Woody Duclos and Bryant Jones

You can watch some video here, and see Diane Cho give an re-enactment of the man finding the pill in his sandwich while putting salt and pepper on it. It’s enthralling. Burger King released this statement:

“Food safety is non-negotiable at BURGER KING® restaurants. This franchise restaurant, which is independently owned and operated, has terminated the two employees involved and is working with the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office on this investigation.”

Man, I have soooo many stories about fast food and the things employees do to the food, but whatever. I still eat it. I know for a fact that if you eat fast food, or any food you do not prepare yourself, your odds of eating someone else’s saliva, pubic hair or semen have increased dramatically.

So come on, share your fast food horror stories! I’ll start. I knew a group of guys who used to collectively spit their tobacco spit into a vat of tomato sauce used to make the pizzas at a pizza buffet establishment.

Robbin Banister, Clifford Webber, and Jerry Hemmerling

Enter the brainless dolt. On the night of June 13, Banister met up with her friend, Jerry Hemmerling, and told him a man had stabbed someone at her home. Hemmerling followed Banister back to her residence and noticed a foul stench coming from within. Once inside, Banister showed Hemmerling the body wrapped in a blue plastic sheet. She then covered it with a blanket and asked Hemmerling to help her move the body to an abandoned house next door. While dragging the badly decomposed body to its new destination, Hemmerling saw an arm that appeared black in color and assumed the corpse was a black man. I know, I know. When I first read this, I thought there’s no way this guy can really be this dumb. Well, that was until I seen his mugshot. I laughed so hard, I pissed my pants.

Hemmerling  didn’t stay quiet for long. A few days later he went to police and reported the body. On June 16, investiagtors suffered in 90 degree heat as they removed Webber’s body from the abandoned home. When they first questioned Banister about her boyfriend’s murder, she said a co-worker of Webber, Jerry Hemmerling, and another unidentified man had been at their residence on June 13. During an argument over beer, the co-worker stabbed Webber in the chest and fled. Banister said she chased after the man, but couldn’t catch him. Banister said when she returned to the house, Webber stumbled, then fell and kept asking for her to help him. His last words to her were, “I love you.”

Investigators learned the man Banister identified as the killer had an alibi for that night and he also suffers from medical conditions which prevent him from running. The other man also had an alibi for that evening and said he had not seen Banister that weekend. After numerous inconsistencies with her story, Robbin Banister, 45, was charged with murder, two counts of tampering with evidence and conspiracy to tamper with evidence. Banister has a criminal record for battery and battery against household members. In August 2008, she was charged with misdemeanor assault on a peace officer and evading arrest. That case is pending an evaluation to determine her competency to stand trial. Jerry Hemmerling, 28, was arrested for charges of tampering with evidence and conspiracy to tamper with evidence and he is being held on $15,000 bond.

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Emily and Dakota McDonald

On those tapes, Emily McDonald can be seen removing shit from her daughter’s diaper and smearing on the child’s Central Ventricular Line cap; that line goes directly into the girl’s bloodstream. Nice, mom. Real fucking nice. When questioned by detectives at the hospital, Emily admitted to wiping feces on the cap on five separate occasions, between April 15 and May 31, at the hospital. Did she know that feces in the bloodstream would make her daughter sick? Yes, she did. Was she aware that her actions could lead to the death of her child? Yep, she sure was.

Emily McDonald, 23, was arrested and charged with first-degree injury to a child, a felony. If convicted, she could face life in prison. Emily was released on $100,000 bond on Wednesday. She must wear an electronic monitoring device and an emergency protective order has been issued to keep her away from all three of her children. Comments from her attorney, Bob Phillips, made me LOFL, especially this one: “I believe that as the facts unfold, the impression people have of this young woman will change for the better.” Sure…whatever helps you sleep at night, Bill.

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Joshua Ouzts

On Sunday afternoon, Joshua broke into his ex-girlfriend’s house, called her up on the phone, and told her where he was. When she arrived at her home, the two began arguing. Joshua threw a bag of chips at her and then punched her in the face. He choked her until she lost consciousness. He picked her up, threw her on the couch, and whipped out his little willy and started beating on that. Yes, he paused in the middle of all the mayhem to polish his pickle. Dude. WTH? He wasn’t finished with her yet…he took her into her bedroom where he knelt on her while he delivered a few more blows. Spent, he then laid across her body, making it difficult for her to breathe. Then, he had the nerve to demand that she leave with him. Coming to her senses, the girl fled to a neighbor’s home to call 911. To add insult to injury, Joshua stole her car. Hmmm…wonder why they broke up in the first place?

