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dstranger99

Unregistered Sex Offender
I saw this story on CNN....

http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/24/justice/ayahuasca-death-kyle-nolan-mother/index.html?hpt=ju_c2

So, I then did a little searching, and found this guys experience.......


I spent Saturday night rolling on the floor of a loft apartment in the Prenzlauer Berg neighborhood of Berlin. When I wasn't rolling, I was in the bathroom shoving my fingers down my throat, or sitting on the john trying to take a dump. I cried like a mother at a wedding. I kicked my feet in the air like dogs do when they're sleeping, and on one occasion—in tandem with the feet—I let my hands dance in front of my face like the last raver in the field on the last night of summer.

For what felt like three days, I went from bathroom to floor and back again. When I finally got it together enough to wobble onto the balcony and smoke a cigarette, I realized I'd only been under for four hours. Ayahuasca, yagé, the truth vine, the madre, or whatever you call it was not only the strongest drug I've ever tried but easily the most powerful experience I've ever had.

It's also illegal in Germany, so in order to do it, you have to know someone who knows someone who knows whichever shaman is in town giving out the goofy juice that week. And it's not cheap—it costs upwards of $230 per session. Once you're on the shaman's list, you receive an email explaining how you should prepare for the ceremony. No sex, no meat, no dairy, no salt, and no other drugs for a week beforehand. The address is kept secret until the final day.

You're told to pack a mat, a blanket, a bottle of water, some fruit, and a bucket with a lid so you can puke into it and then throw it away. I didn't have a bucket, so I brought a beaker with a seal and then spent the whole way there, and much of the ceremony, worrying that it wouldn't be big enough to hold all my chunks when I eventually blew them.

Ayahuasca has become quite popular in yoga circles and, even though it embarrasses me a little to put these three words together, the "Berlin meditation scene." For late thirtysomething affluent vegans who don't go to clubs anymore and who spend Christmas in India so they don't have to visit their parents, it's about as hip as partner swapping.

There were about 25 people in the apartment when I arrived, and my friends weren't even there yet, so I mingled with a bunch of people stretching in Thai pants or lying on the floor petting one another. The room was hot with bodies. I sat in a corner. Beside me was an American kid whose psychiatrist had actually prescribed the ceremony.

"I was pretty heavily addicted to pot," he said.

"What kind of psychiatrist prescribes this?" I asked.

"An expensive one," he said.

'It works?"

"Yes," he said.

There was a German guy at my feet tucked under a duvet on a blow-up bed.

"It's your first time," he said knowingly.

"Yes. What should I expect?"

"The universe," he said. "I hope you get to see the universe."

And then everyone lay down while the shaman, a guy with a beard and a ponytail and skin the color of stained mahogany, began to explain what was about to happen to us. I can't recall much of what he said, because what happened next was insane. Ayahuasca is comparable to other drugs but only in a way that walking briskly with your arms outstretched is comparable to flying.

Vice-Illustration-2.jpg


It's very hard to put the experience into words, but here goes:

The beginning—let's call this the good part—started off with the shadows on the walls losing shape and tiny golden trails zipping in front of my eyes. So far, pretty normal for anyone who's taken acid, mushrooms, or trippy pills. On either side of me, people were dry-heaving into their buckets. They made a noise like cows being impaled on traffic signs. But I wasn't nauseous. Fuck no! At that time, I was dropping into a panoramic collage of fractals and bright colors and jungle foliage and extreme well-being. With no exaggeration, I can say that moment was probably the most blissed-out of my whole life. And I don't give that away lightly. I was a child of rave, and I spent a good chunk of the last decade hugging strangers and licking my eyebrows and worrying about how much water I had or hadn't drunk.

It was like the universe was wrapping me in giant mutating arms and filling me full of love. I saw God, and I was God, and everything was God.

For most of this part, the good part, I just lay on my back with my eyes closed in a little euphoric bubble. And if only that could have lasted—because, pretty soon, the bad part kicked in. In one incident after the next, I revisited traumatic chapters of my childhood. It played out like some celebrity retrospective—only instead of showing the best clips from my long career, I was forced to witness the moments that had bruised me most. I was in the womb feeling my family's stress, in school running from bullies, and in my teenage bedroom listening to Smashing Pumpkins while writing poetry with rhymes like "blunt knives" and "short lives."

