When the man tried to quickly walk away,  Meyers grabbed him and placed him under arrest. Nitinkuma A. Patel, 27,  who worked at a local donut shop, was charged with aggravated criminal sexual contact, lewdness, and child abuse. After his arrest, another victim identified Patel as the man who urinated on her and police are looking into five more reported incidents since late December. The victims are between the ages of 16 and 25 and anyone who has been the victim of a similar incident is asked to call Jersey City police at (201) 547-JAIL. If anyone still has a taste for a donut this morning, Jaded is handing them out in the lobby. Just don’t ask her where we ordered them from.

Oh, and I will use any excuse to post Van Halen videos featuring Dave

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Danny Brawner

On July 28, the off-duty officer and his young son were driving through the parking lot at Smith’s Food and Drug store when they happened across a rather odd site – Danny Brawner, pants down, bare assed and hanging free, simulating sex with the trunk of his car. His arms were waving around in the air and he was shouting. What he was shouting hasn’t been reported. (In my twisted little imagination, he’s screaming, “Who’s ‘yer daddy now – you dirty little slut! Daddy liiiiike!” Or something like that. The scene in my mind goes on and on, but, I’ll spare you. Damn my vivid imagination). Instead of pointing and laughing until he pissed his pants, the off-duty officer called in a couple of on-duty officers. When they arrived, they found the alleged trunk bugger passed out next to that schmexy beast of a car. And, ain’t that just like a man? Wham, bam, yawn, snore. Authorities believe alcohol may have played a factor in the lewdness. Danny Brawner, 46, was indicted on two felony counts of aggravated indecent exposure. It’s classified a felony because a couple of kids witnessed the bizarre coupling. Turns out, Danny has prior convictions of armed robbery, drug and alcohol arrests, and a sex offense. Wonder what make and model she was?

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David Shapiro

After interviewing guests at three hotels in Orange and Osceola counties, police learned Shapiro had been observed engaging in the same behavior as at the Enclave Suites. The guests said Shapiro would position himself near families at the swimming pools at the resort in a way so anyone observing him would get an unwanted eyeful of the old one-eye’s hiding place. Police kept an active surveillance 24/7 on Shapiro for over a week, with the plan to build a strong case against the trouser-snake wrangler. At one resort, they photographed Shapiro near a children’s pool as he adjusted and manipulated himself into a state of arousal. After Shapiro left the hotel, detectives followed him to several other hotels where he was observed doing the same thing at those hotels, and in one instance, he even exposed his funky-junk for all to see.

Shapiro was arrested for lewd and lascivious exhibition in the presence of a victim less than 16 years of age and… as if you did not already see this coming, this is not his first time! Gasp! Yes Demonites, Shapiro is a Registered Sex Offender who has been making an exhibition of his Free-Willy sideshow since 1997 and even spent some time slamming his schlong in the slammer. Hah! Say those last nine words 5 times fast. The police are working closely with the hoteliers and others to make sure something like this does not happen again and feel confident that they got an individual off the streets of Orange County who had done this multiple times.

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Robert Payne

The answer is D. This repugnant, depraved, perverted piece of shit wrote that love note to his wife’s daughter. His wife came across the crumpled up note while cleaning the house on Wednesday…it was addressed to her child. Detective Richard Giaccone said the woman was devestated. “Her world was turned upside down, because not only does she have this terrible incident going on with her own child, just two weeks prior she was at odds with her sister in denial of what she was claiming may or may not have happened to support her husband.” After the woman took the letter to the police department, kudos to her, Payne initially denied writing it. Under further questioning, he fessed. He admitted that he was attracted to the child and had a fascination with her…writing the letter to her was all part of a fantasy. He told investigators that he had exposed himself to the girl on four different occasions and performed a sex act on himself. He also said he once touched the girl’s backside through her clothes. The victim told investigators that Payne had touched her inappropriately while he fondled himself. Payne explained that he is a pervy sack of shit because he had been sexually abused as a child.

Robert William Payne was arrested on four counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition and one count of lewd and lascivious molestation. As far as I can tell, bond has not been set. Surprise! Payne has faced similar accusations before but was never charged due to lack of evidence. Let’s hope this shit sticks….

