Man Reportedly Dies After Having Sex With Wasp’s Nest *HOAX*
May 16, 2013 at 8:18 am by Agony In Black
DENMARK, SWEDEN – News Sweden is reporting that a man identified only as Hasse has died after attempting to have sex with a wasp’s nest.
The stinging sexual assault took place Monday on a farm near Ystad, a town of about 18,000, near Denmark, at the southern tip of the country better known for massages and their nonexistent bikini team.
According to investigators, Bertil Stahfraas discovered the 35-year-old victim lying unconscious on his farm. Stahfraas described his horny neighbor as being so bloated, at first he thought he was looking at a whale carcass. When he got closer, though, he was able to recognize Hasse’s neck tattoo. No word on whether Hasse was a Li’l Kim fan.
Hasse—unfortunately for him—was still alive, but died an hour after being found. Following an autopsy, police concluded that Hasse had tried to have intercourse with the wasp’s nest, without removing said wasps. The coronor found 146 stings on his body, including 54 on his genitals.
Insiders say the pathologist believes no man in recorded history ever wished to ejaculate prematurely more than Hasse.…
Continue ReadingDebra Farinella Accused Of Decorating Home With Items Stolen From Cemetery
May 13, 2013 at 8:11 am by Morbid
STCLOUD, FL – Police say 57-year-old Debra Farinella decorated her home and yard with hundreds of items stolen off of Mount Peace Cemetery gravesites, including the gravesites of babies.
She got busted after someone at the cemetery noticed her leaving a grave in which items were stolen and was able to provide police with a description and a partial license plate number.
When police arrived at her home, the noticed that her front yard and home were decorated with 146 pieces she’d stolen, including planters, flowers, angels, pottery, Christmas lights, religious figurines, wind chimes, and other trinkets that people had placed on the graves of their loved ones.
“She was not very particular,” said St. Cloud Police Department spokesperson, Officer Chad Durham. “She would take them from baby gravesites, as well as adult gravesites.”
They even found a baseball in her home that was from a gravesite of a boy who passed away at 16.
Farinella, who has a rap sheet 25 pages long, told police she had purchased the items from yard sales.…
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MOUNT HOPKINS, AZ – Lord knows I have reported on just about every horrifying death imaginable, but every now and then one comes around that has me thinking about the victim and muttering, “You poor, poor son of a bitch.”
On Monday, 55-year-old Steven Johnson was found dead in the Santa Rita Mountains hanging from his rappelling gear and covered in bee stings. The dog Johnson often took with him was also found dead and covered in bee stings on the cliff Johnson had rappelled from.
Johnson, an experienced hiker and mountain climber, was reportedly working an area of Mount Hopkins on Friday to prepare it for future climbers. Sheriff’s deputies went to search the site after he failed to show up for work on Monday.
An autopsy will be conducted to determine actual cause of death, but Santa Cruz County’s Lt. Raoul Rodriguez believes that Johnson may have disturbed a bees’ nest while hammering his ropes into the cliff. Some comments state that this is a terrible time of year in regards to bees, and some mentioned that the bees that attacked Johnson and his dog were probably the dreaded Africanized Honey Bee, aka the true Killer Bee.…
Continue ReadingNeriza Fojas And Four Other Women Died Inside Burning Limo On San Mateo-Hayward Bridge
May 6, 2013 at 8:30 am by Morbid
California – Just when I thought I’ve covered just about every horrible death imaginable, five women died inside a burning limo while out celebrating the upcoming wedding of one of the victim, 31-year-old Neriza Fojas.
While crossing the San Mateo-Hayward bridge Saturday night, the white stretch Lincoln caught on fire. The driver, 46-year-old Orville Brown, pulled over when the women got his attention, thinking the women were asking him to stop so they could smoke.
“She said, ‘No smoke – smoke smoke…pull over pull over pull over,’” Brown recalled. “I saw the smoke, pulled over, by the time I was getting out the car there was a lady coming over the partition.”
He said he helped three other women escape the fiery limo, but was unable to help the bride-to-be and four other women. They ended up trapped inside and were all killed in the fire.
