This post is to inform everyone that my life is missing. I have no idea where the hell it went, but it got away from me at some point. I have a sneaking suspicion that it disappeared somewhere between the first article I published here at dreamindemon.com and my 1000th! That’s right you fucking ungrateful deviants. Morbid has posted OVER 1000 articles here at D’D as of today. If that is not one sad, sad statistic to brag about, I don’t know what is. So thanks to all of you readers and participants, it has been a very interesting experience. Hope the next 1000 are no different. And let me use this time to mention some quick site shit. First, let me remind you all of our Twitter, Myspace and Facebook accounts. Follow, Friend or whatever. Also, we got a site upgrade coming up along with some new faces joining on. Lastly, sorry for the auto Mucinex ad. Nothing I can do about it at the moment, but Jaded likes it (seriously) and does not want me to do a thing with it. She’s a freak like that. My hand is tired from patting myself on the back, so I will end this with a thanks to all of you who keep coming back to read this train wreck. But I think you all need professional help.

For clicking the Read More link, you will now be treated to one of the best jump roping routines I have seen.

Happy Saturday! We are still looking for writers. We got a ton of requests, but at this point we still have not signed on any people to the team. While we appreciate the enthusiasm of some of you, it really helps more if we could see a little of your work or at the very least, an example. Write something up, whether it is a news story or a review on anything you want and let us see it. If anyone contacted us about this and did not get a response, we apologize as we respond back to everyone – even those of you whose writing sucked worse than ours – but it is possible you slipped through the cracks or in the case of one person, your email provider is blocking emails from us.  So if you are interested in writing for free while selling your soul to Satan, let us know. Now, for some more details…

Here is a more outlined description of what we are looking for. If you plan on lowering your bar by writing for us, as we stated before, it helps to have some examples for us to look at. If you don’t have any, write something up. And remember, one well-written write-up don’t mean shit to us if you cannot reproduce it consistently. We are not looking for Pulitzer Prize winning material, people, we are looking for entertaining reads on a regular basis. If we want a guest blog, we will specifically ask for one (and speaking of, if any of you bloggers want to guest blog, contact us as well). So if you do not think you can produce content consistently, thanks but no thanks. Anyway, her we go:

We need a couple people to write up articles on news stories like the ones seen on the site. You read them, so this is pretty self-explanatory. Film reviews. These include any twisted stuff you want. Horror, thrillers, crime, dark comedies, etc. We had a number of people respond to this, but no one has worked out. Not just from the fact that their writing was worse than mine, but some just never contacted us again. Same with book reviewers. Lastly, people to writeup reviews on television shows. Weekly recaps and such.

What do we offer in return? Well, aside from getting your crap read by thousands of people, not much at this point. Not much of an incentive, I know. But we are looking for people who want to write stuff because they like to and are happy knowing it is getting read. If you are looking for monetary incentive we are not able to help you out there. At least, not at this point. Oh wait, if we dig you, you will get a nifty email address and the need to start practicing mumbling the name of the site you write for!

Friend: “You write reviews for a popular web site? Wow, which one? Screenrant? Bloody-Disgusting? ”

You (with hand covering mouth): “dreamindemon.com”

Friend: “Huh? I didn’t hear you, where was that? Did you say Dread Central?”

You (removing hand from mouth): “DREAMINDEMON.COM!”

Friend: “Oh, that depressing site that talks about baby rapers all day in between reviews of Syngenor and Who Can Kill A Child? Yeah. Um, good luck with that…“

Now come one, what could possibly be better than that? So if you are interested use the Contact Form. We ignore any other emails we receive other than the ones from the Contact Form. Now, on to some other site crap.

I am sure some of you have noticed a few additions to the site in way of features that you may or may not use or even care about so here is a real, quick rundown. One of the biggest questions is about the big, red bar at the bottom of the page. Trust me when I say that while initially aggravating, I have grown to love the damn thing. Not only can I get to my Twitter stuff, there are some other things there you Facebook users may like as well. There’s also easy access to our recent posts, pictures and even some games. I really suggest you take the time to at least check out each option once as you may find some of it useful.