In the middle of this trip down misery lane, I broke out in feverish sweat and felt the need to puke. But like I said, I was worried my container wouldn't handle my load, so I got up and wobbled to the bathroom. My stomach was a mess, but I couldn't puke, so I tried to shit. Somehow I'd got it into my head that the only way to end this hell-ride was to push the ayahuasca out of my body through whichever hole was most compliant. Some drugs allow you to look at yourself from a distance. If that had been the case, I imagine I'd be looking at myself doing some kind of twerk-cum-lapdance for the toilet bowl's pleasure, with my track pants around my ankles.

Defeated, I went back out to the room, lay down on my mat, and suffered. Really suffered. When I wasn't terrified, I was crying big tears of sadness. The golden trails would come and go, and I do remember seeing my penis presented in front of me as a giant tower reaching into the clouds—which was kind of cool—but for the most part, I was in seven circles of plant-based hell.

Some time later, I saw my friends creeping out of the room onto the balcony, and I worked up the courage to follow them. Imagine a plane crash, where the front of the plane explodes in two and the rear somehow lands on flat ground and everyone from Row F backwards survives. Picture the survivor's faces. That's how we looked.

We hung out on the balcony for a while smoking, occasionally puking into buckets, and trying to make sense of things until someone offered to drive us all home, which was a great and horrible idea because I never would have gotten home on my own, but the driver couldn't distinguish between red and green yet.

They say that one night of ayahuasca is like ten years seeing a psychiatrist. It is not a recreational drug. Afterwards, on the way home, we talked about going to a club, but in the end, all we really wanted was to be wrapped up in cotton wool and left in a corner with fresh water.

I fell asleep and the next day woke up early, feeling amazing. And for now, that's how things have stayed. Ordinarily I'm pretty anxious. I'm not a good sleeper, I'm shy, and I'm pretty horrible at making decisions. But so far, all that's disappeared. Whatever happened that night shook my little blockages free—or, as a psychiatrist would put it, broke my coping habits.

In the Amazon, if you go on an ayahuasca retreat, you normally spend three long nights in a row sifting through all your shit. In the first few hours after coming down, I thought I'd never smoke a joint again—let alone consider ayahuasca again. However, now I'm pretty sure I would. Watching all the traumatic experiences that have touched your life sweep past like a dream helps to place them in perspective: They're over. In a way, it takes you back to your original essence in nature, and that's no bad thing if, like me, your regular connection with nature is watching your tomato plants slowly die on the windowsill each summer.

Oh, and seeing your dick as tall as a building, rendered from solid, impenetrable stone is something all insecure young boys, who grow into secretly insecure men, need to see at least twice.


http://www.vice.com/read/ayahuasca-will-make-you-cry-vomit-and-feel-amazing-918
 
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There was also an article about women who were sexually assaulted by the "shaman" on an ayahuasca trip to Peru. And let's not forget that asshole who didn't build the sweat lodge properly and people died. Beware of false spiritual leaders who prey those seeking enlightenment.

While I think it might be interesting, it just isn't necessary. The main role of the shaman/priest/etc. is to create the mindset for the experience and the drug assists in this. It is possible to change one's state of mind without either of these in order to objectively examine oneself from "outside". Rituals are useful in creating states of mind, and you can make up your own. Of course, none of this matters if one isn't prepared to take action afterward. Nothing happens magically but requires awareness and effort. The changes that are possible with awareness and effort can seem magical though.
 
I think anything that is supposed to solve a life long problem with a pill is not a good thing.
 
I have a spiritual guide already... Someone I trust, and I know they wouldn't cause me harm. I suspect if I wanted to try this, they would help me with it.

~shadow
 
There was also an article about women who were sexually assaulted by the "shaman" on an ayahuasca trip to Peru. And let's not forget that asshole who didn't build the sweat lodge properly and people died. Beware of false spiritual leaders who prey those seeking enlightenment.

While I think it might be interesting, it just isn't necessary. The main role of the shaman/priest/etc. is to create the mindset for the experience and the drug assists in this. It is possible to change one's state of mind without either of these in order to objectively examine oneself from "outside". Rituals are useful in creating states of mind, and you can make up your own. Of course, none of this matters if one isn't prepared to take action afterward. Nothing happens magically but requires awareness and effort. The changes that are possible with awareness and effort can seem magical though.


