Columbia, South Carolina - When Daniel Webb, 33, was released from the hospital in MarchMarch reviews after being treated for a knee injury, he weighed over 500-pounds. When he returned home, he sat in a recliner in the mobile home he shared with his girlfriend. He sat there for 8-months until he died of a heart attack – weighing 800-pounds. He simply could not get out of the chair. Ever. He slept in the chair, he shit in the chair, he would preach the word of God online from the chair. When his mother made the call to 911 that her son was in a lot of pain, firefighters had to cut him out of the chair. They also had to cut a hole in the wall of the mobile home to get him out of it. He died a few hours later, his body covered with sores and a “very bad odor.” His girlfriend blames all of this on the fact that they did not have health insurance and no one would come out to see Webb. [Read more...]

TWIN FALLS, Idaho – Alan Jansen’s work has him traveling a lot and away from his home. Around Halloween, he began to notice maggots in his kitchen. So over the next few weeks he began cleaning, only to return home and find more maggots. After finding some in his light fixtures, he deciding that the source of his maggot infestation must be coming from the attic and decided to go investigate. He climbed the exterior staircase to the attic, opened the door, and knew he had found the source of the problem. For one, it smelled like shit. Second, there was a dead body of a man curled up on the floor. The body was of 45-year-old Dennis Crossman, a mentally challenged man known to walk the neighborhood and reported missing in OctoberOctober reviews. No one knows why Crossman was in the attic but no evidence of foul play has been discovered. The most foul, disgusting thing I have ever found in my house was a chick I had brought home the night before. I got her out of my house with a broom – swatting at her while yelling “Shoo!” “Shoo!” [Read more...]

Kenmore, Washington – Ever read a headline that just makes you read the article attached to it even though you just know it isn’t a real good idea? Yeah, this story was mine. I had just enjoyed some Dragon AgeDragon Age reviews and was eating a ham sandwich when I cam across an article about a woman whose insides were falling out of her through her vagina. Normally a story like that is one where I read it, gag, tell my co-workers about it and then try to scrub it out of my brain. But in this case the woman, 39-year-old Allison Henry, is being very candid about her medical condition and goes into full detail of what happened to her in hopes that she can help other women. The link to the full article is after the jump, but fellas, it includes things like this: “I was referred to a pelvic floor specialist. She took a look and said, ‘Holy crap — your vagina is falling out of your body, and it’s dragging your bladder and your rectum along with it!” So consider yourself warned. But to the ladies, I learned that 30 percent of you are gross and should really go see a goddamn doctor immediately. [Read more...]

Langley, British Columbia – To the men in Langley – might I suggest adding a protective cup to your daily wardrobe? Seems there is a psycho bitch running loose up there who may find enjoyment in random peter punting. Anthony Clark, 22, was walking around Langley last month, just minding his own business, when a strange woman on the street approached him and kicked him in the nads. Just like that. Poor guy didn’t realize the severity of the blow to the acorns until later that night when he “noticed something was missing.” The demented stranger kicked him hard enough to send one of the crown jewels straight up into his abdomen. Clark visited a specialist in the hopes that the beloved bollock could be coaxed out of his gut to continue life in it’s rightful spot. No such luck. [Read more...]

PELHAM, New Hampshire – No crime here, just a tragedy. 10-year-old Christian Gualtieri was killed while out trick-or-treating with his dad and friends on SaturdaySaturday reviews night. He had just left a residence and was heading towards another house when the freak accident occurred. As he was navigating around a parked car,  a rotted birch tree snapped and fell on him. “(It’s) just a freak accident. The wind was going pretty well and it appears the wind knocked down a rotted tree and just went down on the boy,” Pelham police Lt. Gary Fisher said. Christian went into cardiac arrest and was taken to Saints Memorial Medical Center in Lowell, Mass., where he died a short time later. The video report states the fourth-grader did not regain consciousness after being struck – so if there is any good to come out of such a tragic story, it is that he did not suffer. As for the surviving friends and family, I’m sure that will not be the case.  [Read more...]

GREGG COUNTY, Texas – On Sunday afternoon, some kids decided do something they had not done in quite some time – play on a trampoline and tree fort located in the woods behind their home. But once they got there, they were startled by a gruesome discovery.  Lying on the trampoline was the decomposed body of 48-year-old James Vickery. Longview Police are investigating, but foul play is not suspected. The remains have been sent to Tyler for an autopsy. “He probably just laid down and died,” said JusticeJustice reviews of the Peace Arthur Fort. No disrespect to the man’s family, but I bet he just inadvertently created an urban legend for that area, and I am sure his “ghost” will be haunting that patch of woods for years and years to come. [Read more...]

Marina del Rey, California 75-year-old Mostafa Zayed provided his neighborhood with an extra special HalloweenHalloween reviews display. I think you must be very careful when constructing an arrangement, only include things that might not spoil in the heat that Marina del Rey has this time of year. It was with this lack of foresight that triggered extra attention to Zayed’s 3rd story apartment balcony. I think that little presentation started to smell like something distinct…like a rotting corpse. That’s right. The clever little display neighbors had be either admiring or ignoring was none other than Mostafa Zayed with a hole shot through his eye, in plain view. Neighbors thought it was some sort of a gorey Halloween dummy slumped over a chair that had been up there since Monday and that’s why authorities weren’t called. Well, they weren’t too far off. Coroner’s officials were called to the apartment complex at 6:42 Thursday evening and a cause of death has not been announced. I’m betting it will include the hole through his head but I’m no expert. So fellow Demonites, when you’re walking your children house to house trick or treating, you might not want to get too close to those displays, unless you’re like me. I’ll be sure to give those mummy looking things an extra little sniff. Just consider it a little community service. [Read more...]