Police would later say that the victims were burned beyond recognition and had to be identified by their dental records. County coroner Robert Foucrault told NBC that the victims were found lying on top of each other, with one dying while trying to climb through the partition that separates the passenger compartment from the driver’s.…
Continue ReadingDennis McCauley Lived With Woman’s Rotting Corpse For Six Months
April 27, 2013 at 12:25 pm by PaganOne
Redford Township, MI - Police have arrested 64-year-old Dennis McCauley after it was discovered that he had been living with the corpse of 72-year-old Ann Marquis since November.
Dennis McCauley had been living with Mrs. Marquis in her mobile home at Long’s Mobile Home Court just outside of Detroit for about three years. When her rent hadn’t been paid for 6 months, the manager came to her home to evict her. When he knocked on the door, Dennis McCauley answered, and was apparently pretty nonchalant considering there was a rotting corpse laid out on the pull out sofa within easy view of the front door.
McCauley let an officer into the trailer and “the officer noted a pungent smell of decay and observed a corpse in the room immediately to the right of the front door,” states Redford Township Sgt. Kevin Crittenden. “The corpse had obviously been deceased for some time and was partially dried out.” I can’t help but imagine a comically short conversation between the officer and McCauley. Is that a dead body on the couch? Why, yes, officer.…
Continue ReadingTwo Grave Robbers Accused Of Digging Up Remains Of Soldier And Child
April 26, 2013 at 9:53 am by Agony In Black
BURKE COUNTY, Ga – One suspect is under arrest And authorities are hunting for a second after grave robberies that happened in Burke County last week.
Investigators say Ralph “Bubba” Hillis (you can’t make this shit up) was arrested Monday evening in Richmond County. His alleged accomplice, Jerry Atkinson, also of Waynesboro, is still wanted. Both men are charged with malicious removal of the dead from a grave.
The Old Church Cemetery’s caretakers said the scene was “heart-breaking,” after they discovered a toddler’s bones spilled from a casket and the uniform buried with a soldier in another plot strewn on the ground. In all, five graves were desecrated, according to police reports.
Burke County sheriff’s Sgt. Sean Cochran said that relic hunting is a possible motive. Or, Hillis and Atkinson could have just been trying to attract the attention of Buckwild producers for their own series.
A reward of more than $2,000 is being offered for information on the desecration at the Old Church Cemetery, or information on the whereabouts of Jerry Atkinson.…
Continue ReadingSevered Goat’s Head Delivered To Wrigley Field, Addressed To Cubs Owner
April 11, 2013 at 9:01 am by Agony In Black
CHICAGO, IL – Let it not be said that superstition and lore have no place in modern-day baseball, as evidenced by Cubs chairman Tom Ricketts receiving a package in the mail at Wrigley Field on Wednesday afternoon. The contents? A severed goat’s head.
The goat’s head, in all likelihood, is a reference to the infamous curse of the billy goat, a piece of baseball history that dates back to the 1945 World Series, and an incident in which Sam Sianis, a Cubs fan, was asked to leave a game against the rival Detroit Tigers due to the smell of his billy goat. Lost in years of retelling is whether the goat was the man’s date, or had its own ticket.
According to Julian Green, a team spokesman, a package was dropped at Wrigley Field’s Gate K on Wednesday, addressed to Ricketts. The package was apparently delivered by an unknown person, and did not appear to have been delivered by the USPS. Police were called at around 2:30, when it was determined that officials had on their hands an, “intimidating package.” Bet that was a heckuva phone call.…
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West Covina, CA — An unidentified man with a helluva DIY project in mind, apparently walked into a West Covina Home Depot Wednesday evening and proceeded to saw through both of his arms as horrified customers looked on.
Police and witnesses say the man calmly walked into the store’s tool section just before 1:00 p.m., grabbed several small handsaws, including one meant to cut sheet rock, and got busy.
“He cut both arms with hand saws down to the bone,” said West Covina police Cpl. Rudy Lopez. ”He was pretty much intent on doing what he did.”
