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Are Humans Monogamous?

Jake88

Jake88

SARCASTIC SLUT
OMG! SO I GOOGLED "Are dolphins horny?" AND OMFG ARE THEY EVER!

HA! My wife doesn't like my theory on whether or not humans are monogamous.... I don't think we are! Sorry to all of you penguins out there... but you're not a fucking penguin! Penguins are monogamous by instinct. They don't ever look at another penguin... monogamous life long bond! The real deal yo!

Okay, so I told my wife that monogamy is an instinct. You can't choose to be monogamous, you can only practice it... but you can't fucking be it. She disagreed. She was wrong.

Anyway, if you've ever been physically and/or sexually attracted to another person while in a relationship... which has to be every female because ummm Charlie Hunnam anyone? He's a handsome dude yo! Google him ladies if you don't know who I'm talking about- and I ain't gay(not that there's anything wrong with that!) but I know a pantydropper when I see one!

Here's some statistics for you stat hounds too!

http://www.livescience.com/32146-are-humans-meant-to-be-monogamous.html

- Only 3-5 percent of the estimated 5000 species of mammals (including humans) are known to form lifelong monogamous bonds.

"Scientists view both social and sexual monogamy in humans as a societal structure rather than a natural state" (I omitted the word "some" before "Scientists" so the quote would better fit my narrative. Sneaky but effective.)

- 16% percent of societies in today's world practice monogamy. Mostly just the western world's societal red tape lol. I can't find the story that I got this stat from, but I assure you I wouldn't lie about a statistic like that. I'm a straight dude and I just told you that I think another dude is handsome, I would never lie to you all after being so forthright.

Dolphins were the wild card. I understand them to be even smarter than humans having developed their own sonar or some shit. Either way, they are really smart, we can agree on that, right? Okay. Well intelligence is a big factor here. They are horny and so are we! Think about that the next time you think it's cute to go swimming with the dolphins! Is a dolphin wet humping your leg with a dolphin boner.... really that cute? I don't think so.



Lastly, I hope you all find my hypothesis to be very informative. Maybe you have all felt confused and or ashamed all of these years... when you just want to dry hump some guys at first sight like a horny fucking dolphin! It's okay ladies... you're not a fucking penguin!

#LadyTigers
[doublepost=1488091067,1488090632][/doublepost]Oh and I would like to be a social monogamist. My wife won't go for that, so start the movement! She might be a bandwaggoner...
 
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Yeah, humans aren't monogamous by nature. It's a conscious effort to behave so, and not really what comes naturally.

I personally don't cheat and don't really care for people who do, but I'm also realistic enough that I'm unmarried (by design, heh). I can totally excel at monogamy, a few years at a go. :)

What I personally find unnatural is expecting someone you partner with at say, 20, growing and evolving at the same time you are doing the same, and expecting you both to end up still perfect for each other at 70, when you've had 5 decades of life experiences changing you in the interim (sorry, run-on). It's shocking how few people end up able to remain compatible and happy after that process.
 
everjaded said:
20, growing and evolving at the same time you are doing the same, and expecting you both to end up still perfect for each other at 70,
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Well which is more important monogamy or devotion? Infidelity is not the same as having multiple partners. Infidelity involves deception ... deception is bad for marriage. I think multiple partners is okay in a marriage as long as no one suffers. All obligations are met, and things are transparent. For me I would want to be the wife that answered the phone and said "Yes I know about your relationship. You're not pregnant he had a vasectomy. He is never leaving ever, go ahead and kill yourself, We'll send flowers!" And "honey she called again if she goes near our children i will kill her!" Because there is always the chance that might come into your life. Otherwise you're the wife who say's what the fuck is this ??? and who wants to be her ??? So I am no we are not supposed to be monogamous ... and we're not supposed to be liars either.
 
My husband and I have been together since I was 20 We've fucked each other over several times but we both have grown and see ourselves as more honest so we don't expect the behaviors to keep happening. We didn't really calm down until around 30. It's almost like the idea of threesomes and orgies are great but then the actual act almost makes me chicken out. Of course if my husband had it his way he'd be having atleast two women in the bed at all times which is so natural to want but is it going to happen more than a handful of drunkin nights, probably not.
 
I think it depends on the people and their personalities and environments and how they were raised. I'm all for serial monogamy as anything else gets confusing but unless someone is heavily bringing kids in the mix or harming themselves or others I am indifferent to any of their actions so long as they leave me out of it. It's funny that some animals are notably completely monogamous to death in many cases
 
lithiumgirl said:
Well which is more important monogamy or devotion? Infidelity is not the same as having multiple partners. Infidelity involves deception ... deception is bad for marriage. I think multiple partners is okay in a marriage as long as no one suffers. All obligations are met, and things are transparent. For me I would want to be the wife that answered the phone and said "Yes I know about your relationship. You're not pregnant he had a vasectomy. He is never leaving ever, go ahead and kill yourself, We'll send flowers!" And "honey she called again if she goes near our children i will kill her!" Because there is always the chance that might come into your life. Otherwise you're the wife who say's what the fuck is this ??? and who wants to be her ??? So I am no we are not supposed to be monogamous ... and we're not supposed to be liars either.
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Agree with this, although I think this is different than the question that was originally posed. If adults can come to an understanding about what they want and need, and draw up an arrangement that works for them both, then Yahtzee!

