It all started on July 4, when Cervellino’s wife contacted police after finding a toolbox in their home with marijuana and an assortment of pills hidden inside. She told police she snatched the drugs and took photos of the items with her cell phone before stashing them in her bedroom.
When police arrived at the couple’s home, the toolbox and the alleged drug stash were nowhere to be found. The woman’s pictures weren’t going to be enough to make a case, so no arrest was made.
Later that day, the woman claims, she returned home to find a watermelon on the kitchen counter with a butcher knife sticking out of it. Just moments later, she said, her husband walked into the kitchen and, without saying a word, began carving the melon in what she called a passive-aggressive and menacing manner. She whipped out her cell phone again and took pictures of the knife, which she later showed to police.…
According to police, Travis Schelling thought other men were sending direct messages to his girlfriend on Facebook anytime one of her friend’s posts popped up on her feed. And every time he read one of those messages, he hit her. In addition to the hitting, police say, Schelling also violently shook the woman by her hair, ripping it out in clumps. It is believed that Schelling also sexually assaulted her.
Police say he held his girlfriend captive from about 11:30 Friday night to 3:00 Saturday morning, threatening to kill her, her family and her friends if she dared alert authorities. The woman finally convinced Schelling that she wasn’t going to tell, and he released her at about noon on Saturday.
Police said the victim had bruising on her face, arms, legs and a cut and swollen lip when she reported the incident.
Schelling has been booked on charges of kidnapping, sexual abuse, aggravated assault, threatening and intimidation.…
Farmington, ME — Meet 43 year old Robert Parker Jr., the man with a face I dearly want to punch with some especially nasty brass knuckles. If his face alone doesn’t inspire the same in you, allow me to add some details that will surely push you there, if not further.
On September 25, 2013, Mr. Please-Throat-Punch-Me-Repeatedly, was arrested two days after Deputy Kevin Hartley of the Franklin County Sheriff’s Department, was sent to investigate a complaint regarding his handing out cigarettes to two girls under the age of 15. (Can you say, “grooming”? I bet you can!) One source indicates that he forced each of the girls to smoke around 50 cigarettes, which just seems like a waste of cigarettes to me.
After being arraigned, he was released on a pretrial contract that same day. I bet he was really relieved, but not for long.
The following day, Deputy Hartley received a new complaint. The ever charming Mr. Parker was apparently sending some rather impolite messages to the family of one of the girls involved in the cigarette charges, threatening to kill her if she told anyone about his disgusting, pervy ways.…
Daly City, CA — A 26-year-old man accused of “viciously” biting his parents and threatening to kill them and burn their home down during an argument over a visit with the family cat, has pleaded not guilty to felonious assault.
After returning home from a Thanksgiving trip Saturday, Yevgeniy Bolshakov asked his parents if he could see the family cat, as he had missed the evil fucking creature while he was away. His parents denied his request, stating that the cat had recently undergone surgery and just wasn’t up to receiving visitors. Primadonna….
And that’s about the time Bolshakov lost his shit.
He reportedly lashed out at his father, punching him in the head several times before biting a chunk of meat out of the 64-year-old man’s arm. He also bit the man on the elbow and the chin. When mom tried to intervene, the 54-year-old woman got popped upside the head and bitten on hand, claim authorities.
Bolshakov was promptly carted off to jail, allegedly declaring on the way that he wanted to kill both of his parents and burn their apartment down.…
NEW BRAUNFELS, TX – A teen in Texas was charged with making terroristic threats after he made a joke on Facebook regarding shooting schoolkids and eating their hearts.
Back in February, 18-year-old Justin Carter was on Facebook arguing with someone after a game of League of Legends, an online multiplayer game. After the other person called Justin insane, he replied “Oh yeah, I’m real messed up in the head, I’m going to go shoot up a school full of kids and eat their still, beating hearts.” He then followed that with “lol” and “jk”.
Unfortunately for Justin, a woman in Canada saw the post and was not amused. After doing a search on Justin and seeing that he lived close to an elementary school, she contacted police. The next month, Justin was arrested and charged with making a terroristic threat. He’s been in jail since March 27 and is now facing a possible eight years in prison if convicted.
Justin’s father is trying to make people aware of what his son is going through while also hoping it serves as a warning to others.…
U.S. District Judge Marco A. Hernandez, who sent Barnett back to the Oregon State Penitentiary with the extra time, feels Barnett “…has significant personality issues that remain unresolved.” Assistant U.S. Attorney John N. Parmley, a prosecutor called in from San Diego after the previous prosecutor fell victim to Barnett’s mischief, said of Barnett “The longer he stays in a controlled environment, the safer society will be.”
So what kind of douche-devilry draws such dire damnation? What manner of malevolence manifests such maligning? Threatening letters, anthrax hoaxes and poop… not necessarily in that order. Oh, and there’s even a torrid love affair with a not-really-hot-white-supremacist-spree-killer in there for you women folk.