Payne’s Myspace

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Robert Kolibas

“I just hear noises and I woke up,” the girl told police. “He was just feeling me and trying to take my clothes off and everything.” The girl tried kicking her friend in an attempt to wake her up, but Robert held her legs. “He whispered in my ear that he was sorry and that not to feel bad and not to tell anybody,” she stated. The girl also believes that Robert may have taken pictures of her during the assault. The freaked out teen later called her mother for a ride home. When her mother arrived to pick her up, the girl exited the house in tears. She looked a bit disheveled and was walking funny. When mom confronted Robert and asked him what the hell happened, he told her that the girl ‘probably rubbed up against his daughter in her sleep’ or had a nightmare. Come to find out, the girl had benzodiazepine, a sedative, in her blood. A search of Robert’s home turned up three Smoothie bags containing prescription drugs. But, there is no information as to whether or not any photographs of the teen were recovered. And, though I wonder if his own daughter had consumed a drugged Smoothie, I haven’t found any information on that either.

At one point in the search, Robert told police that “he should have known that something like this was going to happen. They should never have allowed sleepovers.” Yeah, Robert…hindsight and all that happy crap, right? Asshole. It came as no surprise to learn that Robert is a registered sex offender. He was convicted of a misdemeanor charge of providing obscene materials to a minor while living in Florida in ‘95. The original charge started out as a felony, but was later reduced to a misdemeanor. Robert was on Florida’s list of sex offenders, but, because the charge was a misdemeanor, under Vermont law, he was not required to register in that state. Robert Kolibas, 50, was arrested in Maine this month and returned to Vermont over the weekend. He is being held, without bail, on charges of lewd and lascivious conduct with a child, second degree unlawful restraint, and giving a drug to a minor. Authorities believe he may have been planning on fleeing to Canada. Fucking coward…

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Douglas Shepherd

Last Sunday, Douglas checked himself into Fletcher Allen Health Care…he was feeling a little suicidal. He told a nurse that he wanted to kill himself because of his attraction to a kid he was watching. Douglas went on to explain that he had been a nanny for two small children in South Hero and he had done stuff with them. He stated that “he had become attracted to children and had done things with a ten year old.” The alleged abuse began in mid-April. It started off with Douglas hugging and kissing the young boy, and escalated to engaging in sex. He admitted to the abuse, telling police he first thought of the victim “like a son,” but then, “the dynamic of that changed and turned into you know, I see him as a lover.” He admitted to having images of child porn on various personal electronic devices. During an interview with police, a detective asked Douglas if he thought he should get in trouble. He answered, “Yeah of course I do. But you know what prison is like. I wouldn’t make it in prison. We all know that.” Douglas Shepherd, 23, now faces seven counts of aggravated sexual assault, nine counts of lewd and lascivious conduct with a child, one count of use of a child in a sexual performance, one count of promoting and recording sexual conduct, and one count of possession of child pornography.

Police are concerned there may be more victims. Douglas has held similar jobs in California, Florida, and Michigan. He spent some time at summer camps for boys in Texas and New York. He had also been approved to be a substitute teacher in Grand Isle County. Anyone with information about Douglas Shepherd is asked to contact the Northwest Unit for Special Investigations at 802-527-4002. Police say Douglas has also used the alias Parker Wilder and possibly Donald Shepherd.

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This stunt has been pulled on at least three unsuspecting women looking for a job.  Police suspect there may be more victims. After being charged with three counts of indecent exposure, Merrill is now free on $5,000 bail.  He recently, today, put a boat up for sale on Craigslist, saying he “must sell”, as he’s “quickly moving out of state”.  I wonder if this requires going to his house and watching him get undressed before taking a test drive.

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James Silbernagel

According to the criminal complaint, last Thursday, after having been in the home earlier in the day, James returned to the home of a neighbor and approached her 11-year-old son, who was just leaving the bathroom after a shower. James whipped out a knife , held it to the boy, and ordered him to remove his towel. He then licked the boy’s belly button and grabbed his ass before the child beat feet and escaped to a neighbor’s home.

When police apprehended James, they noted the smell of liquor on his breath. In his pockets, James had two condoms and a folding knife. The pervy weirdo was promptly arrested and charged with two counts of felony first-degree burglary and felony second-degree sexual misconduct.