That's an altogether different animal, compared to people who make a monogamous commitment, fail at it, and end up lying and hurting the partner that had been keeping up with their side of the monogamous bargain.

Really I don't think there should be any single relationship model. Whatever works for the couple (or triad, or so on) is what they should be doing. If they're mature enough to bring in other partners, either casually or seriously, and all are OK with the arrangement, then fine.
 
[QUOTE="everjaded, post: 1056724, member: 8259"
Really I don't think there should be any single relationship model. Whatever works for the couple (or triad, or so on) is what they should be doing. If they're mature enough to bring in other partners, either casually or seriously, and all are OK with the arrangement, then fine.[/QUOTE]
totally agree and perhaps I have seen too many epic fail situations with drama queens that try to drag others into their mess which was what I meant and for some reason was thinking of eagles when I read the first line of yours, lol
 
everjaded said:
Yeah, humans aren't monogamous by nature. It's a conscious effort to behave so, and not really what comes naturally.

What I personally find unnatural is expecting someone you partner with at say, 20, growing and evolving at the same time you are doing the same, and expecting you both to end up still perfect for each other at 70, when you've had 5 decades of life experiences changing you in the interim (sorry, run-on). It's shocking how few people end up able to remain compatible and happy after that process.
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Welllll. Im glad I brought such thought provoking material to the table even when being satirical. I agree with the basis of my satire of course, but I really just wanted to swoon over Charlie Hunnam with the rest of you for a minute!

Lol I also NEVER said the word cheat! Hot damn, don't put words like that in my mouth lol! The relationship part I don't find that difficult if you're with the right person. Its the ahem... physical urges that I want to act on.

Also, there are women that get legitimately mad if their man even LOOKS at another woman, and that is kind of psychotic to me knowing what I know. Its okay to look! That was my main message. Oh, and I want it to be okay to sample too lol...

#ILoveSamplingTheMerchandise(At Costco)!

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hookerspit said:
It's almost like the idea of threesomes and orgies are great but then the actual act almost makes me chicken out.
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I liked where you used the word almost in that sentence!
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everjaded said:
I think eagles are successfully monogamous lol
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It's cuz their so bald. It ain't by choice...
 
@Jake88 ... We had to click on the horny dolphin, He says it doesn't count she;s got her pants on.

Monogamy is hot ... And not the same as attraction. Charlie is hot too!
 
lithiumgirl said:
@Jake88 ... We had to click on the horny dolphin, He says it doesn't count she;s got her pants on.
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Would you rather she didn't?

Side note, I read some facts on Dolphins... and they should have their own story on the front page here! They gang rape other dolphins for sometimes weeks on end! Using different forms of intimidation like tail whipping them... and chasing them down when they get away! Disturbing.

I will never look at a dolphin the same. They're all smiles until they get you under the surface! Then for those of you that are lucky enough to resurface.. you're never the same again! Your hair is just albino white from all of the stress they caused you during captivity, and you'll only know how to scream! You gotta learn to talk all over again... Dolphins are evil demonic fuckers.

#StopClubbingStealsAndStartShootingDolphins
 
Remember this guy, we have a thread on him on here

.
Dude Who Has Sex With Dolphins Gets His Own Documentary: Meet The Florida Man Who Banged A Blow Hole

Malcolm Brenner is a 63-year-old New Jersey born journalist who became famous after coming out as a ‘zoophile’ in 1971 when he spent a year falling in love and having sex with a dolphin at ‘Floridaland’, an aquatic theme park in Sarasota.
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Edit

https://www.google.com/amp/www.mirr...ews/i-sex-dolly-dolphin-year-long-5084025.amp
 
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biteme said:
Remember this guy, we have a thread on him on here
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Well hey! At least we know that the feelings might have been mutual! Not that I find that comforting... at all. At least you know that they were probably both guilty of violating one another repeatedly though!

#WhoWasGivingItToWho
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Macabre said:
Monogamy is overrated, but so is polyamory.
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Bonding with human beings is over rated. That's why we all have iphones now... and vibrators. I mean ummmmm... I definitely don't have a vibrator!

ETA: Sometimes it's hard to tell when I'm joking, I really don't have a vibrator lol, I want that in black and white... and not the vibrator! My clarification!

Sincerely,

Swifty
 
Jake88 said:
Well hey! At least we know that the feelings might have been mutual! Not that I find that comforting... at all. At least you know that they were probably both guilty of violating one another repeatedly though!

#WhoWasGivingItToWho
[doublepost=1488161582,1488161384][/doublepost]

Bonding with human beings is over rated. That's why we all have iphones now... and vibrators. I mean ummmmm... I definitely don't have a vibrator!

ETA: Sometimes it's hard to tell when I'm joking, I really don't have a vibrator lol, I want that in black and white... and not the vibrator! My clarification!

Sincerely,

Swifty
Click to expand...

I own a vibrator, and it treats me well. I'm sure most women would agree.
 
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