Here is a very "tough" chick. I read her story here: Very interesting stuff.......

Here's her home page: http://www.kirasalak.com/index.html

Here's her story about the drug: To Hell & Back. http://www.kirasalak.com/Peru.html
 
I think anything that is supposed to solve a life long problem with a pill is not a good thing.

When I was 18 or 19, I dropped acid, like an idiot I ignored everyone who told me to do it with friends, comfortable surroundings, etc. Instead I went alone into the woods to a place that I loved, since I was little... had a pond... and not far from home, a few blocks. So, I drop this shit, 20 minutes later my eyes play tricks on me, pretty at first ! everything was so bright, like X-mas !.... But then I started seeing the trees breathing ?? The pond wanted me to jump in ( I can't swim)... I'm getting nervous now, I still had some frame of mind, so I decided to get the fuck home, and fast before the full effects kicked in ! Too late !! The woods came alive, EVERYTHING ! Now I'm running !! And ran right into a spider web, I take my shirt off and throw it, it turns into several birds and flies away ! Still running I managed to get to the field that leads to home. I'm able to relax from that point, although it was December and I'm walking around the neighborhood with no shirt.
 
When I was 18 or 19, I dropped acid, like an idiot I ignored everyone who told me to do it with friends, comfortable surroundings, etc. Instead I went alone into the woods to a place that I loved, since I was little... had a pond... and not far from home, a few blocks. So, I drop this shit, 20 minutes later my eyes play tricks on me, pretty at first ! everything was so bright, like X-mas !.... But then I started seeing the trees breathing ?? The pond wanted me to jump in ( I can't swim)... I'm getting nervous now, I still had some frame of mind, so I decided to get the fuck home, and fast before the full effects kicked in ! Too late !! The woods came alive, EVERYTHING ! Now I'm running !! And ran right into a spider web, I take my shirt off and throw it, it turns into several birds and flies away ! Still running I managed to get to the field that leads to home. I'm able to relax from that point, although it was December and I'm walking around the neighborhood with no shirt.
Fuck, that must've been scary! Lol I don't know how to swim either despite being born and raised in FL :bored:
 
I did psilocybin alone at home. I wasn't worried about it because I'd done it before and never had a bad trip. To me, organics like psilocybin and mescalin had a much friendlier vibe. LSD seemed so cold and clinical. I couldn't control my LSD trips and that's what made me stop, although it did reveal fears and weaknesses that I needed to work on. You're lucky, dstranger99, because you could've really hurt yourself.

Despite what I learned from those trips I was unable to work through my issues and I continued to be plagued by fear. It would be many years later before I was ready for that. When I did, I was unable to find the language to tell anyone what happened to me. Someone pointed me to the book The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. There were my words! There were my revelations, and they weren't unique at all. I laughed so hard at all my efforts to reinvent the wheel that many others had already done before me, and it belonged to none of us but to everyone. The wisdom of the ages is freely available to all who seek fervently for the truth of what it means to be a human. How we use this wisdom, though, is unique for each of us.
 
Fuck, that must've been scary! Lol I don't know how to swim either despite being born and raised in FL :bored:

Pure 100% panic ! Some people say if you take acid your not you anymore, something changes on how you view the world ... But I felt no difference.
 
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@Satanica . You ever gotten high on weed and listened to Pink Floy'ds "Comfortably Numb" ? You might like that...

By the way, this was the moment when I knew I had to go home:

The pond wanted me to jump in ( I can't swim)...
 
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I've watched a couple of documentaries on this and have done quite a bit of reading as well the last couple of yrs. When powwow comes around every couple of yrs., I "sweat," but it's always been drug free for me. I can shut my mind down and go into trance pretty easily. Lots of ppl use Peyote to do it, and the one time I tried it as a teen, I did enjoy it, but as @Satanica mentioned, I don't like anything where I can't control my trip. Mescalin and coke were so nice when I tried them, I thought, "Man, this is great. I can't ever do this again b/c I could so easily get addicted to this stuff!" Yeah, I know, I'm weird, lol.