An off-duty paramedic from the Pasadena Fire Department had been shopping nearby and rushed to help.
“The officers had already found the man down, face down, blood all over the store, multiple aisles, and the whole store is in chaos,” the paramedic, Art Hurtado, said.
Hurtado told reporters he thought the man was dead, but when he checked he found breath and a slight pulse and said he thought to himself, “I can save this guy.”
With help from others, Hurtado rounded up some rags and rope and, poof!…
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Palm Coast, Florida – A 68 year old man is dead after jumping on the trunk of the Hyundai Sonata his wife was driving away from their home.
The highway patrol investigator in charge of the case says many details are not available to give the public right now as the investigation is ongoing.
What they have stated is that before Richard Resnicoff fell of the car, he and his wife, 65 year old Lucille Horton, had some sort of domestic dispute. So far, it is unknown whether he hopped on the vehicle before she was in motion or if she was already roaring off.
The couple’s next-door neighbor, Bill Wescoski, reports he saw the car driving down the street and originally thought it was kids joyriding. At some point it struck him that it was, in fact, his neighbor Richard hanging onto the back.
“And I said, ‘Hey, that’s our neighbor.’ And as he goes down, and then the car sped up, you saw his feet up in the air,” described Wescoski.…
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Spartanburg County, SC — Not much to this one – no one was shot, stabbed, eaten or even arrested – but because it involves flatulence, I had to get it posted. ‘Cause hey, I’m mature like that.
Police were called to the home of Shannon and Michael Manatis earlier this week after receiving a report of a domestic disturbance. Seems the Mr. let loose a butt burp that left the Mrs. gasping for air and fighting the urge to toss her cookies.
Shannon reportedly told the responding officer said air biscuit was “bad enough to cause her to almost puke.” So, in retaliation, she grabbed a can of vanilla scented Lysol (that exists?!?!) and sprayed it in the area her husband occupied.
She continued the story, claiming that as she turned to leave the residence, Michael started belly-aching about how she had sprayed him in the eye. She further claimed that Michael threw a glass of tea at the back of her head, and for that, she wanted to press charges.…
Continue ReadingWoman Feeling The Pain After Taking Offensive Pic At Arlington National Cemetery
November 21, 2012 at 9:08 am by Morbid
PLYMOUTH, MA – If you are interested in watching someone suffer severe backlash at the hands of the Internet because of a picture they posted on Facebook, then look no further than 30-year-old Lindsey Stone.
Stone was visiting the Arlington National Cemetery in October while on a paid business trip. She and a co-worker thought it would be funny to take this picture of Lindsey acting as if she was shouting while giving the finger to a sign at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier that asks for “silence and respect.”
Thinking that this was funny and clever and everyone would tell them what a laugh riot she is, Lindsey and her co-worker posted the image to their public Facebook profiles for the world to see. Of course, this turned out to be a real bad idea.
It wasn’t long before the picture went viral, outraging many, prompting someone claiming to be a disabled Operation Iraqi Freedom veteran to create a Fire Lindsey Stone Facebook page. He is demanding that Stone be fired from LIFE, the non-profit organization that helps adults with disabilities that Lindsey worked for and who paid for the trip.…
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Pleasant View, UT – An 11-year-old girl in Utah has died after she accidentally impaled herself with a rod used to hold window blinds together.
Last Saturday morning, Nikki Clark was outside with her dog when she tripped while walking up the steps outside her parents’ home. She ended up landing on the rod which entered her chest, nicked her spine, and then exited out of her neck.
Nikki ran inside her house and, not knowing any better, removed the pole herself. The removal resulted in even more internal damage and caused massive bleeding.
“She immediately bled out within two minutes,” said family spokeswoman Brandi Babbitt.
Nikki was rushed to the hospital and underwent several surgeries and medical procedures, but doctor’s weren’t able to revive her. Nikki’s parents removed her from life support on Monday after she was declared brain dead and her salvageable organs were donated.
“It’s the decision we had to make ultimately because she wasn’t going to come back to us,” Tommy Clark, Nikki’s uncle, said. “The only thing we could do is let her go so she could be happy.”
