The law decided Anthony Hales' life sentence before those affected by his crime gathered Thursday in Erie County Court.
No words could force a stiffer or lighter sentence for the first-degree murder of his girlfriend of four years, Christina Hulsinger.
But that did not render Hales' sentencing hearing a mere "formality," Judge John J. Trucilla told the friends and family that crowded into Trucilla's small courtroom.
"I think it presents an opportunity for people on both sides to appreciate the value of life that Christina represented," he said.
Hulsinger, he said, did nothing to deserve what happened to her.
Hales, 25, was convicted of first-degree murder in January by an Erie County jury that rejected his claim that he was so high on cocaine he could not have formed the specific intent to kill. The charge carries a mandatory sentence of life in prison with no chance of parole.
Hales said the two ate dinner on Jan. 28, 2011, then smoked $200 worth of crack cocaine in their Lake City home. Hulsinger, 47, was sitting playing cards when, Hales said, he tried to strangle her. When that did not work, he said he tried to break her neck, and when that failed, he went to the kitchen and retrieved a butcher knife to cut her throat.
Hales, who spoke first Thursday, apologized repeatedly, even while admitting that no sentence will make up for what he did.
"I hate myself for what I did," he said. "If I could give my life to have Christina back, I would."
Family and friends on both sides submitted letters to Trucilla.
Hulsinger's 14-year-old grandson, Tyler Vasilik, a small, slight boy, was the only person to stand and speak for Hulsinger's extended family. In a handwritten letter, he described the effect his grandmother's murder has had on him.
"My life gets worse and worse as every day goes by," he said.
"Thanks to you, I think about death every day," he told Hales. "Life is not worth living without her."
Vasilik said friends flocked to his grandmother's funeral, where, he said, he held her hand for more than two hours trying to make it warm again.
Her loss, he said, taught him to "love more. Because you never know what will happen tomorrow."
The boy said Hales used to play baseball with him and talk to him about how to "build muscle."
"I loved you," the boy said.
"I have to live knowing that my favorite person was forced to die by someone I actually had a relationship with," he said.
Trucilla told Hales he believed he had the legal right to raise the defense that his use of cocaine affected his ability to form the intent to kill Hulsinger.
He said he believed Hales felt true remorse.
But he said Hales made a string of decisions that led to "one of the worst acts of violence this court ever witnessed."
Hales chose to use the drug, even when he knew that it made him prone to violence, Trucilla said.
And, the judge recalled, Hales choked Hulsinger, and then took more steps to kill her after he realized she was not dead yet.
"I just can't understand if you cared for her, why you did not call for help," Trucilla said.
"I don't know if good can be taken out of this," Trucilla said.
The case should, he said, let others know the "ravages of drugs."
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