LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - Police went to the home of 88-year-old Sina Harris to perform a welfare check. They were greeted by her son, 52-year-old Julius Harris – who had a gun to his head. This led to a 9 hour stand-off ending with Harris finally surrendering to police. Once in the home, they located Sina Harris. Or rather her corpse. Harris had been living with it ever since she died in her bed over 6-months ago. An autopsy report states she probably died from natural causes, but her son decided not to report her passing away to anyone so he could continue to live off her. “He continued to write checks and cash checks she was receiving from different agencies and companies,” said Louisville Metro Police Department Lt. Barry Wilkerson. Julius Harris now faces two felony charges, one for abusing a corpse and another for theft by deception. No he is looking at another 10 years of free room and board, but this time on Kentuckian’s dime. While I cannot imagine living with a corpse, I sure know what it is like having sex with one. I was married to her for 3 years! Ba-dum Tsssh! [Read more...]

BEDFORD, Pennsylvania - Fifty-six-year-old Evelyn Border and her 35-year-old daughter, Tina Griekspoor, stole two Wal-mart gift cards from a 9-year-old girl who had set them down while an employee helped her. One was for $50, the other for $30. They then attempted to use them twice before being caught. Their punishment for their crime? They had to stand outside the courthouse for 4 1/2 hours Tuesday each holding signs that read: “I stole from a 9-year-old girl on her birthday! Don’t steal or this could happen to you!” Because they did this, Bedford County District Attorney Bill Higgins says he’ll ask for probation instead of jail when they plead guilty to the theft. [Read more...]

Fort Worth, TX – People will never cease to amaze me. I know I’ve said it before, and I’m gonna say it again – just when I think I’ve seen it all, heard it all, read it all – along comes another story that makes me say, “What. The. Hell.” Last Monday, a 77-year-old woman was roused from her slumber by the sound of her doorbell ringing at about 1:30 a.m. When she got to the door, the person on the other side forced his way in by kicking it in. Once inside, the man grabbed the woman by the arm, forced her into a chair, and proceeded to jack off in front of her. Then the fucker demanded that the woman get in the kitchen and make him a sammich. Oh no he didn’t! [Read more...]

Dallas, Texas – WomenWomen reviews in the Turtle Creek and Oak Lawn area are being told to keep your eyes peeled for any suspicious behavior as a very brazen robber has now been linked to five attacks on females. Their concern is that the guy is getting bolder with every consecutive attack. Police say that the man cases parking lots surprising his targets as they are distracted. Using a gun, he makes the victim take him to ATM’s. In two cases, he has broken into the victims’ homes. An accomplice held one victim at the home while he took the other to an ATM. He made one victim strip naked and get in her closet as he went through her apartment, stealing small electronics and jewelry. So ladies, keep your eyes peeled. It is very important that while you are carrying that bag of shoes while talking on the cell phone about Alicia’s ugly new hairstyle that you are constantly aware of your surroundings! [Read more...]

Sheboygan, Wisconsin – I’m not sure how many of you watch COPS or not, but for those of you who do, it is a well known fact that police do not give a shit about your stage of dress (or undress) when they haul your ass to jail. If they decide to get your naked ass a pair of shorts or not is really depending on how big of an asshole you are, as well as the cop you asking to get them. Julia Laack, 36, found this out when she attempted to disrobe to keep cops from taking her to jail after she got busted for shoplifting beef jerky and a lighter from a gas station. But naked or not, JuliaJulia reviews was not going without a fight. [Read more...]

Indianapolis – 6-month-old Lanny James, also known as LJ, had a stroke before he was born. DoctorsDoctors reviews said he will probably not survive another year. His mother, Margaret Tompkins, had to take a leave from her job to take care of him and the family did not have the money for a funeral. So last month, the owners of a Shell gas station agreed to put out a donation bucket to help pay for it. But on one SaturdaySaturday reviews, a blond woman moved the bucket, with an estimated $200, out of view of the cashier and then left with it. On Tuesday, that blond piece of shit was arrested. [Read more...]

MIAMI-DADE COUNTY, Fla – Miccosukee police responded to a call on the Miccosukee Indian Reservation about vehicles in the parking lot of a casino being broken into. One man was captured at the scene, but another ran away and dove into a retention pond located behind the establishment. If he knew it or not is not clear at this point, but this pond has live alligators in it with signs clearly stating that fact. After being informed of this, the man decided that the cops were probably a way better option than being eaten alive by alligators, so he began making his way back to shore. Unfortunately, the man met Poncho before he could reach safety. Poncho is the alligator nick-named by the locals who lives in the pond. WitnessesWitnesses reviews heard the man scream shortly after seeing Poncho before disappearing under the water. His body was later found by divers, 50 ft below the surface. He had several bite marks on his head. Poncho was captured and killed, per Florida law, and will be incinerated or buried after Miami-Dade medical examiner can check him out. [Read more...]