Also placed sporadically throughout articles, you will see icons beside certain words. These are kind of self-explanatory once you hover over them. But basically they allow you to share your views on that particular subject via Blippr and have them added to anyone else who did the same. Finally, you can now rate the articles we write up. You will see the simple star rating system at the end of each article. We hope you will take a second to rate the articles honestly. They are collected and stored and help us determine how we are doing – even though I just write crap to make myself laugh – not you.

I know that some of you are missing my sexy voice, obvious by the zero amount of emails I have gotten about it from the ladies too upset to send me any telling me that, so we will be resuming podcasts very shortly. They will not be done in the same fashion as they were before, and while I may not be in all of them (don’t cry, please…it just makes it harder for you) they will be weekly and touch on key articles that generated the most discussion on the site for that week. Readers of the site will be urged to join in on these as well. We will have more information on that once we get it a little further along.

Finally, we are not quite sure how we are going to do this, but we would like to show off some of your writing and artwork. If any of you have any dark and twisted short stories you have written or artwork you would like shared, send it to us along with your info. We, the staff, wont review it as much as we will choose certain works to show off to our readers either on the upcoming site newsletter, our Facebook page, Myspace page or even Twitter. We have added a new subject line in our Contact Form just for this.

Other than that, it is business as usual around here. Thanks for continuing to stop by, thanks for the news tips, and thanks for the hate as well as the love. It’s been a crazy five years and we still enjoy providing all the stuff to really scare the shit out of you while satisfying some of you twisted individual’s morbid curiosity.

Well that was a bitch. But it is done. Aside for some tweaking here and there, this will be the new layout for ever and ever and ever. We have upgraded Wordpress to version 2.8. I have no clue exactly what that particular update does for you or me, but whatever, it is done. I am sure it will make all of our lives that much better. As for the graphical changes, we have made a ton. Too many to list, but I’m sure you will see them – since you have eyes and all. If you are blind, trust me when I say the site is absolutely orgasmic looking.

Over the course of the next few days, I will be arranging things here and there, and making a few boxes more dynamic. I had hoped to get that done today, but had no idea that what I thought would take  30 minutes would take a few hours. So, yeah. But basically, I will be making an effort to keep Friday the 13th ads from displaying on an article in which a family gets stabbed to death. But until then, it may happen on occasion.

Other than that, I will continue moving all crimecritics.com data over to the site while adding new at the same time. These reviews are coming from us, some members and a couple new faces we have met over the last month or so. If you find any issues, contact me or just comment here, but it wont be fixed tonight. I am DONE. Gonna go play some more Prototype.

Thanks, you sick fucks, for continuing to visit this train wreck on a daily basis. It has been a fun 4 years, and cannot wait to see what is gonna happen next around here.

I would like to interrupt this daily stream of filth and debauchery, and give everyone a bit of site news and update everyone on our current affairs. First off, Crimecritics.com will be closing down. But wait! Do not slit your wrists just yet, as there is a silver lining to that ominous, dark cloud. We will slowly but surely be importing the content from crimecritics to here. Like Jame ‘Buffalo Bill’ Gumb, Dreamindemon.com is morphing, changing into something beautiful but without the need for killing fat girls. So if you are interested in what the hell is going on, keep on reading. 

So this is the deal, we just do not have the time or resources to manage two sites. It makes it even more cumbersome when the second site pretty much deals with similar subject matter. See, reading all of this evil shit on a daily basis can get to a person. So to take a break from all the kid beating, eyeball eating and shit feeding, we like to relax with one of our favorite subjects. Crime!

But we are talking about the more entertaining variety. The crap in films, books and television. So as we had discussed doing a few years back, or staff (and some members) will be reviewing certain media. We plan on keeping this after hours and on weekends, with these particular posts not (normally) interrupting the steady stream of idiots Monday through Friday. HOWEVER, importing all of this crap from crimecritics – some very excellent crap – means that for a month or so you will see an influx of reviews coming in. We will try and keep this at night and on weekends, but hey, I ain’t promising ya’ anything. Besides, nothing wrong with a little brain bleach after reading about some dude raping a toddler.

