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TheMorningStar

is a catcus
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Michael Gordon Dick, 53, was arrested after authorities received reports of a naked man walking around and masturbating in the Tickle Creek and Kelso Road areas on Tuesday and Wednesday, according to Sgt. Nathan Thompson with the Clackamas County Sheriff's Office.

Dick, who is a registered sex offender, matched the description of a suspect accused of at least 12 exposure incidents dating back to November, 2014.

In the previous flashing incidents, victims told police a man drove by women who were walking on the street or working in their yards, got out of his pickup truck naked and began masturbating.

Investigators said the suspect may have been wearing a wig.
http://www.kgw.com/story/news/crime...nty-serial-flasher-suspect-arrested/70494376/
 
OMG, I recognize that drawing! What, was he wearing a wig before?? And his name is really Michael Dick and he was really caught in the Tickle Creek area??? WTF, did I just die and go to some alternate joke reality?? :hilarious::hilarious::hilarious::hilarious::hilarious:

P.S. The first post on this guy was mine, so I think this is technically a dupe:
http://www.dreamindemon.com/communi...ator-in-black-chevy-sought-by-deputies.76281/
 
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Now I want to see a picture of the red wig he was wearing. Or better yet, I picture of him IN the red wig. :crack:
 
Truck ID Helps Nab Chronic Masturbator Named Dick In Tickle Creek

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What seems to have been less perfect was that alarmingly creepy police sketch. The real habitual public knob-polisher turns out to be the far more bald Michael Gordon Dick, a sprightly 53-year old go-getter who loves Chevy trucks, stargazing with a special someone, and approaching lone women outside while vigorously manipulating his clammy genitals.

The lack of hair is likely explained by the fact that many suggested that the open-air jerkinator wore a red wig, which I suspect made him seem like a terrifying, alternate-dystopian world version of that smug Wendy's spokesperson. Only instead of trying to convince you that you really should have bought some Wendy's chickenwich for lunch, she's locked eyes with you while violently yanking on her engorged penis.

Dick and 'Li'l Dick' were arrested thanks to investigators identification of his black 2001-2004 Chevy S-10 truck, proving once and for all that the only way to really know someone is by seeing what they drive. The recent incidents were in the Boring Eagle Creek and Tickle Creek areas, both of which are hilarious names.

More seriously, if, by chance, you or someone you know has been harassed by this literal wanker, call the Clarkmas County confidential tip-line at 503-723-4949.

Okay, let's get back to listing all the fun words in this story: masturbator, Clackamas County, Boring Eagle, Dick, Tickle Creek, wig. Ok, there we go. One less woman-terrifying perv on the streets. Yay!
 
WOW!
This is too much funny!
Bald man in a RED wig.... Bald man in a red wig named Michael DICK, playing with his dick. In Tickle Creek
 
True. He could've just been fiddling with his schlong with his tremoring, twitchy, predominate, monkey-spankin' hand trying to scratch an itch on his shaft. Vigorously...lol.
 
True. He could've just been fiddling with his schlong with his tremoring, twitchy, predominate, monkey-spankin' hand trying to scratch an itch on his shaft. Vigorously...lol.

Yeah, that was the excuse I used when I was about 12 and my dad caught me whacking off..."scratching it." HA HA I wonder if he had a laugh over that. I was embarrassed as fuck and didn't ever want to leave my room again.
 
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