Uniontown, Pennsylvania How about this? You’re an 80-year-old man having problems with the ATM. It happens, right? The sun is shining on the screen – hell, I have trouble. And lucky for this elderly gentleman, Shannon Fisher, a cute little 25-year-old, offered her assistance. Once the machine spit out Ike Rogers $500 bucks, his heroine allegedly took the money and ran. How rude, robbing a poor old man of his retirement money. But luck was really on Mr. Roger’s side as witnesses chased her down, actually jumping out of vehicles to head her off, when she disappeared inside a building. The police were called and she was arrested. But hey, where did that money go? They checked her pockets and stuff… According to the criminal complaint, police retrieved $240 and a half of a $20 dollar bill from her vagina during the initial search and after she used the restroom, the rest of the money was retrieved. Do the young kids not know money goes in the bra? And where the hell is the other half of the $20? Police are quite baffled about how she stuffed the money so quickly. I think she practices A LOT. She was charged with robbery, theft, and receiving stolen property. Anyway, too bad Mr. Rogers didn’t smell anything fishy at first. I’m sure he does now. [Read more...]

BARNESVILLE, Ohio – When these two kids decided to raise some hell, they did it right. I am surprised they actually were able to get away with as much as they did without anyone noticing and that it seems as if they have almost no supervision. Police pulled over a Pontiac Grand Am at around 3 a.m. FridayFriday reviews and found the 12-year-old boy behind the wheel with his 8-year-old brother in the stolen car. After questioning the boys, they readily gave the officer a laundry list of unlawful behavior they had been up to over the last 24 hours. [Read more...]

Lincoln, NE – It’s a good thing that most pervs are stoopid. If they excelled at their ‘craft,’ they might get away with their pervy shenanigans forever and no one would be the wiser. Gregory Tyrrell? Luckily, he’s one of the stupid ones. Gregory, a level-three sex offender who has spent years behind bars for burglary and sexual assault, is accused of walking into the woman’s locker room at a couple of different health clubs on more than one occasion. Now, he didn’t just breeze right through the locker room door to get an eyeful – he was way too sneaky for that. What he did, and bear with me while I laugh my ass off, was wrap himself up in towels, from his head to his knees with just his eyes visible, and he’d saunter into the locker room like that. Well now, that wouldn’t look suspicious at all, would it? The dude is 6′2″ and 170 pounds with hairy man knees. He seriously thought no one would catch on? Please. [Read more...]

SCITUATE, Mass – A woman brings a 16-year-old boy to the South Shore Hospital emergency room. He is suffering from a gunshot to the leg. Hospital officials contact the Weymouth police and the woman, 55-year-old Louellyn Lambros, tells them that the 16-year-old and her son were at her home when they heard noises in the backyard. When they all went to investigate, an intruder shot the teen in the leg through an open window. Police begin their investigation, and quickly realize that the story was bullshit. The true story, it turns out, just doesn’t get any dumber. It involves a stolen gun, a botched game of Russian Roulette, and a mother as retarded as her son. [Read more...]

Wilmington, DE – Just when you think you’ve heard it all, along comes an asshat like Walter Brown.  No, he didn’t shake a baby, fuck an animal or beat an old woman.  As a matter of fact, what he did is pretty tame compared to most front pagers on the Demon  – though it will probably get him just as much attention from his fellow inmates.  Brown here is a purse snatcher.  What makes this purse snatcher newsworthy?  His victim was a 3 year old girl.  That, my friends, is a crackhead move if I’ve ever seen one.
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Fond du Lac, WI – You may recall a story I posted last week about the scorned women armed with Krazy Glue and a plan. At the time, I had no further information on the victim, his name withheld because he was the victim of a sexual assault. Well, as luck would have it, this whole crazy quadrangle is back in the news again. So now, we get a peek at the object of the womens’ affections – Donessa Davis Sr. He gets his own little spot on the Dreamin’ Demon because he is every bit the wacko those women are – and then some. After the melee from the penis gluing incident died down, Donessa was arrested on charges of child abuse, theft, and harassment. Hell, I’m not sure I even know where to begin. [Read more...]

Paducah, KY- Like many parents, it just kills me when my kids get sick. Every time, I wish I could whip out a magic wand and make their aches and pains disappear. I cannot even begin to imagine the enormous amount of helplessness some parents feel when they learn their child has a tragic illness and may die. The courage and strength it takes for them to somehow get through each day without breaking down amazes me. In January, Karen Clark informed a news crew at the Ronald McDonald House at Kosair Children’s Hospital that her 12-year old daughter was dying of cancer. “We’ve been here at least every month since last January,” said Karen Clark to the reporter. “It’s been a hard road but she’s making it. She’sShe reviews very positive so we do okay with it.” [Read more...]