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ChaosKitty

Queen Bitch From Hell
dyson-393x400.jpg


Well, apparently there is a reason from past experiences for them to issue a warning and I can use imagine the looks on the emergency responders or the emergency attendants when faced with someone who has tried this:
"
The National Institute of Health (NIH) has an important message for you: do not stick your penis into a vacuum cleaner for a cheap thrill.

According to an NIH study, out of 48 masturbation injuries studied (and you think your job sucks), 36 were “vacuum cleaner injuries” to the penis. We won’t discuss it here in case you are having lunch, but the other 12 involved foreign bodies introduced into the urethra."
http://latest.com/2015/01/not-put-wiener-vacuum-cleaner/
I can see dstranger trying this
 
I wonder if Latest deliberately assigned that writer or if it was just happenstance that Peter van Buren got to write it.

--Al
 
...but the other 12 involved foreign bodies introduced into the urethra."
LOL. Time for me to retell my "Lightning Rods" story for you newbies.

I worked at a video store in Chicago that was in the second largest "gay" neighborhood and catered primarily to the local gay community. It was a regular video store, but specialized in foreign/art/indie films with a focus on LGBT-interest films, that also had a porn section in the back, split between about 90% gay porn and 10% straight porn.

There was so much gay porn back there, none of it underperforming, that the manager took all the fetish titles off the shelves, collapsed the boxes, stuck 'em in plastic sleeves, and just threw them all in a giant bin, so he could make room for even more gay porn. We kept the tapes behind the counter, and used little tags with inventory numbers on them for customers to pull and bring up to rent. So returning movies meant we had to run out onto the floor and put the rental tags back in the pouches on the display cases - relatively easy for the rest of the store, but of course the fetish bin never stay alphabetized for longer than a couple hours at best, which made returning the tags a time-consuming and revolting task, as you'd have to look through pretty much all the fetish boxes to find the one film you were trying to put the tag back for. The result: most of the employees just left all the returned tags for those films sitting in a pile on the counter until there were so many that someone finally caved and put them all away (usually the manager, lol.)

It became an initiation rite amongst the staff to tell new hires on their first day that someone had called the store and asked us to put a title called "Lightning Rods" on reserve for them. This would require us to go out and pull the tag so someone else didn't try to rent it (and get disappointed when we can't find the tape - as it's been moved to the reservations shelf.) The senior staff would explain to the new employee that they needed to go looking through the fetish bin to find the tag for this title - the point being, the new employee would have to look at pretty much all of the most graphic and disgusting gay porn we have to offer, wasting 15-20 minutes sorting through it all to find the title/tag, only to come up with the tag and have the other staff laugh at them and explain it was all a joke.

I didn't find it particularly amusing on my first day - but I certainly enjoyed putting others through it.

Lightning Rods? Features a couple of extremely well-muscled, oiled-up dudes ramming thick metal rods into their cocks, right on the cover, complete with expressions of agony/ecstasy on their faces. Most fucked up thing I ever had to look at in that store. Still cannot imagine how anyone could possibly enjoy doing that. On the upside, I guess catheters are no big deal to them when they're older and get prostate cancer operated on.

...Anyways, don't be vacuuming your dicks, guys.
 
*It sounded like a good idea at the time.*
Hold my beer...

Okay, my urethra story. Nursing home call for the patient with a straw stuck in the penis. A very pleasant and very demented (medically not psychologically) had shoved a straw into his penis. We have no idea why but he sure was happy about it and I NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER want to see a penis that old that up close again. Thank-you-very-much.
 
Phew, that was lucky!

Was just about to put my dick in a vacuum cleaner when I saw this timely warning. Thanks for that. :D You saved my bacon....or rather, my sausage. :hilarious:

I NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER want to see a penis that old that up close again. Thank-you-very-much.
Bad news on that front! One day, your hubby is going to be that old! Lol. His penis aint getting any younger. :hilarious: :hilarious: :hilarious:
 
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I....Just...SERIOUSLY? Wouldn't that shit hurt??? That something going up the mans pee hole! :nailbiting:

Yeah it truly is hard to fathom what some people get out of some things.

But with 8 or more billion of us on this large rock in space called Earth, it's a sure bet that whatever you can imagine in any remotely sexual way, there'll be some twat out there somewhere who is into it.
 
Phew, that was lucky!

Was just about to put my dick in a vacuum cleaner when I saw this timely warning. Thanks for that. :D You saved my bacon....or rather, my sausage. :hilarious:


Bad news on that front! One day, you hubby is going to be that old! Lol. He penis aint getting any younger. :hilarious: :hilarious: :hilarious:
Yeah but by then I hopefully won't have to SEE it and instead just FEEL it.

Or maybe I'll just trade him in for a younger model at that point...
 