Barnett’s streak starts back in 2008. Barnett, already in jail, mailed threatening letters to Washington County Sheriff Rob Gordon and three of his deputies. In August 2011, Barnett was moved to Portland’s Justice Center Jail, where he allegedly hurled a mixture of urine and feces at the face of Multnomah County Sheriff’s Deputy Brett S.…
Petaluma, CA – Patrons at a Petaluma Denny’s Restaurant learned that not everyone wants to hear your table talk after a man displeased with their discussion brandished a firearm.
Early Sunday morning, a group of friends were minding their own business just having some greasy diner fare and engaging in what was purportedly a “disrespectful” conversation. That is, according to one Thomas Hart, a 35-year-old Sunnyale man.
No details as to what was being discussed at said table, but it apparently wasn’t sitting right with Thomas who walked up to the group and laid down a gun and large knife on their table. He reportedly then told the diners their gab was disrespectful, picked up his weapons, and then took off like a prom dress.
Police responded to the call and with the help of a K9 unit, found Hart in a nearby motel parking lot in possession of a gun and large knife. The perpetrators of the mysterious conversation positively identified Hart and he was subsequently booked in the Sonoma County jail on suspicion of exhibition of a firearm and possession of drug paraphernalia.…
Oklahoma – Per a reader request that we report on more dildos, Ralph Polnicky says that after getting into an argument with a Tractor Supply Company employee, he received a large dildo in the mail with the words “Tractor Supply. Don’t Come Back,” and “Ralph is a Dick,” written in black.
Polnicky says that last year he went to the Tractor Supply Company in October of last year to complain about how long it took them to order a spool of bungee cord he’d ordered. An argument ensued between him and an employee inside the store and Polnicky claims that as he was leaving, a female employee shouted at him, “Don’t come back.”
Four months later, Polnicky gets a package in the mail that contained an 8-inch dildo with the words “Ralph Is A Dick,” “From the Tractor Supply,” and “Don’t Come Back” written on the sides. “We were aghast, I mean, we were absolutely shocked by what’s in this box,” Polnicky said about himself and his wife.
While it’s not a crime to send a sex toy in the mail, it could be possible to sue employer Tractor Supply for emotional damages.…
According to the police report, Valerie Nile was hanging out at her neighbor’s trailer, drinking, when the discussion took a turn for the dirty.
Two of the three needed for a threesome must have sobered up a bit because it didn’t happen.
This displeased Valerie. Police say it was then that she walked into the neighbor’s kitchen and armed herself with three knives – she slipped a large kitchen knife into her waistband, and stashed two smaller knives in her socks. Then, she apparently started yelling, threatening, terrorizing and stuff.
In fear for his life, the victim, 56-year-old Edward Sabatino, beat feet out of the trailer and called 911.
When officers arrived on scene, they found Sabatino’s female roommate, 30-year-old Shanna Chickering, snoozing on the couch. When questioned about the knives and the threats and the other craziness, she stated that she did not witness the incident because she was, like, asleep.…
Walton, NY — A 27-year-old woman has been accused of making a series of posts on Facebook that threatened children and their families. Keep reading, as you won’t believe the level of stupidity this woman possesses.
Over the weekend, several Walton children and teenagers were getting death threats and pornography from an individual using various Facebook accounts (including this one and this one). The profiles used the same picture of two little girls that they stated they wanted to kill, as well as images of dead children tagged with the names of local Walton youth.
The person was also hacking into other Walton residents’ Facebook accounts to post even more harassing messages to the children, even going as far as asking if they should duplicate the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings.
This prompted police to monitor the local schools and for school administrators to cancel all outside school activities. They also informed parents the school doors would be locked during the day and that the staff had been made aware of the situation.…
Gloria Pratt, 53, reportedly called police to complain that she and her husband of two years were no longer having sex and she was upset, dammit.
When police arrived at the home that evening, they met with an allegedly intoxicated Pratt, who repeated the complaint. I’m guessing she didn’t explain the reasoning behind the man’s refusal to give her dick.
It was quite apparent that a crime had not been committed by either party, so the officers wished the couple good luck and left the home.
About a minute later, the responding officers glanced at the couple’s living room window and witnessed Pratt screaming “do something!” at her husband as he reclined on the couch.
According to police, Pratt then yelled, “I’m going to kill you!” before walking off to the kitchen. You know, where the pointy and poisony shit is stored….
The officers then had reason to arrest Pratt – they knocked on the couple’s door and detained her.…
Meet Deni Noa. He reportedly celebrated the New Year by punching some random female driver in the eye (one of Morbid’s sick fantasies), getting nekkid, and fighting with police.
Yep, according to police, Noa approached a vehicle stopped at a red light, reached inside the window, and popped the female behind the wheel before disappearing into the night. Presumably while cackling maniacally and drooling. Maybe even skipping….
As an officer was taking the woman’s statement, he heard a report over the radio about a man lying on a roadway nearby.
The officer responding to that call reported seeing a man laying on the street all nekkid and stuff. He also reported seeing two other men at the scene… they were apparently struggling with the nekkid guy and trying to stuff him in the trunk of their car.
