain said.

“Yes,” Hovan said.

“The cats played with it? . . . So do they have opposable thumbs?” the ADA asked with sarcasm.

Hovan then boldly claimed that his pair of felines are very capable — and are “perhaps” the reason for the open container, even though there would have been a seal on the bottle.

“My cats open the fridge, they open the cabinet, all of those things. I don’t know,” the 33-year-old MIT grad and former math teacher at Riverdale Country School said.

Strain said Hovan has been lying about “helping” the troubled girl through tough times when he had her at his apartment and spent the night with her in a Brooklyn Holiday Inn, which he paid for in cash.

Hovan testified that he did crossword puzzles while she slept during the one-on-one sleepovers and that no sexual encounters took place.

He is charged with criminal sex act, statutory rape and endangering the welfare of a child. He faces up to four years in prison on the top count. The jury is expected to begin deliberations Friday.

In closing arguments Thursday, Strain ripped the wild cat claim, saying it is one of many coverup stories to hide what he did to the vulnerable girl.

“He should really put those cats on YouTube. There’s that one cat that plays that song. These cats — they open drawers, cabinets, boxes and safety seals!” Strain said.

“If nothing was happening, if nothing was going on, if they were just sitting on the couch doing the New York Times crossword, why is she climbing down a fire escape to get away?” Strain said.

http://m.nydailynews.com/new-york/n...lames-open-lube-bottle-cats-article-1.2131210

Shocker: UPDATE:
It took jurors just under four hours to convict Hovan on all nine counts against him for bedding his then-16-year-old student. He is appealing.
 
Well for his sake I hope he was using the lube to cornhole the young bimbo, because If he needs lube for 16 year-old vajayjay then his techniques are seriously lacking :shrug:
 
Sometimes you should just plead guilty...you know how embarrassed your cats are now?
I hate cats (sorry D.D friends with cats ) but I do. This is me sitting here feeling sorry for your cats and the fact that hey even had to know you at all.
 
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