So I am working on getting the Crime Screen and Cracked Spine pages fixed so that they will index reviewed media correctlyand there will be a new Review link at the top of the page (crimecritics will be removed later). There may be some slight design changes in the sidebars, and we are introducing a sponsor section for anyone who wants to include a text link ad of some sort. Hey, this damn thing ain’t cheap.

Now, if you have made it this far, imagine me giving you a big, tasty cookie. You deserve it. I would alos like to point out that we have decided to enter another blog contest. We won In Cold Blog’s True Crime Blog Award of 2009 (which we don’t brag about as often as we should), and now we have our sites set on Murray Newlands Blog Competition. So get over there and vote for us. Honestly? Not to concerned with winning it, but as I stated already, I love entering dreamindemon.com into blog contests. We are like Al Bundy at the opera. A whore with a tiara. A Baby Ruth floating in a swimming pool. This particular contest has us along side a Girl Scout site for God’s sake, and that’s just funny.

So that’s it. Nothing major, just a LOT of work for me and the rest of the crew. If you have any questions, pertaining to this post, feel free to ask.We feel this will introduce us to a much wider audience, bring in some fresh meat, and help keep some of us from suffering burn out from posting these horrendous stories every day. And honestly, when you look as good as we do, it would be a sin not to share.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot. Any one out there who watches crime television shows (Dexter, CSI, etc, etc) AND can write up quick, GOOD reviews of episodes, contact us (use the Contact Us link above) we would like to use your stuff for free. This goes for books and film as well.

Who said that? I dunno, and I don’t care. To prove this, I will be messing with the front page layout a bit as there a few things that are getting on my nerves. So if you see some changes or glitches today, it’s just me. I will be using twitter to broadcast any changes or problems so you are welcome to follow along there if you want. Image size and positioning will be forever altered, and the Featured Box above will be taking a nap for a bit while we do some image replacements.

I really should have cleaned the house, but I kept finding other things to do…like redesigning the site. It has been discussed for a bit, especially after we set up crimecritics. So I started working on it a bit tonight. There is still some work to do with the sidebars and all our old posts, but whatever. I like it. If you don’t, stuff it. HAR!

Hopefully this will help us streamline the page a bit, and keep things a little more uniform. I have a few things left to do, like re-styling the sidebars to the right, and doing a bit of background image re-tooling,  but I will get to them soon enough. Other than that, nothing has changed aside from the fact that we have a feature box active for stories we want to point out, we can get a couple more stories on the page, and we can finally get a little longer titles. I have a legend I am working on, but it isn’t anything really important, just something I want to add.

So if you see any graphical glitches, it is probably just me messing with the site. I figure it will be a few days before I get everything hashed out. I went through and re-formatted the last 20 posts to the new style, but older posts will look a little jacked until we get the re-configured. But we will get them all done eventually.

Thanks to all you sick, gluttons for punishment who continue to come back to this site. You really need help.

Please note! – I still have a LOT of work to do, but I have to turn the new theme on for a bit. Please read for more information at the bottom of this article.

In preparation for the site upgrade, certain plugins and features have been disabled. This is causing some functions of the site to not function correctly, including the paged comments and comment number feature. I could take the time to fix it, but the upgrade will do that for me, so for now…it will remain broke for a day or so. We had decided to upgrade the site until next weekend, but fuck it…no time like the present.

The look of the site will be changing as well, so if you notice any graphical glitches or anomalies, please know I am aware of them and I am working, in between blunts, to get them fixed. Bare with us over the next few days and the end result should be a sleeker, sexier Demon.

Aside from paged comments and page numbering being broken currently, so is the “click quote” function. Some of the sidebar content has been removed for now, and some ads are not displaying correctly (I know, I know, that really has you guys in an uproar…your ads are missing) but none of this will be fixed until later tonight. Once we change over to the new theme, I will then begin adding stuff back in. The end result will be� a less cluttered look and hopefully a faster running site. Once the theme is activated, I will remove this post and replace it with a new one, explaining some of the differences you may or may not notice, and what has been added or removed…or just moved to a different location.