As long as I can keep my b/p stabilized (the super shitty, inherited kind), this is on my Bucket List. I've always been into learning as much as I can about spiritual things, humanity, the human brain/mind, and myself before I leave. This one really fascinates me. Great posts. :)
 
@Satanica . You ever gotten high on weed and listened to Pink Floy'ds "Comfortably Numb" ? You might like that...

By the way, this was the moment when I knew I had to go home:

The pond wanted me to jump in ( I can't swim)...

I love listening to music when high. Thanks for the suggestion.

That reminds me that I first heard the Black Sabbath album while tripping on acid. I was tripping when I went to see 2001 when it debuted in theaters. Saw Jimi Hendrix on acid in both Dallas and Fort Worth. (I don't think I was tripping when I went to see Frank Zappa, but we took 10 joints and couldn't begin to smoke all that and were just passing it all over the venue. Don't think I was tripping at The Rolling Stones either, but there was also weed involved at that one.) I even took LSD when I had the mumps. Must've been before the vaccine. I have not driven under the influence of LSD. I was going to try once but I sat there and stared at the dashboard and thought it was all just too complicated. On the other hand I had a friend who could and drove us everywhere when we were tripping. Ah, yes, the good old days.
 
You seem so well adjusted, gatekeeper, that I don't think you'd need any ayahuasca. It's great to have your input. I like your curiosity!
 
I love listening to music when high. Thanks for the suggestion.

That reminds me that I first heard the Black Sabbath album while tripping on acid. I was tripping when I went to see 2001 when it debuted in theaters. Saw Jimi Hendrix on acid in both Dallas and Fort Worth. (I don't think I was tripping when I went to see Frank Zappa, but we took 10 joints and couldn't begin to smoke all that and were just passing it all over the venue. Don't think I was tripping at The Rolling Stones either, but there was also weed involved at that one.) I even took LSD when I had the mumps. Must've been before the vaccine. I have not driven under the influence of LSD. I was going to try once but I sat there and stared at the dashboard and thought it was all just too complicated. On the other hand I had a friend who could and drove us everywhere when we were tripping. Ah, yes, the good old days.

I'm sadly too young to have seen the shows but I tried to listen to Jimi Hendrix on both acid and shrooms and was surprisingly disappointed both times. I'm sure it would've been a much better experience live with the overwhelming vibe from the crowd, but still. I think Eric Clapton is my favorite tripping music, you fly through his layers of music and I'm not even a huge fan of him.

Never try driving while tripping. I did when I was a teenager and I kept seeing myself floating above the car and thought I was controlling it with my mental powers that were forever connected to the machine. I have no idea how I made it through high school alive quite honestly.
 
@Satanica, I read your post about your concert days, and I was getting ready to ask, "Are you my long, lost sister?" Lol.

My friends would always bring an oz. to concerts (sounds like we've seen a lot of the same ones. :)), and my buddy Big John (we're still very close) would sit there and roll one joint after the other, just rolling, hitting, and sending them up, back & down the line. He was very popular. *L* Pot always made me too annoyingly chatty and paranoid in my own head, so I only smoked about 2-3 times a month. I just kept passing it along most of the time. Did get more than a few contact highs, though. Looked like we had a little bonfire going. *S*

Not sure how well-adjusted I am, but, thank you, same to you. It's a very kind compliment. And, I've always been curious about life here on Planet Earth, and all the levels of conciousness we have, the OtherWheres we all wonder about, etc. I've also always been an advocate of spiritual/self-discovery journies, incl. those that involve natural substances that can help open otherwise inaccessible parts of the mind for people who are open to it.

I know a lot of the trouble comes when ppl do them to excess, but I honestly feel there's a reason these substances are available to us, as odd as that might sound. Hell, I have two friends right now that if, for some reason, they run out of weed and can't go get it, I go get it for them b/c I get aggravated with their personalities if they *don't* smoke. :joyful: I guess I just don't want to leave feeling I missed something by not at least trying it. :)
 
I read your post about your concert days, and I was getting ready to ask, "Are you my long, lost sister?" Lol.