The family is now looking at substantial medical costs on top of funeral expenses so a fund has been set up at U.S.…
Continue ReadingMailman Thought Corpse Was Halloween Decoration, Delivers Dead Man’s Mail
November 12, 2012 at 12:19 pm by PaganOne
Denver, CO – The family of a man who collapsed and died on his front porch say a mailman walked by the dead man but did not call for help because he thought it was a Halloween decoration.
On Nov 2nd, 46-year-old Dale Porch returned home from his graveyard shift but never made it inside. His body was found on the porch by his adult son around noon. His family noted that the mail had been delivered and presumed the mailman must have seen Porch, who had collapsed just a few feet away from the mailbox.
Turns out the mailman did, in fact, see Porch laying on the ground that day. In fact, he walked right by his body to deliver the man’s mail. But before anyone starts berating the mailman over his dedication to his job and lack of compassion, he has a pretty good excuse.
He states he thought the unconscious Mr. Porch was actually a mannequin set out as a Halloween decoration. While the post office is defending the mailman’s actions, calling it an unfortunate situation, they did take him off his route while they investigate.…
Continue ReadingBumble Bee Tuna Plant Worker Killed After Being Cooked In Oven
October 15, 2012 at 8:35 am by Morbid
Santa Fe Springs, CA — According to the California Division of Occupational Safety and Health, a 62-year-old man working at a Bumble Bee tuna plant died after he was cooked inside an oven.
Sometime around 7 a.m. Thursday, Jose Malena was found inside a cooking device they are calling a “steamer machine.” Paramedics were called but they pronounced Malena dead as soon as they arrived.
Although they know who the man is, the coroner’s office is having some issues positively identifying Malena because of how badly his body was damaged in the machine. He died as a result of being “trapped in a pressure cooker,” Lt. Cheryl MacWillie said, bringing up images that do not play well with the breakfast burritos I ate earlier.
An investigation is currently underway in hopes of finding out how Malena, who had worked at the factory for six years, ended up inside the machine. I did a little Googling to find out exactly what this steamer machine looks like, and found some images of an industrial tuna steamer sold by JBT.…
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PALM DESERT, CA — A woman in California is claiming it is unfair that she was turned down for a job at a Tilted Kilt restaurant because she could not fit into their uniform.
I don’t know if any of you are aware of this chain of restaurants, but Tilted Kilt is like Hooters, but it’s Celtic-themed and the girls wear short kilts. The food is also better than Hooters, but that’s not saying much as any public school cafeteria has better food than Hooters.
Anyway, one of the restaurants is hiring new girls after being closed for over a year, and 20-year-old Jennifer Rogers applied for one of the positions. That’s not her in the picture, btw. This is Jennifer – I just couldn’t pass up a chance to post an image of a brunette with big tits.
After making it through the initial hiring process, it came down to Jennifer trying on the Tilted Kilt uniform. They come in three sizes, but Rogers could squeeze into any of them. Because of this, she wasn’t hired and now she’s angry. ”Why should anyone have to look a certain way to work at a different place?…
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DEERFIELD BEACH, FL – Shortly after Edward Archbold won a cockroach eating contest at Ben Siegel Reptile Store, he collapsed in front of the store and died.
The 32-year-old had been participating the store’s second annual Midnight Madness sale that included a cockroach eating contest. The winner of the contest would be the proud owner of an $850 Ivory ball python which, if he won it, Archbold had planned on selling to the friend who brought him there.
Around 30 people were compteting for the python, but Archbold was victorious after downing dozens of cockroaches and worms. His victory was short lived, however, as after the contest was over Archbold became ill and started throwing up. I have seen some horrific vomit in my life, some of it my own, but just thinking of what came back out of Archbold’s mouth almost trips my gag reflex.
