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Chigger Smith

New Member
So I googled a news story about a week ago for more info on it and came across this place and I've been lurking and laughing and shaking my head in disgust ever since.. Anyway, I'm 25 and from Oklahoma..
 
To vague. Need an avatar. Ill check back later. For now, have this cookie. Don't make me take it back.
 
If @Nell takes your cookie, I'm on standby to point and laugh. You can keep the cookie I gave you, although I wouldn't eat it if I were you. I found it in the couch. I would've baked you some, but then they would have been delicious, and then I'd have to eat them all. Couch cookies are all you get until I know you better.
 
Hi there Chigger! I got bit up by chiggers last summer...I'm pretty sure you're not a blood sucking insect; you have a cool nym! Anybunny, welcome to the ninth circle. All sortsa degenerates and nutballs here. Come to think of it, that's about ALL we have!

I am the undisputed Queen of D'D. I appointed myself because this cesspool of squalor and sin needed a firm hand.
You will be one of my many man whores until you achieve minion status. All you have to do is follow me around and give me awesomes on my posts, send me $20 for "arthritis medicine" and adopt one of my elebenty squillion cats. Or else.

Now for the necessary, but distasteful job at hand! I must warn you about certain members!

Morbid Beware! He has a reserved cell in his local lock up because he gets arrested every other day. He attracts flies because he regards soap and water as carcinogens; you can smell him before you see him. He spends the fortune he makes on this site buying MD 20/20. He also has a sofa that has been labelled a bio hazard. The CDC came to haul it off to Atlanta, but Mobid bit one of them... poor guy got rabies.

Jaded, his partner in drunken asshattery, caught 17 STDs just by sitting on that rancid sofa. She helps Morbid continue to exploit us. Watch out for her too! She is always drunk or loaded or both. She mugs old ladies and has been known to follow people threatening to get nekid unless they give her money. Unfortunately, she made the mistake of accosting an undercover cop. Now she's shitcanned. The other guests of the state threatened to sue everybody for "cruel and unusual punishment" as well as for exposing them to unknown diseases.

Countess Olenska and Pete (resident troll) are both deep cover operatives for Homeland Security. Be sure to end each of your posts with "God Bless America" or they'll turn you in. And be sure to praise Jennifer Lawrence or Pete will send you hyena pictures. Countess will revile you all day.

Forensic won't admit it, but she is an ex stripper who found Jesus and now devotes all her time to saving other soiled doves! She saves them by beating them with a Bible while screaming, "Praise the Lord"! Then she steals all their money and spends it on man whores!

rod2pop is also a man whore; he sleeps in a dog bed, and I bought him a new collar and leash. He is grateful and will soon become a minion!

Satanica lives up to her name! Be very very careful around her...we've noticed a lot of members have gone missing. Ask her and she'll just grin and giggle. Scary. Be afraid, be very afraid.

This is just a short list because I'm exhausted from sitting on my pasty white ass and doing nothing all day. I am also rude, crude and socially unacceptable. I'm rowdy and cuss something awful. I start swearing and Marines run away crying. Oh, I'm also vulgar and inappropriate. I also make incoherent posts when toasted on "arthritis medicine"; as a matter of fact, you can mail me some and I'll appoint you my consort!

I have urgent matters of state to attend to right now or I'd enlighten you further on the weirdos. I'm thinking of starting some asshattery and must plot!
 
The boy tied up with a dead chicken. Idk why but it caught my attention. I think mainly because it was a DHS worker that did it. Anyway, I don't like talking about myself but what do you wanna know..
Favorite movies, books, are you into horror and gore? Do you plan on contributing more?
 