I would get so high I would pass out at almost everything we went to see. At the end of the night my friends would be waking me up and helping drag me out to the car. I did everything to excess back then and it ended up making me miserable. Eventually you can't even get high because you're trying to be high all the time. I had to bottom out before I accepted the fact that I had to quit everything for awhile. I ended up being a Jehovah's Witness for a few years.
 
Ayahuasca is, as the article linked to states, a mixture of different plants. One contains N,N-dimethyltryptamine, or DMT; one contains a monoamine oxidase inhibitor, or MAOI -- typically harmine; others contain other psychoactive substances, more DMT, or other MAOIs.

Erowid has much information about various psychoactive substances, plants and, oddly enough (or maybe not so oddly) practices. The components of Ayahuasca are among them.

Psychotria viridis is one plant found in Ayahuasca. It contains the psychedelic tryptamine DMT. This is the material responsible for the bulk of the Ayahuasca experience.

Another plant found in ayahuasca is Banisteriopsis caapi. It contains a MAOI called harmine as well as other harmala alkaloids. The function of these MAOIs is to retard the metabolism of DMT taken orally, allowing it to produce the desired effects.

Other plants can include various Mimosa species, which also contain DMT; Brugmansia, which contains the deliriant alkaloids atropine, scopolamine and hyoscyamine, as does Jimson weed here in the US; various Anadenanthera species, which contain Bufotenin, or "toad venom", and 5-MeO-DMT; and various Virola species, which also contain DMT and 5-MeO-DMT.

Erowid fosters an in-depth, clear-eyed, and unflinching examination of various psychoactives; thus, as might be expected, they have reported on deaths related to Ayahuasca use. The unfortunate Mr. Nolan's death is included in this report, as are links to four further source documents.

--Al
 
Mescalin and coke were so nice when I tried them, I thought, "Man, this is great. I can't ever do this again b/c I could so easily get addicted to this stuff!"

That is how I felt about coke. The high was awesome, the shakes the next day... not so much. But, I know if I do it again, I could easily get hooked. 'shrooms however, were an awesome high for me. I remember staring at a Grateful Dead poster, with the sun on the horizon, for hours. I was waiting to find out if it was a sunrise or a sunset.
 
That is how I felt about coke. The high was awesome, the shakes the next day... not so much. But, I know if I do it again, I could easily get hooked. 'shrooms however, were an awesome high for me. I remember staring at a Grateful Dead poster, with the sun on the horizon, for hours. I was waiting to find out if it was a sunrise or a sunset.

Ah, you, too, huh (coke)? I'd never in my life felt so mentally and physically well/good, as if for once everything was right with the world. I remember telling myself, "This is the way life *should* be. This is what "normal" really feels like....If everyone felt like this, there wouldn't be anymore bad things going on in the world." It really was the neatest feeling, and even my body awareness just felt, lighter, somehow.

I was really bummed when I came down b/c it seemed to bring out the best in me, if that makes any sense. Later on, reality set in again and, like you, I knew I'd have to have the drug to feel that way and it scared me off it. I did learn a lot about myself, and the way I felt about the world, though, kinda like if only we could get ourselves to feel this way w/o the drug, people wouldn't waste their time being angry and hateful to each other anymore.

Sensory-wise, the birds sang a little louder, the sun shone a little brighter, people around me were nicer, the whole world just seemed...better. I have no regrets for trying it, but I can certainly see why some people spend a great deal of their lives chasing that virgin high.

Re: shrooms, I had several friends who really enjoyed them, and I enjoyed asking them about what was going on while they fried; kinda living vicariously. I tried 3gms. and I think it was too much for a first timer. I expected them to taste awful, but after about 20 min. my stomach just let loose and a lot came up. I also should have taken the caps off the stems to reduce the amt., I think, but I ended up with enough in me to just lay on top of my car and stare at the stars, and see the neatest halos and trails around things. Our conversations that night went from silly & ridiculous to discussing the deep, inner workings of the Universe, lol. Swimming in the lake was a trip. I kept thinking the water was deeper than it was and ended up jumping out b/c I thought I was going to drown. It was about 3 1/2 ft., lol.