One of the free to the public med. museums in one of our local hospitals has a big Urology display. You wouldn't believe all the neat stuff they've pulled out of urethras and bladders. Though I'm a diehard Marvel fan, my favorite bladder treasure is still a Batman action figure (sorry, Stan). :)
 
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Yeah it truly is hard to fathom what some people get out of some things.

But with 8 or more billion of us on this large rock in space called Earth, it's a sure bet that whatever you can imagine in any remotely sexual way, there'll be some twat out there somewhere who is into it.


Well I watched this weird documentary one time about a guy that got off on popping balloons lol
 
One of the free to the public med. museums in one of our local hospitals has a big Urology display. You wouldn't believe all the neat stuff they've pulled out of urethras and bladders. Though I'm a diehard Marvel fan, my favorite bladder treasure is still a Batman action figure (sorry, Stan). :)
Diehard Marvel fan? 0_o I call b.s. Batman is a member of the Justice League. Meaning he's a DC character....along with Superman......Spiderman is Marvel, and completely out of the Justice League. :D
 
:( Batman is DC though....Spiderman, Thor, Captain America, Hulk, Black Widow, Punisher, Iron Man...those guys are Marvel.....

Sorry I and dork....I am proud of it!
 
Have you seen the urethra toys for sale online? I'm on my phone and too lazy to link to any pics, but some of them look scary. I cross my legs and cringe at the thought fs. There are cum stoppers, and sprinklers you can cum or pee through. My favourite thing on those types of sites is the inspection table ;) lol.
 
Have you seen the urethra toys for sale online? I'm on my phone and too lazy to link to any pics, but some of them look scary. I cross my legs and cringe at the thought fs. There are cum stoppers, and sprinklers you can cum or pee through. My favourite thing on those types of sites is the inspection table ;) lol.

I've seen the sprinklers, but haven't checked out the specialty urethral toy stores online. Time for a trip through GoogleLand. Thx for the tip! (heh), Lol.
 
LOL. Time for me to retell my "Lightning Rods" story for you newbies.

I worked at a video store in Chicago that was in the second largest "gay" neighborhood and catered primarily to the local gay community. It was a regular video store, but specialized in foreign/art/indie films with a focus on LGBT-interest films, that also had a porn section in the back, split between about 90% gay porn and 10% straight porn.

There was so much gay porn back there, none of it underperforming, that the manager took all the fetish titles off the shelves, collapsed the boxes, stuck 'em in plastic sleeves, and just threw them all in a giant bin, so he could make room for even more gay porn. We kept the tapes behind the counter, and used little tags with inventory numbers on them for customers to pull and bring up to rent. So returning movies meant we had to run out onto the floor and put the rental tags back in the pouches on the display cases - relatively easy for the rest of the store, but of course the fetish bin never stay alphabetized for longer than a couple hours at best, which made returning the tags a time-consuming and revolting task, as you'd have to look through pretty much all the fetish boxes to find the one film you were trying to put the tag back for. The result: most of the employees just left all the returned tags for those films sitting in a pile on the counter until there were so many that someone finally caved and put them all away (usually the manager, lol.)

It became an initiation rite amongst the staff to tell new hires on their first day that someone had called the store and asked us to put a title called "Lightning Rods" on reserve for them. This would require us to go out and pull the tag so someone else didn't try to rent it (and get disappointed when we can't find the tape - as it's been moved to the reservations shelf.) The senior staff would explain to the new employee that they needed to go looking through the fetish bin to find the tag for this title - the point being, the new employee would have to look at pretty much all of the most graphic and disgusting gay porn we have to offer, wasting 15-20 minutes sorting through it all to find the title/tag, only to come up with the tag and have the other staff laugh at them and explain it was all a joke.

I didn't find it particularly amusing on my first day - but I certainly enjoyed putting others through it.

Lightning Rods? Features a couple of extremely well-muscled, oiled-up dudes ramming thick metal rods into their cocks, right on the cover, complete with expressions of agony/ecstasy on their faces. Most fucked up thing I ever had to look at in that store. Still cannot imagine how anyone could possibly enjoy doing that. On the upside, I guess catheters are no big deal to them when they're older and get prostate cancer operated on.

...Anyways, don't be vacuuming your dicks, guys.
I think it's called Sounding.One dude (well I didn't see it) used and old mercury glass thermometer.Lucky it didn't break.lol
 
It became an initiation rite amongst the staff to tell new hires on their first day that someone had called the store and asked us to put a title called "Lightning Rods" on reserve for them. This would require us to go out and pull the tag so someone else didn't try to rent it (and get disappointed when we can't find the tape - as it's been moved to the reservations shelf.) The senior staff would explain to the new employee that they needed to go looking through the fetish bin to find the tag for this title - the point being, the new employee would have to look at pretty much all of the most graphic and disgusting gay porn we have to offer, wasting 15-20 minutes sorting through it all to find the title/tag, only to come up with the tag and have the other staff laugh at them and explain it was all a joke.

Sounds like sexual harrassment to me. Disgusting.
 

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