Paramedics ended up being called to the scene after Archbold collapsed in front of the store. He was taken to the hospital where he was later pronounced dead. Currently, the cause of Archbold’s death is a mystery, but hopefully that will be resolved whenever his autopsy report is complete.…
Continue ReadingDoctor Arrested After 100+ Human Organs Found In Storage Unit
September 11, 2012 at 8:45 am by Lizard
Pensacola, FL - Have you watched A&E’s Storage Wars? My dad got me hooked on it. Dave Hester (“YEP!”), Darrell Sheets, the ever-quirky Barry Weiss, and the prickly Jarrod-and-Brandi duo go head-to-head in auctions of the contents of abandoned storage units.
There’s already a spin-off titled Storage Wars: Texas, and there may wind up being a New York version as well…however, no Storage Wars-related filming has been reported in Florida…which is either really good news or a total shame based on what was found in a Pensacola storage unit last month: over 100 containers containing various human organs. YEP!
On Friday, 57-year-old Dr. Michael Berkland, a former assistant medical examiner, was arrested and charged with improper storage of hazardous waste, nuisance injurious to public health, and driving with a suspended license. (Check out the mug–can’t you hear the sad trombone “wah wah wah” tones?)
About three years ago, Berkland rented the storage unit, claiming its contents consisted of stuff like furniture and sporting and household goods…you know, normal junk many of us accumulate and just can’t seem to let go of.…
Continue ReadingTeen Killed After Sticking His Head Outside Party Bus, Striking Highway Overpass
September 2, 2012 at 11:00 am by Morbid
FORT LEE, N.J. – A 16-year-old boy was killed Friday night after he stuck his head outside a double-decker party bus and struck the underside of a highway overpass.
Daniel Fernandez was with 65 other teens in a party bus headed towards a Sweet 16 party in New Jersey. The bus was crossing the George Washington Bridge from New York when Fernandez stuck his head out of an emergency hatch located in the roof of the bus, and his head hit the Fletcher Avenue Underpass.
The security guard on the bus says he told the teens, multiple times, to quit messing with the hatch. “I told them not to open the hatch, like three or four times, but kids, they don’t understand,” said 41-year-old Alex Franco.
Franco says that the incident happened when he walked downstairs to tell the driver it was getting too hot in the bus. That’s when he said he heard people screaming and ran back upstairs to see what happened and saw Fernandez laying on the floor covered in blood.
“I saw him on the floor,” said Franco.…
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RAWDON, Quebec – A new bride was swept into a river and drowned while posing for pictures in her wedding dress.
Last week, 30-year-old Maria Pantazopoulos drowned while posing for “Trash the Dress” wedding pictures in the Ouareau River. When the subject of marriage ever comes up, I always suffer from a reaction akin to a vampire exposed to sunlight, so I was not aware of the “Trash the Dress” phenomena some recently married women partake in.
For those of you unaware, “Trash the Dress” is a a style of wedding photography that details a bride destroying her wedding dress instead of letting it rot in a closet while she slowly destroys a man’s soul. New bride’s will wear their dress one last time while on a beach, garbage dumps, fields, or abandoned buildings. A simple Google search pulls up tons of such images.
In the case of Pantazopoulos, the photographer she hired suggested a shoot at the Ouareau River. One account states she was standing on a rocky area in about a foot of water when her dress became so heavy from getting wet that she was pulled off the rocks and into the river.…
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KALISPELL, MT — If anyone would have ever old me that one day I would be using an image of Harry from HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS in an article on this site, I would have never believed it. Hoped for? Yes. Believed it? Nope.
But that day has come, thanks to a man in Montana who was killed after being struck by two cars while dressed as a sasquatch.
According to friends, 44-year-old Randy Lee Tenley wanted to start a Bigfoot hoax by dressing in a military-style camouflage ghillie suit, and making appearances along Highway 93. So on Sunday night, Tenley donned his garb and stood in the right-hand lane of the highway, in hopes of scaring passing motorists.
Tenley’s plan may have worked out a lot better had he not decided to stand on the highway at night. In clothing designed to help you blend in with foliage. At the same two teenage girls were driving on it.
Tenley was first struck by a vehicle driven by a 15-year-old girl who says she was unable to avoid hitting him.…
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