So, did you ever find out if the sun was rising or setting? Would have been really cool if you'd have heard Jerry say hi. :)
 
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@Alf , great info. I've used erowid vaults as a go to ref. since Win98 was all the rage. After seeing a vid study on DMT a couple of yrs. ago, I signed up for one here. I'd had spontaneous "trips" much like they described (which some folks say are close to astral projection) since I was a teen and I loved them. But, b/c I've had hereditary hypertention for many yrs. and it takes three different meds to control it, I didn't qualify. I would have *loved* to have been a part of that one.

In one study, all but two people described the sensation of leaving their bodies and having some sort of ecstatic, joyful, spiritual experience. More than half described "meeting" or seeing some sort of lovely, "angelic" type being along with feelings of "pure, unconditional love" and "peace" so satisfying they "didn't want to come back."

Very interesting the link to MAOI's, too. They're an old drug to help stabilize some of the deepest mental (and sometimes assoc. physical) instabilities, but they're not used much anymore b/c of all the dietary, drug, and other contraindications. Again, great information. Thanks. :)
 
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So, did you ever find out if the sun was rising or setting? Would have been really cool if you'd have heard Jerry say hi. :)

Sadly no, to the sunset/sunrise and to Jerry saying hi. I did watch the globe light on the ceiling breathe for a while, then I went into the room I was supposed to sleep in and saw a poster of Charles Manson on the wall. I was convinced that he was going to come out of the wall in the middle of the night, so I slept on the floor in my buddies room. (He was in college and was sharing a house with others.)

We brewed some into tea and made peanut butter/mushrooms sandwiches. The logic behind it was that the tea would get into our system faster, but not be as strong, then the sandwiches would hit us and we would peak longer. To me, it seemed like it worked. I tripped my ass off for the entire night. The next day we walked to the Philadelphia Art Museum. I can still remember how vivid the colors all seemed that day, ant that was well over 20 years ago.
 
@eracsurfer , smart idea about the peanut butter! Meat and/or vegetable proteins do, in fact, carry psychoactive substances, opiate narcotics, etc., longer when they're taken by mouth. That's why I always ask my oral opiate patients what/when the last time they ate was, and offer a small container of peanut butter and a couple of pkgs. of crackers if they need them before they take their hydro/oxycodone, dilaudid, etc. Excellent intuition. :)

Friends used to like to put them in all kinds of small qtys of diff. foods to keep them down and help disguise the taste. Except for a couple of them, their trips always lasted longer than the one I tried. I was "back" in about eight hours. My experience was at night w/o artificial light, so the only bright colors I noticed besides silvery-white were pink and green (tracers). Would have been cool to see them all during the day.
 
@eracsurfer Friends used to like to put them in all kinds of small qtys of diff. foods to keep them down and help disguise the taste. Except for a couple of them, their trips always lasted longer than the one I tried. I was "back" in about eight hours. My experience was at night w/o artificial light, so the only bright colors I noticed besides silvery-white were pink and green (tracers). Would have been cool to see them all during the day.

I always thought tripping was infinitely better at night. The daylight tended to swoop me back to an uncomfortable reality once in a while that I didn't enjoy. The night adds a feeling of being hidden and free to do as you please and let the trip overtake you. I found the lack of bright colors allowed my brain to fill in the blanks even better. Then again, I only did mushrooms a couple times since I get way too nauseous (the taste alone.... bleehhhh) and then anxious because of the sick feeling, so I was always more of an acid type girl. For me acid always had better visuals so maybe it reacts better with the darkness than mushrooms do.
 
I'd do DMT in a heartbeat! If it is as powerful as it's reputed to be, it could be an amazing aid to therapy for SOME people. To see and confront traumatic, life-altering events can change your life. I have a gift for...I dunno what to call it; a shrink said it was spontaneous age-regression facilitated by self-hypnosis. Worked wonders for my depression, OCD, guilt and shame; I went back there and SAW what happened to me, clean and clear. Cried till I was parched for water; then I felt such freedom...and started to heal. Doesn't sound like anything I'd do for fun (can't do that anyway).
 
I will say this, reading through this, I can see the attraction some folks have had to narcotics, but I have never and will never use. Not that it's bad for those that do, but no thanks. I found out years ago that I have an allergy to almost anything that can grow naturally and wildly, this includes most herbs and various other natural narcotics (ie Weed, peyote). So that kind of made me focus on not getting involved in any of them.
 
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