Turns out the two other men on the scene were Noa’s brothers. Know why they were trying to stuff Noa in the trunk?…
KEARNS, UT – An 11-year-old boy will face charges after he brought a .22 caliber handgun to school and threatened to kill a classmate.
The unidentified sixth-grader at West Kearns Elementary reportedly pulled the gun from his backpack during morning recess. He showed the gun off to classmates, telling them his parents had encouraged him to bring the gun in light of the Sandy Hook shootings.
When a fellow student threatened to tell on him, the boy allegedly aimed the gun at her head then threatened to kill her if she didn’t keep yer trap shut.
“He pulled out a gun and he put it to my head — me and my friend — (and) said he was going to kill us,” Isabelle Rios said. “I told him I was going to tell, but he said, ‘If you tell, I’m going to kill you.'”
So Isabelle kept her mouth shut until around 3:00 that afternoon when she finally told a teacher. That teacher immediately took the boy into physical custody and retrieved the unloaded gun, along with some ammo, from the boy’s back pack. …
Salt Lake City, UT – David Charles Baker, 47, surrendered to police while wearing a black sequined mini-dress after a stand-off in which he had barricaded himself in his home and claimed his front yard was wired with explosives.
Neighbors had been reporting Baker’s erratic behavior for a few months. Police describe him as a mentally unstable man with training in explosives; a winning combination in my book. Baker is also known for posting nonsensical rants on YouTube like this one, claiming to be speaking directly with God. Police interaction with Baker had been getting increasingly antagonistic with each visit, causing his house to be flagged as one that should not be visited by a lone officer.
An interesting profile of Baker with more information than I feel it’s practical to include in this article can be read here.
At about 2:30 PM on Sunday, Baker reportedly went to a friend’s house and engaged him in a face-to-face confrontation. As he left, he placed a package in the man’s driveway and told him that its contents could cause his house to catch on fire.…
AURORA, CO – Police have arrested a man who they say threatened to shoot Best Buy employees and blow up the store after they sold out of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, a video game he had pre-ordered earlier that day.
Witnesses say Lomorin Sar, a 31-year-old man-child, became irate when he showed up to Best Buy to pick up his copy of the popular game shortly after midnight on Tuesday and was told they no longer had any in stock.
Understandably disappointed, Sar allegedly began threatening the employees, asking when they got off work so that he could shoot them in the parking lot. Witnesses say that before Sar left the store, he also threatened to blow it up.
Police were called and Sar was pulled over shortly afterwards. He was issued a summons alleging misdemeanor disorderly conduct. Someone claiming to be him showed up in the comments section of another article, claiming the news had put a slant on the events.
I will never understand how grown men can stand in line to buy a damn video game.…
The kid apparently watched as 46-year-old Dennis Sullivan pushed his mother around, hitting and head-butting her, eventually knocking her on her ass. As the kid was helping his mother off the floor, she told him beat feet out of the house and away from Sullivan.
The kid headed out to the garage to grab his bike, but as he was leaving, he could hear Sullivan hitting his mother, so he grabbed a shovel instead.
Sullivan reportedly stormed out of the house, screaming and cussing at the child. The douche even made fun of the kid’s dad, who had just recently passed away. The big, dumb bully then charged at the kid, and the kid swung. After making contact with Sullivan’s face, the boy dropped the shovel and ran to his grandfather’s house across the street. He later told police he just wanted to scare Sullivan so he’d stop hitting his mother.…
MORRISTOWN, Tenn. — Police have arrested a teen’s mom after they she assisted her son in calling in a bomb threat to Morristown-Hamblen High School East.
Police have charged 40-year-old Teressa Williams with criminal responsibility after they say she used a convenience store pay phone to call in the threat to her 16-year-old son’s high school after he lost an appeal to his recent expulsion.
Charges are also waiting for Williams’ son, but police have not been able to locate him.
“We are always going to take these threats seriously and it is our job to keep the students as safe as possible,” MPD Chief Roger Overholt stated. “I hope the individuals involved in this crime will see the danger that they have placed responding agencies in and the misuse of emergency resources.”
For her actions, Williams is being held in jail on a $25,000 bond.
Anyone out there know why the son got expelled from the high school, please feel free to post. I am curious.…
Tampa, Florida — Tampa police have arrested a teenager they say was planning to blow up the school that had expelled him last year.
Police were given information that 17-year-old Jared Cano was planning to set off explosives at Freedom High on the first day of school in hopes of killing more people than Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold did at Columbine..
After getting permission from his mother, a math teacher at Riverview High School, they went inside Cano’s home and found that he may not have been bullshitting. Inside the home they retrieved shrapnel, plastic tubing, timing and fuse devices to make pipe bombs and a manifesto that outlined a minute-by-minute plan that named specific administrators to be killed and where he would place the bombs to get the most bang for his buck.
Cano was arrested and faces charges of possessing bomb-making materials and threatening to throw, project, place or discharge a destructive device. He was also charged with cultivating marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and possessing marijuana after police found a marijuana grow operation in his room.…