I'm separated/getting divorced. I have two kids, none with my soon to be ex wife though so I guess that worked out for the best. I'm a mechanic by trade and work way more than most people to pay for said kids. I recently passed tests to attend OSU to better myself for said kids, waiting for a decision. I'm Cherokee. I don't get butthurt. I lost my feelings somewhere in my ex wife's panty drawer. Some other guy has them now lol
 
I'm separated/getting divorced. I have two kids, none with my soon to be ex wife though so I guess that worked out for the best. I'm a mechanic by trade and work way more than most people to pay for said kids. I recently passed tests to attend OSU to better myself for said kids, waiting for a decision. I'm Cherokee. I don't get butthurt. I lost my feelings somewhere in my ex wife's panty drawer. Some other guy has them now lol

Movies? Books? Horror and Gore? Okay here's the deal...don't eat any cookies that were even near that couch. Here's a fresh one. Eat it with milk...good for the bones.
 
I don't really have a fav movie.. Why would you watch any movie more than once lol. Reading is Ok I just have more important things to do. And I don't find horror and gore interesting..
 
I don't really have a fav movie.. Why would you watch any movie more than once lol. Reading is Ok I just have more important things to do. And I don't find horror and gore interesting..

All of this makes me sad.....

OSU? You live in Oregon?
 
I don't really have a fav movie.. Why would you watch any movie more than once lol. Reading is Ok I just have more important things to do. And I don't find horror and gore interesting..

You can still keep my cookie but make sure you drink the milk. You'll need the strength to survive this den of sin and horror.
 
@Nell, I'm thinking he means Oklahoma State University. But he SHOULD live in Oregon. As does anyone with a luck of sense. ;)
I thought he meant Ohio State University :shrug:

ETA: Hazard of living in Michigan, nobody take this personal please, really OSU not high on the I Love You List. I let him keep my cookie though :smuggrin:
 
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I don't really have a fav movie.. Why would you watch any movie more than once lol.

I've asked myself this question over the years. I don't watch much tv and have only seen a handful of movies throughout my life but when The Naked Gun came out on vhs I watched it nearly every day for about two years! Every time I watched it, I laughed like it was my first time seeing it!

But this isn't about me, it's about you. Welcome!
 
Galiheli tsidenalv, Chigger. Enjoy the Asylum. The patients here are all antsy from Cabin Fever after being penned up all winter. As long as you remember not to show them your cookies, all your fingers should remain intact. Original Okie here from Osage/Cherokee Rez rat stock on the paternal idiot's side. Ostu iga. :)
 
HEY! mr cb's grandma was Choctaw! She hated me for stealing away her favorite grandson. She thought I was a trollop! Granny looked like a little raisin, and her glare would've made a honey badger back off. I liked her! She'd glare, I'd grin!
 
Ahhhh yes, fresh meat!

Ello Love! Here is my cookie.... But as I do all new people... I must warn you to not eat all of it in one sitting.... For it will fuck you up and knock you on your ass.

Also.... Once you join, you are here forever.... Lifetime commitment and all... You can't leave...Even if you leave you won't be leaving...So yea... SOL right there bub.

I am sure you will be kept amused by the stories and the people here. I was a lurker for a year or 2 before I came to my senses and joined and let my existence be known. I do not regret it. I love the people here. I even enjoy @Pete Bondurant and even @JackBurton sometimes.... They are an acquired taste....

Enjoy and have fun... and don't forget.... Be careful with my cookie. It is special... Oatmeal Chocolate chip and that ever so lovely secret ingredient.

I look forward to seeing your presence around here!
 
I'm separated/getting divorced
Hey, I've done that a couple of times. Absolute best decisions of my life!:D

Welcome to our happy little home. You had better make yourself at home because I don't wait on anyone, EVER. :shifty:

The kitchen is to your right, grab a drink and a snack.:popcorn: Be careful what you choose because drinks have been known to be spit onto keyboards and snacks have been known to make reappearances.:meh:
 
I was a lurker too. Hi :)

... I jumped out of the forum closet and probably already soiled my name :D but I always come back because 1) I have no shame 2) this place is the shit!
 
One more thing...don't accept cookies or milk from anyone from Minnesota.

They have a few legal loopholes that will leave a bad taste in your mouth; unless you're into that type of thing.

Consider yourself warned!
 
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