WASHINGTON - My ex-wife called me up and asked had I heard about this, but a 6-year-old boy named Falcon climbed into his father’s makeshift helium balloon that had been loosely tethered in their backyard. In what can only be an absolute nightmare for all involved, the damn thing became untethered. Now this poor kid is over Colorado at altitudes of up to 7,000 feet and drifting in winds approximately 20 miles an hour. They are unable to see inside the basket to see if the boy is ok or even still in the basket. But while I was typing this, it seems as if the balloon, after 2 hours in the air, finally reached the ground on its own and reports are that the boy is not in the basket. [Read more...]

Eunice, LA – I joke all the time about having bodies and various body parts hidden throughout and around my home. When the kids are looking for something, I tell ‘em to check in the closet, behind the severed head of that dude from the grocery store who cut in front of me. Or, under the bed, where the last kid that smarted off to me ended up. My favorite saying to someone who is getting on my nerves? “You’re about to become a funky smell coming from the attic.” But, if I were ever to discover an actual decomposing body rotting away somewhere underneath my house, I would be freaked beyond therapeutic help. The Hannon family thought that funky smell was coming from a dog that had up and died under the house. It wasn’t a dog. It was 43-year-old Duan Andrus. The question now is, how the hell did he get there? [Read more...]

PALM BAY, Fla. – And I thought MY Monday was bad. A mother, father and their 15-year-old son were attempting to install a 50-foot-long ham radio antenna in the dark when they lost control of the pole. The pole ended up hitting a 13,000 volt power line killing all three of them. The mother was found dead at the scene, the father and son died later at the hospital. The incident happened at around 8:40 pm at the home of the man’s mother. Their 17-year-old daughter was inside the home and a 17-year-old friend was on the roof at the time of the incident; neither were harmed. This is a really tragic story, and I am not adding insult to injury when I say this – but putting up a 50-foot-long pole at night? Let this be a lesson for any of you who were not aware of that being a really bad idea. [Read more...]

Caldwell, Idaho – When paramedics arrived back to Canyon County Paramedic Building from a bogus 911 call about a car accident, they were shocked to see 35-year-old Melissa Farris pinned under the garage door and unconscious. She later died of asphyxiation at Saint Alphonsus Regional Medical Center. No one knows exactly why Melissa, who once worked at the building as a paramedic from OctoberOctober reviews 2001 to December 2008, ended up under the garage door. But it has been revealed that the 911 call the team had responded to had been placed by Melissa herself in a successful attempt to lure her former employees out of the building. “It means for us that she was wanting to get into that ambulance bay when nobody was there. I think that is pretty clear,” Caldwell Police Chief Chris Allgood told the Idaho Press-Tribune. “It does look like she was trying to get people out of the building before she went in.” [Read more...]

SACRAMENTO – Ok, now this isn’t anything horrific or depressing, but it is something I need to address as it is very important to me. A dance routine was performed at Rio Americano High School that has some parents crying foul that the routine was too racy and sexually explicit. “It was not something I would want my son looking at. I didn’t find it to be appropriate or acceptable,” said parent P.J. Bascom. Now I have checked the video out, and you can to after the jump, and I can see some parents concerns. There are six gorgeous teen-aged girls dancing very badly yet in a very sexual manner. A lot of time is spent bent over and doing hip rotations. As a parent myself, I think that it is my duty to [Read more...]

MIAMI-DADE COUNTY, Fla – Miccosukee police responded to a call on the Miccosukee Indian Reservation about vehicles in the parking lot of a casino being broken into. One man was captured at the scene, but another ran away and dove into a retention pond located behind the establishment. If he knew it or not is not clear at this point, but this pond has live alligators in it with signs clearly stating that fact. After being informed of this, the man decided that the cops were probably a way better option than being eaten alive by alligators, so he began making his way back to shore. Unfortunately, the man met Poncho before he could reach safety. Poncho is the alligator nick-named by the locals who lives in the pond. WitnessesWitnesses reviews heard the man scream shortly after seeing Poncho before disappearing under the water. His body was later found by divers, 50 ft below the surface. He had several bite marks on his head. Poncho was captured and killed, per Florida law, and will be incinerated or buried after Miami-Dade medical examiner can check him out. [Read more...]

Commerce, TX – That’s it. I never thought this day would come, but, it has. I am marking the date and time on my calendar – as of 5:00 a.m. on September 28th, I have officially heard it all. After today, I highly doubt that I will ever be shocked or by surprised by anything. Officers were called to the Commerce Hardware and FeedFeed reviews on a report of an elderly man blowing an unknown substance into the face of a store employee. The employee told officers that she had reached out to take the man’s check and he blew some whitish, powdery, substance in her face. Undaunted, the cashier turned to the register to process the check and when she turned to face the man, he blew the powdery shit in her face again. (I can’t believe she didn’t freak out and scream “Anthrax!!!”) Anyway, the old guy stood around for a few minutes then left the store and the cashier called the cops. She gave a description of the man and the cops were on his trail. When they caught up with the guy, they realized the powdery substance was pepper. They also realized the guy has a rather odd fetish – he gets off on women sneezing. [Read more...]