Joshua Ouzts, 35, was arrested early Monday morning and charged with burglary with battery, aggravated assault, grand theft of a motor vehicle, false imprisonment, tampering with a witness and exposure of sexual organs. He is being held without bond. This guy is disturbing…just reading about his violent escapade gave me the creeps. And, why the knuckle shuffling? We read stories about this type of violence every day…but I’ve never heard of anyone stopping for a masturbation break. Freaky…

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Catheline Colon

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Lakeland, Florida–People get all stabby over the strangest things. Take Catheline…she wanted a Pop Tart. Her boyfriend denied her request, so she stabbed him in the chest with a steak knife. Nice.

Colon and her boyfriend, Shawn Andrews, 19, recently ended a three month co-habitation stint and Colon had moved out. She returned to the apartment on Friday to collect the rest of her belongings. Moving makes ya hungry, ya know, and Colon spied a box of Pop Tarts. When she made a move to grab one, Andrews said she couldn’t have any and he pushed her away. Then he got stabbed in the chest.

Andrews hitched a ride to the hospital with a friend–his condition isn’t known, but it was reported that the wound was severe. He refused to give a witness statement and didn’t want Colon arrested. Too bad. Catheline Colon, 18, was arrested and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. She earned a charge of tampering with evidence by trying to clean up the blood at the scene. Bond has not been set. Though Andrews physically pushed her, Colon had no visible marks, so he is not being charged.

Shirley Ybarra

Tamarac, FL–Shirley Ybarra, 50, might need some mental help. She was recently spotted at a Tamarac Publix grocery store, tampering with jars of baby food. When confronted by store employees, she said she was ‘mixing up food for her son,’ then she peed herself.

Ybarra stood in the baby food isle, with latex gloves on her hands, and injected an unknown substance into jars of baby food and bottles of baby juice. She went unnoticed by shoppers and employees for an estimated 15 minutes. Tap your kid’s hand in the grocery store and you have everyone jumping your shit, inject poison into baby food and no one notices. That’s comforting. Finally, someone with with clear vision alerted an employee.

In her shopping cart, Ybarra had several jars of the tainted baby food, several bottles of baby juice, a bottle of Pine Glo disenfectant, a baby syringe, paper towels, and a bottle of Victoria’s Secret Splash filled with a dark substance said to smell like ammonia. Employees witnessed Ybarra using a plastic syringe to transfer the unknown dye from the bottle of Victoria’s Secret Splash to the containers of baby food.

When Ybarra was confronted, she peed herself which required a trip to the bathroom to clean up. Once inside the bathroom, Ybarra threw the gloves in the trash and emptied the bottle of Pine Glo disenfectant down the toilet.

Authorities believe this was an isolated incident and no other stores were affected. The store where the incident occurred temporarily removed all the baby food from its shelves. All of the items Ybarra touched were bagged and tagged. The containers of food and juices she contaminated have been sent to the U.S.F.D.A for testing.

Ybarra was committed to a hospital under the state’s Baker Act. When doctors released her, deputies arrested her. At a bond appearance Tuesday morning, Judge John Hurley ordered her held without bond on charges of poisoning of food or water, a first-degree felony, and violation of probation, citing , ‘I think you represent a danger to the community.’ Ummm…ya think?

The violation of probation charge stems from Ybarra’s 2006 conviction of assault with a deadly weapon…she stabbed a friend with a kitchen knife and was placed on supervised release for 5 years. Nice.

Her family and friends claim that Ybarra has mental issues and that she would never hurt anyone. Hmmm…what does the friend with the knife wound have to say about that?

And the son she was mixing the baby food for? He’s a 21-year-old adult living in Orlando.

Special2bme has this one covered in the forums. Thanks Special!

Gainesville, FL–The unhappy looking gent you see pictured above is 26-year-old Devin Anthony Perry. He is in trouble for stealing a fridge full of urine samples. Even his mad CSI skills didn’t prevent his arrest….

Ya see, Devin is on probation for a previous drug arrest. He was to be on probation until 2018 for multiple drug convictions, including possession and sale of marijuana and cocaine. On Friday, he reported to the Dept. of Corrections Probation and Parole office to submit a urine sample for drug testing. And guess what? The sample proved positive for drugs. Ut-Oh! What’s a felon to do?

After realizing that the tinkle was ‘dirty,’ Devin hatched a brilliant plan to retrieve the dirty sample. Sometime between 2 and 5 a.m. Sunday morning, Devin returned to the probation office, shot out a window to gain entry, and grabbed the locked fridge used to store the tinkle. Using the aforementioned CSI skills, Perry collected shards of glass that had his blood on them and set fire to the shrubbery beneath the window. He then set off with his fridge full of pee.