Until I put up that new message, no need emailing me about something being fucked up. Wait until AFTER I think there isn’t anything fucked up. THEN contact me and let me know something is fucked up.

UPDATE – I still have a lot of work to do, but this will be the new layout. I know it may be a bit jarring at first, but I have used ti all day and I like it much, much better. As usual, hold off on any negative comments or letting me know things are broken. Trust me, I know and I am getting to them.

As for anyone who likes the old look better, great.

Next on my list (in no particular order):

• Getting logo back in header
• Add numbers to the comments
• Changing three icons at top-right to red
• Add icons for our Myspace, Twitter, etc pages.
• Get the friggin’ “recently commented on” plugin working

After those four, I will go on to four more…but those are the ones aggravating me the most. And before anyone tells me that the page loads red first, I know. I’ll get to it later on as it does not hinder anything…and besides, it reminds me of the elevator doors opening in The Shining…and that pleases me greatly.

Just in case anyone has actually noticed, YES the news articles are coming in slow at the moment. But before any of you haters start rejoicing, this does not mean we are slacking, truth be told, we have been seeing a mistress. We will be opening up a second site shortly. This has kept me, and everyone else here at D’D, kinda busy.

So, in the next couple of weeks we will make an official announcement, if some of you have not found it already. But until then, bare with us as we try to get one off the ground while still keeping this one going at the same time. The other site is crime based, but not true crime. Meaning, nothing has changed here. We will all be back in full force, much to the dismay of many out there, in short order.

In fact, it seems as if I may have actually *gasp* LEARNED a thing or two after running this site for the last few years. D’D will be getting a nice overhaul in the next month or two. Cleaner, faster, less bloated is what is in store. Content and attitude will remain intact.

Thanks for sticking around, and I think a lot of you will really dig what we have cooked up with the other site. If you have any questions about these details, feel free to ask.

Update 11-21-2008:

Ok, the new site is not officially open, but we are testing out server loads. So feel free to take a look at it in its current state over at CrimeCritics.com. While some of you may not have any use for it, it is a site dedicated to crime fiction in books, tv and film. Most of the content will be provided by other true crime bloggers, some you are already familiar with. Still work to do, so excuse the mess, but we would like to see how we do with actual traffic and see if this bitch is gonna suck more money out of my pocket.

Speaking of money. We are goofing with different ways to serve ads on this site. We us Ad-Brite. They are ranked one of the largest ad servicess right under Google Adsense (who wont touch us with a 100 foot pole). The banner ads don’t do us much good as the banners that generate the most revenue seem to be the ones that cause pop-ups for users. So, we turned on the full-page ad. It’s the one you may be used to on other sites…it comes up and you have the ability to skip the ad and continue on your merry way. If that option works well (and it is doing better than the banners) we will remove ALL banners from the site (but keep the Amazon ads in the forums) If, INSERT DIETY willing, crimecritics generates the revenue we are hoping for, we will remove every ad from D’D. So, again, give us some time to get that all situated and I apologize that it has to be done at all. It is a necessary evil.

In any event, D’D is getting an overhaul in January, some changes will start immediately. We want to trim the fat and get the site running a bit faster and be less…clunky. We will also be revamping are Cafepress line-up and even offering some other merchandise for both sites in the very near future. Well, that’s it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask and hey…you have a wonderful fucking day, ok?

Update: Well, we are back up and running. More details at end of article

Hang in there everyone. I know it has been a pain in the ass…trust me, it has been a bigger pain in my ass…but we finally have our new server. I will be moving the site over to it within the next day or so. This should resolve the slowness issues and disconnections we ALL have been experiencing.

Note from imp ~This part might be important if something goes to hell and the site crashes or goes down for a bit – Morbid is working on moving the entire site over the next 24-36 hours. This means taking the entire thing piece by piece and moving it from one server to the other. There is a very slim chance that the site might go a little wonky or go down entirely for a bit. If this happens, DO NOT PANIC. If you have Twitter, you can just follow us or me (impqueen) and we will update that way. Okay? Okay! On your marks… get set….. Morbid, get out of the pool….