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Later that day, Barreras was pulled over by police and when the contents of his car were revealed, Tiara was shocked. Inside Barreras’ car underneath the driver’s side floor mat they found a knife. Police also found two unused condoms, one on the passenger seat and the other in the glove box. “I was shocked because he would have probably killed us and raped us. I was so scared,” Tiara said. She had every right to be frightened and I am very relieved she and her sister did not get into this psycho’s car.

Barreras is a registered sex offender tracked by an electronic ankle bracelet. One report shows he was arrested for rape in 2005 and another shows he was sentenced to three years for attempted rape in August 2006 and then was placed on lifetime supervision in June 2007. Also, in March and April of 2008, he approached three different teenage girls near a high school. The pervy bastard cruised by them and exposed himself while he masturbated.

After Barreras was arrested and charged with solicitation of child rape that day, he was again arrested in jail for indecent exposure. He complained about pain in one of his legs and asked to go to the nursing station. Once there, he began masturbating in front of the nurse, and said, “I am a freak, are you a freak?” Barreras’ bail was set at half a million dollars. His arrest record also shows he has been charged with drug possession with intent to sell in 1999, 2002 and 2003. In 2000, he was arrested for vandalism and aggravated robbery. Obviously, this is one guy that needs to stay behind bars because he certainly seems to be getting off in more ways than one, pun intended.

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Paul Wiggins

Yesterday morning, around 3:20 a.m., a 29-year old woman awoke to find Paul Wiggins,46, sexually molesting her while she slept on the floor next to her boyfriend. Wiggins, who lives with the boyfriend, was charged with sexual battery and is being held in lieu of $20,000 bail. Wiggins has quite a criminal history that dates back to 1985. He has been arrested 50 times in Florida prior to this incident. His arrest record includes arrests for burglary, drug sale and possession and more than a dozen battery and assault charges, several of which were dropped. Wiggins has also been arrested several times on charges of violating domestic violence protective injunctions, including once last week. He’s spent time in jail for several cases, including a burglary, cocaine possession and two batteries.

All I can say, is  that if he tried that shit with me, there would have been no need for the officers to handcuff his sorry ass. They would have found him with both his hands shoved up his anus.

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Jacob Myran

According to the criminal complaint filed last week, the young victim told authorities she was sleeping in the top bunk at her friend’s house when Myran crawled into the bed and assaulted her, with another young girl sleeping in the bed below. The child said Myran appeared to be drunk. The complaint states that the incident did not involve intercourse. The girl told relatives that she didn’t say anything sooner because she thought no one would believe her. Relatives had noticed a change in the young girl since the night of the slumber party…she’s become distant, they said. She avoids going to the home where the incident occurred and she no longer plays with Myran’s child…something she used to do every day.

While investigating the sexual assault claim, investigators got a peek at Myran’s computer. I guess you wouldn’t be surprised if I told you he used that computer to access child pornography. Jacob Myran has been charged with first- and second-degree criminal sexual conduct. Bail was set at $200,000.

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Mikeal Branham

After his friend grabbed a bat and Mazzie grabbed a cane, they both went over to the abandoned house with their dogs, a pit-bull and a german sheppard. When they got back to the vacant home, they found the man, half-naked, on top of the girl. “She was crying and saying ‘please stop, you’re hurting me. please stop.” said Mazzie. When the two men saviors approached the nasty perp., he leapt out of a window and ran down an alley. Mazzie told the girl “Honey you didn’t do nothing wrong. Come over to me.” Then Mazzie placed a towel around her that he had from his porch while his friend chased after the pervert. When Mazzie asked the girl if she knew who the man was, she said, “Yeah, that’s Mikey.” The girl’s mother told police Mikey is her brother’s name and that he lived nearby. A short time later, police arrested Mikeal Branham, 33, and charged him with kidnapping, assault with intent to commit criminal sexual conduct, malicious destruction of property and resisting and obstructing a police officer.

“He’s my brother,” said the girl’s mother. “You just never think a brother would do something like this to somebody.” She also said her daughter is starting to recover from the attack and is thankful for her rescuers. The girl told her mother, “Mommy I want to know the nice man’s name. I want to know that nice man who saved me.” Her hero, James Mazzie, says he’s just glad the girl was not hurt. “I’m glad that she wasn’t killed and that it wasn’t too late. I’m pretty sure he didn’t get the time to do what he was going to do.”

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