Probation officers arriving to work that morning took notice of the smoldering bushes. Seeing as how the voice of God didn’t speak from the burning bush, pointing out the bad guy, the PO’s called in the police. After being handed a list of felons who may have had reason to want their samples destroyed, deputies started tracking down potential suspects.

One of the names on that list was Devin Perry. When investigators peered into a trash can at Devin’s home, they discovered the missing shards of glass, wrapped up in clothing believed to belong to Devin. Busted!

Devin Anthony Perry, was arrested and charged with arson, destroying evidence, burglary and larceny. The abducted fridge hasn’t been found.

Rancho Cucamonga, CA – Is David Mitchell Clark your electrician?  Did he ever install electrical outlets in your house?  If you live in Anaheim, Fontana, Corona, or the San Bernardino Mountains in California, you might wanna have a look at your bathroom walls.  David Mitchell Clark may have been watching you.

So far, six victims have been identified, but investigators say that there are definitely more.  Clark, 34, got caught red-handed (red-tooled?) in August when he left a power tool next to a toilet while he was working in a client’s home.  Problem was, the tool had a camera attached to the end.

When confronted, Clark said that he had to use the camera attachment so he could lower the tool into the walls and view footage while he works – kind of like microsurgery, only with walls and peeping.  He conveniently didn’t mention that he left the cameras inside the walls.  Or the downloaded video he was obtaining.  Because David Mitchell Clark is a perv like that.In September, a female resident of the home where the tool was discovered (pun intended) still felt uneasy.  So she called police, who came out to search her house.  To everyone’s surprise, officers found a video recorder with an audio receiver installed in the woman’s attic.  There was footage on the camera hard drive of a woman changing clothes in her bathroom in a totally different house.  When police went to the bathroom to check it out, they found a wireless camera installed and hidden in the plate of an electrical socket.

Turns out that Clark, working under the name DMC Electrical Services, was putting the cameras in the homes of women who hired him.  He’d then drive by the homes later and wirelessly download the video and images off the cameras.  When police searched Clark’s home, they found footage of at least six victims.

Clark was arrested and taken in for questioning, where he admitted to the counts they could prove – but also said he’d done this to many women.  His reason?  He thought “they were hot”.  Clark told investigators, “It was an opportunity that I should have never considered, but I did it, and it’s going to ruin my life.”

And your victims will never change clothes, shower, pee or do anything without wondering who’s watching. Thanks for that, David Clark, you heartless bastard.

Police believe there may be at least twenty other victims in the San Bernardino area.  If you have used DMC Electrical or know someone who has, please call authorities at 909-477-2859.

David Mitchell Clark is charged with two counts of first-degree residential burglary and two counts of disorderly conduct.  He pleaded not guilty last week, and remains in custody at West Valley Detention Center on bonds totaling $285,000.  Clark is scheduled to be in court today.  I think a few years without privacy is a very good idea.

BURNET, Texas - Jamie Perez, 23, is a cook at Andy’s Landing in the town of Burnet. On Oct 20th, Burnet Police Cheif Nelson entered the establishment and ordered a hamburger. Upon eating the hamburger, Nelson noticed Perez and another cook watching him eat it. Yeah, that’s not a good sign no matter who you are, but especially if you are a cop. On Monday, police walked into the kitchen and arrested Perez. On Tuesday, they arrested James Ledesma. They were both charged with tampering with a consumer product. Wanna know what Perez did? Of course you do.

Seems as if Perez wiped his ass with the bun, put the vegetables in his mouth before placing them on the burger, and then as a final touch, spit and blew snot on it. Tasty, huh? Tampering with a consumer product is a second-degree felony, so these guys may not be looking at a slap on the wrist. Especially since medical tests have not come back on the Chief to see if he may have contracted anything from ingesting Perez’s bodily fluids. No one would have probably ever found out about this, had Perez not told someone who in turn, told police.

Aside from Chief Nelson, the restaurant is suffering from this incident as well. Even though Nelson has tried to tell patrons in the town that this incident was directly aimed at him, as he had run ins with Perez in the past, business has been slow at Andy’s Landing.

“I hope that our customers do keep coming in, and trust us to continue preparing their food,” said General Manager Tiffany Tappe, who also stated that Perez was their best cook. “It’s the last thing we ever expected,” she said.

More charges may be pending, as they are discussing drawing blood from Perez to see if he may have any communicable diseases.