Thanks for hanging in there. Not going to go into too many details, but in a nutshell, the site was just too much for the first two servers we tried. We are now on a dual Xeon server with a bunch of other hardware specifications that are not important. In any event, we are back up and running and will be making up for the last couple days. Thanks to Nexcess, including Brian and Greg, for sticking with me as I wringed my hands and pestered the shit out of them. They never lost their cool and I appreciate it. There may still be some weird things going on here and there and I will address them as I find them. Caching is a feature we are turning on to decrease the load on the Wordpress SQL database. This may or may not cause strange things to happen. We’ll see.

But it’s business as usual, so let’s get back to it. I’ll go into more detail in the new podcast that will be up tomorrow. Better? Sure. Stronger? Absolutely. Faster? We’ll find out soon enough.

Here, Later On – Well folks, it’s that time again. Time to upgrade the site. This doesn’t mean much to you front page dwellers we love so much, as it is just a security upgrade for Wordpress and will not be adding any new features that I know of. For all of you truly deviant members of the forums, this is a giant upgrade as it does add a lot of new features. I have started backing up everything just in case, as these upgrades are known to break shit from time to time.

Here is a brief list of just a few of the highlights included in the vBulletin 3.7 upgrade.

• Inline spam management & prevention
• Thread tagging
• Search cloud / tag cloud
• Thread prefixes
• Reciprocal friendships between users
• Public visitor messaging on profile pages with ‘conversation’ feature
• User picture galleries with user comment facility
• User-created social groups with invite only and moderated membership options
• Extended member profile pages
• Customizable member profile pages with admin-controlled styling abilities
• Inline editing of custom user profile fields
• Lightbox viewer for attached images
• Viewable and comparable history maintained for post edits
• Extended re-authentication for inline moderation actions
• Notices system for navigation bar
• Multiple human-verification systems including reCAPTCHA, image verification and Q/A
• User change history
• Social bookmarking integration

I expect no real issues with the Wordpress upgrade, but I highly expect issues with the forum, We will see, though. Luckily, no matter the problem, it is all fixable, it just may require time and me cussing. A lot. The schedule should go something like this:

12:00 a.m. EST
Front page closed and upgraded to Wordpress 2.5.1 -Done!

12:30 a.m. EST
Front page re-opened and Forums closed down and upgraded to vBulletin 3.7

God knows when (turns out, it was 3:30 a.m.)
I breathe a sigh of relief as the forums are brought back up and everything is running smoothly….or I cry out in anguish and curl up in a ball in the corner.

Yup. sounds about right. This post will be used for progress and such, in case anyone is actually up during that time. If ALL hell breaks loose, I will use Twitter to update everyone, so make sure you are following us. You can also use the Myspace page or email if you need to contact myself, imp or swivel if we are down.

Here, Now - Well, it has been a long time coming and I have avoided it more than safe sex. But the time has come to upgrade the forums. Unlike the main page here, this one may prove to be a bit tricky. So while the forums are down, you can use the comment section attached to this post to communicate or check the status of the upgrade.

Hopefully, all will go well and within an hour or so, we will have our vBulletin software upgraded to the latest version. Worst case scenario is that everything gets all fucked up, I get pissed and go get drunker than when I started the upgrade in the first place. So I advise that you go say whatever you need to say to all your friends, families and loved ones within the forums while you have a chance…because starting at 7 pm EST, you wont be able to.

Here, Now - As my recent groin shaving escapade has proven, I just cannot leave well enough alone. So as I sit here scratching my crotch area that now looks like I shoved a rabid badger in my underwear, I am going to make a few graphical changes to the front page that have needed to be done for quite a bit. Nothing major, but some of the header links will be removed as they are redundant, and one of the blogroll’s will be removed so that I can pimp OUR shit. Like I said. Nothing too major. So if you see any strange, graphical issues going on with the site this weekend, it’s just me fucking around.

Also, just a heads up We have a few announcements coming up in regards to some new additions coming that we are kicking around, including some compensation for you kickass members who flood out forums with all the latest true crime news. We also have not forgotten about the free merchandise we told you guys about earlier and will address that fairly soon as well. Well, I better quit typing all of this bullshit and get to work. If you have any questions regrading any of this, feel free.

The Demon is dead. Long live the Demon!

Here, Now – Sorry for the outage, folks. But here is some good news. I figured it would be a good time to mention that you now have editing capabilities. After commenting, you have 2 minutes to fix whatever dumbass mistakes you may have made. I never misspell anything, so I didn’t need this feature, but since I am an extremely nice guy, I figured I would give you the ability. Oh yeah, it is our 4 year anniversary.

We also have a forum update for those of you who use it. The member profiles are now MySpacey. You have the ability to add friends, comment on other members profiles who can also leave comments on your profile as well. You can even add a Youtube video and an aggravating song to make visitor to your profile listen to! Why? Because I am awesome and your not-so-humble servant. That’s why.

You can read about the Member Profile update in the official thread, located here.

And in true Dreamin’ Demon style, I only realized it was our 4 year anniversary after I forgot to re-register the domain name…causing a shitload of you to go into shock and suffer from withdrawal symptoms that included the shakes, nausea and rectal bleeding. We have all of that resolved now, and I apologize. Because of any discomfort I may have caused keeping you away from us for those long, dark hours, we have something coming up that should help alleviate some of that pain and turn some of you into walking advertisements for the site. Some of you wont even be paying for it.

I was going to go into a long speech on how fun the last four years have been, but I’ll save you all the drivel. But I would like to thank all of you who contribute to the site on a regular basis whether by posting or just lurking, and all of our outstanding members and volunteer staff who I will not name specifically because I always forget people and then I have to smooth things over with sex and it gets quite tiring, especially when I get the occasional guy.

I wish we didn’t have all of the assholes we report on everyday, but I don’t think that will ever happen. Here is to another 4 years of bringing the roaches into the light.

Here, Now – As some of you may know already, the site does have a message board. It is seperate from our Wordpress blog and requires a seperate registration, but it does have a lot to offer to make it worth your while. It has been restructured to be geared more towards you true crime loving people like myself. It is also set up for you like-minded people to discuss just about anything under the sun. There is also a chat room (which some of you horny people used last night) and some other features you may be interested in EVEN IF you do not plan on using it 100 percent. So do yourself a big favor, and read on…

We now have a section in the forums designed specifically for you, the reader, to submit you own articles that you would like to see covered. We are always looking for people to help out with the site, so if you would like to see your story on the front page, show us what you can do. But if you simply want us to be aware of a story, that is fine by us. Simply post a link with a brief summary and me or Imp may write it up for the front page. But that’s not all, we also have a section for missing persons we may have missed, and a section for you guys to post something we don’t put on the front page, and that is crime outside the US. In fact, if it is crime related, I think we have a section for it. This includes an entire section dedicated to Crime in Entertainment.

That’s it. Any more information yo may want about the forums can be found inside them. There is just too much stuff to put all in this post. We are looking for a couple people who are familiar with forums such as ours, to help out with it. Use the Contact Form if you may be interested. So, hope to see you there, even if you just plan on lurking. If you have ANY questions regarding the forums, feel free to ask me here, email me or Imp or even use the Shoutbox inside. So come on and sign up. It’s painless, fun, and can make parts of your anatomy bigger. Just ask the members who have been using it for years.

We have a few things in store for the site, so be sure to stick around as I think you are gonna like them. Also…you wont get this much from me, at least not by way of verbal, but thanks to all of you new people who make this front page interesting, and all you forum rats, Shout Box Whores and Chat Room Horndogs that have kept things limping along as well. You guys using these things are what fuel us to keep it going. But I’ll never admit to saying that again, as I will just say someone else typed it. I am in too much love with myself to actually like anyone else.

For those of you not out of town doing the family thing, I will be doing some maintenance work on the site and introducing some new features that should make posting to articles a lot easier. So if you notice any issues with the site over the course of the day, no worries, it’s just me. I will use this article to keep you informed of what changes have been made successfully.

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